Oh boy we got an infamous one on our hands! How...exciting! Yeah, exciting...yep, today we're talking about "To Love A Patty", a very, very notorious episode. Most notorious? Oh definitely not, but it's infamous for sure. And in former days I too have rated this episode quite lowly. My season 5 overview from 2018 saw this episode getting a 2.6/10. So I'm no stranger to hating on this episode. But as with all of these newer reviews, I sat down and rewatched "To Love A Patty" from start to finish to make sure my opinions were 100% updated, and I can tell you now that some things have definitely changed.
Watching the first minute of the episode, all I can think about is when a certain reviewer who will not be named got mad that SpongeBob sang the word “surreptitiously”…I feel like that makes this first part funnier to me, much like how the “security system” meme has retroactively improved that scene in “Good Neighbors”. This beginning part is fun enough. SpongeBob singing wasn’t like…Grammy-winning, but I thought the drum solo part was cute. And I liked the sequence of SpongeBob actually making the sandwiches, lots of fun visuals there. Now of course about a minute in is where things start to get weird…and hey, I love weird! But I mean this episode is weird because SpongeBob falls in love with a Krabby Patty he created. Well, he doesn’t really fall in love. More like becomes infatuated. But anyway, yeah it’s freaking weird, but it’s also weird in-universe, which I think helps things quite a bit. And you know I love a good bit of dramatics, which this episode has in droves. I like how SpongeBob is determined not to let Patty be eaten. Squidward’s comment about getting a refund from his therapist was hilarious. And the bit with the fire was funny, I love how Gary is the one to solve the issue, like that’s my GOAT!
I’d say the main thing I dislike about this episode is how heteronormative it is. And yes I am going to say this I don’t care. Like to make SpongeBob infatuated with Patty, of course they had to give this literal sandwich a gender and “feminine” characteristics. Honestly, I don’t like the idea of SpongeBob falling in love romantically anyway, because that’s my aroace king, so I choose to think of this purely as aesthetic attraction and infatuation thank you very much next caller. SpongeBob’s treatment of Patrick and Sandy is also a low point, but it also gives us the hilarious line “I’ve been replaced by a sandwich!” so you win some, you lose some.
And then we move on to the next part of the episode, which is the song. Again, SpongeBob is infatuated with this sandwich, it’s weird. Honestly, when the song started playing I couldn’t help but laugh because if I didn’t laugh I’d cry. Every time he belts something I just lose it lmao. The song is actually kinda good though, won’t lie. It feels like such a 2000s song. And I love how SpongeBob goes batsh** and just murks a bunch of scallops. After the song ends, and as the episode goes on, we see how completely insane SpongeBob is in this episode, gazing adoringly at a rotting sandwich. At least as we move on, I get a lovely surprise in the form of a gorgeous background shot of the Krusty Krab. Like those purples and pinks, amazing! Anyway, I love the little conversation between Mr. Krabs and Squidward. Squidward has some great one-off comments in this episode, honestly.
And then we’re back to me having a weird feeling when the three are talking about SpongeBob dating…I just don’t like it. SpongeBob and romance don’t go together I just don’t know what to tell you! Anyway, I loved that shot of SpongeBob looking like a dork, that was adorable. When SpongeBob brings Patty in, we get a kinda not funny moment between two background characters. Like honestly that felt pointless to me, SpongeBob could’ve just brought Patty in and gone straight to Mr. Krabs and Squidward, but okay. Mr. Krabs’ comment was funny though. And also, this episode has got some really great paintings going on, because that painting of Patty was so very nasty but also great. And the second one is even grosser, I dig it. I love how SpongeBob bribes Mr. Krabs too. And I also like how we can tell that SpongeBob knows Patty is rotting, but he’s also willingly blinding himself in his infatuation. That’s actually some pretty nuanced writing. Now, it’s nuanced writing that doesn’t go anywhere, like there’s no point in having SpongeBob not being completely oblivious, but it’s still nuanced lol.
And then we get the moment we’ve been waiting for, SpongeBob realizes that Patty is completely disgusting. I like how Mr. Krabs echoes Sandy’s words from earlier, that was a nice bit of consistency. And I love how dramatic SpongeBob is in eating Patty, which was gross, but necessary.
“To Love A Patty” joins my growing list of episodes that I once considered to be the scum of the Earth because of popular opinion, and have now realized aren’t as bad as people have made them out to be. This episode actually has quite a few funny moments, and although the whole plot is weird, that’s not an inherent issue. I think this episode would’ve worked much better if the whole romantic aspect of it was scrapped, and SpongeBob just thought he crafted a sandwich so beautiful it couldn’t be eaten. So essentially the same thing, but without any of the “dating” stuff. The worst thing about the plot to me is again how heteronormative it is, and how much I don’t like SpongeBob being portrayed with any kind of romantic interest. But I also know that this episode is over 15 years old, and is on Nickelodeon…I wouldn’t expect it to break barriers. That doesn’t mean I have to like what I see though. All things considered, I’d say this episode belongs in...“Mediocre”. This episode tries to do the weird and absurd comedy we love to see, but it fails because the plot just does not work. And frankly, beneath all the weirdness, this episode is kinda boring lol. There’s a lot of moments where not much happens, and not in a good way like season 1 had going on. But this episode is nowhere near as bad as it has been made out to be. Not at all.
Episode Tier: Mediocre
Episode Score: 5.4/10
: Honestly, this episodes is creepy and disgusting as Hell. I wanted to puke. In conclusion, I'LL NEVER WATCH THIS ::dolphin noise:: ::dolphin noise::TY EPISODE AGAIN!!! And yes, SpongeBob is gay in this dirty episode.
