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Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm

(Opens at night on the surface of the ocean, full moon, and the island can be seen in the moonlight.)
French Narrator: Aaah, another peaceful evening in Bikini Bottom. (Scene changes to looking down at downtown Bikini Bottom from a hillside.) Listen to the tropical tranquility. (the earth shakes) Uh-oh.
(A creature snaking under the sand gulps down the Bikini Bottom city sign, and is then seen heading for the city. It eats a boat mobile that a cop is about to give a ticket to. Seeing the boat gone, the cop moves the fire hydrant over to another boat, gives the ticket, then walks away, whistling.)
(Cut to SpongeBob's house. The creature is seen snaking under the sand towards the pineapple.)
Gary: (being woken up by the creature) Meooooow!
SpongeBob: (talking in his sleep) Two scoops, please. Thank you. (creature eats his blanket) Keep the change. (creature eats his pillow, he wakes up) Uh-what? (He watches in horror as he sees the creature leaving his house, the whole side of the house eaten away.)
(Cut to the Krusty Krab.)
SpongeBob: I saw it! It was big. It was aaall wiggly! (wiggles his whole body) And it ate everything!
Patrick: That's horrible! (dumps his entire tray of food into his mouth)
SpongeBob: It was an ALASKAN BULL WORM!!!
(Crowd at the Krusty Krab has grown large. They gasp and talk all at once after hearing what SpongeBob has just described.)
Fred: He ate my wheelbarrow. (has a wheelbarrow with a bite taken out of it)
Negative Nancy: He ate my children's homework. (two kids wink and give a thumbs up)
Fish 3: Do I need to say it? (he's turned around, showing a bite taken out of his rear)
Crowd: How can we protect ourselves?
Mr. Krabs: I got it! Let's all buy a krabby patty! (crowd boos and throws ketchup and mustard bottles at him)
Fish 4: We should lock our doors!
Old lady fish: We should call my nephew.
Fish dressed in knight's armor: We should dig a moat! (holds up a sword)
Patrick: We should take Bikini Bottom and push it somewhere else!
Squidward: That idea may just be crazy enough-TA GET US ALL KILLED!
(The crowd is getting all worked up.)
Fred: Let's get someone to go after it.
Mr. Krabs: There ain't no one fool enough to take on an Alaskan Bull Worm!
(Suddenly there is heard the sound of something sharp scraping on glass, everyone cringes and covers their ears. We see it is the hook-hand of an old fisherman fish dressed in yellow rain gear. He resembles the old fisherman from a certain famous shark movie.)
Fisherman: You got a bathroom in this place?
Mr. Krabs: In the back.
Fisherman: Thanks. (runs off)
Sandy: (sitting in a corner, big cowboy hat over her face) I'll catch yer worm for ya-(lifts hat) that is, if'n yer willin' ta pay!
Mr. Krabs: Nooo!!! You'll never get a cent outa me! Never! I'd rather that worm come in here right now and eat you all alive! (starts foaming at the mouth and breathing heavily; crowd is looking silently at him, dumbfounded) Uh, yeah. Sorry.
Sandy: (giggles) Aw, shucks. I don't want yer money, I was just playin' up the drama of the moment, is all! (Mr. Krabs laughs nervously) Nope! I'm gonna take that spineless critter down fer nothin', cuz this is personal! Look! My tail's gone! (turns and shows tail has been cut off, crowd gasps) Varmint musta got it while I had my back turned, the coward! (crowd mumbles and shakes heads) I am gonna get back what's mine!
(Crowd cheers loudly for Sandy.)
SpongeBob: (looking scared) What? But Sandy, you don't know what you're up against! We're talkin' about an ALASKAN BULL WORM!!
Sandy: Well, I don't know nothin' about Alaska, but looky here. (pulls out a wallet with photos) Back in Texas, I wrangled bulls, and I wrangled worms. Far as I'm concerned, doin' 'em both together just saves rope. Now I'm gonna go kick me some worm tail! Yeeee-haw!! (runs off)
SpongeBob: (running after her) But Sandy, you don't know!
Sandy: Don't worry, SpongeBob. I won't be long. (leaves restaurant)
SpongeBob: (still running after her) Sandy, Sandy!
(The crowd in the restaurant is cheering.)
Mr. Krabs: Go get 'im, Sandy! We have the utmost confidence in ya! (turns to Patrick) Now what was that idea of yours?
(Cut to wide angle view of Bikini Bottom, everyone at one side of town.)
Patrick: Push!!
(Crowd grunts loudly and is seen trying to push the whole town.)
(Cut to Sandy walking along somewhere outside and SpongeBob trying to catch up.)
SpongeBob: (out of breath) Wait-Sandy!
Sandy: Hey, SpongeBob, you comin' ta watch?
SpongeBob: Sandy! Don't go!
Sandy: Why not?
SpongeBob: Sandy, I saw it. It's big, scary, and PINK!!!
Sandy: So is Patrick's bellybutton, but I ain't afraid of that, neither.
SpongeBob: You'll get massacred! (he breaks into a bunch of pieces that fall to the ground)
Sandy: (looking down at him) SpongeBob, I'm from Texas. What you think is big, and what I think is big, are two totally different bigs. Besides, he's got my tail. I can't take that sittin' down.
SpongeBob: (back to normal) Okay but, what if the worm didn't take your tail?
Sandy: If that worm ain't got my tail, who does?
SpongeBob: (hesitantly) Um-I do.
Sandy: You do? Where?
SpongeBob: Uh, in my pocket.
Sandy: Well, why didn't you just say so? Give it here! Come on.
SpongeBob: (reaching into his pocket) Oh-mmm. (he's hesitant to open his hand and show Sandy what's there)
Sandy: (seeing what's in his hand) SpongeBob. That's a paperclip, and a piece of string.
SpongeBob: No it's not. This is your tail.
Sandy: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: How would you know?! It's always behind you! (jumps on her, and is nearly in tears) Ooohh, don't go! Don't go! Do-o-on't gooo.
Sandy: (prying him off) SpongeBob, what is the matter with you? Now, I'm gonna go give that legless rascal what-fer, and there ain't nothin' you can say to stop me.
SpongeBob: Oh yeah? What if I said- Blargen fodibble nohem!
Sandy: Well, I gotta admit, that's slowin' me down. But I'm still goin' for 'im! (walks off)
SpongeBob: Ya know, tales are so overrated. Let's just forget about it and go home. (Sandy just keeps walking with a determined look on her face. Next we see SpongeBob run up to her with a triple scoop ice cream cone in his hand.) I got ice creeeam! (she just keeps walking) With nuts. (Next SpongeBob is wearing a squirrel mask and speaks with a bad Texas accent.) Sandy! This is yer pappy speakin', and I forbid you to go after this worm! Y'all come back here, young lady!
Sandy: You ain't my pa!
(Suddenly, SpongeBob jumps in front of her wearing boxing gloves.)
SpongeBob: Sandy! If you wanna get to that worm, you're gonna have to go through me! (She walks through him like he was saloon doors. SpongeBob then jumps at her back, grabbing her by the feet.) Sandy, no-o! I can't let you. I'm not gonna let you get killed! If you find him, you'll get eaten for sure!
Sandy: Ain't no way some dumb ol' sea worm's gonna make a meal of me. I'm too Texas tough.
SpongeBob: No-o-o, not tough enough. Not tough enough!
Sandy: SpongeBob, quit yer worryin'. I can take care of myself. After all, who's the strongest critter in Bikini Bottom? (pulls on an anchor chain, a yacht comes down from the surface)
SpongeBob: You are.
Sandy: And-who put the hi-ya hi-ho "k" in karate?
SpongeBob: (he is in the shape of a "u") You did.
Sandy: And-who saves your yella backside from certain destruction on a regular basis?
(SpongeBob is seen turned around, sticking out his backside, on which his pants read: "Property of Sandy Cheeks")
SpongeBob: You do.
Sandy: Right. And I can handle your little bull worm, too. 'Cause I am the best there is. There ain't nothin' too big or too ornery for me ta catch.
SpongeBob: Okay.
Sandy: Say it!
SpongeBob: There isn't anything-
Sandy: Ain't nothin'!!
SpongeBob: (mimicking Sandy) Ain't nothin' (back to regular voice) too big or too ornery for you to catch. But-
Sandy: Da-ah! (starts walking away)
SpongeBob: (following) But-
Sandy: Da!
SpongeBob: And-
Sandy: Doh!
SpongeBob: We-
Sandy: Doh!
SpongeBob: I-
Sandy: Da!
SpongeBob: Yeah, but-
Sandy: Doh!
SpongeBob: You see-
Sandy: No!
SpongeBob: I-
Sandy: Uuh.
(Cut to their destination)
Sandy: (swiping something off the ground and sniffing it) Worm sign. (we see a tiny sign that reads: "Worm" in her hand) He's in that cave.
SpongeBob: Sandy, are you sure you-
Sandy: 'Course I am! I'm goin' in, and I ain't comin' out 'til I got me a big heapin' plate of worm stew! (SpongeBob cowers behind a rock as Sandy enters the cave.) Ha! There you are, you tail nabbin' varmint! (she makes a bunch of karate noises, the earth shakes, then she peeks out briefly) I'm winnin', SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Sandy, that's not-
(More karate noises and earth shaking)
Sandy: (peeking out again) This shouldn't take long!
SpongeBob: Sandy, that's not-
(Still more noises and shaking)
Sandy: Almost done! (gives a thumbs up)
SpongeBob: Sandy!!
(Some final noises and shaking, then Sandy comes out of the cave, riding what looks like a big earthworm.)
Sandy: Yee-haw! I've got 'im, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: (in a terrified voice) Sandy-
Sandy: (now standing on top of the worm, which is tied into a knot) Boy, howdy! This critter put up some sorta fight. But I'm from Texas, and as you can see, no worm is a match for me! I even found my tail! (shows her tail tied back onto her body)
SpongeBob: That's not the worm.
Sandy: (looking annoyed) Pardon?
SpongeBob: That's not the worm. That's his tongue.
(Camera pans out to show the cave is actually a giant worm with it's mouth open, Sandy is still standing on it's tongue.)
Sandy: (sounding very sheepish) Ooooooh-this is the tongue, and the whole thing is the-worm. RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIFE!!!
(They run off just as the worm slams his mouth shut. It growls, then chases after them.)
SpongeBob: (out of breath) So, what's the plan, Sandy?
Sandy: Run faster!
SpongeBob: I coulda thought of that. Hey, wait a minute! I was right, wasn't I?!
Sandy: Later!
SpongeBob: Ah, he is too big for you, isn't he!
Sandy: Not now, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I wanna hear you say it.
Sandy: Can we talk about this another time?
SpongeBob: Say it-
Sandy: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Say it or I'll trip you!! (sticks out his foot while still running)
Sandy: NO!! Get away!
SpongeBob: Say it.
Sandy: Not now.
SpongeBob: SAY IT!
Sandy: OK! You were right, and I was wrong. I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! Are ya happy now?
SpongeBob: I knew it.
(The worm lets out another growl as it's right behind them.)
SpongeBob and Sandy: Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
(As they're being chased, they run past the fish that was bitten in the rear by the worm. He's leaning over, fixing a boat mobile, and we see bandages on his rear. When the worm passes him, it's taken another bite from his rear.)
Fish 3: Not again!
SpongeBob: (still running) Uh, Sandy?
Sandy: Yeah?
SpongeBob: What do we do now?
Sandy: I've got it! SpongeBob, you still got that paperclip and that string?
SpongeBob: I'm way ahead of ya, Sandy! (pulls out the paperclip and string and makes a necklace) Look! It's a necklace. "S" for SpongeBob, or, "S" for Sandy. That way, they can identify our bodies.
Sandy: No, silly! How 'bout "S" for "Save our Skins"! (She makes a lasso out of it and hooks it around a coral tree, grabbing SpongeBob and swinging up and then on top of the worm.) Now this is what I call a rodeo! We'll be nice and safe up here.
(Camera pans out to show the worm is headed toward a cliff. As it races over the edge, SpongeBob and Sandy run like mad the other direction.)
SpongeBob and Sandy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
(They make it to the end of the worm and jump onto the edge of the cliff as the worm keeps falling.)
Sandy: We did it!
SpongeBob: Yay! He'll never get outa there!
Sandy: We saved the town!
SpongeBob: Yay! Let's go tell everybody!
(Cut to everyone still pushing the entire town of Bikini Bottom, and they happen to be at the bottom of the cliff where SpongeBob and Sandy were.)
Patrick: Push!
Everyone: (deep, hard working voice) AAAAHHH!!
Patrick: Push!
(One last heave-ho, and then they stop.)
Everyone: Hooray!
(The worm suddenly lands on top of the whole town.)
Worm: Oooouch.
End