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Your Shoe's Untied

(SpongeBob is watching sea-creatures on TV)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Gary! (changes channel to a football game) Uhh, I was just looking for the sports channel, Gary. (knock on door) Come in!
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, wanna see my new shoes? (shows blue tennis shoes)
SpongeBob: Wow! Those are great, Patrick! Let's see what they look like on your feet.
Patrick: Uhh, wouldn't you rather see them on my hands? (puts shoes on his hands)
SpongeBob: Okay. (puts white gloves on his feet) And we can wear gloves on our feet... (puts hat on his back) and hats on our captain's quarters, too!
Patrick: Uhh, actually, I have a confession to make. (whispers in his ear) I don't know how to tie my shoelaces.
SpongeBob: (laughs) Do you know how lucky you are to have a friend like me?
Patrick: Yes. (SpongeBob places one foot on the chair)
SpongeBob: Look at this knot. Have you ever seen a more perfectly executed shoe-fastening bow?
Patrick: Gosh, probably not.
SpongeBob: I learned when I was just a boy, Patrick, and I'm willing to pass on what I know. Go sit over there and let an old pro show you how to do it. (Patrick sits down in the chair and SpongeBob sets his foot on the chair arm) Pay close attention, Patrick. (unties his laces) Well, you start by taking one lace per hand. (grabs both laces) And then you...uhh, you gotta...loop the...uhh...
Patrick: Are you sure you know how to do it?
SpongeBob: Patrick, please! Shoe-tying requires peace and quiet! Okay, where was I?
Patrick: Your shoes are still untied. (SpongeBob takes his shoe off the chair)
SpongeBob: Well, I guess you don't want me to show you how to do it.
Patrick: I'm sorry! (covers his mouth with his shoes) I won't interrupt anymore!
SpongeBob: I've got it! The first rule of shoe-tying is always start with your right foot. Now the lesson will officially begin. (sets his right foot on the chair arm and unties his laces. Ties his laces but they come undone. SpongeBob laughs nervously and tries again but the laces untie themselves once more) That's not right. (laughs) Get it? Not...right?
Patrick: No.
SpongeBob: Okay, no more fooling around! (tries to tie the laces again) I've got it! (lifts up hands to show them tied in a lot of knots)
Patrick: What was that? Are you okay, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Patrick, aren't you late for something?
Patrick: Oh, poop deck! You're right! We'll have to do this lesson later! Bye SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I can't believe I've forgotten how to tie my shoes. They've been tied as long as I can remember. (flashbacks to being a baby with legs and shoes only) Well, I'll remember after a good night's sleep. (when morning arrives, SpongeBob looks at his shoes and they are still untied) No big deal. I'll remember sooner or later. (opens the front door) 'Cause I'm ready! I'm rea... (takes a step and trips) ...dy! (stands up) I'm rea... (takes another step and trips) ...dy! (stands up) I'm rea... (takes another step and trips) ...dy! (stands up) I'm rea... (takes another step and trips) ...doy! (arrives at the Krusty Krab. Patrick, who is eating a krabby patty, notices SpongeBob)
Patrick: Well hiya, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: (gasps) Oh, no. I can't let Pat see I still haven't tied my shoes. (stands up and puts two holes through the floor with his feet) Patrick: Hey SpongeBob, you're shorter. Have you been dieting?
SpongeBob: Well, a sponge has to look his spongiest. (walks to the kitchen putting a line of holes in the floor with his feet) Well, I've gotta get to work. (opens kitchen door and plops on the floor, face first) Oh, barnacles, maybe I should just lay here.
Squidward: (peeks his head through the order window) Those patties aren't gonna cook themselves, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: He's right! Got to make... Krabby Patties! (he holds out a spatula and gets up) Laces or no laces! (crawls over to the grill) I just have to stand in this one spot. (makes a krabby patty) Ta-da! A perfect patty.
Squidward: Alright, SpongeBob, hand it over. Well? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath. Then imagines his shoe laces as snakes who squeeze him then the hallucination goes away)
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward! I've got an idea! How about you come get it?
Squidward: Oh gee, SpongeBob, that's a great idea! And maybe I should cook the patties, and do the dishes, and wear square pants, and live in a pineapple... while you wait in the unemployment line!
SpongeBob: No!
Squidward: Then bring that patty here now!
SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward. Here I come. I'm coming over. (scoots his feet along the floor inch by inch) I'm bringing the patty to you. Here comes the patty. No problem. I'm walking...the Krabby Patty...over to Squidward. All right, Squidward! I'm giving you the patty...for the hungry customer. So they can eat it when I give it to you. Which is right...now! (holds out the patty but scene zooms out to show that SpongeBob never moved)
Squidward: Uhh, SpongeBob. I'm over here, now move!
SpongeBob: Okay, Squidward! (looks down at his feet) Just slowly move your leg. (tries to take a step but trips himself and sends the patty flying through the air at Squidward) D'oh!
Squidward: SpongeBob! (the patty lands in his mouth)
SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Squidward!
Squidward: (chewing the patty) SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: I'll just make another. (makes another patty but trips again throwing the patty towards Squidward)
Squidward: Sponge... (patty enters his mouth)
SpongeBob: Hold it! (makes another patty and trips again sending the patty into Squidward's mouth again) Let me just... (makes another patty) D'oh! (he trips again and launches another patty. This continues for a while. Pretty soon, Squid is extremely huge. A group of customers is standing at the register. An old man pokes him) Customer: What's the holdup? (Squidward turns around and burps really loudly)
Squidward: I think my heart just stopped. (customers complain) It's Sponge... (burps) ...bob's fault! ('SpongeBob's fault' echoes in SpongeBob's head)
SpongeBob: I've failed. My career is over. I'm sorry, spatula. (puts down the spatula and takes his hat off) I'm sorry, hat. (puts it back on) I'm sorry, floor. (hugs a box of patties) I am sorry, Krabby Patties. (lies in a puddle of tears while Mr. Krabs is working on a crossword puzzle)
Mr. Krabs: Let's see, a five-letter word for happiness. Money. (laughs)
Customer: This is the worst service we've ever had! We're going to the Chum Bucket! (Mr. Krabs opens the bathroom door to see what the problem is)
Mr. Krabs: Wait, wait! Don't go! (his pants are undone)
Customer: Oh yeah, we are definitely out of here. (Mr. Krabs runs over to the door)
Mr. Krabs: Wait, wait! Don't go! That's me money walking out the door! What's the meaning of this, Mr. Squidward?
Squidward: It's SpongeBob's fault. (Mr. Krabs gets upset. His eyes turn into steamboat whistles)
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, get out here! (peeks out the kitchen door) More. (SpongeBob peeks out a little more) More. (SpongeBob stretches himself partially through the door) All the way, boy! (SpongeBob falls to the ground completely out the door) What be the matter, SpongeBob? I ought to make you walk the plank for this.
SpongeBob: I'm sorry Mr. Krabs, it's just that I...I...
Mr. Krabs: Yes?
SpongeBob: I...I...I...I...I...
Mr. Krabs: Yes? Yes? Yes?
SpongeBob: I...I...I...I...I...
Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy! What is it?
SpongeBob: I forgot how to tie my shoes.
Mr. Krabs: (laughs) That's all?
SpongeBob: So you'll show me how?
Mr. Krabs: I don't wear shoes. (SpongeBob gasps then runs over to Tom)
SpongeBob: Could you show me how to tie my shoes?
Tom: Uhh, fins? (points to his feet. SpongeBob runs to another customer)
SpongeBob: Could you show me how to tie my shoes?
Eel: Well I would but, sadly, I am only an eel. (wiggles her tail in front of SpongeBob's face. SpongeBob runs to Jellyfish Fields)
SpongeBob: Could any of you show me how to tie my laces? (jellyfish sting him. scene cuts to SpongeBob looking under a rock of leeches) Could you, you, you, you, or you show me how to tie a knot? (leaches run off. Scene cuts to SpongeBob looking into a cave) Could you show me how to tie a simple knot? (pair of eyes become multiple eyes and the monster eats SpongeBob. He notices a fisherman skeleton inside its mouth) Could you show me how to tie my shoes? (monster spits him out of its blow hole and onto the painting of Painty the Pirate) Could you show me how to tie my shoes?
Painty: Arr, I be just a painting of a head.
SpongeBob: Doesn't anybody know how to tie a knot? (lightning appears as well as the Flying Dutchman)
Flying Dutchman: Did somebody say knot?
SpongeBob: (eyes grow large) I did.
Flying Dutchman: So, you wanna tie knots, do ya? Well, do ya?
SpongeBob: Yes, please, Mr. Flying Dutchman, sir.
Flying Dutchman: Then you've come to the right flying ghost, kid. You're looking at the first place winner in the fancy knottin' contest for the last 3,000 years!
SpongeBob: Hooray! (floats up into the air and into a heart)
Flying Dutchman: (grabs SpongeBob) You're gonna have to not do that. And stop staring at me with them big old eyes! (SpongeBob's eyes shrink) Now, stand back and watch me be knotty. (laughs and pulls out a rope) Haha! Behold! (rope is in pretzel shape) The pretzel knot!
SpongeBob: Ohh. (Flying Dutchman makes the rope into 2 diamonds)
Flying Dutchman: The double-diamond knot! (holds the rope, now in the shape of a square, in front of SpongeBob) The square knot! (rope slithers over and squeezes SpongeBob) The constrictor. (Grabs SpongeBob and pulls him apart revealing a knot that looks like intestines) The gut knot! (Flying Dutchman makes a knot in the shape of a pillow) The pillow knot. (turns the knot over where SpongeBob is sleeping. Then he makes the knot into a butterfly) The butterfly knot.
SpongeBob: Ohh...
Flying Dutchman: Wait! There's more. (SpongeBob takes out a pen and paper and his glasses) The monkey chain! (shows the rope as a chain) The monkey's fist! (shows the rope into a ball) The monkey! (shows the rope as a monkey)
Monkey: Ohh, ohh!
Flying Dutchman: This one here's a loop knot, otherwise known as the 'poop loop'. (pulls the rope)
Rope: Poooop!
SpongeBob: (laughs) Those are great, Mr. Flying Dutchman, sir! Now can you show me how to tie my shoes?
Flying Dutchman: (laughs) I don't know how to tie me shoes. I haven't worn shoes for over 5,000 years! (holds a sock with two blue stripes up) But sometimes I like to wear this little sock over me ghostly tail. (laughs as he flies off. Scene cuts to SpongeBob crawling into his pineapple)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Not now, Gary.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I'm not in the mood, Gary.
Gary: Meow. Meow.
SpongeBob: (crawls into bed) Just leave me and me untied shoes alone. (Gary roars knocking SpongeBob off the bed and onto the floor) Okay, Gary. You have my attention.
Gary: Meow. (ties SpongeBob's shoes)
SpongeBob: (gasps) Gary! Well, I'll be. You can tie shoes! (Gary shows hes wearing shoes under his shell) Hoppin' clams! How did you learn to do that? (Gary opens up his shell and plays "Loop De Loop" by Ween on his record player)
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Wanna learn how to tie your shoe?
It's a very easy thing to do
Just sit on down and I'll give you the scoop
What's that? It's called the loop de loop

You gotta take a lace in each hand
You go over and under again
You make a loop de loop and pull
And your shoes are lookin' cool

You go over and back, left to right
Loop de loop and you pull 'em tight
Like bunny ears or a Christmas bow
Lace 'em up and you're ready to go

You make a loop de loop and pull
And your shoes are lookin' cool

You make a loop de loop and pull
And your shoes are lookin' cool
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End