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Tunnel of Glove

(At Glove World)
Pearl's friend #1: Pearl, come on! The line for Tunnel of Glove is filling up! This is gonna be so, totally, like, fun! (Pearl and her two friends run to Tunnel of Glove)
SpongeBob: Hey, Pearl!
(Pearl and friends stop and gasp)
Pearl: Barnacles. SpongeBob, why are you talking to me?
Pearl's friend #1: Is that your boyfriend?
SpongeBob: Well, I am a boy, and I am her friend. (Laughs)
Pearl's friend #1: (Puts SpongeBob next to Pearl) SpongeBob, stand here for a second.
(Pearl's friend #2 takes photo)
Pearl's friend #2: Just thought we should keep this moment for posterity. (Laughs)
Pearl's friend #1 and Pearl's friend #2: Pearl's got a boyfriend, Pearl's got a boyfriend!
Patrick: (To SpongeBob) I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
Pearl: Quiet! He is not my boyfriend!
Patrick: Well, that was fast. Don't worry, buddy, there's plenty of fish in the streetcar.
Pearl's friend #1: Anyway, let's go to the ride!
SpongeBob: Bye, Pearl! Tell Mr. Krabs I said "hi"! Let's bounce, Patrick. Patrick?
(Patrick is at a cotton candy stand eating cotton candy)
Patrick: Busy. I'll catch up with you later.
(In the Tunnel of Glove queue)
Attendant: Next. (Opens gate)
(Pearl's friends walk through)
Pearl's friend #1: Come on, Pearl!
Attendant: Sorry, only two per car. You'll have to wait for the next car. (Shouting) Any single riders come to the front!
(SpongeBob pushes his way to the front)
SpongeBob: Oh! I'm a single rider! 'Scuse me, pardon me, 'scuse me, pardon me, 'scuse me, pardon me. (To Pearl) After you, fellow single rider Pearl!
Pearl: Ugh.
(In the boat)
Announcement: Please keep your arms and legs inside at all times and do not leave the boat until the ride is over. Thank you.
SpongeBob: Um, Pearl? Your arm. It's outside the boat.
Pearl: I will put my arm in the boat, but don't touch me, don't talk to me, don't even look at me!
(SpongeBob salutes and zips his mouth and eyes closed. The boat enters the tunnel.)
Pearl: (Sighs) Boring!
Robot: Will my arrow find her heart?
Pearl: This ride is lame! (To SpongeBob) Hey! You're allowed to speak now.
(SpongeBob unzips his eyes and mouth)
SpongeBob: (Speaking quickly) I bet Mr. Krabs would get a kick out of this ride, don't you think? I mean, he's so tough on the outside but he's got a soft side, too. You know, this one time I was upset because my snail Gary was sick and he let me leave five minutes early, isn't that the sweetest thing you've ever heard? (Mouth turns into a megaphone and blabbers)
Narrator: Two very boring minutes later.
SpongeBob: And then there was that time that Mr. Krabs yelled at me for getting to work before he did and he didn't even dock my pay, what a sweet man.
Pearl: Gah! You are making this ride even more boring, if such a thing is possible! (Gets up)
SpongeBob: You're supposed to remain seated until the ride comes to a complete – (Is launched onto the ceiling and falls back down, knocking a decorative heart into the water) – stop.
(Heart sinks to the ride track and jams the gears. Boat stops.)
Pearl: What was that?
Announcement: Attention sweethearts. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please remain seated.
Pearl: Oh, great. Just great.
Narrator: Three hours later.
(Outside, a reporter is covering the story)
Perch Perkins: Breaking news. The Tunnel of Glove has turned into the Tunnel of Terror. Just hours ago the mechanism that controls the boats mysteriously stopped, trapping the doomed couple inside. We have the youths' friends here, who escaped the tunnel before tragedy befell the two sweethearts.
Pearl's friend #1: (Crying) It's true, we barely escaped with our lives! It was horrible!
Perch Perkins: And what was the name of your friend?
Pearl's friend #1: Pearl, and her boyfriend SpongeBob. (Giggles and walks away)
Perch Perkins: So there you have it. As time quickly runs out, still no word from the imperilled whale girl and SpongeBob.
(Patrick is sat at a table eating food. The news is being broadcast on a giant screen beside him.)
Patrick: Oh no! I'm out of coral on a stick. Time to chomp through the friend barnacles.
Perch Perkins: At this time, survival looks bleak for the little yellow sponge.
Patrick: Nooo, this is my worst nightmare! I don't have a drink!
Perch Perkins: (To Patrick) Hey! Doofus!
Patrick: Huh?
Perch Perkins: Your best buddy is trapped in the Tunnel of Glove and he may never escape!
Patrick: You mean SpongeBob?
(Cut to Patrick walking over the crowd to get to the Tunnel of Glove)
Patrick: I'm coming, SpongeBob!
Police officer: Hold it! No-one beyond this point.
Patrick: My best buddy is trapped in there, you've got to let me through!
Police officer: No can do, big guy. Too dangerous.
Patrick: Fine! (Walks to back of queue) Well, Mr. Police Guy won't let me in the front, huh? I'll just have to find my own way in.
(Cut to Patrick approaching Glove World Power Plant)
Patrick: Let's see, where could SpongeBob be? Aha! (Misreads sign) "Congratulations, you have found your friend". Oh, SpongeBob is right behind this door! I'm coming to get you, buddy! (Rams door with head) SpongeBob? Where -? Well, there you are! Hang in there, I'll pull you from your shackles. (Pulls electrical equipment from the wall and runs outside) You're OK now, buddy, go to your happy place.
(Inside the Tunnel of Glove, the lights go out. SpongeBob screams.)
Police officer: Don't worry, little girl, we're working as fast as we can.
Pearl: That wasn't me! That was SpongeBob!
Police officer: Thank you, little boy!
SpongeBob: Pearl, it's just the dark. Nothing scary about the dark. It's what's in the dark you've got to watch out for. Monsters, creeps, ghouls, clowns, witches, werewolves, clowns, crawly things, crawly clowns, those are the worst, the crawly clowns!
Pearl: Well whatever, SpongeBob. I'm going to find my way out. (Gets out of boat)
SpongeBob: Pearl, I wouldn't do that! You're not keeping your arms and legs inside the boat! Pearl, wait, I should probably accompany you, you know, in case there's anything in the darkness, lurking. (Follows her)
Pearl: Fine. After you.
SpongeBob: OK, I'll just fearlessly lead the way. (Walks into streamers) Aaah! Snakes! (Hides behind Pearl)
Pearl: Those are streamers, fool!
SpongeBob: (Climbs onto Pearl's head) Maybe I'll just stay up here. Keep an eye out for any other creepies.
Pearl: Oh, grow up, SpongeBob! (Tips him onto floor) There aren't any creepies, there aren't any crawlies, there aren't any snakes, so stop whining so we can look for a way out of here!
SpongeBob: OK, Pearl, you've made your point. I'll stop talking about ogres, and vampire batfish, and sharks and-
Pearl: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: And I won't talk about zombies!
Pearl: (Scared) SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Or ghostly pirates! Or laboratory creatures!
Pearl: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Or green beings from another planet.
Pearl: OK, SpongeBob, OK!
SpongeBob: Or bus drivers!
Pearl: That's enough! (Cries)
SpongeBob: Shh! Did you hear that?
Pearl: Now I'm scared, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: It sounds like a crawly wereclown.
Pearl: But there's no such thing!
SpongeBob: Oh, he's here.
(A cherub robot swings past them. They scream and return to the boat. It shoots a plunger at SpongeBob's head.)
(Back outside, Patrick is playing cribbage with the electrical equipment)
Patrick: Not another skunk! (Punches board) How did you beat me again?
(Electrician walks into power plant)
Patrick: Hey, you! You find it funny to lock up my friend? Hey, I am talking towards you!
Electrician: Did you see the dimwit who ripped this apart?
Patrick: I unfortunately have no idea who that dullard is. I do know that you kidnapped SpongeBob.
Electrician: I don't know about your friend, I'm just the electrician. (Fixes lights)
Patrick: Whoa. I see you are a magician. But that voodoo does not erase what you've done!
Electrician: You need to relax. Have a seat and cool off.
Patrick: Jeez, some people are so pushy. (Sits on lever)
Electrician: Just don't sit on the – LEVER! (Lever breaks) Now the ride is stuck in Dangerous Super Fast Mode!
Patrick: You told me to sit on it.
(Inside the ride, the boat starts moving)
SpongeBob: Aaah! What's that sound?
Pearl: I don't know! Hold me, SpongeBob!
(They scream as they enter a new area)
SpongeBob: Hey, the Hall of Great Romance.
(At the power plan)
Patrick: OK, OK, I think I heard you. I will not sit on anything else. I'll just gingerly lean on this wall. (Presses button) Huh?
Electrician: Nooooo!
(In the ride)
SpongeBob: Wow, how romantical.
Pearl: I imagined it bigger.
(Robot head explodes)
SpongeBob: Look, Pearl, a sweet, adorable cherub!
(Cherub's face explodes and shoots arrow at boat)
SpongeBob: Pearl, I don't think this is the Tunnel of Glove. It's the Tunnel of EVIL!
(Robots short out and turn evil)
SpongeBob: (Grabs onto Pearl, scared) Pearl?
(At the power plant)
Electrician: Stupid kid.
(Patrick walks up to him holding a newspaper)
Patrick: Nice facilities. Great water pressure.
Electrician: (Sees that Patrick came out of the pumping station) Neptune's mother!
(In the ride)
SpongeBob: What's that noise? (Wave of water carries them through the ride)
(Outside)
Police officer: She's gonna blow!
(Ride explodes, leaving Pearl and SpongeBob exposed in the boat)
Pearl: I guess that turned out to be kind of fun.
SpongeBob: Yeah.
Pearl's friend #1: (Laughing) SpongeBob is your boyfriend!
Pearl: (Pushes SpongeBob off of her lap) Ew! How many times do I have to say it? Ew, gross!
Pearl's friend #1: Oh, don't deny it. You were totally hugging him! And everyone knows that totally means he's totally your boyfriend!
(Robot clown crawls out of the rubble)
Crawly clown: Howdy, kids!
SpongeBob: Aaah! Crawly clown, crawly clown! (Grabs Pearl's friends and they scream. Pearl takes a photo.)
Pearl: You understand, girls. For posterity. (Laughs)
(Meanwhile, Patrick is eating with the electrical equipment)
Patrick: (Points to food) You gonna finish that?
End