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SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One

Patrick: I think surfboards like waves.
(SpongeBob and Patrick wave at a surfboard at Goo Lagoon and laugh.)
(SpongeBob and Patrick are dressed as cowboys on seahorses.)
SpongeBob: Let's ride into the sunset, Patrick!
(They ride off, and then return, charred and running.)
Both: Hot sunset! Hot sunset!
(The phone rings at SpongeBob's pineaple. SpongeBob bangs his fist at the table, which sends the reciever into his hand.)
SpongeBob: SquarePants residence.
Announcer: Congrats, SpongeBob, you won the Kid's Choice Awards!
SpongeBob: Did I win for best Krabby Patty?
Announcer: Uhh... Sure, we'll go with that.
(Outside the Chum Bucket, Plankton stands on top of a soap box to make himself look taller.)
Plankton: I, Plankton, with my superior intellect, devised a plan to conquer the Krusty Krab once and for all. If people won't come to the Chum Bucket, I will bring the Chum Bucket to the people! Behold, the receptrical of your doom, Mr. Krabs! Wait, this isn't...
(Hits the side of a glass and we see that he's in a water glass. A live-action waiter gives the glass to a lady on a sofa.)
Plankton: Oof! Mommy!
Waiter: Your water, Sabrina.
(She spits it out.)
Sabrina: Eww, who put sea monkeys in my drink!
(She pours it out and Plankton screams.)
Sabrina: What was that? Do you hear that?
(A hot day at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is so steamed he can't finish his mopping. His foot abosorbs some of the mopwater, which he sweats back out again. Squidward is sweating and breathing heavily.)
Squidward: (Weakly) If it gets any hotter in here, we're going to have to put fried calamari on the menu.
(His tentacles are steamed.)
SpongeBob: (Weakly) It's a good thing that new ceiling fan Mr. Krabs installed is still working.
(The fan turns slightly.)
Mr. Krabs: Were you talking to me, Squidward?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs...?
(Mumbles.)
Mr. Krabs: Ooh! Good Lord, boy! Don't sneak up on me like that!
SpongeBob: Sorry, Mr. Krabs, it's just the fan...
Mr. Krabs: You're not wearing shoes, lad! You're not going section 8 on me, are ya?
SpongeBob: I was wearing them; I-it's so hot they melted off.
Mr. Krabs: Melted off?
Squidward: The fan stopped working.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you didn't forget to pay the power bill again, did you?
Mr. Krabs: Of course not! Just fan yourself off with this junk mail I keep finding in me mail box.
(He hands him a sheet that says "Power Bill". Over it is stamped, "Final Notice: Pay on or Before Sunday", "Due: $9,000,000 Immediately" and then "Failure".)
Mr. Krabs: That reminds me. Where are all me customers?
Squidward: Probably out enjoying this day where it was meant to be enjoyed.
Mr. Krabs: Uhh... Could you be a little more specific?
Squidward: They're at the beach.
Mr. Krabs: Boys, I forgot to tell you-- Close up shop, we're going to the beach today!
(SpongeBob rips off his SquarePants to reveal a swimsuit, innertube, waterwings and snorkel. Cut to the Goo Lagoon, where it has a sign that says "Goo Lagoon a.k.a the Beach". Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob and Squidward are out on the sea on a surfboard, along with the grill and cash register.)
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy there! I'm Eugene Krabs! And I was wondering if I could interest you in a fresh, dee-licious Krabby Patty!
Surfer #1: Woah...
Mr. Krabs: Hot off the grill.
Surfer #1: Are they free?
Mr. Krabs: Yes... Today they're only... "Free" dollars each!
(Holds up 3 fingers.)
Surfer #1: Well, sounds great, but I left my wallet up on the sand.
Squidward: I told you!
Sandy: (Offscreen) YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...
(Sandy drifts into view on a surfboard.)
SpongeBob: What..?
Sandy: ...HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW!!! I love the beach!
SpongeBob: Oh! That noise was Sandy!
(Laughs.)
Sandy: Uh-oh! Looks like some big waves a-comin'!
Squidward: Who are you?
Mr. Krabs: Either buy a patty or get off me wave.
Sandy: Cowabunga!
(Paddles off.)
Squidward: What next?
(Patrick comes out of the water with a noseplug on.)
SpongeBob: Aloha, Patrick!
Mr. Krabs: Hey, there, young feller! How'd you like to be our first customer in over 17 working days!?!
Patrick: I'd love to!
Mr. Krabs: Great! Squidward! Show him the menu!
(Squidward holds it up, uninspired.)
Squidward: Meh.
Patrick: I can't quite see it from here. I'll just have to climb on board!
(SpongeBob laughs hysterically.)
SpongeBob: That's a good one, Patrick! On board!
(Patrick tries to climb on, rocking the surfboard.)
Mr. Krabs: Careful! You're gonna capsize us!
Patrick: Almost up!
Squidward: You idiot!
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out!
(Sandy is riding towards them on a huge wave.)
Sandy: Locals only!
Patrick: What did she say?
(The wave falls over all of them and they all fly in all different directions.)
Sandy: Wipe oooooouuuuuutttt!!!
(Flies off into the air. Mr. Krabs lands and settles at another side of the sea, still clutching his cash register.)
Mr. Krabs: W-w-where'd the beach go? These waters are calm. Too calm.
(Clouds roll in.)
Mr. Krabs: Black skies?
(Red liquid shoots up out from the water like an underwater volcano.)
Mr. Krabs: Waterspouts of blood!
(Donuts rain into the water.)
Mr. Krabs: Jelly filled donuts falling from the sky? There can be only one logical explanation-- I've landed right in the middle of Dutchman's Triangle...!
(The Flying Dutchman's menacing theme plays, as heard since "ScaredyPants".)
Mr. Krabs: ...Right above Davy Jones' Locker...
(The music plays again.)
Mr. Krabs: ...In the Devil's Galley.
(The music plays once more. Meanwhile, SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward wash up on the shore of an island with a surfboard-shaped mountain, where a bunch of castaway surfer dude fish look on.)
Surfer #2: Guys, look.
(SpongeBob is picking up seaweed on the sand.)
Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing with that seaweed?
SpongeBob: Oh, just dragging it around.
(A green fish with shaggy blonde hair and a sharktooth necklace, wearing a towel, approaches the three.)
Surfer #2: Hey there, hodads.
SpongeBob: Huh?
Surfer #2: Welcome to our remote island.
SpongeBob: Island!?!
Squidward: Island!?!
(Patrick is asleep and only snores.)
Surfer #2: That's right, kemosabe, island. Although sometimes we refer to it as, the... Island.
SpongeBob: We were just in the Goo Lagoon selling Krabby Patties and this big wave hit us! Now we're on this island?
Surfer #2: The ocean works in mysterious ways.
Surfer #3: And waves.
Surfer #2: Mysterious waves.
Surfers and Patrick: Hummmm...
SpongeBob: How did you guys get here?
Surfer #2: Oh, we've been here since we dropped out of junior college. This is Awesome Eddie...
(Points to a tall green fish with brown hair.)
Surfer #2: ...Big G...
(Motions to a fat green fish with a lot of facial hair, then a bald orange fish with messed up teeth.)
Surfer #2: ...Chip...
Chip: Hi.
Surfer #2: ...and Silent Stan.
(Shows them a yellow fish with lips that are sucked into his mouth.)
Surfer #2: ...And I'm Twitch.
SpongeBob: Why do they call you Twitch?
(Twitch has a short convulsion.)
Twitch: What?
SpongeBob: Nevermind.
(Cut to the 8 in a little Hawaiian hut with a red roof and surfing posters all over the inside. They are all surrounding a fire.)
SpongeBob: So, what did you say this house was made of again?
Twitch: Guano.
Squidward: Oh, great.
SpongeBob: Well, it's been fun hanging out with you guys, but Mr. Krabs didn't give us the day off, so we'd better be going back to Goo Lagoon.
Twitch: Dude, you're miles from that tourist trap now.
Awesome Eddie: Yeah, the only way back is to surf.
SpongeBob: Only way back...? Surfing...? Aaaahhhh!!! I don't know how to surf!!!
Twitch: Woah, chill out, little dude, we can teach you!
SpongeBob: Cool.
(Cut to a montage of Twitch teaching Spongebob and Patrick to surf, narrated by surfing legend Bruce Brown.)
Bruce Brown: (Voiceover) Ahh... Learning how to surf. For some it comes as easily as eating an ice cream cone on a hot day. To others, well... It comes like eating an ice cream cone on a cold day.
(SpongeBob and Patrick take bites out of their surfboards.)
Bruce Brown: (Voiceover) Sometimes, in surfing, it's the approach that's most important.
(SpongeBob and Patrick throw their boards into a wave, which shoots them back out onto the beach. The two, along with the rest of the surfers, flee to avoid being hit.)
Bruce Brown: (Voiceover) And sometimes, it's the retreat. Once in a lifetime, that perfect wave comes along. Not too big, not too small. And the surfer has to act fast...
Twitch: Go!
Bruce Brown: (Voiceover) ...Or he's bound to miss the ride of his life.
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Wanna see something cool?
Patrick: You bet!
SpongeBob: Down here!
(The two go underwater, or rather, under the goo, and SpongeBob pulls something out of his pocket.)
SpongeBob: See? It's a picture of Squidward.
Patrick: Wow.
(They miss the wave.)
Bruce Brown: (Voiceover) But all in all, in life, it's not whether we win or lose, but rather if we get totally stoked.
(SpongeBob and Patrick dance around two surfboards. Cut to Twitch leading SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward back to the hut. Chip and Awesome Eddie are playing the tambourine and bongos, respectively, outside.)
Twitch: Well, dudes, I give up. These hodads are impossible to teach!
(He twitches.)
Twitch: Especially the one on the left.
(Squidward is soaking wet with a piece of seaweed draped over his head. Big G coughs violently, as if to speak.)
Awesome Eddie: What's that?
(He coughs again.)
Awesome Eddie: Aw, no, there's no way, dude, he'd never do it!
(Big G continues to cough.)
SpongeBob: What's he saying?
Twitch: He's reminding us that there's one dude who could possibly teach you. If you can find him.
SpongeBob: Who?
Twitch: His name...
(He twitches again.)
Twitch: ...Is Jack Kahuna Laguna, or JKL for short.
Surfers: Amen.
Twitch: We say that legend says that JKL was last seen up the river at the KahmamCove, where every wave is perfect.
(Patrick raises his hand.)
Patrick: Will there be nachos there?
(Cut to SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward on surfboards on the river, with the surfers on the riverbank.)
SpongeBob: Thanks again for letting us borrow these surfboards, Twitch.
Twitch: No problem. And just keep following the river straight up until you hit Kahmamoku Cove. You can't miss it.
SpongeBob: How far upstream did you say it was?
Twitch: Well, we don't know because we've never, ever been there.
Awesome Eddie: We're deathly afraid of this river and wouldn't even set foot in it if you paid us.
Twitch: Yeah, interpret that any way you want.
(Cut to another island with 3 volcanoes, located opposite the island SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward are on, across Dutchman's Triangle. It's raining, and Sandy comes to, apparantly after passing out.)
Sandy: Where am I?
(The sun comes out.)
Sandy: Where is everybody!?! I'm stranded. SpongeBob, where are you?
(Cut back to the other island, where SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward float down the river on surfboards, and a song plays in the background. SpongeBob admires the scenery, and Patrick takes pictures, while Squidward just looks bored.)


--------------------------------------------

I'll make a beeline
For the treeline
Getting back to nature
Always does me good

I'll make a beeline
For the treeline
And I just cant' wait
To get back in the woods

And when I need to close my eyes
And dream about a quiet mountain stream
That's when I make a beeline
For the treeline

When I make a beeline
For the treeline

--------------------------------------------

(They go over a waterfall, and reemerge, laughing. Then, they float out of a tunnel formed by the tropical tree canopies.)
SpongeBob: Could we pull over here for a second? I gotta tie my shoe.
Squidward: Again?
(SpongeBob gets off at the riverbank, drops his board and goes into the bushes. There, he sees a sign that says "Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove, Home of JKL, ESD".)
SpongeBob: (Reading) "Welcome to Kahmamoku Cove"! JKL!
(He motions to the others.)
SpongeBob: Guys! Guys! I found the cove!
(Later, the three walk through the rainforest, holding their surfboards.)
Squidward: I bet this guy won't even be here, if he's anything like that last group of dirty dropouts.
SpongeBob: Oh, don't worry, Squidward, he'll be here!
Squidward: How do you know? You've never even seen him!
SpongeBob: Squidward, you have got to stop judging people by the way they look.
(Closeup of SpongeBob, with crooked teeth, hairy arms & upper lip, and pimples all over, plus leaves and worms from being in the forest.)
Squidward: You're right.
(They reach the beach and Patrick points to a lone grass hut, with beads strung on the doorway and windows, and a bamboo windchime outside.)
Patrick: Look!
SpongeBob: It's him!
(Squidward sighs, bored, as a bit of surfboard emerges from the hut. Then more, and more, until it is ridiculously long.)
Squidward: Oh, my...
(He faints. Then, a buff, tan fish with blonde hair, a dolphin necklace, a stubble and torn jean shorts emerges from the hut.)
SpongeBob: It's JKL...
(A divine light shines on him.)
SpongeBob: Hail, oh, great swami of the gnarly pounders. We seek audience with thee.
Patrick: Plus, we wanna talk to you.
SpongeBob: Will you teach us how to surf, oh great one, so that we may get back home?
(Silence. A chilly wind blows past.)
Squidward: Look, surf boy! Are you going to teach us how to surf, or are we just gonna stand here and stare at you all day?
Patrick: I kinda like staring at him.
(Jack leaps to the ocean, riding a wave perfectly in the sunset, with dolphins jumping out and chirping from behind.)
SpongeBob: I've never seen anything so beautiful, have you, Patrick?
Patrick: Not since I saw my first triple-layer cheesecake.
(JKL comes back from the goo sea, soaking wet.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: That was your first lesson.
(He resigns back to his hut.)
Squidward: What, you call that a lesson? We just stood here and watched you surf for two and a half hours!
(He taps his foot. Then, he hears the sound of bongos from behind him. He turns, and it's Jack Kahuna Laguna playing them.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: Just keep breathin'.
(Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs has grown a beard and is sitting on half a surfboard with his cash register, going crazy and mumbling to himself.)
Mr. Krabs: Locusts... Collary!
(Two baby clams float by and Krabs puts them on the cash register as well as a seaweed wig. The cashier is taking the place of Wilson in cast Away.)
Mr. Krabs: Look, Cashy! Earings! Well, Cashy, I guess the Devil's Galley isn't so bad afterall. As longs as the Flying Dutchman doesn't appear and put us in Davy Jone's Locker! But there's no chance of that happening, is there, Cashy?
(He pats Cashy's "head", and in the process, the cash drawer flies out and hits the Flying Dutchman on the forehead.)
Mr. Krabs: Aaahhh!!! It's the Flying Dutchman!!!
The Flying Dutchman: Aaahhh!!! Some guy I've never seen before!
(Krabs startles the Dutchman, causing him to drop his groceries he had in his arms.)
The Flying Dutchman: Arrgh! Who be disturbin' the Flying Dutchman's walk home from the convenience store? You've even spilt me milk!
Mr. Krabs: Well, there ain't no use cryin' over it!
(He angers the Flying Dutchman, causing lightning to appear.)
Mr. Krabs: Aw, don't worry, Cashy! I'll protect ye!
(Cut back to the island at night. SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward surround a campfire.)
SpongeBob: Isn't Jack Kahuna Laguna the most totally awesome surf guru, Squidward?
Squidward: I don't know about you two, but I'd like to get out of here at some point! And his idea of teaching us is...
(JKL appears with his bongos again.)
Squidward: Oh, wonderful.
SpongeBob: Quiet, Squidward! I think we're about to recieve another lesson!
(Jack starts playing, while the three look on in awe. He stops for a short while, then he throws his head back and continues very quickly before stopping again.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: Just keep breathin'.
(He goes back into hit hut once again. SpongeBob and Patrick look amazed, but Squidward is irritated.)
Squidward: That's it!?! I just wanna go home!
SpongeBob: Would it make you feel better if I went and talked to him?
(He gets up and dusts himself off.)
Squidward: Oh, thank you! Thank you, SpongeBob!
(SpongeBob walks offscreen and then returns not one second later.)
Squidward: Well? Did you talk to him?
SpongeBob: Yup.
Squidward: And...?
SpongeBob: He said, we just have to stare into this fire all night, and the secrets will be revealed.
Squidward: We're gonna be stuck here forever!
(Cut to Sandy's island. She puts some wood on a burning fire.)
Sandy: Well, Sandy, using only your bare hands and the resources you've found on this island, you have not only survived, but thrived! You built a 5-star hotel...
(We see a luxury hotel build out of bamboo with an acorn flag on top.)
Sandy: ...A steam-powered generator...
(She has a log with turning gears and smoke emmiting from a bamboo pipe.)
Sandy: ...A car that runs on coconut milk...
(We see a grass car with wooden wheels.)
Sandy: ...And even an espresso bar.
(We see a wooden cafe with a straw umbrella table outside.)
Sandy: I almost don't wanna leave, but I miss Bikini Bottom. Now I can find SpongeBob and the gang and fly us right back!
(We see a grass thatch helicopter with bamboo propellers. Sandy flips on the ignition, and places a headset on.)
Sandy: Acorn 1 to tower. Request clearance.
Air Traffic Control: Roger, Acorn 1, you are clear for takeoff.
(Sandy flies past a radio tower, and storm clouds roll in. Meanwhile, the Flying Dutchman and Mr. Krabs are still fighting.)
Mr. Krabs: Please, Mr. Dutchman! I didn't mean to spill your groceries!
The Flying Dutchman: Well, normally I wouldn't mind, but I'm a little low on cash this month. I have no way to pay for more. Unless you have some money I can borrow.
Mr. Krabs: No, I-- Cashy! Please! Cashy is the closest thing to a friend I've ever had!
(They each tug back and forth on the cash register. The Flying Dutchman's rage causes a storm to start brewing. Back in Kahmamoku Cove, Squidward wakes up to the tide washing seaweed onto his head. He walks over to SpongeBob and Patrick, both insanely tired, looking at the fire.)
Squidward: Please tell me you two didn't stare at that fire all night.
SpongeBob & Patrick: (Exhausted) OK...
Squidward: Alright, I'm done!
(He storms over to JKL's hut.)
Squidward: Hey, Blondie! Teach me how to surf so I can go home, or I'm gonna...
Jack Kahuna Laguna: You obviously didn't stare into the fire all night like your friends over there.
(He points to SpongeBob and Patrick, who are now asleep.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: Those two are gonna make awesome surfers.
(The storm reaches the island, and it is huge. Jack Kahuna Laguna darts off into the forest.)
SpongeBob: Where is he going? Come on!
(They chase after him and climb up the side of a cliff. SpongeBob screams because the thunder and lightning hurts his ears.)
Patrick: Look! He's on top of that big drinking fountain!
(He points to some sort of Aztec temple, or a Mayan pyramid. The three climb up to the top, where JKL stands, his hands lifted to the sky.)
SpongeBob: JKL! Is this the next part of our training?
(Jack turns around, with wide eyes, scaring the others.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: These clouds... They can only mean one thing.
Patrick: Increased chance of precipitation?
(There is a clap of thunder. Then, it starts to drizzle.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: ...Yes.
(It starts to rain harder, pouring now.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: Every thousand years or so, the planets align in such a way that the perfect wave is formed.
SpongeBob: A perfect wave?
(JKL speaks, the camera panning in on his face with each sentence.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: The world's most biggest. Fastest. Longest. Gnarliest. Most totally awesome, perfect wave. They call it...
(His eyes widen again.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: ...The Big One.
Patrick: Hey, that's what they used to call me!
Jack Kahuna Laguna: It's probably the only wave big enough for you to ride all the way to Bikini Bottom. You'll have to catch it. Or you'll be stuck here.... Forever.
(There is another lightning strike.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: The Big One... Is almost upon us.
(Mr. Krabs and the Dutchman are still fighting over the register.)
Mr. Krabs: Please, please Mr. Dutchman! Let Cashy go! I promise I'll never soil your waters again!
(The storm lightens a little.)
The Flying Dutchman: You promise?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes! I promise on my dear Aunt Sally's false teeth.
The Flying Dutchman: LIAR!!!
(The rain is now back, with more force than ever. Crows circle the skies, and a huge, pitch black cloud is formed)
Mr. Krabs: What?
The Flying Dutchman: Your Aunt Sally doesn't wear false teeth.
Mr. Krabs: How do you know?
The Flying Dutchman: Because I dated her in high school!
Mr. Krabs: (Gasp) Nooo!!!
(The two let go of the cash register and it flies into the sky.)
The Flying Dutchman: Oops!
Sandy: This weather sure is dangerous! I'd better be careful!
(The cash register smashes through the helicopter's window, breaking it.)
Sandy: May day, may day! I'm going down! Repeat-- down!!!
(A little bit further away, the Flying Dutchman is still threatening Krabs.)
The Flying Dutchman: And now, just to make sure this doesn't happen again, I'm gonna send you on a journey to the--
(The helicopter hits Dutchie on the back of the head.)
The Flying Dutchman: OW!!!
Mr. Krabs: Uhh... Where is that, exactly?
(The Dutchman tips over backwards and sinks to the bottom of the goo ocean.)
Sandy: Mayday!!!
(The helicopter flies off into the distance uncontrollably and Mr. Krabs resurfaces.)
Mr. Krabs: Ooh, all alone again...
(Cashy bobs up in the goo.)
Mr. Krabs: Cashy!
(Meanwhile, the Flying Dutchman has sunk to the ocean floor. A sock lands on his face.)
The Flying Dutchman: What the...? A tube sock? Well, that means...
(We see Davy Jones of the Monkees there with him. In the background are undersea mountains with seaweed coming off them in the distance, and in the foreground of the seascape is Davy Jones' Locker, a hamper of socks, using the Davy Jones' Locker sock joke like in "Born Again Krabs".)
Davy Jones: Yeah, that's right, baby! You're in my locker!
(Laughs.)
The Flying Dutchman: Ohh...
Davy Jones: For a daydream believer, and a homecoming queen!
(He laughs again and starts throwing socks into the Flying Dutchman's face while "Daydream Believer" -The Monkees plays.)

--------------------------------------------

Cheer up, sleepy jean,
Oh, what can it mean,
To a daydream believer,
And a homecoming queen.


--------------------------------------------

(Meanwhile, Jack Kahuna Laguna is looking at the wave through binoculars.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: Get ready, dudes, it's coming.
SpongeBob: JKL? Thanks for teaching us how to surf.
Jack Kahuna Laguna: Little dude, I didn't teach you anything you didn't already know.
Squidward: Here it comes!
SpongeBob: Well, JKL, I guess this is goodbye.
Jack Kahuna Laguna: Wait, there's something I forgot to tell you. In return for its awesomeness, the Big One always demands a sacrifice. One of you will not return.
Squidward: ...I volunteer SpongeBob.
(Cut to them paddling out to the wave on their boards.)
SpongeBob: Keep paddling, Patrick!
Patrick: This wind feels like broken glass mixed with razor blades!
(The wave towers over them.)
SpongeBob: It's the Big One!!!
(It develops a face, laughs, and grabs Patrick's surfboard.)
Patrick: Noo!!!
(It puts salt on the board and eats it.)
Patrick: Hey, I was gonna eat that!
SpongeBob: Patrick, grab on!
(He holds out his hand and Patrick climbs on his board. Squidward screams and also hops on the same surfboard.)
SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward!
(They start riding the wave.)
SpongeBob: This is it!
Patrick: Time for those lessons to pay off!
(Squidward points.)
Squidward: Look! That's Mr. Krabs down there!
(Mr. Krabs is stil carressing his cash register.)
Mr. Krabs: You like it when I comb your hair, don't you, Cashy?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, hop on or you'll be stuck here forever!
Mr. Krabs: Who said that?
(Krabs goes under.)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!!! I never got a chance to tell him that I--
Jack Kahuna Laguna: (Offscreen) Looking for this?
(JKL is surfing next to the three with Mr. Krabs and Cashy.)
SpongeBob: JKL! And Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: And Cashy!
(SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward clap as JKL puts Mr. Krabs on their surfboard, but Krabs drops Cashy into the wave.)
Mr. Krabs: Cashy!!!
(Jack dives in to rescue the register.)
SpongeBob: JKL!!! NOO!!!
Jack Kahuna Laguna: Little dude, I was born to do this.
(He winks and waves goodbye as the wave swallows him up and burps.)
Squidward: I guess the Big One prefers a high protein meal.
Patrick: Now what're we gonna do?
(Sponge plays the bongos just like JKL taught him, and the clouds part and JKL's image appears in the sky. Meanwhile, at Goo Lagoon, some fish are relaxing, but Sandy's helicopter is coming towards them.)
Fish #1 (Nat): Do you hear a noise?
(The dodge just in time as Sandy's chopper crashes onto the shore.)
Lifeguard: Everybody, look! A UFO!
Fish #2 (Gus): A spaceman!
(A fish comes up with a pitchfork aimed at Sandy.)
Fish #3 (Harold): Don't make any funny moves, spaceman. You're not conquering our world without a fight!
Sandy: I'm not a spaceman, you dunderhead! I'm Sandy! SpongeBob's friend...?
(The crowd slowly deterriorates with mumbling.)
Sandy: Shucks. Now I'll never find SpongeBob and Patrick.
Fish #4: Who?
Sandy: My friends. They went surfing, and never returned.
Fish #4: Is one of them like a little square dude with big teeth?
Sandy: You some kind of mind-reader?
Fish #4: No.
(He points to the four, who walk up to the beach.)
All: Welcome home!!!
(There is suddenly a party, with a "Welcome Home" banner up. Everyone in Bikini Bottom is there, including Gary, Larry, Pearl, Sandy and the surfers from the island.)
SpongeBob: Hey, Twitch!
(Twitch, um, twitches.)
Twitch: Grab a guitar, dude! Let's party!
(Big G coughs into the microphone and they all start playing a song on thier guitars.)
Patrick: I love this song!
(Krabs laughs. Everyone dances, and Sandy dances with Gary.)
Sandy: Wheee!!!
Squidward: Look!
(He points at JKL who washes on shore on his extremely long surfboard.)
SpongeBob: JKL!
(Everyone cheers.)
Jack Kahuna Laguna: Just keep breathin'.
(JKL hands Mr. Krabs Cashy.)
Mr. Krabs: Cashy!
(He kisses it and they all go back to dancing. Chip plays a saxophone solo.)
SpongeBob: Crank it up, Chip!
End