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The Inmates of Summer

(open up at Bikini Bottom Dock & Shipyard, where some boyscout looking children are about to go on a trip to somewhere. Spongebob has a bunch of luggage with him. Spongebob touches his stuff twice with his index finger)
Patrick: Spongebob! (he runs onto the dock where Spongebob is) Spongebob! (falls into the water the comes out in front of Spongebob) Spongebob! You forgot to tell me you were leaving! (both start to get teary-eyed)
Spongebob: Well Patrick, I guess... (both start crying and hugging each other)
Patrick: I'm gonna miss you, buddy!
Spongebob: Me too, Patrick, me too! (the campers start singing while boarding a boat with a sign that says "Camp Sun-N-Fun or Bust". The boat leaves and another, different, boat comes up to the dock)
Spongebob: Oh Patrick, if I had only known how hard not saying goodbye could be... (gets an idea)
Patrick: Well, see you later, bud... (Spongebob interrupts)
Spongebob: Patrick, that's it! You can come with me to summer camp! Then I'd never have to say goodbye!
Patrick: Summer camp? But I'm not even ready yet!
Spongebob: How about now?
Patrick: Yep. (cut to Spongebob and Patrick bringing some luggage over to the Warden)
Spongebob: (to the Warden) This stuff is just my carry-on, quarter. The rest of my things are right over there. (Spongebob points to where they are as the Warden gets angry-eyed. Spongebob tosses his stuff to the Warden and so does Patrick. Both run in the vessel)
Patrick: Whee, haha!
Spongebob: Oh and quarter, thanks! (tosses a quarter at the Warden. The Warden burns a hole through the coffin with his eyes. Then he throws the luggage into the water and walks into the ship. The ship sails through fog. Then the other boat that Spongebob was supposed to be on rides the opposite way)
Spongebob: Boy, that looked like a boring boat to be on, huh guys? (looks back at the prisoners smiling at them but all the prisoners are unhappy) Guys? (lightning strikes as the boat comes to a small island with a fortress on top. A door opens and slams. The warden walks over to the line of prisoners and turns to face them)
Warden: Welcome to Inferno Island!
Spongebob & Patrick: Yay!
Warden: What in the seven seas just insulted my ear drum? Could that had been an unrequested sound-off? Well, it must had been my imagination! And you can all thank your lucky stars that I have a very active imagination! Because it so happens that it is my sworn duty to think of fun things to do with the trash that society has thrown away!
Spongebob: (whispers to Patrick) I always prefer to recycle. (everyone chuckles except Warden)
Warden: Holy fishpaste! We got ourselves a couple of "rabble rousers". What's your name, son?
Spongebob: Spongebob Squarepants! (He says it very happily.)
Warden: And are you a rabble rouser?
Spongebob: (chuckles) Funny you should ask... once I...
Warden: Well I hope you aren't, because you sure look mighty tasty and it's too soon after breakfast for me to want to chew somebody's head off!
Patrick: (whispers to Spongebob) Actually, I am a little hungry.
Warden: Hungry? (looks back at his partner) Barney, fetch these two poor hungry souls a snack. On the double! (Barney comes back with 2 tires and throws them in front of Spongebob and Patrick. They then begin to eat all the tire)
Prisoner #1: Oh, these guys are tough. (Spongebob and Patrick have full bellies)
Patrick: The food coma is setting in.
Spongebob: Yeah. I could use a nap.
Warden: Did you say a nap?! Well, I know the perfect place for you two to go digest that meal. (both Spongebob & Patrick smile. Cut to them in a small rectangular hole) A couple days in the hole never hurt anybody. (closes the lid to the hole)
Spongebob: This camp is very upscale! (3 prisoners are carrying a tub labeled "chum" towards the hole. Then they dump it in)
Patrick: I had no idea that they had a hot tub!
Narrator: 3 days later.
Warden: Alright, let them out! Now pay attention, worms. Watch the way they crawl out on their bellies, begging for mercy, and see what's waiting for you, next time you foul up to same way these two did! (Warden notices a smiling Spongebob and Patrick, but bloated and stinky)
Spongebob: It was quite an enjoyable soap, but it wasn't until this guy got thirsty and decided to drink the bath water!
Patrick: Not bad! Except for this aftertaste. (Patrick's breath floats over to the Warden and prisoners. The prisoners are in disgust)
Warden: Shut your traps, all of ya. Because of that little outburst, I am going to treat you all to an activity so heart-wrenchingly boring and physically exhausting, that it is guaranteed to render your souls broken beyond repair!
Spongebob & Patrick: Yay! (cut to prisoners and Spongebob & Patrick mining the rocks)
Spongebob: This is a pretty fun camp game, huh Patrick?
Patrick: Yeah!
Spongebob: It's made it even more fun and challenging by the fact that we're wearing these heavy ankle weights. (cut to bedtime)
Warden: Good night, ladies! (Spongebob pats his pillow but then picks it up and notices it's flat and throws it aside)
Patrick: What's wrong, Spongebob? (Patrick is on the bottom bunk while Spongebob is on the top)
Spongebob: The other campers just aren't having as much fun as you and me.
Patrick: If only we could think of some sort group activity that we can all do together, then we'd all be having the same amount of fun as each other. (Patrick rolls over) Good night. (Spongebob gets an idea)
Spongebob: That's it! We'll show him we can be self-starters! (cut to Spongebob typing a script on a typewriter late at night. When he finishes, he slips each piece of paper under the Warden's door. Now it's the next morning)
Warden: Rise and shine! (everyone lines up) Now, which one of you vile, low-down, vile miserable wretched swine left this pathetic, worthless, horror and meaningless... (Breathes deeply.)
Spongebob: (Spongebob then raises his right arm, and points with one finger up.) Uh... abomination?
Warden: Who said that?
Spongebob: Me, sir!
Warden: What is the meaning of this thing?
Spongebob: It's a play, for our amusement, and inspiration! (Warden gets an intriguing look upon his face)
Warden: Hmmm...of course. Well then, I'll watch your play, and I will enjoy every act of your pathetic, meaningless, ridiculous production. You know why?
Guard: Uhh...because you cherish the fine art of thespianism?
Warden: No! Because this will be the last act you will ever perform in your pathetic lives! So, get to it! And I better be truly entertained!
Spongebob: Cool! (cut to two prisoners and Spongebob & Patrick working)
Prisoner #2: Kid's wasting his time.
Spongebob: All done! (zoom out to see it's a ferry)
Prisoner #2: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Prisoner #3: Hmmm...
Prisoner #2: It's a boat, you simpleton! What do boats do?
Prisoner #3: Ummm... make smoke?
Prisoner #2: No! (slaps him) You knucklehead! They float, away from this island with all of us on board! (every prisoner gets into a huddle) Now, here's the plan... (they start whispering then turn towards Spongebob and Patrick) Hey, buddy, need some help?
Spongebob: Really?
Prisoner #2: Sure!
Narrator: Opening Night... (the warden and two guards sit in seats waiting for the play to start. The red curtain raises up. Spongebob is on the boat with a telescope)
Spongebob: Aye, four jibs-men. What forces blow the merry winds of Galilee?
Prisoner #2: (the prisoners are waiting behind the red curtain for their cue) Get ready!
Prisoner #4: Huh? Oh.




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'Tis we here to sing a song of maritime com-rah-der-ree.
Together!
Together! (together!)
Together! (together!)
Together! (together!)

Like a boat upon the sea!! (together!)
In happy camaraderie! (together!)
That's the way it oughta be (together!)
Just you and you and you you and me (together!)
Together! (together!)
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(curtain goes down. The Warden and the guards are now clapping with joy. Roses are thrown on stage. Warden starts sobbing)
Warden: I had never seen anything so beautiful in my...my... (sobs while he hugs the guards)
Prisoner #2: Ok, let's do it! (they start to sail away)
Spongebob: Uh...hey guys! What are you doing?
Prisoner #2: We're breaking out of here, that's what! Escaping! Oh, and thanks for the convincing stagecraft.
Warden: (still sobbing and clapping) Encore! Encore! Encore! Do it again! (curtain raises and shows Spongebob and Patrick standing there while the other prisoners are escaping in the boat) What the...?! (the boat begins to sink)
Prisoner #2: Turn this boat around! (boat sinks. The prisoners shout indistinctly. Spongebob and Patrick turn around and bow. Cut to all the prisoners in cuffs at their feet. The Warden is pacing back and forth)
Warden: I'm stuffed. I can't even begin to imagine a punishment appropriate for what has happened here tonight! Words cannot attempt to describe the disgusting, vile, the-the-the complete disregard for the story tradition of musical theater. So, starting this very moment, every one of you sub-protozoas will be sentenced to...
Camp Counselor: Ahoy, hello? (Warden looks through some binoculars to see a fish with a suit like Spongebob's on in a raft) Yoo-hoo!
Warden: What in the name of...? (the Camp Counselor begins wheezing for rowing so hard) For Neptune's sake man, speak to Kings english!
Camp Counselor: I'm... I'm Camp Counselor Crouse from Sun Fun Island!
Warden: You're who, what?
Camp Counselor: Well, I was doing roll call and discovered one of my sun-funners was missing! I came to take him back with me. A Spongebob Squarepants? (all the prisoners raise their hand pretending to be Spongebob)
Warden: Enough! So, tell me Counselor, just what do they do on your Sunny Funny Island?
Camp Counselor: Well, we uh make macaroni art.
Warden: Egad!
Camp Counselor: And we sing campfire songs.
Warden: Ugh!
Camp Counselor: Oh, and we help and support each other. (Warden's heart is aching)
Warden: Stop! These heinous activities sound like torture too severe for even the lowest, filthiest, undeserving... (gets an idea.) Wait a minute! I have a brilliant idea. (cut to prisoners doing macaroni art. They are grunting and groaning)
Camp Counselor: (to Prisoner #4) Oh, that is very good, Bruiser. (the other prisoners are crying. Spongebob and Patrick sigh)
Spongebob: Patrick?
Patrick: Spongebob?
Spongebob: You first.
Patrick: (sighs) I...I liked the other island better!
Spongebob: Me, too! (both sobbing)
End