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Jellyfish Hunter

Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: sireatsalot

(Open in Jellyfish Fields)
French Narrator: Ahhh, another beautiful day in Bikini Bottom's own Jellyfish Fields. An untamed world of natural order, where the little jellyfish jellies roam free across the salty seascape. And where there is jellyfish, there is the jellyfish hunter.
SpongeBob: La la la la la, la la la la la. (pulling a jellyfish from his net) You're my twelfth catch of the day! I'm gonna call you Twelvie. (He holds it over a jar and tickles it with a feather.) Gitchy, gitchy, goo! (The jellyfish sneezes jelly into the jar, then SpongeBob lets it go.) Bye, Twelvie! (The jellyfish stings him, then a blue jellyfish swims by.) Ooh, it's you! (He swims next to blue jellyfish, tries to catch it, then it swims off.) Well, it's just you and me again. I've caught and named every jellyfish in this field at least once, except you, no-name.
(The jellyfish buzzes three times and we see a caption below it: Bring it on!)
(SpongeBob wails and chases it all over the field.)
SpongeBob: (with the final swipe of his net) Gotcha!! (He has missed, and it is seen swimming away.) Barnacles, how does he do that?! Someday I'll catch ol' no-name.

(Cut to Krusty Krab.)
SpongeBob: I'm goin' on my lunch break, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Ya got five minutes!
SpongeBob: Wow!! One more minute than yesterday! SpongeBob, ready for launch. (He makes rocket sounds as he dumps out his lunch onto the table. It's a krabby patty and jar of jelly.) Mm…mmm…mhm. Oh…m…yum. Oh, yeah. Mmhmmhmm.
(His loud eating gets the attention of a fish sitting at the next table.)
Fish: Hey, buddy…what the heck is that? (points at SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Why, this is a hole, good sir. You see, I am a sponge, and we typically…
Fish: (cutting SpongeBob off) Not that, that! (pointing to his patty)
SpongeBob: It's just a little ol' krabby patty smothered in jellyfish jelly. I call it…a krabby patty with jellyfish jelly.
Fish: (holding up a patty) Could I try some?
SpongeBob: Su-ure!
(SpongeBob dumps a mound of jelly into his patty, the fish takes a bite, music begins.)
Fish: Amazing. I've got to tell someone about this. (starts singing and dancing around the restaurant) Hey all you people! Hey all you people! Hey all you people, won't you listen to meeeeeeeeee! I just had a sandwich, no ordinary sandwich, a sandwich filled with jellyfish jellyyyyyyyyyyyy. Hey, man, you got to try this sandwich, (puts jelly on customers' patties) it's no ordinary sandwich, it's the tastiest sandwich in the seeeeeeea! A skibbidy biddy bodda booda bodda a dadda di dow…yeaaaaah. Thank you!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Who's playin' Squidward's records again?
SpongeBob: No one, Mr. Krabs. I was just sharing my jellyfish jelly with the customers.
(Customers are seen enjoying their patties and heard making gratifying sounds.) Here, Mr. Krabs. Send your taste buds on a journey.
Mr. Krabs: (sniffing the patty) Messin' with the patty's formula! That's mutiny!! Why, I oughta…
Fish: (to Mr. Krabs) Sir, this is the greatest thing I've ever eaten. I'm gonna come back here for lunch every day for the rest of my life!
(Mr. Krabs' eye twitches, then we see him picturing the customer in a dollar bill, which then speaks to him.)
Fish: Hey, buddy, you alright?
(Mr. Krabs babbles indiscernibly.)
SpongeBob: You okay, Mr. K?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I gotta proposition for ya. How's about you go catch me some of those little money fish?
SpongeBob: Oh, boy…getting paid to jellyfish. That's my life's dream!
Mr. Krabs: Well, keep dreamin', this'll be on your time. (hands him a net)
SpongeBob: Aye aye, sir!
Mr. Krabs: Now, go get me some jellyfish! And make it… (SpongeBob hands him a jar with a jellyfish in it) quick. Uuhh, SpongeBob, we're gonna need more than one, puny, jellyfish.
SpongeBob: But sir, how many jellyfish do ya need?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, we have a whole ecosystem full a hungry payin' customers. Oh no! Don't tell me…ya've stopped carin' for the customer?!
SpongeBob: Aah! No! Never!
Mr. Krabs: Then go out there and get me some more jellies!!
SpongeBob: Okay, Mr. Krabs. Just make sure the jellyfish are comfortable. They are oh-so-sensitive.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I'll keep ‘em comfortable, all right…inside me wallet! (laughs)

(Scene cuts to Jellyfish Fields where SpongeBob catches five jellyfish at once. Then cuts back to The Krusty Krab where Mr. Krabs is putting up a new sign that reads "Home of the Jelly Patty")
SpongeBob: Here ya go, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: I'm gonna need more than that, boy!
SpongeBob: (bringing several more) More jellies, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, that'll never do. More! (SpongeBob brings many more.) More, SpongeBob! (SpongeBob brings a giant-sized jar filled with jellyfish.) What don't you understand about MORE?! (brings more) More! (Spongebob is shown catching more jellies in the field in different ways.) More! More! More…more…more…more…more…more…more. More, more, more, more, mooooooooooooooooore!!!
(We see a population sign in Jellyfish Fields with the words "4 million" crossed out and a "0" painted over it.)
SpongeBob: Well, there's no more. Now that's jellyfishing! (walking away, twirling his net) Scoobee-dit-da-doop-da-dit-da-dee.
(The blue jellyfish comes out from behind a rock, watching as SpongeBob walks away singing to himself. It follows SpongeBob.)
SpongeBob: (stopping in his tracks, suddenly) It feels like somebody…(turning around) wants to sell me something! (He looks back down the road, scanning the area. Behind a rock, out of SpongeBob's view, we see two salesfish ducking.)
SalesFish: I told you he was on to us!
(SpongeBob is now walking quickly, sweating with nervousness. The blue jellyfish follows closely behind, but when SpongeBob looks around, it quickly hides. He walks faster, the jellyfish following faster, then turns around again. The jellyfish quickly hides behind a rock.)
SpongeBob: I'm not interested in anything you're selling! (runs home as fast as he can, jellyfish follows) Gee, it sure felt like… Daha, I must be working too hard. (phone rings) I'll get it, Gary! Hello, SpongeBob's house, SpongeBob speaking. (hears heavy breathing) Hello? (We see the blue jellyfish at a pay phone, breathing heavily into the phone. Then back to SpongeBob where he hears the phone get hung up on the other end.)(hanging up his phone, laughs nervously) Wrong number. (We see the blue jelly cutting electrical wires, then SpongeBob in his house as the lights flicker off.)(sweating nervously now) I guess Gary forgot to pay the electric bill. Nahaha. (front door opens) Gary, is that you? Gary?! (mysterious shadow creeps in, going towards the kitchen) Uh, yeah, good idea, Gary. There's probably some candles in the kitchen. (He peeks in the kitchen and sees a krabby patty with blue jelly on the floor.) Hellooo…what's this?! How did you get in here, O delicious one? A little snack will calm my nerves. (picks up patty) Mm, a krabby patty with blue jelly! Huh!! BLUE JELLY!?!?! (The blue jellyfish swims up next to SpongeBob.) Hey, ol' no-name! What's happenin'? (He laughs nervously as the jellyfish shows a net and jar.)

(Cut to SpongeBob being carried down the street in the jar by the blue jellyfish.)
SpongeBob: No-name, let me out! What're ya gonna do with me? Pee-yoo, what smells like big business? Hey! I don't remember that factory! (He peeks in the window of a factory, seeing an assembly-line of sorts with jelly jars and jellyfish everywhere being tortured for their jelly.) Huh? (gasps) What is this horrible place?! What kind of monster is responsible for this horror?
Mr. Krabs: (on a stationary exercise bike rigged up to work the factory) That's it, boys…keep that gelatinous gold a-flowin'. (laughs)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs? No! Now I know why you brought me here, but what can we do?
(Mr. Krabs is seen listening to music on headphones and lifts one momentarily to hear SpongeBob.) Mr. Krabs! Stop this madness, stop it right now!
Mr. Krabs: I…ah, uh… this isn't what it looks like, SpongeBob. Why, uh, we're just, uh, uh, havin' a little…tea party!
SpongeBob: Oh boy! A tea party! (blue jellyfish taps him on the shoulder) You tricked me, Mr. Krabs. I wouldn't have collected all those jellyfish had I known that this was their fate. This isn't right! Jellyfish need wide open space an' fresh air.
Mr. Krabs: Easy boy, what're ya doin' with that? (SpongeBob lifts a large pipe wrench.)
SpongeBob: Something that shoulda been done a long time ago!
Mr. Krabs: NOO!!
SpongeBob: (tightening a bolt) The squeaky bolt on this door was driving me crazy.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, whew.
SpongeBob: And now, I'm gonna set these jellyfish free! (tries prying the door open with his hands)
Mr. Krabs: (chuckles) Well, ya can't! The door is voice activated, and it will only open if I say, "Open". (realizes what he said and covers his mouth)
(Voice activation is accepted and the door opens. The jellyfish swarm out of the holding container and into the room.)
SpongeBob: Freedom! Free-hee-hee-dom!!!
(The jellyfish swim toward Mr. Krabs.)
Mr. Krabs: You'll never catch me! (pedals really hard on his stationary bike, laughing hysterically) What? (realizes he's not going anywhere) Blasted exercise craze. (jellyfish swarm stings him) Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
(The jellyfish leave the building, SpongeBob is standing outside the door.)
SpongeBob: Goodbye, friends!
Mr. Krabs: (all charred from being stung) I'm takin' the menu. (walks away)
SpongeBob: He really got burned on that deal! Dahahahahaha! All is as it should be. (pulls out a jelly fishing net) I promise never to use this net for anything but pure sport again. Jellyfish aren't meant to be captured forever. (the blue jellyfish lands in the net, SpongeBob gasps) Ol' no-name! I guess I can name you, now. I'll call you, Friend.
(SpongeBob holds out his hand to the jellyfish, which stings it. His hand swells up and turns red, he just looks at the jellyfish and whimpers.)