Back

Spot Returns

(The episode opens inside the Chum Bucket, and Plankton is looking for someone!)
Plankton: Spot? Spot? (Looks under a can) Spot? Where are you, Spot? (whistles) Oh, there you are, boy! Come to me. Jump in my arms and give me your precious kisses. (Spot crawls over to Plankton, and is much fatter than he was before. He rolls over and flops onto Plankton) Good amoeba. You get a num-num. (Plankton hands Spot a treat, which he eats)
Karen: Plankton, have you been feeding Spot a lot of treats lately? (She measures Spot with a measuring tape) He's looking bigger than usual.
Plankton: Karen! Not in front of the amoeba. Spot is fit as a fiddle. (Spot makes a very loud burp)
Karen: (Sarcastically) All right, Doctor. If you say so.
Plankton: Come on, I'll prove it.

(Bubble transition, next scene, where we see that Plankton has hooked Spot onto an analyzer)

Plankton: Now you'll see how healthy my little Spotty-wotty is.
(Plankton pulls down an X-ray to reveal that Spot is filled with barking puppies. The X-Ray reads "100% for sure pregnant")
Plankton: Wha—pregnant? Ah, that can't be right. I thought he was a boy.
Karen: I'm not sure it matters for amoebas. Food-rich environments cause amoebas to reproduce, (she points to a big pile of dog food and treats) and you've clearly provided a food-rich environment. (Karen pets Spot as he whimpers) Who's gonna be a mama? Good boy!
Plankton: We're not ready to have puppies, Karen! This is all happening a little too fast! (Plankton sprays disinfectant everywhere) We have to set up a state-of-the-art delivery room, sanitize everything, baby-proof the Chum Bucket—wait. Where's Spot?
(We hear that Spot is in the closet, and see that the puppies are leaking out of the room like slime)
Plankton: (Scoops some of the puppy slime) What the?
(Karen opens the door and Spot, now at his original size, floats out of the slime on a small jacket)
Plankton: You did it, boy! Oh, I'm so glad you're okay! (Spot licks him) Wait. Is that my good dinner jacket? (Spot barks)
Karen: (Scoops up more of the puppy slime) Oh, who cares about a dinner jacket? [Rubs the slime and Spot's puppies all over her screen] Aw, look at the little puppies!
Plankton: Yeesh. Calm down, Karen. You don't want to blow out your motherboard.
Karen: Oh, I'm gonna name you Steven and Karen and Clayton and Vincent and—cute overload. (Her screen reads "Cute Overload" right before short-circuiting. She blows out and automatically reboots)
Plankton: Oh, sure, you take a couple of hours to reboot, Karen. It's fine. I'll just manage all these puppies all on my own!
(The puppies form a conglomerate blob. They dissolve Plankton's stool and break Karen's home screen)
Plankton: Hey! Get down from there! Stop that! My furniture!
(The puppies dissolve some chemical beakers, and the chemicals fall and dissolve the table they were on, followed by the chemicals dissolving the floor)
Plankton: My experiments! Bad amoebas! Bad! I don't get it, Karen. Spot is so well behaved, but the puppies don't listen to me at all. I think we need to get rid of them.
(Karen is still rebooting)
Plankton: Yeah, I know what you would say. (Imitating Karen) "Don't you vaporize those puppies, Plankton."
(Karen is STILL rebooting)
Plankton: Fine! If you insist, I'll find a non-vaporizing way to get rid of them. Jeez!

(Bubble transition, next scene, where we see SpongeBob merrily skipping down the road, blowing bubbles in the shapes of animals like caterpillars)

SpongeBob: ♪La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la—♪ (stops) Huh? (his bubble wand makes a question mark bubble, as he sees Plankton making a sign) "Free amoeba puppies?" Oh, hey, Plankton. What's with the sign?
Plankton: I fed Spot too much, and he had puppies. You want a few thousand? (He jumps down) They're free with an order of chum!
SpongeBob: (Disgusted at the thought of eating chum) No thank you, Plankton. I, uh, already ate. But I can help you get your puppies adopted. I did get Patrick into a good home.
(We see Patrick on a leash with Mr. Krabs, as Patrick acts like a dog and sniffs a fire hydrant)
Mr. Krabs: You sure this is a guard dog, SpongeBob? (Patrick makes a stance like he's about to pee)

(Bubble transition, next scene, where we see SpongeBob and Plankton going to the Barg-n' Mart. They see two gill scouts selling cookies)

Gill Scout: Would you like to purchase—
Plankton: (Yanks the table away from them, screams) This is our corner now! (The girls sob and run away)
SpongeBob: Now, Plankton, just politely offer people free puppies, and they'll all be adopted in no time.
Plankton: (To a random fish, screaming) You there! I demand you take an amoeba puppy! (Plankton tries to hand the fish an amoeba puppy, but it's about as small as a speck of dust)
Fish #1: But that doesn't look like a puppy to me. More like a speck of dirt.
Plankton: These are purebred amoebas, swine! (He pulls out a death ray and shoots rapidly at the customer as he runs. An old lady walks out of the Barg-n' Mart) Take this puppy or I'll destroy you!
Fish #2: (Makes a very loud, expressive scream and runs away)
SpongeBob: (Holding one of his eyes out at Plankton) Maybe if people could see how cute these puppies are, (puts his eye back in his head) they'd be more interested in taking them! (He grabs some of the puppy slime and molds it)
Plankton: Wait, what are you doing?
SpongeBob: (He molds the puppy slime into different shapes, starting with an accordion, then a ball. Finally, the slime becomes an amoeba puppy that's just the right size) Ta-da!
Plankton: I can't believe that actually worked.
(Another fish walks in, curious about the new puppy)
Fish #3: Say, that's a fine-looking amoeba.
SpongeBob: Thanks! You want him? He's free to a good home.
Fish #3: (The puppy leaps into his arms) Whoo! (He loves the puppy, gets licked, and runs off. A line of customers form)
Mrs. Puff: Do you have another amoeba? They are too adorable.
Plankton: Smush up some more puppies, SpongeBob. We are in business!
SpongeBob: I'm smushin'! I'm smushin'! (He grabs all the puppy slime and rubs it on his face, so that he absorbs them. He shape shifts into a fist to shake and smush the slime, to then split five freshly re-sized puppies between the customers. The puppies yap)
Customers: Aww…

(Bubble transition, next scene, where we see Mrs. Puff leave her puppy home to leave for a meeting. The puppy is heartbroken)

Mrs. Puff: Don't be sad, Matilda. Mommy has to go to her arraignment, but she'll be back soon. (She blows a kiss at her and leaves)
(The puppy sadly scratches the door. Suddenly, she goes on a rampage and destroys the wallpaper in Mrs. Puff's house and knocks over knick-knacks. She then opens her jewelry box, swallows a pearl necklace, and escapes back to the Chum Bucket happily)
Plankton: Puppy? You came back?
(The puppy jumps into Plankton's arms and licks him)
Plankton: (He notices the necklace she swallowed) Did you take this from your new owner? That is rude, puppy! Very, very rude! (He notices all the puppies came back, all with stuff they stole in their bodies) Wait, you all took something...and brought it back to me? Hmm... (he gets an idea and grins evilly) I don't need any of this junk. (Tosses the jewelry inside) But perhaps there is something you can steal for me, like the Krabby Patty secret formula? (chokes and coughs) Anyone happen to steal a throat lozenge? No? Okay. Come on, pups! We've got some training to do—(as he and the puppies go inside, he stops and sees a motionless Karen still rebooting herself, with the jewelry piled on her] Still rebooting, huh?
(The puppies chew the jewelry Plankton threw, and proceed to chew up his entire lab)
Plankton: I might need someone to help train these amoebas.

(Fade transition, cut to next scene, where we're still in Plankton's chewed-up lab, only SpongeBob's there to help)

SpongeBob: I'm glad you called me, Plankton. I am the best pet trainer in all of Bikini Bottom. (pulls up his pants) Why, Patrick is already housebroken.
(Cuts to the Krusty Crab, where Mr. Krabs is cleaning a mess made by Patrick on his office rug)
Mr. Krabs: (Grumbling) Oh, yeah, he'll just use the litter box. (Sprays Patrick in the face with water) Bad Patrick. (Patrick whimpers) Bad Patrick Star.
SpongeBob: To train a puppy, one must think like a puppy. (He morphs into an amoeba puppy and barks)

(Bubble transition, next scene, where SpongeBob is pretending to be an amoeba in a classroom, teaching the amoeba puppies to behave)

SpongeBob: Woof, woof, woof! (He sits down, and all the puppies sit down with him)
(Scene changes to Plankton unlocking a door)
Plankton: Voilà! Eh? (he puppy liquefies itself and flies through the keyhole. Then he opens the door behind it.)
(The scene changes back to SpongeBob with the other puppies)
SpongeBob: Woof! (The puppies stack up together and SpongeBob goes on top.) Woof! Woof! Woof!
The scene changes back to Plankton activating a hand grenade. He throws it for a puppy to catch. The puppy comes back and places it down. Plankton screams as he drops the other hand bomb. The two hand bombs collide and explode, leaving Plankton charred)
(The scene changes back to SpongeBob and Plankton)
Plankton: Well, SpongeBob, after several grueling hours of training, the puppies are ready. Allow me to introduce them. (Pushes button that opens a garage, revealing a puppy with hand bombs strapped on a belt] There's Demolitions Puppy.
(The puppy activated the hand bomb, swallows it, and it explodes inside its body)
Plankton: Acrobat Puppy.
(A puppy with a yellow shirt with red stars flips over with spiky steel cleats)
Plankton: Identical Twin Puppies.
(A puppy with a pink sweater multiplies into two)
Plankton: And of course, Comic Relief Puppy!
(The puppy, with a clown suit, sprays itself with a water gun flower)
SpongeBob: (Suspiciously) Hey, is this another plan to steal the secret formula?
Plankton: Of course it is, and there's nothing you can do about it! (He laughs and pushes a button)
SpongeBob: Huh? (He gets lifted by a crane) Whoa! (He screams as he is thrown in a giant dog cage) You'll never get away with this, Plankton!
Plankton: Oh, but I will get away with this, Plankton—I mean, SpongeBob. Allow me to explain.
(He explains, and the Identical twin puppies go to the Krusty Krab)
Plankton: First, we'll need a distraction inside the Krusty Krab. That's where the Identical Twin Puppies come into play. (One of the Identical Twin Puppies jumps onto a table and barks happily, and the Krusty Crab customers gaze at her in awe)
Fish #4: Aww, I want one. It's so—
(The other Identical Twin Puppy barks at another table. The customers look at the puppy in affection. The customers follow both puppies, back and forth. Mr. Krabs and Squidward shrug as they have no clue what's going on)
Plankton: (Cuts to the outside air vent) Free from Krabs' watchful eye, Acrobat Puppy can begin his infiltration. (The Puppy liquefies itself into the vent and squeezes into Mr. Krabs' office. While Patrick is sleeping, the Acrobat Puppy sneaks by quietly and gets to the window)
Plankton: Once Acrobat Puppy gets inside Krabs' office, he'll open the window for Demolitions Puppy. (The Acrobat Puppy opens the window, and the Demolitions Puppy jumps in and hops onto the safe)
Plankton: Then, Demolitions Puppy will blow the safe wide open. (The demolition puppy surrounds the safe with an explosive circle, with a bomb. The acrobat puppy pushes a remote button, and the safe explodes, revealing the secret formula)
Plankton: With the safe open, the formula is mine! And finally, just for fun, Comic Relief Puppy adds a dollop of humor.
(The comic relief puppy sprays water in SpongeBob's eyes with a water gun flower, and pies itself with a cream pie)
SpongeBob: That's never gonna work.
Plankton: (Laughs evilly) But it already has! (Notices the five puppies already have the formula) What do you think the puppies have been doing all this time? Now to open my prize! (He struggles to pull the cork off the bottle)
(Things begin to look bleak as SpongeBob believes Plankton won. However, he gets an idea when he sees Karen rebooting herself. He takes his right eye out of his socket and throws it at Karen, she falls sideways)
Plankton: Karen! Baby! (He runs over to her and tries to lift her up)
(SpongeBob whistles and the puppies take off their outfits)
SpongeBob: (Morphs into an amoeba puppy one last time) Woof, woof, ruff, ruff, woof, woof!
(The puppies stack themselves up and push the lever up. The cage opens)
SpongeBob: (Hops out and morphs back to his original form) Woof, woof!
(SpongeBob runs over to Plankton as he gets Karen back up)
SpongeBob: Plankton! Won't you ever learn? You're never gonna get the formula!
Plankton: Come on, SpongeBob. Maybe we can work something out! I'll give ya 10% of my patty profits. Huh?
SpongeBob: Sorry, Plankton. You leave me no choice. (Dumps a pile of amoeba treats on top of Plankton)
Plankton: Uh-oh.
(The puppies dog pile onto Plankton and eat all the treats. We go back outside and see the top of the Chum Bucket explode due to the pressure from the excess Amoeba puppy slime. The formula also pops out and rolls back to Mr. Krabs)
Patrick: I believe this is yours.
Mr. Krabs: Hey! Good boy, Patrick! You get a treat!
(Mr. Krabs feeds Patrick a bone, and Patrick slobbers on him)
Mr. Krabs: Okay. No, wait! I—Get offa me! What are you—
(The Chum Bucket is completely destroyed, and we go back inside to see that Karen finished rebooting herself)
Karen: Reboot...complete. Oh! Oh! Oh ha! More puppies? For me?! Oh, Sheldon, I couldn't be happier! (Laughs)
(Karen grabs all of the puppy slime, rolls them into a ball, and smushes it all into a really large, heavy puppy. The puppy makes a deep bark)
Plankton: Wait, puppy. Whoa, puppy! (Gets crushed by the large puppy) Ooh! Cute...overload! Aah!
End