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Pineapple Invasion

Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: Amphitrite

Plankton: (emerges from the roof with a wagon, with a rag covering something in it) I'm ready! I'm ready! Ready to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula! Prepare to initiate plan number... hmm... number... What's the number? Oh well, who cares?
Karen: Good question.
Plankton: Say what?
Karen: I said "Good luck". (pushes the wagon down the slope)
Plankton: That formula will be mine! (the wagon rolls through the Krusty Krab doors and past the customers up to the cash register boat) Out of my way, pinheads! Move it, move it, move it! (rings the bells) Hey there, schnozzola! I'm about to show you the advantage of not having a nose. Say hello to... (removes the rag to reveal a skunk) Mr. Stinky! (the customers, thinking the skunk is a cat, walk up to it) That's right, everyone. Gather in real close. (takes out a remote) Time to trigger the stench. Yoink! (presses the button. A siren on Mr. Stinky's helmet lights up and a bee flies in his helmet, causing him to get scared and spray his fumes all over the restaurant. Squidward and the customers run out of the Krusty Krab screaming due to the horrible smell)
SpongeBob: (cooking Krabby Patties. The fumes enter the kitchen and hovers over the patties) Huh? (tries to wave the fumes off with his spatula) No! No! No! No! No! No! (the fumes engulf the patties) Not the patties! I'll save you! (SpongeBob takes a deep whiff of the smell and tears up)
Mr. Krabs: (coming out of his office) What's all the racket out here? (sniffs the fumes. His eyes fill up with the odor and deflate. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob both run outside of the restaurant along with the customers, where the HAZMAT team condemns the Krusty Krab and sprays the two clean with a hose)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, are you alright? What happened?
Mr. Krabs: I don't know. Me eyes were burnin'. All I saw was a little eyeball and a pair of antennae and... Plankton! He's still in there! Alone! With me secret formula! He could be doing anything with it! He could be... reading it! (removes nose) Give me your hand, boy-o. (removes SpongeBob arms and puts it in his nasal) Okay, I'm going in.
SpongeBob: Good luck, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: (goes inside the restaurant, past Mr. Stinky, who eats the bee, and into his office, where Plankton is planting dynamite on the safe) Why you little...
Plankton: I hope you like percussion, Eugene. Because these drumsticks really go bongo! (laughs and ignites the dynamite. It's blows up the safe only to reveal a second safe inside it) What? The old "safe in the safe" routine?
Mr. Krabs: (rounds up Plankton with SpongeBob's arm) Here's another routine: you're the meat in me knuckle sandwich!
Plankton: I'm not hungry!
Mr. Krabs: (smashes Plankton between his fists. Plankton sticks to his left fist) Eww. (throws one of Plankton's antennae on the floor) SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: (hops in on his left leg with his right leg in his nose) Yes, sir. I see the problem. (scoops Plankton with his spatula and flicks him out the window. The HAZMAT team puts Mr. Stinky in a basket with balloons tied to it and it floats toward the surface, but then gets blown to Bikini Bottom, where he sprays fumes again, causing everyone to run away)
Mr. Krabs: Whew! That was too close my lad. Three more safes and he would've had me secret formula. Looks like I'm gonna have to beef up security around here. (takes a container out of the safes) I'm gonna need you to do me a big favor, laddy. (gives the secret formula bottle to SpongeBob) Take this home with you and hide it while I reevaluate my security situation.
SpongeBob: But Mr. Krabs, how do you know it will be safe from Plankton at my house?
Mr. Krabs: Pshaw! He'll think it's still here! His tiny brain is incapable of the kind of abstract thinking that is required for reflection. Or thoughtful reasoning and deduction. He cannot ruminate (pan down to the antenna Plankton lost earlier, catching a signal of what Krabs is saying and Plankton is listening from a distance) He cannot define the hypothesis. He's a tired clown. He'll never know it's in your house.
Plankton: (smiling evilly) Oh, you're right, Professor Krabface. I'm much too simple-minded to look there. (laughs)
(at nighttime, SpongeBob walks out of the Krusty Krab with the formula)
Plankton: Hey, there. (SpongeBob panickedly hides the formula in one of his holes) Pleasant night, eh SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Oh, uh... yes. It's a very nighty-night for a walkie!
Plankton: Ain't that the truth? Hey, nothing gets past you. One could say you have the formula for honesty.
SpongeBob: Uh, yeah. One could say that I guess. Uh, anyway, I gotta go wash my formula--HAIR! Hair! I gotta go wash my hair! (tips his hat, unknowingly revealing the formula underneath) Good night, Plankton.
Plankton: Yeah, gotta keep that hair clean and in a safe place.
SpongeBob: (laughing nervously) Okay, bye! (walks home)
Narrator: The next morning...
SpongeBob: Now remember, Gary. I'm entrusting you with the secret formula.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Stay sharp, Gary. Don't let anyone inside.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Bye, Gary! (Plankton watches as SpongeBob leaves. Laughs)
Gary: (hears a knock at the door) Meow. (opens the door)
Plankton: (standing at the door disguised as a salesman. He pets Gary, who growls at him) Why, hey there, little fella! Is SpongeBob... (clears throat) I mean your master at home? Perhaps I could just come inside for a minute and demonstrate our fine snail products. (opens his case with various snail care products) Shell polish, slime deodorant, chew toys...
Gary: Meow. (slams the door on the disguise's leg)
Plankton: My leg! (hops away on one of the legs) Your friends won't tell you this, but you can really use the slime deodorant, Smelly!
Narrator: Moments later...
Gary: (reading the newspaper until the doorbell rings) Meow? (answers the door)
Plankton: (disguised as a girl scout) Hello, sir... (clears throat and talks with a higher-pitched voice) Hello, sir! I'm selling Sweetie Patrol cookies! We have a lovely assortment of fungi and algae flavors. (sits on the sofa with the box of cookies and a list of badge requirements) How many delicious boxes can I put you down for? If you order ten boxes, I'll quality for my bottom-dweller badge. If you order a hundred boxes, I'll get my bling-bling badge. You know, you should hide these from your roommate. She'll eat all of them. (normal voice) If you show me your best hiding place, I'd be happy to help. (the camera pans out to reveal that the sofa is now outside the house)
Gary: Meow, meow! (slams the door)
Plankton: (gets mad and throws the cookie box on the ground, which explodes. Stunned) Note to self: nitroglycerin is not a substitute for vanilla extract. (faints)
Narrator: More moments later...
Gary: (sees Plankton making faces at him from out the window. He opens the door) Meow? (it turns out to be a decoy and Gary growls angrily and goes back inside)
Plankton: (eating his way inside the pineapple house. He spits some of it out) I forgot how much I hate pineapple. (Gary searches the living room for Plankton. Plankton's antenna sticks out of Gary's litter box and hides back in as Gary passes it. Plankton pops out, munching on some of the snail litter) Hey, this snail litter tastes better than pineapple. Now, where is that secret formula? (goes into the living room) Where is it? Where is it? Gotta be here somewhere. (knocks down a table) Nothin' in there. (pulls a hook off SpongeBob's wall decoration and uses it to pop SpongeBob's chair. Plankton knocks down the table with SpongeBob's shellphone and looks inside it) Hello! (voice echoes. Rips the wallpaper off the wall) Where the barnacles is it? (rolls the floor up) Where is it?! Where is it?! I know you're in here! You're not fooling anybody! I went to college! (goes back into the kitchen. Plankton opens the fridge, jumps on the stove, and knocks the fridge over. He then knocks the stove over and climbs through the ducts) Nope, nope, nope. (he climbs in the cupboards, and rummages through it. He finds a baster and puts it in his pocket. Gary wakes up from his nap and goes downstairs to see where the noise is coming from. Plankton sneaks past Gary and goes upstairs to search in SpongeBob's room. Gary sees him and gets an idea) Plankton: (walks out of SpongeBob's room and slips on Gary's slime, bounces off a mattress and flies into the ceiling fan, which spins him around and flings him in a basketball net, through a pipe, and onto a record player. The record player spins Plankton and he gets caught under the needle. He falls off and into a puddle of glue. A bowling ball rolls on top of him, squishing and sticking him to it. The bowling ball rolls into a bunch of flower pots like bowling pins. A robotic vacuum cleaner sucks up the mess, including Plankton, who pops out of the dust bin) Alright, snail. Let's go! Just you and me!
Gary: Meow!
Plankton: Put 'em up! Put 'em up! (Gary beats up Plankton with his eyestalks. After he recovers, he notices the opening of Gary's shell) Of course! What a fool I've been! (climbs inside) SpongeBob's hidden the secret formula inside Gary's shell! Yeesh, this place is disgusting! I bet it reeks. Good thing I don't have a nose. Huh? (one of Gary's eyes starts following him. Plankton starts running away as it chases him throughout all sorts of surreal dimensions in Gary's shell)
SpongeBob: (returns home) Gary, I'm home! (gasps as soon as he sees the inside of his house is demolished) What happened here?! (gasps) My first Krabby Patty! I had it bronzed! Aw, and I was gonna give that to my grandchildren. (gasps again) My Mermaid Man collectible underpants! I could've worn them a thousand more times. (gasps a third time) My glass of water! (teary-eyed) I was gonna drink that. (walks up to his TV set. The Krabby Patty formula is on top of it) Oh, the Krabby Patty formula! Whew! It's safe and right where I left it. (spots Gary with his eye in his shell and acting crazy) Gary, did you do this? (Gary growls) What's the matter, Gary? Something wrong with your shell?
Gary: Meow, meow!
SpongeBob: Something's not right, Gary. I'd better get you to the vet.
Gary: Meow.
Plankton: (stops running and reaches a dead end) Ha! I lost him! Now I'M lost. (Gary's shell abruptly tilts, causing him to fall deeper into the shell's center) Oh... my head... oh, I must be in the center of the shell. (sees a pice of paper sticking out of the snail slime) What's that? (takes the paper out of the slime and opens it) This is it! Just like I thought! It was hidden here all the time! The secret Krabby Patty formula! It's beautiful! (a light shines on Plankton) The heavenly light! I always knew I'd see it once I've gotten the formula! Let me bask in its glory!
(cut to the vet, where it's revealed that Gary's shell is opened up with Plankton inside holding a grocery grocery list, looking dizzy and hallucinating)
Doctor: Well, that's odd. Who's that?
SpongeBob: Hey, it's Plankton.
Doctor: What's he got there?
SpongeBob: Looks like one of my old grocery lists.
Doctor: I don't know how he got in there, but the gases inside this shell are making the little guy hallucinate. He would've smelled the gases if he had a nose like most good-hearted people. (takes a deep whiff)
Plankton: (laughs) I got it! I got it! (runs off into the sunset and SpongeBob, Gary, and the doctor watch him in confusion) I've finally got the formula! It's mine, it's mine, it's mine, it's mine! Open the sparkling apple juice, Karen! Daddy's bringing the bacon home! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!