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CopyBob DittoPants

Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: Amphitrite

(open at the Chum Bucket. Inside, SpongeBob, Plankton, and Karen are partying in a conga line)
Plankton: More fruit punch, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: You know Plankton, when you invited me over, I thought it was another trick to get the Krabby Patty formula. Now, I see you just love social gatherings in the workplace!
Plankton: Oh, I love office parties. We got roller chair races and karaoke. Hey! I know a gag we can do: copy our faces on the new copy machine!
SpongeBob: (goes in the copy room with Plankton) Ooh! Should I put my face on the glass?
Plankton: Why don't you lay your whole body down? That glass is big enough.
SpongeBob: (lies on the copy machine and makes many funny faces) How's this? Like this? What about this? Is this good?
Plankton: Just lay face down and keep still. (presses the "Scan" button. SpongeBob laughs) Alright, party's over. Go home. (pushes SpongeBob out the door)
SpongeBob: Aww... But I'd like some more fruit punch.
Plankton: No more punch for you. You don't look so good, SpongeBob. I suggest you take the day off, tomorrow.
SpongeBob Nah, I feel fine.
Plankton: Are you sure?
SpongeBob: Now that you ask, I don't know. I think I just felt a twinge!
Plankton: You'll be fine if you take tomorrow off. (closes the door. Goes to the cpopy machine and presses the "Print" button, causing another SpongeBob to emerge from it. Plankton squirts a drop of toner on it and the SpongeBob Copy comes to life) Hello, SpongeBob CopyPants. Can you say "secret formula"?
SpongeBob Copy: See-see for mama...
Plankton: "Se-cret form-ula".
SpongeBob Copy: Se-cret form-ula. Secret formula!
(Plankton and the SpongeBob Copy laugh. Cut to next scene)
Plankton: Now remember. Your name is SpongeBob SquarePants and your assignment is to ask Krabs for the secret Krabby Patty formula.
SpongeBob Copy: My name is SpongeBob SquarePants and I want the secret formula.
Plankton: Excellent! Now off you go! Wait. (colors the copy's tie blue) Just keeping track of my copy. (the copy walks to the Krusty Krab. At the same time, the real SpongeBob is about to enter. Plankton runs up and stops him) What are you doing here?! You said you would take today off.
SpongeBob: But I feel great today.
Plankton: Are you sure? Because you're sweating. (SpongeBob looks down and steps out of a hot frying pan) But you can't work. You have yellow jaundice!
SpongeBob: (laughing) Oh, Plankton. Yellow is my natural color. (enters the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob Copy: (passes Squidward) Morning! (enters the kitchen)
Squidward: Whatever.
SpongeBob: (passes Squidward) Morning! (enters the kitchen)
Squidward: I said "Whatever". (notices something) Wait, didn't I just... didn't I... (looks into the window and sees both SpongeBobs. They look at each other and laugh) There's only one explanation: I'm still in bed and I'm having a nightmare! (beats himself constantly) Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!!
Customer: I'd like to place an order for two.
Squidward: "Two" as in "two SpongeBobs"? Sure, this is all just a bad dream, right? I'm dreaming, and you're in my dream!
Customer: That's me, the man of your dreams. (leaves confusedly)
Squidward: If this is a dream, there are no consequences! I can do anything! (flicks a soda cup off the cash register boat and it mysteriously floats) I really am dreaming! (the cup is actually suspended in the air by a kid's propeller hat)
SpongeBob: What's your name, handsome stranger?
SpongeBob Copy: My name is SpongeBob SquarePants.
SpongeBob: Wow! We look alike and have the same name! That's two things we have in common! (they both laugh) I always wanted a twin brother! (morphs into a bubble) How do you feel about bubbles?
SpongeBob Copy: (does the same) I love 'em!
SpongeBob: (morphs into a jellyfish) Jellyfishing?
SpongeBob Copy: (does the same) The same thing you do!
SpongeBob: (morphs into Squidward, imitating him) How about Squidward?
SpongeBob Copy: (does the same) Oh, please. (they both laugh)
SpongeBob: I think I'll nickname you "Me Two"! (they laugh again)
Plankton: (goes into SpongeCopy's ear) Hey, SpongeCopy. Good to see you. Have you learned the secret formula, yet?
SpongeBob Copy: Oh, I can't tell you that. It's a secret. By the way, my name is "Me Two".
Plankton: "Me Two"? (to self) I'm such a deep sea dope! Now that the copy's gone in contact with the original SpongeBob, he won't tell me the formula. (the SpongeCopy launches Plankton out of his ear) Time to abjust my plan.
Mr. Krabs: (opens the door and Plankton flies out) Wait a minute! I can't afford two SpongeBobs. If this is a scheme to collect two paychecks, forget about it! You're getting one paycheck split in two.
SpongeBob and SpongeBob Copy: You are too good to us, Mr. Krabs.
(cut to the Chum Bucket)
Plankton: Karen, did you know you're married to a genius?
Karen: How could I forget? You had it tattooed on my hard drive.
Plankton: Now where was I? Oh yeah! I saved SpongeBob's digital DNA. (prints another SpongeBob copy, squirts toner on it, and it comes to life)
SpongeBob Copy 2: Ooh! (puts Plankton in his mouth)
Karen: No, no, SpongeCopy. We don't put dirty, nasty things in our mouth. Spit it out. (the SpongeBob copy spits him out)
Plankton: Yuck! Now listen. Your name is SpongeBob SquarePants and you're to go straight to Mr. Krabs and ask him for the secret formula.
SpongeBob Copy 2: Mr. Krabs, secret formula. Got it.
Plankton: And stay away from any other SpongeBob!
SpongeBob Copy 2: Got it. (puts Plankton in his mouth again)
Karen: Ah, ah! SpongeCopy. (the copy spits Plankton out)
Plankton: You see, this is why I never had children.
(cut to the Krusty Krab)
Squidward: (looking at the two SpongeBobs) Yep. I'm still dreaming. (walks up to a customer eating his Krabby Patty) Hello there. Are you enjoying my dream? (knocks the customer's patty on the floor) I heard you like your patties ground! (the customer snivels)
Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward! What the devilfish do you think you're doing?!
Squidward: Isn't it obvious, you red-faced tightwad? I'm dreaming! (pulls Mr. Krabs' pants down) What's that under there?
Mr. Krabs: Under where?
Squidward: That's right. (knocks Mr. Krabs away) I don't care! I don't care! None of this is real! (takes his hat off and stomps it) Hmm. I always wanted to fly, and since this is my dream, I'm going to fly! (frantically runs out of the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob Copy 2: (enters Mr. Krabs' office) Hello, Mr. Krabs. Hey, can you tell me the secret Krabby Patty formula?
Mr. Krabs: You want me to tell you the formula? That's quite a responsibility, laddie.
SpongeBob Copy 2: Secret formula.
Mr. Krabs: Well, you make a good point. Lean in boy.
Plankton: (watches them through a telescope) He's doing it! He knows the formula! I can taste triumph! Wait... no! No!
SpongeBob Copy 2: Secret formula... secret formula... secret formula... (the other two SpongeBobs bring him into the kitchen)
SpongeBob: Hey, look! Another handsome devil! (laughs) We'll call you "Me Three"! (the three SpongeBobs laugh) Let's go flip some patties.
Plankton: Neptune's puddle. Now that SpongeBob 's been corrupted by the other two! What I need is a legion of Bobs. A full-lined blitz cream of Bobs! (cut to Plankton playing a snare drum) March. March my my pretties ad learn the formula! (many SpongeBob copies march out of the Chum Bucket and into Mr. Krabs' office)
SpongeBob copies: (chanting) Secret formula!
Mr. Krabs: Whoa! You guys are multiplying faster than me money. Alright, pipe down! I'm only gonna tell you the secret formula one more time.
SpongeBob copies: One more time! (they walk out)
Mr. Krabs: So, you've all memorized the formula. Now get to work! I have to calculate paychecks.
SpongeBob copies: Hooray! (they start working)
Plankton: They all know the formula!
SpongeBob Copy 4: (works at the grill) Let me do that.
SpongeBob: Okay, thanks.
SpongeBob Copy 5: (grabs a mop) Let me do that.
SpongeBob: Sure! (grabs a pickle jar. Another copy grabs it)
SpongeBob Copy 6: I'll polish the pickles!
SpongeBob: (to SpongeBob Copy 2) Looks like you sponges have everything covered.
SpongeBob Copy: Mm-hmm! (turns pale)
SpongeBob: Hey, you don't look so good. Can I take you home? Where do you live?
SpongeBob Copy: I came from the Chum Bucket.
SpongeBob: The Chum Bucket?
Plankton: (prancing to the Krusty Krab) I'm gonna know the formula. I'm gonna know the formula.
SpongeBob: (stops him) Plankton! Me Two says you made him in a copy machine so that you could steal the secret formula.
Plankton: Uh... well, that's patently ridiculous.
SpongeBob Copy: (moans)
SpongeBob: You gotta help him! I think he's sick or something.
SpongeBob Copy: I feel funny. (rolls up like a blind and disappears)
SpongeBob: Me Two! Me Two? What happened to him?!
Plankton: I was afraid of that. I thought I'd save some money by using cheap toner.
SpongeBob: What does that mean?
Plankton: It means my plan is ruined. All the SpongeBob copies will fade away, now!
SpongeBob: Fade away? All my brand new friends? (starts bawling) No! They can't! (embraces a copy, who is mopping) Don't disappear! (the copy disappears. SpnogeBob cries)
Plankton: (to one of the copies) Quickly man, before you fade. What's the formula?
SpongeBob Copy 7: It's easy! You take one bar- I don't feel so good. (disappears)
Plankton: Wait! No! (asks the other copies, which disappear) You man, the formula! The formula! The formula! The formula! (all the other working copies disappear at once)
Patrick: (playing with some of the copies. They disappear) Life is but a walking shadow. (rolls around laughing. A lawnmower shreads him into smaller Patricks)
Plankton: (to the last SpongeBob copy) What's the formula?
Mr. Krabs: (enters with a wheelbarrow full of paychecks, crushing Plankton) Well, I did it. I calculated 1 paycheck down into 300 seperate tiny checks. Only one of you left? Here. (gives a check to the copy, who disappears)
Plankton: Jeez, what a cheapskate. (walks out) I can't believe I failed again!
SpongeBob: I can believe it.
Plankton: Wait, are you a copy? Quick! What's the formula?
SpongeBob: Well, you see, it's... (reveals himself) Nice try, Plankton. But I'm the O.S. The original sponge! (sighs) I can't believe they're all gone.
Plankton: You wouldn't want all those copies of you around. They were just imitations anyway.
SpongeBob: Hey, those imitations were my friends.
Plankton: One SpongeBob is more than the world can handle anyway. You're a unique snowflake.
SpongeBob: Yeah. Thanks, Plankton. Things did get a bit out of hand with all those me's around.
Plankton: Yeah, you're pretty annoying. Well, you can stomp on me now if that's what you want.
SpongeBob: Plankton, I'm a unique snowflake, and snowflakes don't stomp. They skip! (happily skips away, laughing)
Plankton: Well, what do you know about that. No comeuppance!
Squidward: (running towards Plankton, still trying to fly) Gaining speed, increasing thrust, raising nose, air pressure on tentacles, stray tables in right position, and liftoff! (leaps into the air)
Plankton: (moans) I spoke too soon. Comeuppance in 3, 2... (Squidward lands on top of him) Ow! Right on my keys!