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Larry's Gym

(Episode opens with a crowd of fish attending the grand opening of Larry's Gym)
Larry (with megaphone): What you see before you is the culmination of my lifelong dream! A place of my own where I can work out everyday and anytime I want, Larry's Gym!
(Crowd cheers. Larry grabs some scissors and cuts the ribbon by the doors. Larry then throws the scissors off to the side.)
Larry: Looking out at this sea of placid muscles and sagging flesh. Frankly, I'm disgusted.
(The crowd turns into a group of overweight fish. They groan.)
Larry: Therefore, I am opening the gym to everyone in Bikini Bottom!
(Crowd turns back to normal when they cheer)
Larry: For the price of a lifetime membership. (points at a station where a huge stack of paper awaits them. Crowd groans)
Larry: But today, everything is free!
(Crowd cheers once again and they all run inside.)
Larry's #1 Fan: Shape us and mold us in your image!
Frankie Billy (with scissors punctured in his head): You're the lobster, Larry! The Alpha Lobster!
Larry: Well, I don't know if I'll say that! (buffs up)
Fish #1: Oh, I filled out a membership form! (sticks form between Larry's chest)
Nat: Me too! (hands form to Larry)
Larry (points at pink box): What's in that pink box?
Nat: Uh, donuts, sir.
(Larry punches the box of donuts right out of Nat's hands)
Larry: DO-NUT brings those in there! In the meantime, enjoy yourself because your first visit is free!
(Mr. Krabs magically appears out of nowhere)
Mr. Krabs: Is it true that everything is free?
Larry: That's right, sir! For your first visit, we-
(Mr. Krabs dashes into the gym)
Larry: Hello? In conclusion, I'm at your service to turn anyone, ANYONE, into a ripped heap of muscle glory! (buffs up again)
(SpongeBob is struggling to open the gym doors)
Larry: Boy, I've got my work cut out for me.
(SpongeBob loses his arms)
Larry: These doors are automatic. Just step on the mat.
SpongeBob: Oh!
(SpongeBob steps on the mat but the door won't open.)
Larry: (steps on mat, which opens the door) Here!
SpongeBob: Ah, thanks, Larry!
(Larry sighs and shakes his head. Mr. Krabs is carrying an exercise bike as he leaves the gym.)
Larry: Uh, what are you doing?
Mr. Krabs: You said everything was free!
(Larry laughs)
Larry: No, no. Your first visit is free!
Mr. Krabs: So what you're saying is if I never leave, it will be free forever!
(Mr. Krabs goes back into the gym. Larry then laughs)
Larry: Time to go live the dream! Right after I file this paperwork.
(Close up of paperwork)
Larry (while reading the paperwork): I didn't think there'd be so much of it.
(Larry puts his head on the desk)
SpongeBob: Excuse me, Larry. I was just working out and I was wondering, is this normal?
(SpongeBob points down at his legs, which appear to be twisted)
Larry: Ah! Even your cramps have cramps! You need to follow my number 1 rule. (pulls out a bottle of water) Always be hydrated!
(Larry gives SpongeBob the water bottle. SpongeBob drinks it and his legs are straight again.)
SpongeBob: Gee, Larry. You think I'll ever be as strong as you?
Larry: Sure! (picks up SpongeBob) What kind of gym owner would I be if couldn't take a puny, squishy lump like you? (SpongeBob slides out of Larry's claw)
SpongeBob (giggles): Squishy!
Larry: What I'm saying is, I can make you a man!
SpongeBob: Hooray!
Larry: I'm gonna make you my personal project! Of course, you'll have to sign up for a lifetime membership.
(Larry gives SpongeBob a stack of papers)
SpongeBob: I'm ready!
(SpongeBob falls and he struggles to pick up a pencil.)
Larry: That reminds me, you need to start hydrating right now!
(SpongeBob is filling out all of the paperwork. He then becomes very tired)
SpongeBob: Yes, sir. (drinks some water)
Larry: And remember, ALWAYS BE HYDRATING!
SpongeBob: Okay, I will! (chugs water)
Larry: That's what I'd like to see! Come on, we'll finish those later.
SpongeBob: Good, ‘cause I was really crashing those papers. (walks with Larry) Feelin' the burn? Is that what you'd like to call it? I'd heard angels singing. Beautiful angels. That's normal, right?
Frank: It's Larry, king of the gym!
(crowd cheers)
Larry: Oh, you guys. I'm just an ordinary Alpha Lobster doing his job. TOWEL BOY!
(a fish with towels rushes toward Larry. Larry gives him a crown)
Larry: Polish this crown for me. Will you?
Mr. Krabs: Hey! Join us, boy! Ho-ho! I can't believe I'm allowed to lift these…(lifts a very heavy barbell) really heavy pieces of metal for free!
(Barbell causes Mr. Krabs' arms to snap off, and the barbell falls onto his chest)
Mr. Krabs: Ow!
(Mr. Krabs' shell breaks, which leaves his pink skin exposed.)
Mr. Krabs: Free…
SpongeBob: I don't know, Larry. I'm not good at lifting things.
Narrator: Flashback…
(SpongeBob is struggling to lift a bag of snail food for Gary, Mabel's groceries, his pillow while he goes to bed, and even his own arms.)
Narrator: End of flashback.
Larry: Let me see. I may have something that will work for you.
(Larry opens a cabinet full of health-related supplies. He picks up a box of cotton swabs)
Larry: Here we go. (closes cabinet)
Larry: (takes out one cotton swab) Cotton swabs. (takes out two cotton balls) Cotton balls. Here. Try this on for size, Hercules.
(Larry drops the cotton swab with cotton balls on it. SpongeBob struggles to lift it, which causes his arms to fall off)
SpongeBob: How am I doing?
Larry (shakes head): Pathetic.
SpongeBob (with jug of water in mouth): Look, Larry. I'm hydrating! Oh, I am hydrating so much! (chugs the jug of water)
Larry: Yeah, I've got another idea, SpongeBob. Come with me.
(SpongeBob regrows his arms and follows Larry. The two enter another exercise room)
Larry: First thing tomorrow morning, this is gonna be where I lead my exercise class.
SpongeBob: I'll be there!
Larry: That's the spirit! And we're gonna get you started early! (eyes pop out) LEMME SEE SOME CRUNCHES!
(SpongeBob is crunching on some Kelpo. He puts another handful in his mouth and crunches on it.)
Larry: The only thing that I want to see in your mouth is that water bottle!
(Larry shoves a giant jug of water in SpongeBob's mouth. SpongeBob proceeds to drink it.)
Larry: What did I tell you? Always. BE HYDRATING! Now I'll show you some crunches!
(Larry does some crunches)
SpongeBob: Oh, I can do that! That's what I do when I laugh. (laughs and does some stand-up "crunches") Only now I will do it on my back!
(SpongeBob spins and lands on his back. He continues to laugh and do crunches)
Larry: Could you do it without the laugh?
SpongeBob: I won't lie to you, Larry. Probably not. (laughs and spins his feet)
Larry: Whatever works, I guess. Keep up with that and most importantly,-
SpongeBob: Always be hydrating! (sticks jug of water in one of his holes and continues to laugh and do crunches)
Larry: (sighs) Okay...I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on. (walks away)
(Bubble transition to Mr. Krabs, who is rubbing a towel in between his legs)
Mr. Krabs: Free towels! Free towels! Free towels! Free towels! Free towels! Free!
(zooms out to Larry's desk)
Larry: (disgusted, as he does paperwork) Do you have to do that in front of me?
Mr. Krabs: Yes. Yes I do! (lets go of the towel, which lands on Larry's face) Because I sincerely want to thank you for a truly life-changing experience! SUCKER! (laughs and walks away)
(Larry tries to pick up the towels that were left on the ground, but he hurts his back. Larry's stomach also expands. Mr. Krabs is seen behind the corner, right where there is a sign that points to the showers)
Mr. Krabs: Nice potbelly!
Larry: Pot...belly? (touches belly)
(SpongeBob is laughing again)
Larry: Yep, I forgot my protégé! (Larry opens the door to the exercise room. He then is shocked to see SpongeBob)
Larry: Oh my Neptune!
(Bubble transition to the Krusty Krab. Inside, many customers, including Bubble Bass, are waiting for their food to arrive. Squidward is sitting at the cashier stand, and there is smoke coming out of the kitchen window. SpongeBob tries to make some Krabby Patties, but everything he touches gets crushed because he is too strong)
SpongeBob: Aw, that's gonna come out of my paycheck. (attempts to flip a Krabby Patty, but he ends up flipping the stove, which causes part of the roof to break. The stove lands on Frankie Billy's boat.)
Frankie Billy: MY LEGS! (boat explodes) I'm okay! (stove lands right on Frankie Billy) Slightly less okay!
Squidward: SpongeBob!
(SpongeBob walks through the wall)
SpongeBob: Yeah?
Squidward: What are you...whoa! You've been working out.
SpongeBob: Yeah, I hope you have glue for me because I am RIPPED!
(SpongeBob muscle punches Squidward's face. His 6-pack becomes 6 sponges, and one of his leg muscles becomes a solid gold bar. His nose starts to reflex)
Squidward: Yes! Anything, you meathead! Just go before you destroy this place! (SpongeBob runs away)
(Bubble transition to the gym. Larry, who is extremely overweight, is still doing his paperwork)
SpongeBob: Larry?
(Larry throws his paperwork in the air)
SpongeBob: Gee, Larry, you've really let yourself go.
Larry: With all of this paperwork, I haven't had any time to do my crunches! The only thing I've been crunching is numbers! But I'm gonna get back in shape. You'll see!
SpongeBob: Yeah, Larry! Sure you will!
Larry: SpongeBob, tell me the truth. (shows SpongeBob his belly) Do I have a potbelly?
(SpongeBob freaks out)
SpongeBob: No, Larry. Don't be silly. You don't have a potbelly. (tries not to laugh)
Larry: (groans) See you in exercise class, I guess.
(SpongeBob goes to the exercise room, and Larry starts to cry. As he cries, tears fill up his belly. Mr. Krabs walks in, wearing his normal clothes)
Mr. Krabs: Oh boy, free soup! (tastes a little bit of Larry's tears) Little heavy on the salt.
(Bubble transition to the exercise room. Inside, some fish are getting ready for class)
SpongeBob: Oh, he'll be here! Don't worry. Larry made me the man I am today. (flexes)
(The crowd whispers in amazement)
SpongeBob: He taught me just to do stuff you always do, but do it on your back! Laugh on your back! (SpongeBob laughs and does crunches)
(The crowd does the same thing as SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: (laying down and moving his legs in the air) Walk on your back!
(crowd does the same thing)
SpongeBob: And don't forget, (shows his water bottle) always be hydrating! That means drinking plenty of water. (pours water on his head)
(the crowd does the same thing)
SpongeBob: I hope Larry's okay. While we're waiting, I guess we could ride bicycles on our backs!
(SpongeBob and the crowd pretend to ride bicycles on their backs. Through the exercise room window, a sad Larry is watching. His belly causes the window to crack. Larry walks right by the steam room, where Mr. Krabs can be seen)
Mr. Krabs: Hey Larry. Thanks for all the free steam! (laughs) Sucker! (slams door)
(Larry sighs and walks back to his desk. He drinks some coffee and attempts to break a pencil. Since he is out of shape, he can't break it. He then attempts to lift a pencil with a donut on each end)
Larry: What's the use? (eats part of a donut)
(Larry's face falls flat on the desk)
Larry: Who am I kidding?
(SpongeBob arrives on an exercise bike)
SpongeBob: You wanted to see me sir?
Larry: Yeah. (eats the last donut) Look, you are obviously the alpha male at the gym now and I'm just a shell of my former self.
SpongeBob: I hear ya, Larry. I just wanna get back to the Krusty Krab.
Larry: I need you to take over. You're a natural leader, SpongeBob. (puts crown on SpongeBob's head) You should be in charge of the fun stuff while I sit here in the reception area slowly getting fatter and paler until I die.
SpongeBob: Sounds great.
(Larry starts to cry)
SpongeBob (also starting to cry): Oh, Larry. Look at me. I'm too big to work the grill anymore! That makes me sad.
Larry: Come over here and give me a bro-hug.
(Crown slides over SpongeBob's head)
SpongeBob: You mean a brug?
Larry: I don't wanna call it that.
SpongeBob: Here's to our new lives. Our terrible, terrible new lives!
(Larry and SpongeBob start to cry. As they hug and cry, water starts to leave SpongeBob's body. He starts to shrink)
Larry: Dude, you were just overhydrated! Those weren't real muscles, they were water muscles!
SpongeBob: Larry, your brug was super strong! It took the water muscles right out of me!
Larry: Don't say brug.
SpongeBob: (laughs) Brug. (laughs again)
(SpongeBob slides off Larry's claws and he starts to laugh and do crunches again. Larry does the same thing, and he starts to become back to normal)
Larry: SpongeBob, laughing on my back was just what I needed! You're a pretty good instructor after all! (flexes) oh boy, the way you laugh really gets on my nerves.
Narrator: The very next evening…
(Nighttime at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties)
Squidward: Well, that was the last customer, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Ah, what a great day!
Squidward: And you know why it was a great day? Because Krabs never even showed up!
(scene changes to Larry's Gym, getting ready to close for the night. Larry walks by the steam room)
Larry: Huh? (sniffs) What's that smell? Mr Krabs, how long have you been in there?
(tears open the door)
Mr. Krabs (shown as a cooked crab on a plate, with melted butter on the side): I think I'm done! Would you mind rubbin' a little butter on me?
End