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Company Picnic

Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: MrTortellini00

(Opens at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is playing with a family made of meat having a picnic on the grill)
Herb: Sure is a nice day for a picnic!
Loretta: Oh Herb! It's like a second honeymoon!
Herb: Just look at Timmy and Sally throwing the old disk around.
Timmy: C'mon on and throw it sis!
Sally: I just wanna say I'm gonna be real sad when you go off to college.
Timmy: Oh Sally! Don't be such a goof! (sobbing) You know I'll always be your big brother. (SpongeBob's tears drip on the grill)
Loretta: Is it starting to rain?
Herb: Nothing can spoil this perfect day!
Sally: What's the matter big brother? Got something into your eye?
Timmy: (a tear falls of from his eye) Yeah, that's it! There must be it.
Sally: Haha! Now who's the goof? Just watch out because here it comes. Yay! (SpongeBob makes her throw a pickle)
Squidward: Oh, what now? Too much whee-ing… What is… (the pickle hits his eye) Ahh! Pickle juice! My eye! (Picks up hot sauce and squirts it in his eye. The eye catches fire) Ahhhhh!
Mr. Krabs: (holding an extinguisher) I smell something burning.
Squidward: Yeah, probably my eye.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, stop your drama Squidward (blows the extinguisher all over Squidward)
Squidward: You missed a spot (Mr. Krabs blows the extinguisher on him three times then walks into the kitchen blows the extinguisher on the grill)
Mr. Krabs: What in the name of Neptune's tail fin is going on in here boy?
SpongeBob: I'm playing picnic with my wonderful little food friends, Herb and Loretta. These are their kids Timmy and Sally.
Mr. Krabs: Mhm. Sounds to me like you're just wasting me precious ingredients! Listen SpongeBob, just cause there are no costumers doesn't mean you can't do something productive.
SpongeBob: Like what Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Well, I mean, you could… oh! You could dust the pickles! You could alphabetize the buns! You could… water down the ketchup!
SpongeBob: At this point it would be ketchuping up the water.
Mr. Krabs: Whatever. Now, if these little fellers could work, maybe you'll be onto something. Hey, you couldn't make me a tiny little army of unpaid workers, could ya?
SpongeBob: I could try. (makes a worker made of meat) Here's a little worker! We'll call him Pete.
Mr. Krabs: Ohohohoh! Hi Pete! (Pete droops) Hey! What's wrong with Pete? He's not working!
SpongeBob: Maybe Pete is just tired.
Mr. Krabs: Well now that shouldn't interfere with Pete's work.
SpongeBob: Well, I don' know Mr. Krabs (draws a line going down on a productivity chart with ketchup) It might affect his productivity.
Mr. Krabs: (gasps) No! Not his productivity!
SpongeBob: Hey, maybe if Pete could go on a picnic like the patty family it might be rested and happy and more productive than ever!
Mr. Krabs: (gasps) No! Not living the workplace for pleasure!
SpongeBob: Hey! Maybe Pete's boss could have a company picnic and Pete would have a great time and relax and come back and work twice as hard!
Mr. Krabs: Company picnic? (Pete comes back up)
SpongeBob: See? Look, he's already perking up!
Mr. Krabs: Gee SpongeBob! You think if I throw a picnic your productivity would increase?
SpongeBob: Definitely!
Squidward: (walks into the kitchen) What's going on in here?
Mr. Krabs: Just in time Mr. Squidward! You're about to go on… the greatest company picnic ever! (laughs)
SpongeBob: Yeah! (high-fives with Mr. Krabs, while Plankton is spying on them with his telescope)
Plankton: A company Picnic, hey? That gives me an idea, hehe. (Cut to Jellyfish Fields where the Krusty Krab crew is having their company picnic)
Squidward: This is the greatest company picnic ever?
Mr. Krabs: Yes! Yes it is!
SpongeBob: Pace yourself Squidward! The fun is just getting started!
Squidward: Is this toilet paper we're sitting on?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, don't think of it as just toilet paper. It has thousands of uses.
SpongeBob: (Puts on a hat made of toilet paper) Here's one!
Squidward: (makes a disappointed look) Well, I guess things will pick up once the food gets here.
Mr. Krabs: Right you are! Here's the food! (shows a plate full of ketchup, mustard and mayo packets.)
Squidward: What? (grabs a mustard packet)
Mr. Krabs: Oh, you're confused. Let me show you, you little hack. (takes the mustard packet) See, you open it with your teeth. (squirts the mustard on a paper plate) There. Isn't that fun? And afterwards, you can toss it around like, uh, you know, one of those things you toss around. Here, let me show ya.(takes the mustard frisbee) Go out for a long one, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Going long! (runs far away)
Mr. Krabs: Oh, this is so much fun.
SpongeBob: (stops) Is this far enough?
Mr. Krabs: I can't hear what you're saying! So… here it comes! (throws the mustard frisbee on Squidward's face) Hmh. Heh, I don't see it anywhere.
Squidward: (has mustard all over his face) I'm going home. (starts to leave but Mr. Krabs stops him)
Mr. Krabs: Oh, no you're not! You're going to sit right there and enjoy yourself until your productivity increases!!
SpongeBob: (comes back and sees that Squidward has mustard on his face) Oh boy! Face painting! Great idea, Mr. Krabs! (takes a ketchup packet) Here, let me try. (makes a ketchup mask and shapes his nose like Barnacle Boy's nose) Hi! I'm Barnacle Boy! (Him and Mr. Krabs both laugh)
Mr. Krabs: Well, we sure had our fun in games today. But just maybe we've learnt a little something too. About each other, and ourselves. I think you'd have to say, this was the greatest…
Squidward: Do not say it!
Mr. Krabs: The greatest compa…
Squidward: Don't!
Mr. Krabs: (a background with a rainbow, jellyfish and seahorses pops up) The greatest company picnic ever!!! (they heard music from a bus which is coming towards them) Well, looks like we've got company.
SpongeBob: Well Mr. Krabs, it is a company picnic. (laughs)
Squidward: Well, this is more like it! You've been holding out on us Mr. Krabs. You ol' devil.
Mr. Krabs: I have? What? Oh, yeah, mhm (the bus stops in front of them. Reads "Chumpany Picnic" on the bus) Chumpany Picnic? That's not how you spell company picnic!
Plankton: (honks) Guess who!
Mr. Krabs: (notices that Plankton was driving the bus) Plankton! (Plankton comes out the bus) Just what do you think you're doing Plankton?
Plankton: What do you mean? I'm having my company picnic. This is our spot.
Mr. Krabs: Oh yeah? Well it's my spot now!
Plankton: Come now, can't we all just share? Nothing should spoil this perfect day.
SpongeBob: Aww!
Mr. Krabs: You don't even have any employees!
SpongeBob: Aww…
Plankton: Sure I do! (two robots looking like SpongeBob and Squidward come out the bus) Those are my new hirers Simmy and Tally. Just look at them tossing the disk around. (Simmy tosses the disk at Tally but he doesn't try to catch it)
SpongeBob: A real disk?
Mr. Krabs: Ah! Go on SpongeBob! Show this upstart how we chuck the old mustard plate around!
SpongeBob: Well…
Plankton: You're all welcome to join us of course. There is plenty of fun for all!
SpongeBob: No thanks Plankton. We're having a great time at our own company picnic. (Squidward is getting chased by jellyfish. Sees Simmy and Tally holding a chest) Hey Plankton! What are Simmy and Tally up to?
Plankton: Oh, just setting up the rest of the activities! The cotton candy machine, hot-roasted sea nuts, games of chance, bottles you can knock over to win a prize, the world's most exciting rollercoaster, a deep fryer for delicacies…
Squidward: Delicacies!?
Plankton: And of course the dunking booth! (Tally hits the target. Sammy falls into water and explodes) Uh! Have you seen the calliope? (turns SpongeBob where Tally is playing a calliope)
SpongeBob: Aww!
Mr. Krabs: Now look here Plankton! Me loyal employees will never be taken in by such a shallow display of…
Squidward: One side, chubby:
(Squidward shoves his while running to Plankton's picnic, causing his shell to come off his body) Uhh!? (Squidward eats a lot of cotton candy and sea nuts)
SpongeBob: Yum!
Mr. Krabs: (tries to put his shell back) Is this backwards? Ow! No, that's not it either.
Plankton: You were saying Krabs?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs is right Plankton! We're having lots of fun! Come on Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, would you mind helping me with my zipper? (SpongeBob zips his shell and both come back to their picnic. They see Squidward being on the rollercoaster)
SpongeBob: Who needs them? Right Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Uh? Yeah, sure. (they heard Squidward having fun)
SpongeBob: Do you want me to paint your face?
Mr. Krabs: Well, I don't know.
SpongeBob: (squirts mayonnaise on Mr. Krabs to make a beard) Alright, I'm making you into a… a ghost.
Mr. Krabs: (smells the mayo) I think this mayo is gone bad.
SpongeBob: Ooh! The ghost of mayonnaise is bad! That really scares people.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah. (chuckles)
Simmy: Woah! Stop! That is almost too much cotton candy! (Tally drops a huge cotton candy stick on him, causing him to explode)
Mr. Krabs: (takes off his mayo beard) You want to join in all that fun over there with Mr. Squidward, don't ya?
SpongeBob: (nervously) No, of course not!
Mr. Krabs: Are you sure you don't want to?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I'm staying right here at the Krusty Krab picnic!
Mr. Krabs: Are you sure?
SpongeBob: 100% sure Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: Well okay then. I'm outta here! See ya! (runs to Plankton's picnic. He spins the wheel of chance and wins) I win! (Tally gives him a walrus plush. He then throws a ball and hits all the bottles. He wins a second walrus plush) You can never have too many! (Squidward arrives from the rollercoaster) Hey, Squiddyber!
SpongeBob: (tries to have fun with the mustard plate) Having lots of fun over here! I got a plate! It's made of paper. (Squidward and Mr. Krabs are having fun) It's a paper plate. (throws the plate and hears Squidward and Mr. Krabs laughing together) Well, if it's good nuff for Mr. Krabs it's good enough for me. (walks to join Plankton's picnic)
Squidward: I have to say it, Mr. Plankton. If this is the way you treat your employees…
Plankton: Say no more my friend. If you'd care to work for me (shows a contract) just sign this contract with this delicious candy pen.
Mr. Krabs: Ooh! Me first! Me first! (takes the contract and a pen and starts to read)
Plankton: Oh, don't bother to read it! Not on such a fun day!
Mr. Krabs: That's such great advice! (Squidward is sucking his candy pen)
Plankton: This is working far better than I planned! With Krabs as my employee, I can order him to give me the Krabby Patty formula and the Krusty Krab will be no more! (laughs)
SpongeBob: Ahem! Hello Plankton!
Plankton: Uh-Oh.
SpongeBob: (sees that Mr. Krabs is going to sign the contract) Mr. Krabs! Don't sign it! (jumps on Mr. Krabs)
Mr. Krabs: (drops his candy pen) My candy pen! (the pen is heading straight into Simmy's eye)
SpongeBob: (in slow-motion) Simmy! Look out! There is a candy pen headed straight through your eye due to my act of swatting it away without first considering the trajectory! Oh, I wish I can get my words out faster but everything is in slow motion! (the pen is getting closer to Simmy's eye) Nooooooo!
(the pen goes the eye and rolls in front of a projector. SpongeBob turns off the projector, revealing that Simmy was just a trash bin and Tally was just a ball washer)
SpongeBob: Simmy and Tally are holograms!? Then that means… (the rollercoaster is revealed to be a dead sea dragon)
Squidward: I was riding that!? What about those delicacies I was eating? (the cotton candy is revealed to be chum and the pen he was sucking is revealed to be a caterpillar) Bleargh! (scrapes the rests of chum away from his tongue. The bus Plankton came with is in reality broken. The walrus plushies seem unchanged)
Mr. Krabs: Phew, that was… (The two plushies are revealed to be two fish skeletons) Ahh! (to SpongeBob) You saved me boy! How did you do it?
SpongeBob: I guess my mind was all sharp from the relaxing fun I had at your company picnic, Mr. Krabs.
Plankton: Unbelievable! Uh-Oh. (Mr. Krabs puts him on a mustard plate and tosses him away. Plankton screams and an explosion can be seen. SpongeBob jumps and the background with jellyfish, a rainbow and seahorses pops out) The greatest company picnic ever!
Mr. Krabs: Alright, enough relaxing! Back to work. (laughs. Squidward gets stung by a jellyfish)