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Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: Amphitrite

(open at Bikini Bottom Prison)
Narrator: Bikini Bottom Prison. Home of the worst of the worst and currently of that miscreant Plankton. Otherwise known as "Number 6-5-5-3-2-1".
Prison Guard #1: All inmates to A-level! Come on, Number 6-5-5-3-2-1, let's move it!
Plankton: Yeah, yeah. Keep your shirt on.
SpongeBob: Psst. Hey Sheldon.
Plankton: SpongeBob? What in the sea shell are you doing here?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs arranged for me to work here on weekends. He wants me to keep an eye on you.
Plankton: Excuse me. Doesn't this count as cruel and unusual punishment?
Prison Guard #1: Pipe down, Pipsqueak!
SpongeBob: (takes out a toy police baton) Look! They even gave me a training baton! (nudges Plankton with police baton)
(cut to the prison visiting room)
SpongeBob: Hi, Karen. (Karen sends in a cake. SpongeBob picks up Plankton) Look, Plankton. Karen came to visit, and she brought you cake!
Plankton: Do you mind?
SpongeBob: Oh, I'll be over there. (leaves)
Plankton: So, honey. Is "you-know-what" inside?
Karen: You mean flour, sugar, milk, and eggs.
Plankton: No, no. (whispering) The secret ingredient?
Karen: Oh! You mean love?
Plankton: I mean, the file?
Karen: What? "The file"? Well, I'm glad you're not the baker in the family! "The file"! Who'd put that in a cake?
Plankton: (flips the cake up, hops on it, and tries to climb over the window) Karen, you've got to get me out of here! (SpongeBob takes Plankton away)
(cut to the cafeteria)
Plankton: Phew...
Prisoner #1: You gonna eat that?
Plankton: I'm not even sure what that is.
Prisoner #1: Thanks. (eats some of Plankton's food)
Plankton: Wait a second! I didn't say you could-
Prisoner #2: You gonna drink that? Thanks. (takes Plankton's milk)
Plankton: Hey! (grabs milk) I need that for my bones! (loses grip, and falls into his beans)
SpongeBob: Tsk-tsk-tsk. Someone didn't finish their beans.
Prisoner #3: That's my beans.
SpongeBob: Oh. Well, enjoy.
(the prisoner uses spoon to pick up the beans with Plankton in them)
Plankton: Wait. Put me down! Uh oh... (gets eaten by prisoner) You can't eat me! I'm Bikini Bottom's most evil genius!
Prisoner #1: (to prisoner #3) Hey, what did you just say?
Plankton: (from inside prisoner #3's mouth) I said I'm Plankton, blast it!
Prisoner #1: You ain't Plankton! (jerks up prisoner #3 by shirt, causing him to swallow Plankton) We're all fans of that maniacal little miscreant!
(other prisoners crowd prisoner #3)
Prisoner #1: (shows a tattoo on his arm) That's Plankton. And you don't look anything like him.
Plankton: Hey, I'm in here! I'm Plankton.
Prisoner #1: Okay, that does it. Here comes the pain. (slow motion. Gets ready to punch prisoner #3 in the stomach)
Plankton: Are we at the airport? (prisoner #3 gets punched, sending Plankton flying out, hits a wall, and the file knocks out his teeth. Falls on the floor) Ahem. Hey! Gather 'round, fellow convicts. It is I, the one and only Sheldon J. Plankton. Evil genius.
Prisoners: (gasps) It's him! It's him!
Plankton: Now, let me get this straight. You low-lives respect me?
Prisoner #1: Are you kidding? You're criminal royalty. Every crime you've committed is more dangerous than the last!
Prisoner #2: You're the worst guy in this joint. And that means you're the greatest in our eyes.
Plankton: (laughs evilly) With this pack of criminals, I can steal the secret formula like that.
(cut to the outside of the building)
Plankton: Okay, gang. We need to bust out of this joint. Any thoughts?
Prisoner #3: We could wait on parole.
Prisoner #4: We could ask them nicely.
Plankton: Yeah, I can see why you're still in jail. Think, people! We need a plan.
Prisoner #5: We could bust out of here in no time. If only we had some chum.
Prisoner #1: Yeah! Chum.
Prisoner #3: That's what we need!
Plankton: Yeah. Good ol' chum. (pause) Say what now?
Prisoner #5: Chum is amazing!
Prisoner #4: That's why you're our hero.
Prisoner #2: You're the creator of chum.
Plankton: Chum? What use is chum?
Prisoner #1: It makes a great disguise.
(flashback to a supermarket. Prisoner #1 takes out a bucket of chum, and puts it on his face) It's working. It's twisting my appearance. (runs inside the supermarket)
Cashier: (screams) What a hideous monster! (takes out a ton of cash) Please take this money so I don't have to look at your disgusting features! (prisoner #1's face looks like Squidward's, and laughs like him evilly as he takes the money. Flashback ends)
Prisoner #1: Yeah! Works great, until... you know... they caught me.
Plankton: Have you ever tried eating it?
Prisoner #1: Heavens, no!
Prisoner #3: You know what else chum is great for? Robbing banks! (flashback. He throws a bucket of chum in the bank, and it explodes, leaving smoke to cover up the entire room. He exits with bags of money. Flashback ends) Yeah! The stench of chum is unbearable.
Plankton: But have you tried it on a bun?
Prisoner #3: No way brother. Never! I like my tongue in one piece.
Prisoner #5: Every crook in town uses chum.
Plankton: Really? Maybe I overlooked chum's hidden potential. Fellow ne'r-do-wells, if it's chum you want, it's chum you shall have. Luckily, I happen to know the recipe. It's time for a jailbreak! (prisoners cheer)
(cut to the jail cell)
Plankton: Listen up, reprobates. Chum requires specialized ingredients of the highest quality.
Prisoner #3: Mr. Plankton? Does this meet your rigid, manufacturing standards?
Plankton: Hmmm... (to prisoner #1) You there. Sniff this sock. (he smells it, and faints) Yes. Let us begin. Cultured fungus growth medium.
Prisoner #3: Here you go, boss. (drops sock into the toilet)
Plankton: Subtropical vegetal matter.
Prisoner #1: Right here. (drops an old banana peel into the toilet)
Plankton: Organic filler.
Prisoner #2: Gotcha covered. (drops bucket of garbage and scum into the toilet)
Plankton: (to prisoner #2) Hey, you. (takes out toilet paper) Blow. (prisoner #2 blows his nose in the toilet paper) Live bacterial culture. (puts the toilet paper in the toilet) Now, to secure the containment vessel. (closes the toilet lid) Agitate primarily compound. (flushes toilet) And quality inspection. (one of the prisoners opens the toilet, which sparkles) Okay, boys. I think it's time we evacuated this institution!
Prisoners: Huh?
Plankton: (sighs) It's time to break out of prison, you dopes!
Prisoners: Oh.
SpongeBob: A jailbreak?! I've got to warn Mr. Krabs!
(cut to the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs is painting a picture of a dollar)
Mr. Krabs: Not bad. If only I could paint him smaller.
SpongeBob: (bursts inside, causing Mr. Krabs to mess up his painting) Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: What is it?
SpongeBob: Plankton is breaking out of jail, tonight. And he's coming to the Krusty Krab with a bunch of criminals to steal the Krabby Patty secret formula! What do we do?
Mr. Krabs: Tonight, eh? That doesn't leave me much time. This is going to be close, but we'll be ready for them.
(cut to Bikini Bottom Prison. A prison guard walks up to Prisoners #1 and #2)
Prison Guard #1: Whoa, there! Why are you two out of your cells?
Prisoner #1: Reggie thinks this hanky smells like kelp berries.
Prison Guard #1: Oh, he does, does he? I'll be the judge of that. (smells the handkerchief. His eyes pop out, and he faints. Prisoner #1 drags him out of sight. Plankton and the other prisoners exit the building)
Plankton: Chum. (a prisoner gives him chum) Detonator. (a prisoner gives him a detonator, which resembles a bar of soap) Is this detonator made out of soap?
Prisoner #5: I carved it myself.
Plankton: Launch me. (prisoner #5 puts Plankton in his blowholes, and launches him at the wall. Places detonator on wall and tries to run away, but gets caught in the surveillance light)
Prison Guard #2: Freeze, Plankton. Hold it right there.
Plankton: (does so. He realizes he's right next the detonator) Uh oh. (it explodes, and creates a huge hold in the wall) It worked!
Prison Guard #1: It's a jailbreak, men. Quick. To the wall, before they escape!
Prison Guards: Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! (they leap into the wall, and make a wall out of themselves) Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
Plankton: What in the name of electrolysis?!
Prison Guard #1: Nice try, prisoners, but you'll never penetrate a wall of living guards. Let's round up those escaping miscreants. (the prison guards try to move, but they're stuck) Oh, dear. I cannot move. It appears we have become ensnared in our own defenses. (the prison guards grunt)
Plankton: Oh my. That's a dilly of a pickle. Oh well. If you cannot escape through the back wall, I guess we'll have to use to front door
(the prisoners burst through the gate, carrying Plankton in a chair)
Plankton: Quickly, my fellow felons. Follow me to the Krusty Krab!
(cut to the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: (looking out window) Oh, Mr. Krabs. They're almost here!
Mr. Krabs: Don't worry, SpongeBob. We're ready for them.
Plankton: I gave you your freedom. Now, bring me the Krabby Patty formula!
Prisoners: Heave-ho! Heave-ho! (the prisoners use prisoner #5 barge into the Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: They got past me. (sees the damage done to the wall, and screams) Me restaurant!
Plankton: Yes! With my new gang of vicious convicts, you're no match for me now, Krabs! Fellow jailbirds, bring me the Krabby Patty formula.
Prisoner #5: Sorry, boss. We've looked everywhere for it. But, we can't find it.
Plankton: Did you try looking in the safe?
(the safe is right beside them)
Prisoner #5: Oh. (pulls the safe door off)
Plankton: Eureka! (laughs evilly)
Mr. Krabs: Plankton, don't do it!
Plankton: Sorry, Krabs. Nothing can stop me now. (reaches for the formula. A police officer's hand appears, and pulls down the blind with a picture of the formula)
Police: Except the law.
(he and other police officers come out of the safe)
Plankton: What's happening?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob warned me you were planning a jailbreak, so I took the precaution of hiding the entire Bikini Bottom Police Force in me safe.
Police: (nudges Plankton with his baton, guiding him out the restaurant) Come along, Plankton. It's back to jail for you. (hits Plankton too hard)
Plankton: Ow! Hey, watch where you're pointing that thing, buster!
Police: Just move along.
Mr. Krabs: Well, thanks to your hard work. The Krabby Patty recipe is safe.
SpongeBob: And you win again.
(the Krusty Krab collapses)
Mr. Krabs: Yep. I'm a winner!