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Face Freeze!

Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: CowBob RanchPants

(The episode starts off in the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting at one of the tables.)
Patrick: Thanks for having lunch with me SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Anything for my bestest buddy. There isn't any better way to spend my lunch break. (He sips a soda drink and makes a face.) Aaah.
Patrick: That's a pretty cool face. Ha. Check this one out. (He makes a face as well.)
SpongeBob: Dahahaha! I love it. What do you think of this? (SpongeBob makes another face.) Dahahaha!
Patrick: Haha! Oho hey what about this? (He makes a face and it chirps like a dolphin. They both laugh at it.)
SpongeBob: It's awesome!
(The camera moves it's attention to Mr. Krabs' door. Inside he is sleeping with his money when he hears the laughter between SpongeBob and Patrick.)
Mr. Krabs: I know that sound. It's the sound of me money being flushed down the toilet.
(Back outside of his office, SpongeBob is making another face when Mr. Krabs comes into the scene.)
Patrick: Ahahaha!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! Why aren't you manning the fryer?
(SpongeBob puts his face back to normal.)
SpongeBob: Sorry sir, I got carried away. Patrick and I were making funny faces with each other.
Patrick: Funny faces make me laugh. Ahahaha!
Mr. Krabs: What? Are you out of your liquid absorbent mind?
SpongeBob: Why? Is there something wrong?
Mr. Krabs: Haven't you ever heard the old saying; 'if you don't stop making that face, it will freeze that way?'
(Patrick jumps into SpongeBob's arms.)
SpongeBob and Patrick: Aaah! No!
Mr. Krabs: Let me tell you the story of face freeze. (Lightning strikes in the background. SpongeBob and Patrick nervously shaking.) It was a cold day in November-er and in Bikini Bottom there was a man who loved to make faces. (The scene flashbacks to Fred at his home making faces.) And the one he liked best was to stick his tongue out.
Fred: Hahaha!
Mr. Krabs: But what he really liked was sticking his tongue out at other people.
(Fred walks towards a mother and her son and blows a raspberry.)
Mother and son: Ah!
Mother: Hey, how rude.
(The two walk away as the boy cries. Fred is seen blowing raspberries at other people now.)
Mr. Krabs: And one day when he stuck his tongue out for the four hundred and forty fourth time, his face froze with his tongue sticking out. Permanently.
Old lady fish: Werido. (She walks off the screen.)
Fred with his frozen face: No. Nooo! (He sits down at a bus stop.)
Mr. Krabs: And he stayed that way for months. Until one day his tongue dried out and fell off.
(Fred's tongue does just so in the flashback.)
SpongeBob and Patrick: Oh no!
Mr. Krabs: So are you going to keep making faces boys?
(They shake their heads.)
Mr. Krabs: Good. I hope you learned your lesson. (Mr. Krabs exists the scene.)
SpongeBob: I'm glad Mr. Krabs caught us before it was too late. Let's agree to never make faces again.
Patrick: Done and done. (They handshake as the scene transitions to them walking around.)
SpongeBob: Patrick! Don't even smile. That's considered making a face.
Patrick: Right. Gotcha. No problem. Not going to make faces. No faces at all.
SpongeBob: Yeah this is *gulp* easy. How you holding up?
Patrick: Heh, fine. You?
(SpongeBob tries to hold in a face but it comes out anyways.)
SpongeBob: Dahahaha!
Patrick: Dehahaha! (He makes a face too and they laugh.)
SpongeBob: Hey. Patrick? (SpongeBob pulls out a megaphone while Patrick ignores him laughing) Patrick!
Patrick: What?
SpongeBob: Look at us, we're okay. Our faces didn't freeze.
(Patrick touches his face.)
Patrick: Gosh, you're right.
SpongeBob: Guess Mr. Krabs made a mistake. Well now that we know his tall tale isn't true, let's make lots of faces.
Patrick: You mean like this?
(They make a bunch of faces back and forth. They laugh after it.)
SpongeBob while laughing: I can't breathe! I can't breathe! (SpongeBob grabs a mirror and they look into it.) Well still no frozen faces. Let's really put this myth to the test. Let's see what happens when we hold one face for a long time.
Patrick: Yes! But how to choose just one? Um let's see. Ooh ooh, (Patrick starts forming his face) how about an eye cross and slip into an overbite. And the finishing touch. (He sticks his tongue out of his mouth.)
SpongeBob: Ohohoho, delightfully wicked my old friend. I call this one (he makes a face that looks similar to a snail) the Gary. Meow.
Patrick: Haha. Gloriously disgusting sir.
SpongeBob: Let's not keep this grotesque faces to ourselves. Let us share them with the whole wide sea!
(They run off laughing into a scene where they are sitting on a bus. Everyone else the bus is sitting towards the back in fear though as SpongeBob and Patrick laugh. Next they go inside the Goo Lagoon's ocean and people freak out.)
Fish: Hey!
(Sandy pulls up with a surfboard.)
Sandy: You two need help.
(The next setting takes place in a camping tent a few feet away from SpongeBob's pineapple. Patrick is turning a flash light on and off inside.)
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob! Hahaha!
SpongeBob: Dahahaha!
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob! Hahaha!
SpongeBob: Dahahaha!
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob! Hahaha!
SpongeBob: Dahahaha!
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob! Hahaha!
SpongeBob: Dahahaha!
Patrick: Hey SpongeBob! Hahaha!
SpongeBob: Dahahaha! It never gets old!
(The tent is ripped open by Squidward.)
Squidward: Will you mind?
SpongeBob: Mind what? Making faces? Of course we don't! (SpongeBob and Patrick laugh.)
Patrick: You got him SpongeBob! What a silly question.
SpongeBob: Let's see your turn Squidward let's see a crazy face.
Squidward: I don't want to make faces. I want to sleep.
SpongeBob: That's a good one right there. (They laugh again.)
Patrick: A good one Squidward!
Squidward: Let's try a new game. Let's combine whatever you get out of whatever it is you are doing with quiet of sleep.
SpongeBob: Interesting challenge. But let's raise the stakes even higher. Patrick I bet you can't keep that face all night while you sleep.
Patrick: Oh yeah? Watch me.
(They go to sleep.)
Squidward: Whatever works.
(Squidward walks off when the next scene shows its morning inside the tent. They wake up.)
SpongeBob: Wow Patrick, you did do that face all night.
Patrick: Actually I can't move my face at all.
SpongeBob: Oh I can't move my face either.
Patrick: Alright we did it!
SpongeBob: No Patrick, it's not alright. This means Mr. Krabs was right. Patrick we have the...face freeze. (They scream and jump through the roof of the tent.) Patrick, Sandy was right. We need help. Sandy! (They walk off.)
Patrick: Sandy!
SpongeBob: Sandy!
Patrick: Sandy!
(SpongeBob and Patrick are at the treedome now laying on a table.)
Sandy: Hmm. This may get tricky. Y'all need to relax them facial muscles. What y'all need is a massage.
SpongeBob: And you're a licensed masseuse, right Sandy?
Sandy: Well I wouldn't say "licensed". Just sit back, relax and let my gentle mammalian hands (There's a close up of her manly hands.) melt away that tension. (She starts massaging their faces.) You seem to be carrying a lot of stress in your eyeballs. (She massages SpongeBob's eyes.) Dem shoulders look way out of line. (Sandy puts Patrick's shoulders higher on his body.) You can feel them knots just melting away. Let's just see if I can finesse that jawline back into place. (She pushes back Patrick's upper lip.) Phew. Okay you two bad news first. That wicked face freeze ain't going no where. But y'all looking much more relax. (She gives them mirrors to see their even more uglier faces.)
(SpongeBob walks to the Krusty Krab.)
Mr. Krabs: Ahoy SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Hello Mr. Krabs. (SpongeBob walks with his back towards him to the kitchen and Mr. Krabs goes in as well.)
Mr. Krabs: Hey you alright boy? You look a little kiddy boppish walking into here.
SpongeBob: Feeling fine Mr. Krabs. Just grillin' and grillin'.
Mr. Krabs: Ah huh. But what's with this cubed posture? (He touches SpongeBob's head and SpongeBob knocks his claw away).
SpongeBob: Oh did you hear that? Somebody somewhere just dropped a penny.
Mr. Krabs: A penny? Where? (He exits out and searches under tables for it.)
Squidward: Let's go SpongeBob, the orders are piling up.
SpongeBob: I'm on it Squidward. (SpongeBob cuts up an onion, but the juice lands in his eyes.) Onion juice! Aaah!
Squidward: Come on SpongeBob chop chop.
SpongeBob: Okay okay. (He picks up the patties on the grill with his spatula but trips over his large bottom lip.) Gah! (He catches the hot patties with his back.) Ow! Phew. Order up! (He puts a tray of Krabby Patties through the window.)
Squidward: You deliver it I'm on break.
(SpongeBob looks out the door to see Mr. Krabs still looking for the cent.)
Mr. Krabs: Penny penny penny penny penny.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs is still distracted. Now's my chance. You order is serviced sir.
Harold: Hagh! I did not order a side of lips with my patty. (He gets up and goes.)
SpongeBob: Oh dear.
(Harold walks over to the cash register and takes money out of it.)
Harold: I'm taking my clams elsewhere. (He leaves and Krabs notices.)
Mr. Krabs: Wait come back!
SpongeBob back in the kitchen: Why? Why did I have to make a face?
Mr. Krabs: What is going on back here? Why are we loosing business?
SpongeBob: Uh how should I know? I'm just the cook in these parts.
Mr. Krabs: Face me when I'm talking to you boyo. (SpongeBob turns around with his face on the ground.) So I can see your face.
SpongeBob: Hey Mr. Krabs have you seen this? (He flips into himself.) My impersonation of a burrito.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob you better stand up this instant or-
(Patrick wants in the kitchen.)
Mr. Krabs: What?
Patrick: Oh. Is this a bad time SpongeBob?
Mr. Krabs: Oh I see what's going on here. (He picks up SpongeBob.) Aha! You just had to keep making faces didn't you? You couldn't heed me warning couldn't you?
SpongeBob: I'm sorry Mr. Krabs we thought it was just one of your old stories.
Mr. Krabs: I'm losing business because you thought I was telling one of me stories? Why this makes me so angry I could just... (His face begins to morph.) just....just... rawwrgh. No I can't move me face! I got a face freeze too.
Squidward: What is the hold up in here?
SpongeBob: Wait Squidward don't get too work up you could get the face freeze.
Squidward: Face freeze? I thought that was a myth. Ha, Krabs too? Oho this is rich. Ahaha ho. Ahahaha! Wahaha! (His face freezes up too.) Hey my face. Aah my face! Oh great look at what you've done.
Mr. Krabs: Hey Squidward has it too!
(They all laugh but Squidward.)
Squidward: Ahargha it's not funny. Stop laughing.