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Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: homestuck

(scene begins with Squidward and Patrick inside the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: Hi Squidward! What ya watchin?
(cuts to television, begins showing commercial)
News Reporter: We'll be right back.
SpongeBob: Oh, it's a commercial.
Commercial: They're new! They're...Snail Bites! (snail eating Snail Bites)
SpongeBob: Ooooh.
Squidward: (lifts remote) Here, I'll change the channel.
SpongeBob: Don't change the channel!
Commercial: (a bite is taken out of the Snail Bites logo) Snail Bites. (manly voice) SNAIL BITES!
Male Fish In Commercial: Snail Bites. (gives snail Snail Bite)
Female Fish In Commercial: Snail Bites. (gives snail Snail Bite) Snail Bites
(bite is taken out of Snail Bites logo)
Male Fish In Commercial: (snail licking face) Snail Bites.
Commercial: Snail Bites.
Female Fish In Commercial: Snail Bites. (throws Snail Bite behind her and kicks it into snails mouth)
Male Fish In Commercial: (throws Snail Bite, pet rushes towards it and eats) Snail Bites.
Commercial: They're new. They're... (whispers) Snail Bites.
Female Fish In Commercial: (gives snail a Snail Bite and kisses the snail) Snail Bites.
Commercial: (box explodes) SNAIL BITES!
Both fish: Your snail will go nuts for Snail Bites... and so will you.
(box explodes)
Commercial: Snail Bites.
SpongeBob: Did you see that, Squidward? (Squidward is gone) Snail Bites.
(cuts to Spongebob walking into his house with a bag of Snail Bites)
SpongeBob: Gary, I'm home! (closes door) Oh, Gary! You've got a big surprise coming to you.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Snail Bites. (shows Gary the box and opens it)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: It smells good? (gives Snail Bite to Gary)
Gary: (happily) Meow!
SpongeBob: Does somebody want another Snail Bite? (shows another treat) Can somebody roll over? (whispers) Roll over.
(Gary rolls over, and pants like a dog. Spongebob walks away from Gary)
SpongeBob: We'll have some more of these a little later. (Gary races towards him)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: More treats?
Gary: (meowing profusely)
SpongeBob: Well, I can't say no to my little Gare-Bear! (Spongebob gives Gary another treat, Gary jumps up to bite it)
(cuts to Gary doing preforming multiple tasks to get a treat from Spongebob)
Gary: (meowing)
SpongeBob: Gary, that's an awful lot of Snail Bites for one evening. Are you sure you want more? (Gary performing multiple tricks) Well, I suppose one more couldn't hurt. (reaches into empty box) Whoops, looks like that was the last of them Gary. We're all out. (yawning) It's probably for the best. I'm getting pretty tired anyway. I think I'll skip my nightly motivational exercise and go to straight to bed. (Gary continues meowing as Spongebob goes to bed)
Gary: (crawls into SpongeBobs bed, meowing)
SpongeBob: Gary, please! (puts pillow over head, Gary crawls into it and continues meowing)
Gary: Meow, meow, meow!
SpongeBob: Gary Wilson, Jr., I promise you we will get more treats tomorrow! Now, please, let me (yawns) sleep. (Goes back to bed)
Gary: (meowing loudly)
SpongeBob: (gets out of bed) Gary! It is 4:00 in the morning! What exactly do you want from me?!
(Gary climbs onto wall, uses slime to spell TREATS)
Gary: Meow.
(cuts to Spongebob and Gary going to the pet store)
SpongeBob: Gary, this is ridiculous! See? The pet store won't be open for hours. Not to mention it's freezing out here! Can't we just go home and come back in the morning?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I just can't say no to my little Gare-Bear. (Spongebob lays on floor) Good night, Gary. (yawning) See you in the morning! (Tries to continue sleeping, but Gary keeps meowing until morning)
(Floor manager comes to the door in the morning)
SpongeBob: Excuse me!
Harold: Please! I'm just the floor manager! The cashier won't be here for another hour!
SpongeBob: Do you have any Snail Bites?! We need some Snail Bites.
Gary: Meow!
Harold: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Those sold out almost immediately! (opens door and goes into store)
Gary: (long meow)
(Spongebob and Gary return home)
SpongeBob: (yawning) Ok, Gary, I'm off to the Krusty Krab! (grabs work hat) Hope your day is as fun-filled as mine! Whoa! Gary?! (Gary is at the door, holding an empty box of Snail Bites in his teeth) Yes, so, I will see you tonight, Gary. (Tries to open door, but Gary each time) Gary, is that a box of Snail Bites in your teeth? He, he. That's funny, because I think I just saw a half-full box in the kitchen. (Gary runs to the kitchen, while SpongeBob leaves the house)
(cuts to the Krusty Krab with Spongebob making Krabby Patties)
Gary: Meow! (SpongeBob looks outside, notices Gary is in the Krusty Krab)
Fish: Normally, I'm so shy, but... (Gary crawls up on customer and knocks down her food)
Gary: (meowing)
SpongeBob: Gary, what are you doing here? You're causing a scene!!! (everyone in Krusty Krab stops and stares at SpongeBob)
Gary: Meow!
SpongeBob: I know, you want more Snail Bites. But the pet store was completely sold out of them!
Gary: Meow!
SpongeBob: I know, Gary...
Gary: Meow!
SpongeBob: Gary, I just said the pet store was completely sold out of Snail Bites! What am I supposed to do?!
Nat Peterson: Well, you can try going to the factory where they make them.
SpongeBob: (picks up Gary and leaves) Thanks a lot.
(cuts to the factory)
Spongebob: You're what?!
Factory Worker: We're closed! Do I have to spell it out for you? C-S-L-O-S-Z-E- Cuh-losed! Not only that, but the very last box of Snail Bites shipped out days ago! They were such a hit they flew out of the stores and now, we've run out of ingredients! From what I hear, the owner even dropped out of the pet food business entirely! Yeah, I mean, why wouldn't he, huh? He's made his money!
SpongeBob: You see, Gary? There are no more...
Factory Worker: I mean, it's not like I wouldn't do the same thing if I were in his shoes!
SpongeBob: So, you see, Gary, there...
Factory Worker: Why would anybody go around punishing themselves, just for the sake of the happiness of a few pets or...
SpongeBob: Would you mind being quiet for one second, please!
Factory Worker: (annoyed) Sorry.
SpongeBob: Gary, they're completely sold out. There are no more Snail Bites left in the entire world and there never will be!
Gary: Meow!
SpongeBob: What do you want me to do, Gary?! Travel the Earth, checking every pet store in existence to see if they happen to have a box of Snail Bites left? Is that what you want?!
Gary: Meow!
(cuts to Spongebob and Gary traveling the world for Snail Bites, with each pet store not having them)
Gary: (meowing)
SpongeBob: Gary, take a look at this map. (opens a map) This is a map of every pet store in the entire world! We've been to every single one of them, Gary! And not one of them has the treats you are after! Not one! I can't keep looking, Gary. I just can't.
Gary: Meow, meow, meow!
(cuts to Spongebob's house with Gary still meowing and Spongebob cringing)
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob! Your snail's still meowing?! I have experience with these situations. You're the sponge. He is the snail. You just have to say "no" in a very firm voice!
SpongeBob: But I don't want to say no to my little Gare-Bear! I want him to be happy!
Patrick: Well, you gotta be firm, SpongeBob! Sometimes, you have to no when to say know. Oh, wait, wait, wait, it's the other way around. You have to know when to say "no". Yeah, that's it!
SpongeBob: But I don't know how to say no, Patrick!
Patrick: No problem, SpongeBob! You can practice on me! Pretend I'm Gary and tell me "no".
SpongeBob: (sweating) I can't! You're so cute!
Patrick: (panting) Do it, SpongeBob! (continues panting, Spongebob continues sweating) Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
SpongeBob: No.
Patrick: Stop it!! (Patrick cries and runs back to rock)
Gary: (meowing)
SpongeBob: Gary, this won't be easy, but the time has come when I must say nnnnn.. (Gary holds up a photo to show Spongebob) Oh, Gary, It's a photo, it's a framed photo of the moment I picked you up at the pound. (takes photo and looks at it) I remember that day like it was yesterday. Oh, and a photo of the time you built me a castle made of glitter and lollipops. (sniffles) Gary, this is the most special...Oh. Nice try, Gary.
Gary: Meow!
SpongeBob: Gare-Bear, we looked everywhere! There are no more Snail Bites! I'm sorry, Gary, but the answer (Gary meows and goes back into the house and takes a nap while Spongebob stares at him)
(cuts to Patrick inside his rock)
Patrick: This last known box of Snail Bites sure is delicious! (reaches into empty box) Hey! It's empty! (Patrick starts meowing and the episode ends)