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Bubble Troubles

Patrick: After you.
SpongeBob: Oh, thank you, Patrick. (blows a bubble)
Patrick: My turn! (blows a bubble)
SpongeBob: Neato! Watch this. (blows another bubble)
Patrick: Wow.
(SpongeBob yawns)
Patrick: (falls asleep. The bubble pops, waking him up) Monosodium glutamate! (blows another bubble)
SpongeBob: You know, Patrick (sniffs) we should spice up on our bubble blowing.
Patrick: Yeah, yeah. Spice. (examines the bottle of bubble soap) No spice. Hmm. (tosses it and takes out a bottle of hot sauce) Hot sauce! (opens it) Spicy bubbles.
(SpongeBob squeals. Patrick blows a hot sauce bubble, and it pops in SpongeBob's eyes causing them to burn)
SpongeBob: Hmm... OW!! (laughs)
(SpongeBob blows a hot sauce bubble, and it pops in Patrick's eyes)
Patrick: OW!! I wonder if hot sauce is bad for our eyes.
Both: Nah! (they both laugh, and blow many hot sauce bubbles in each other's eyes. They both scream, and then laugh)
(cut to Squidward cutting a bush into his face with scissors)
Squidward: Ahh, 20 years of painstaking care and my bonsai portrait is almost complete. Oh. Oh my. What's this? (sees an extra leaf hanging down from the portrait nose) I missed a spot. Not to worry. You'll be perfect soon. As perfect as me. Mmm — oh!
Both: OW!! (Squidward accidentally cuts off the entire bonsai tree)
Squidward: Oh. Look what I've done. (cries) Oh, no!
Bonsai: Squidward.
Squidward: What? What? Who said that?
Bonsai: It's me, your bonsai, Squidward. Will you grant me my final request?
Squidward: Of — of course. What-what — what is it?
Bonsai: Avenge me!
Squidward: "Avenge me"? (SpongeBob and Patrick laughing. Squidward growls and looks out his window) SpongeBob! (SpongeBob and Patrick are still blowing hot sauce bubbles at each other)
Patrick: I must have more.
SpongeBob: You want more? (blows a giant hot sauce bubble)
Squidward: (opens window) SpongeBob, you moron — you ruined my bon…sai. (giant hot sauce bubble pops and disintegrates Squidward)
SpongeBob: Let's go to Sandy's. (cut to later. SpongeBob and Patrick are walking up to the treedome) Sandy. Sandy. Check out our new spicy bubbles that Patrick invented.
Patrick: Yeah, I thinked it up with my own head. Now I'm as smart as Sandy.
SpongeBob: Maybe even smarter.
Sandy: Smarter, huh? Well, I'd love to try out your new-fangled bubbles, Patrick, but I've got to fix these air lines to my treedome. They're all clogged up and and the lack of fresh air is making me woozy.
Patrick: Why don't you just breathe water like a smart person? (breathes deeply) Guess you're just too dumb.
SpongeBob: I know, Sandy. I'll use these spicy bubbles. They'll clean out your pipes for you. (inhales and blows a bubble)
Sandy: That's sweet of you, SpongeBob, but a bunch of little old bubbles ain't gonna clear these air lines. (the spicy bubbles melt the air tank and water fills up the treedome)
SpongeBob: Oops.
Sandy: I'll tar and feather you nincompoops later. My suit's air supply is nearing empty. Luckily, I have just enough air in my submarine to get to the surface and refill my air tanks.
SpongeBob: Phew! Thank goodness. Allow me to get the door.
Patrick: Even I knew that was dumb.
Sandy: Oh, no. I only have a few minutes of air left. I'm far too dizzy already. You'll have to drive, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Whoo! (cut to later with the submarine approaching the surface) How's Sandy doing back there?
Patrick: I'm not sure. Let me check. (alarm on Sandy's air supply is beeping) Oh!
Sandy: Hey there, Patty-Pat-Pat-Pat-Patrick. Careful where you're breathing. You don't want to disturb the subatomic particle rodeo. Yee-haw, micro-dawgies! Rope them molecules.
Patrick: She's totally losing it.
Sandy: (gasps) Are there cobwebs on my face? 'Cause it feels like there's cobwebs on my face.
Patrick: Nevermind. She seems fine.
SpongeBob: Hold on just a little longer, Sandy, we're almost there. I can see sunlight — horrible, dehydrating sunlight. (shivers)
Sandy: Give me that wheel, SquareButt. I know a shortcut. (SpongeBob and Patrick scream as the submarine goes in all directions)
SpongeBob: Make sure to hold her tight, Patrick.
Patrick: (holding Sandy) Don't worry, she's not going anywhere.
Sandy: (licks her helmet) You taste like glass. (hiccups. The submarine reaches the surface)
SpongeBob: (opens up the lid and sniffs) Blah! Fresh air. Let's hurry up and get this over with.
Patrick: Get what over with?
SpongeBob: Where's Sandy?
Patrick: I thought she was with you.
SpongeBob: Uh-oh. (engine starts up)
Sandy: Hang on, fellers! I got a hankering for a Krabby Patty. (submarine is going fast diving deep into the ocean)
SpongeBob: Sandy, what are you doing? The air is up there.
Sandy: Yeah, yeah. Right after I grab a quick bite at the Krusty Krab. Yee-haw!
SpongeBob & Patrick: No! (submarine crashes into the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy fall to the floor)
Sandy: (air tank is at empty) Oh, well. I guess I won't be needing this anymore. (takes off helmet and takes a Krabby Patty and eats it)
SpongeBob: No, Sandy, you need air, not food. (grabs Sandy's tail and makes her spit out the Krabby Patty)
Mr. Krabs: Hey! What's going on out here?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, Sandy's run out of that crazy air stuff that she needs to breathe. We need to find some right now or she'll be headed for the last roundup.
Mr. Krabs: Well, okay. I suppose I can't have her croaking at the Krusty Krab. That'd be bad for business. All right, let's see here. Hmm. Oxygen. "O2," I believe. Good old atomic number eight. (Sandy moans)
Patrick: Uh — uh — (bones crack as he bends backwards) Hey, everyone. Look! There's some air bubbles trapped on the ceiling.
Mr. Krabs: But how are you gonna get them down?
SpongeBob: Never fear. I know what to do. (grabs a lot of straws) We can se these straws to suck the bubbles down.
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute. Those straws cost me money.
SpongeBob: (assembling all the straws into one long straw) Oh, don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'll put them all back.
Patrick: Hurry up, SpongeBob. I'm no doctor, but I don't think squirrels are supposed to be blue.
SpongeBob: Okay, I'm ready.
Patrick: Just a little bit further. (straw chain pokes Patrick's eye) Okay, got it.
SpongeBob: Hurry up, Patrick. (Patrick begins to suck the bubbles down from the ceiling, one by one. He looks at Sandy and she does not want mouth-to-mouth from Patrick and hides in her suit. Patrick temps her out with an acorn. As Sandy tries to eat the acorn, Patrick gives her resuscitation. Sandy punches Patrick off of her)
Patrick: Looks like her color's coming back.
SpongeBob: That's good, but is it gonna be good enough? Mr. Krabs, you must have some spare oxygen. Squidward always says you're full of hot air.
Squidward: I said what?
Mr. Krabs: So, you think I'm full of hot air, do ye? Well, in this case, you're right. There' usually an air bubble or two trapped inside me shell. (walks over to Sandy) Go ahead, don't be shy. (Sandy puts her mouth over Mr. Krabs' holes. SpongeBob begins to crank Mr. Krabs' arm to release the bbuble)
Pearl: (runs into the Krusty Krab) Daddy, there's a submarine on the roof. Oh, you seem kind of busy. Maybe I should come back later.
SpongeBob: No, Pearl. Don't go. You're a mammal, right?
Pearl: Yeah, I guess so.
SpongeBob: And you breathe air, right?
Pearl: Sure, my nose is full of it.
SpongeBob: You've got to help Sandy. She needs to share your air. (Sandy whimpers)
Pearl: I guess us mammals have to stick together.
SpongeBob: Okay, hold still. This may pinch a little. (picks up Sandy and puts her over Pearl's blowhole) Okay, Pearl, let 'er rip! (Pearl blows a giant air bubble into Sandy) Now just keep her breathing, Pearl. Come with me, Patrick. I have an idea that'll fix everything. (now behind the Krusty Krab) I'm gonna go up to the surface to get some air. When I tug on this rope, you pull me down.
Patrick: But how are you gonna get up there?
SpongeBob: I'll use this tank of oxygen as a makeshift rocket.
Patrick: An oxygen tank!? Great idea, buddy.
SpongeBob: I know. Wish me luck, old friend. (takes a ratchet and breaks the handle on the oxygen tank, sending him flying in the air)
Patrick: SquarePants, I salute you.
SpongeBob: (let's go of the oxygen tank and swims up to the surface) Okay, SpongeBob, it's time to catch a breath for Sandy. (takes out the bubble solution and pours it on himself, then inhales) So fresh it hurts. (makes a giant bubble around himself, while holding his nose) Okay, Patrick, pull me down. (tugs on the rope, which is attached to Patrick's head)
Patrick: Hey, who did that? (rope tugs again) Hey! Oh! Ghosts! (runs around)
SpongeBob: Yeah, here we go. (Patrick tries running down a hill but gets tangled in the rope, sending himself and SpongeBob into Sandy's treedome, with the giant bubble. Cut to Sandy opening her eyes) Welcome back, Sandy.
Sandy: I'm alive? And the treedome's full of air? And sort of dry? How'd you fellers pull it off?
SpongeBob: Oh, you could say we had a little help from a big bubble. (both he and Patrick giggle)
Sandy: Hmmm. It case you forgot, it was bubbles that got us into this mess in the first place. I don't want you blowing any more bubbles around my house.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Uh-oh. (a giant bubble, that is encasing the treedome, floats up to the surface)
End