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Plankton's Good Eye

Typed By: DadMom AngryPants

(The lights go out at the Krusty Krab. In his office, Mr. Krabs is sucking on a pickle and counting the day's money. SpongeBob enters.)
SpongeBob: The Krusty Krab is stowed and ready to slumber.
Mr. Krabs: Good job, laddie. Another fruitful day pushing patties.
SpongeBob: Pushing what?
Mr. Krabs: You know. Turning patties into lettuce. (Bites the pickle)
SpongeBob: Uh, I'm not following you.
Mr. Krabs: Cabbage. Greenbacks. Money!
SpongeBob: Oh, you mean your obsession.
Mr. Krabs: Obsession is kind of a strong word. (Opens the safe and puts the money to bed) Sleep tight, my little angels. (Closes the safe and leaves with SpongeBob, turning out the light.)
(Plankton climbs out of the pickle jar and opens a fake pickle, which contains a plunger launching device. He assembles it and shoots it at the wall above the safe, then climbs the rope, lowers himself onto the combination spinner and spins it.)
Plankton: 35 left, 25 right, and finally, 4 left. Open says me! (Pulls, but nothing happens) Hey, what gives? I was looking right at the combination, why isn't it opening? (His arms rip off)
Mr. Krabs: (Comes in) What's going on in here? Hmm. Everything seems to be in order. The safe is still safe. Huh, I must be hearing things. Hey, how'd that pickle get on the floor? (Picks Plankton up) Now, what was that rule about dropped food? Was it 5 seconds or 5 minutes or … ah, well. Waste not, want not. (Eats Plankton)
Narrator: Approximately 10 hours later.
(In the Chum Bucket)
Karen: Plankton, where have you been?
Plankton: Trust me, you do not want to know.
Karen: Did you get the Krabby Patty formula? Like I have to ask.
Plankton: No, and I probably never will.
Karen: You need a more positive outlook.
Plankton: Oh, Karen. If you could just see things the way I do. (Imagines people stepping on him)
Karen: (Gasps) Plankton!
Plankton: What?
Karen: I think you hit it! You couldn't see the correct combination because you have only one eye. You lack depth perception.
Plankton: Maybe you're right. That would explain why I stink at darts.
Karen: What you need is a second eye.
Plankton: Karen, my dear, I think you're onto something. Looks like it's time for an upgrade!
(Plankton presses a button. A machine covers him then retracts. An eye appears on the side of Plankton's head.)
Plankton: Success! (More eyes start to appear) Uh oh, that ain't good. No, no, no, no no no no no no no! I can see every- (An eye grows inside of him and pops out of his mouth)
(Cut to Plankton screwing a brace onto his head)
Plankton: Binocular vision, here I come! (Presses the button again and an eye grows in the correct place this time. It grows legs.) What? Oh mamma! Stop, I command you! (It begins to walk, firing a laser beam) Oh, come on, please stop! (Karen stops it) Next.
(Cut to Plankton hobbling about, injured)
Plankton: Karen, what am I doing wrong?
Karen: Your experiments are missing one essential ingredient.
Plankton: It's not love, is it? 'Cause you know I hate that stuff.
Karen: No, it's cells from another eye. Even a single tear drop would contain enough DNA.
Plankton: Tears, huh? I guess if I have to. (Stabs his foot with a crutch and cries) Ow! Will these do?
Karen: No, silly, they have to be from someone who already has two eyes.
Plankton: Two eyes, huh? I think I know a crybaby who fits that description.
(Cut to SpongeBob setting up a picnic)
SpongeBob: Hi, Plankton!
Plankton: (Jumps onto the lunch box) Hey, SpongeBob, want to hear a sad story?
SpongeBob: No, not particularly.
Plankton: Once upon a time there was a yellow doofus who loved to drink milk with his lunch. Unfortunately for said doofus, his milk was tragically spilled. (Knocks carton of milk over) The end.
SpongeBob: (Starts to cry) S-s-s-sad story! And so timely! (Plankton catches his tears in a bag)
Plankton: Get a grip!
SpongeBob: I suppose he's right. Good thing I always bring backup milk! (Opens his face like a refrigerator and pulls out another carton of milk)
(Cut to Plankton tied to a table in his lab)
Karen: Are you sure you want to go through with this?
Plankton: Yes, let's hurry up and get it over with! (A needle lowers, fills with the tear sample then hovers above Plankton's eye) Mommy! Here comes the pain! (The needle drops some of the liquid onto Plankton's eye, then retracts) That wasn't so bad. Uh oh, here we go. (Eye splits in two) Eureka!
Karen: So, does it work?
Plankton: You tell me. (Throws a dart and hits bullseye) Bullseye! Now for my next target – the Krabby Patty secret formula! (Leaves Chum Bucket) Hahahaha! (Skids to a halt) Wha-? (Everything is bouncing and has a smiley face) Why does everything look so weir- … look so beautiful!
SpongeBob: La la la la!
Plankton: Hi, SpongeBob, great to see you, buddy!
SpongeBob: Hi, Plankton, whatcha doing?
Plankton: I thought I was going to steal something. Can't imagine why. So, I'm just enjoying this lovely day! (Skips away)
SpongeBob: OK, buh-bye!
(Plankton walks back into the Chum Bucket with an ice cream and a balloon)
Plankton: Honey, I'm home!
Karen: Oh, you're a happy camper. Did you finally steal the formula?
Plankton: Formula, what formula? (Drops ice cream) I forgot the formula! I can't imagine what got into me.
Karen: It's that new eye of yours. Your evil DNA has become corrupted by SpongeBob's nice DNA. You've gone from evil to neevil! You're becoming as harmless as that fry cook.
Plankton: Nonsense, you're imagining things.
Karen: Really? Let's test it, shall we? Tell me what you see in these ink blots. (Holds one up that looks like a bat)
Plankton: Hmm. Looks like a pretty butterfly!
Karen: Nope! Try again. What does this remind you of? (Picture of snake)
Plankton: Aww, it's a little puppy doggy!
Karen: Try this! (Picture of nuclear explosion)
Plankton: Um …
Karen: I'll give you a hint. (Makes explosion sound)
Plankton: A bouquet of flowers. Would you like some flowers, honey?
Karen: Cells from that sponge have changed your whole point of view.
Plankton: Ah, a few blobs of ink doesn't prove a thing. I'm as evil as ever, I'll prove it right now by stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula. (Runs outside)
(A building is on fire and citizens are screaming; Bubble Bass is trapped on the top floor)
Plankton: Such lovely destruction!
Bubble Bass: Help! Save me! (Sips soda) Save me!
Plankton: I'll help you! Do not worry, citizen, I'll catch you!
Bubble Bass: Coming down.
Plankton: Oh no. (Bubble Bass lands on him)
Bubble Bass: Thanks, buddy!
Plankton: Unbelievable! I've committed another selfless act. This eye is taking over! But I must stay strong and concentrate on swiping that Krabby Patty formula. (A bottle rolls toward him) What's this? It's the Krabby Patty formula! Krabs must have lost it.
Mr. Krabs: (Standing at a bus stop with SpongeBob) And that's why your promotion means a 50% cut in salary, understand, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs! (Salutes)
Plankton: Hey, Eugene! You missing anything? (Holds out the formula)
Mr. Krabs: Me Krabby Patty formula!
Plankton: That's right, Krabs, unbelievably I found it lying on the ground! (Laughs) So I'm giving it back to you, take it.
Mr. Krabs: Hey, something smells and it isn't my long johns. (Takes formula back) Let's see here, you had the formula, why didn't you run off with it?
Plankton: Why didn't I run off with it? Why didn't I run off with it? Because that would be stealing.
Mr. Krabs: Since when do you care about stealing?
Plankton: Oh, it's this cursed new eye! I've got to get rid of it! Must become monocular again. (Tries to squeeze his eyes together) Hahaha, I did it! (They separate again. He tries to pull the eye off of his face but falls over.)
Mr. Krabs: Hmm. You know, I don't think I trust this nice, polite, pleasant Plankton.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I think Plankton has really changed. He just needs some encouragement and I know just how to do it!
Mr. Krabs: Uh huh. (Walks away)
(Plankton returns to the Chum Bucket)
Plankton: My life of evil is over. Hey, why is it so dark in here?
(Lights turn on to reveal a surprise party)
Everybody: Surprise!
Plankton: Aaah! The Chum Bucket's been invaded! I'll never surrender, never!
SpongeBob: This isn't an invasion, we're here to show you how much we appreciate all the good deeds you've done lately. We came to give you a great big hug!
Plankton: What? No, not hugs, not hugs, aah! (They hug him and the new eye pops out. Plankton looks in a mirror.) It's gone. That disgustingly good eye is finally gone! I'm cured! Thank you, thank you all! Especially you, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Hey. Glad I could help.
Plankton: Yes, thanks to you I'm evil again, and as a token of my appreciation I'll give you all a rousing send-off with my infra-red security security attack lasers! (Presses a button and lasers start shooting. Everybody screams and runs.) Oh well. Depth perception's overrated anyway. (Turns to enter the lab but walks into the door and falls over)
End