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Whelk Attack

(at Jellyfish Fields where SpongeBob and Patrick are chasing jellyfish. They crash into each other and laugh. The ground starts to shake)
SpongeBob: Whoa! Do you think we caused an earthquake by hitting the ground too hard?
Patrick: Maybe. Or maybe it's them. (points to a bunch of giant snail-like creatures)
SpongeBob: Oh, I've never seen those guys around befo-- (SpongeBob and Patrick get run over by the whelks)
Patrick: Ew, we're all covered in slime!
SpongeBob: Not to worry, Patrick. I am a sponge, after all. (sucks the slime into his body) Hold still. (absorbs the slime off Patrick)
Patrick: Um, you're leaking.
SpongeBob: Oh! Patrick, do you mind? I've gotta wring myself out.
Patrick: Say no more. (turns around)
SpongeBob: (stretches and twists himself and releases all of the slime) Oh, we've got to warn Bikini Bottom about those creatures!
Citizens: (distant screaming) Whelks! (a whelk spits a slime bubble at three citizens then eats them)
SpongeBob: Oh, my! What do we do?
Patrick: What are those things?
Newscaster: (on TV) Sea Whelks, a pernicious form of sea snail, have invaded Bikini Bottom, and are on the attack, devouring innocent citizens and covering the city with purple slime. (a whelk eats the newscaster) Luckily, the Bikini Bottom news room is perfectly safe. This is Bikini Bottom News signing off. ("Please Stand By" appears on the screen)
SpongeBob: Whelks? I'm not afraid of some goofy old sea snails.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Ah! (jumps into Patrick's arms but sees it's only his pet snail) Oh, hey Gary.
Gary: Meow meow.
SpongeBob: Gary can be a little bit creepy.
Patrick: Well, I'm not afraid of 'em! Watch this. (goes up to a whelk and taps on its shell. The whelk turns around and Patrick gives a raspberry to the whelk and then stops) Hold on a second. (drinks a glass of water and continues to spit out raspberries. The whelk roars at Patrick)
SpongeBob: How'd it go?
Patrick: Can't talk, running!
SpongeBob: Oh, oh, no! (SpongeBob runs away to The Krusty Krab with Patrick)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Let us in, let us in, let us in, let us in! Let us in, let us in, let us in!
SpongeBob: Squidward, please let us in! (Nat walks into the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob chuckles) Oh. Mr. Krabs! (SpongeBob and Patrick open the door into Squidward, squishing him) Mr. Krabs, ravenous, giant sea whelks are coming! They kinda look like Gary, but not really, and they spit purple slime, and they're eating everyone! They tried to eat me and Patrick, but we ran and ran and then we got away.
Mr. Krabs: Ravenous? (holds up a plate of Krabby Patties) That means hungry! (the whelks are coming towards the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs comes out the doors offering the plate of food) Krabby Patties, get your Krabby Patties! Try a nice, hot Krabby Patty. Only $3.99 each. (the whelk inhales the plate of patties) That'll be $54.95. (the whelk spits out the Krabby Patties and purple slime onto Mr. Krabs) Don't care for Krabby Patties, huh? Well, maybe there's something else on the menu you'd like. (a siren sounds and a platform comes out of the Krusty Krab roof with SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward standing in it. Squidward looks through a telescope. Patrick taps SpongeBob and mumbles)
SpongeBob: Patrick, use your words. (eyes get wide. He taps Squidward and mumbles like Patrick did)
Squidward: Yep, that's one big mama. (an even larger sea whelk comes up to the Krusty Krab and roars)
Mr. Krabs: Welcome to The Krusty Krab! (the giant whelk growls) You seem to be a mollusk of discerning tastes. Could I introduce you to a side of Kelp Fries? (the giant whelk inhales Mr. Krabs) Hey! I'm not on the menu!
SpongeBob: Squidward, it swallowed Mr. Krabs!
Squidward: And this affects me how? (the whelk inhales Squidward as he screams)
Patrick: What do we do now? (SpongeBob and Patrick run out of back doors to the Krusty Krab. The giant sea whelk eats the Krusty Krab establishment. SpongeBob and Patrick run over to Sandy's Treedome)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Sandy! Let us in, let us in, let us in! Let us in, Sandy! Let us in, Sandy! (the whelks start are coming towards them. They scream) Let us in!
Sandy: (looks through her door) Who is it?
SpongeBob: Sandy, please, let us in!
Sandy: How can I be sure you're not whelks in disguise?
SpongeBob: We're not whelks.
Patrick: We promise!
SpongeBob & Patrick: Let us in!
Sandy: (to SpongeBob) What's your mother's maiden name?
SpongeBob: BubbleBottom!
Sandy: Patrick, what's your first name?
Patrick: Oh, is this a trick question?
Sandy: Oh. (opens door) You're in. (Sandy puts the treedome on lockdown)
SpongeBob: Whew, what are we going to do?
Sandy: I may know the answer to that question. Do you want the regular answer or the action-packed answer?
SpongeBob: Action-packed, please?
Sandy: Yes! (jumps in the air) I need a sample of their slime. If I can analyze it... (does some karate moves) I might be able to deduce... (does a karate kick) the cause of their behavior, and maybe we can stop 'em.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Hmm. (the whelks break through the treedome)
Sandy: Oh, no! (the treedome is flooded. Sandy takes SpongeBob's water helmet and uses it and puts on her suit so she can flush the water out of the helmet) Comes on, guys, follow me! (SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy climb up a tree)
SpongeBob: I guess this is it, Patrick!
Patrick: You guys go. I'll hold them off. (sniffs) And if I fail, at least my sacrifice will delay the in-amenable.
SpongeBob: I can't let you do that, Patrick. I'll be the one to lay down my life.
Patrick: Okay, you go!
Sandy: No, I'll go. The whelks don't seem to be after land... (the giant whelk grabs Sandy and eats her) ...critters! (SpongeBob and Patrick scream as they get swallowed by the giant whelk)
SpongeBob: Patrick, look at that!
SpongeBob & Patrick: The Krusty Krab!
SpongeBob: The gang's all here!
Squidward: We're closed. Come back tomorrow.
Sandy: (takes a sample of slime off Patrick and examines it) Hey, SpongeBob, lend me your corneas for a second. You too, Patrick.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Uh, okay. (removes their corneas)
Sandy: (looking through a microscope) Well, golly! No wonder they're all grumpy. Them whelks are full of germs. Why, they're sicker than a bull with the squirrel pox.
SpongeBob: I know just what to do. After all, I've had the suds. I just have to absorb their whelks snot, and they'll return to normal. (inhales all the purple slime. Spits out the giant whelk)
Giant Whelk: (now tiny) Meow.
SpongeBob: Now, let's get the rest of you cleaned up. (takes the whelks and swishes them around his mouth and then spits them out on his tongue. The whelks mew at their mother)
SpongeBob: Aww, cute. Ah-ah-ah achoo! (sneezes out Patrick, Sandy, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and The Krusty Krab with all the citizens in it. Everyone cheers) Excuse me! (laughs)
Squidward: Gesundheit.
Mr. Krabs: You did it, boy!
Squidward: (picks up a whelk) So, these things went crazy just because they had the sniffles?
Baby Whelk: Meow. (whimpers and sneeze on Squidward's face. Everyone laughs)
Patrick: It's in his eye! (SpongeBob sneezes again. Everyone continues laughing)
Squidward: Oh, that's hilarious.
End