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That Sinking Feeling

Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: DadMom AngryPants

(SpongeBob and Patrick run back and forth between their houses, laughing. Squidward looks on from his upstairs window, becoming increasingly irritated. He goes outside and stops them.)
Squidward: Stop … playing … in my yard!
SpongeBob: Oh, we're not playing in your yard, Squidward. We're playing in our yards. We're just using your yard as a walkway.
Patrick: No offence, but your yard gargles tartar sauce.
Squidward: Well pick one and leave my yard out of it!
Patrick: Oh oh oh oh oh, I'm good at choosing! (Looks back and forth between his yard and SpongeBob's) Hmm. Let's play in … SpongeBob's yard! No, Patrick's! SpongeBob's! (Cries) I'm terrible at choosing! Squidward, you choose!
Squidward: I choose Patrick (Picks Patrick up and puts him in his yard) to play in Patrick's yard and SpongeBob (Picks SpongeBob up and puts him in his yard) in SpongeBob's yard. (Draws line in sand around his yard) And nobody in here! (Goes inside his house and slams door)
(Patrick looks at the line)
Patrick: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Patrick!
(They run along the line, trying to find a way through)
Patrick: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Patrick!
Patrick: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Patrick!
(SpongeBob skids to a halt at the road)
SpongeBob: The road!
(He carefully tries to step onto the road but cars shoot past)
SpongeBob: Patrick, what are we going to do?
Patrick: I'll mail myself to your house! (Gets into his mailbox, which tips over and explodes)
SpongeBob: Sit tight, Patrick. I'm coming to get you! (Wraps arms around own mailbox and catapults himself to Patrick's yard)
Patrick: Hi SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Hi Patrick.
(SpongeBob is pulled back and slammed against the mailbox)
SpongeBob: Patrick, call me!
Patrick: OK!
(Both run inside their houses and pick up telephones)
SpongeBob: SquarePants residence.
Patrick: What are we going to do?!
SpongeBob: Hmm … have we ever dug a tunnel between our two houses?
Patrick: No.
(Both drop phones and start to dig. The tunnels make a message that says "EAT AT KRUSTY KRAB" before eventually meeting.)
Patrick: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Patrick?
SpongeBob and Patrick: We did it!
SpongeBob: (Tags Patrick) Tag, you're it! (They run laughing)
Patrick: Tag, you're it!
SpongeBob: Tag, you're it!
Patrick: Tag, you're it!
(Back on the surface, Squidward is napping on his couch)
SpongeBob: Peek-a-boo, I see you!
(Squidward wakes up, fluffs his pillow and goes back to sleep)
SpongeBob: You're it!
Patrick: You're it! (They laugh)
(Squidward wakes up again)
Squidward: Must block out noise … (Puts jello on head)
Patrick: Knock knock.
SpongeBob: Who's there?
Patrick: I don't know! (They laugh)
(Squidward gets angry and jello melts. He goes outside.)
Squidward: I thought I told you two to stay off my … (Notices they're not there) yard. (Hears Patrick laughing and lifts his rock) Patrick! Patrick, would you shu- where is he? (Hears SpongeBob laughing) SpongeBob. SpongeBob! (Opens pineapple door) SpongeBob, I am trying to- sleep? (Searches SpongeBob's house) Aha! (Sees Gary on roof) Hey, Gary.
Gary: Meow.
Squidward: Where are those two morons? (Rips flowers from ground) Where are they? (Stomps ground in anger)
(Below, the roots bounce up and down in the tunnel)
SpongeBob: Oooh, Patrick, check out those roots!
Patrick: They're dancing!
SpongeBob: Do like the roots do and do the dirt dance, baby! (They bounce)
(Squidward's house sinks. He screams and tries to save it)
Patrick: Squidward's house wants to play, too!
Squidward: My house! (Enters through a hatch on the roof, mumbling angrily)
SpongeBob: Aw, Squidward's house sounds like it has an upset tummy.
Patrick: Must have been something that it ate.
(Squidward opens door)
SpongeBob: It ate Squidward.
Patrick: That'd do it.
Squidward: I knew you two reprobates were behind this.
SpongeBob: Yeah, we're reprobates!
Squidward: That was an insult.
Patrick: And we're insulted!
Squidward: Why were you digging under my yard?
SpongeBob: You told us not to walk on your yard so we walked under it.
Squidward: But you buried my house!
Patrick: No need to thank us.
Squidward: Thank you?!
Patrick: You're welcome. (Squidward screams and tries to strangle Patrick, who ducks his head into his body) Missed.
SpongeBob: Somebody wants to play tag.
Patrick: (Tags Squidward) Tag, you're it!
SpongeBob: Not it!
(They run away and Squidward chases them)
Patrick: Weeee!
(Squidward catches them drags them by their pants)
SpongeBob: Squidward wins!
Squidward: Now you're going to play a new came called "digging out my house"!
SpongeBob: Oh boy!
Squidward: And I'm going to play "sit and relax until you're finished"! (Goes inside and relaxes) Barnacle brains.
(Window smashes and sand is thrown inside by Patrick. A rumble outside makes Squidward spill his tea. He gets up and opens the door angrily. SpongeBob is pressed up against it with a wall of dirt.)
Squidward: SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Hi Squidward. (Dirts fills the house and spills SpongeBob and Squidward out of the window)
SpongeBob: Uh oh.
Squidward: I'm warning you, if you don't put my house back where it belongs by the count of three … (Holds up two tentacles and his nose) Three. I am going to grind you into chum! One!
Patrick: Ahh, he's counting! Anything but counting! (They start to dig) Quick, SpongeBob, dig for your life!
Squidward: Two!
Patrick: He's already at number two. Who knows how many numbers we have until he reaches three?
Squidward: Three!
(SpongeBob and Patrick scream and dig a tunnel to get away. Squidward chases them. SpongeBob and Patrick's houses sink, then other buildings. They reach a big rock.)
SpongeBob: Must … dig! The rock's too hard!
(Squidward catches up, breathing menacingly. SpongeBob and Patrick cower.)
Squidward: You two morons sunk my house!
SpongeBob and Patrick: We're sorry!
Squidward: I'm gonna-! (Whole of Bikini Bottom sinks) Uh oh.
(Cut to later. SpongeBob leaves his house with a pickaxe.)
SpongeBob: Good morning, Squidward! Another beautiful day under Bikini Bottom.
Squidward: I hate neighbors.