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Gramma's Secret Recipe

(at Shady Shoals)
Grandma Plankton: How about a little more, Plankton? Or has this old granny had enough for one night?
Plankton: Oh, Gramma, you know I always have more pudding for you.
Grandma Plankton: Oh! That looks simply delightful.
Plankton: You once told me that this was your favorite flavor growing up as a child.
Grandma Plankton: Ration?
Plankton: Uh, no, chocolate. Open up. (puts the spoonful of pudding in his Gramma's mouth) You can let go of the spoon now, Gramma. There. Oop! Looks like you've got a little on your face. Here, let me. (wipes off the pudding with a wipe) There you are. There you are, darling.
Grandma Plankton: Oh, Plankton, you always were my favorite granddaughter.
Nurse: Five minutes until bedtime, Mr. Plankton.
Plankton: Well, Gramma, that's the sweetest, most tender...
Nurse: Five minutes, Mr. Plank...
Plankton: I heard you the first time! Now, where were we? (Gramma is snoring) Gramma, don't forget your teeth. (Gramma spits her teeth out then coughs)
Plankton: Ooh. Now, now, Grandma, just relax. There, there. (she snores) That's perfect! (puts the teeth in his mouth then smiles big) Perfect! (laughs maniacally) Why didn't I think of this before? No one can say no to a helpless little grandma! (imagines himself dressed up as his Gramma in the Krusty Krab) Excuse me, Sonny, I'd certainly love one of your Krabby whatsits, but my delicate digestive system has special needs, and I'll need to see a complete list of ingredients. You wouldn't want me to be up all night with painful bloating, would you?
Mr. Krabs: Goodness, no. (hands Gramma the formula in a bottle) Here you are.
Plankton: Thanks, Sonny. I'm just going to take it home; I left my bifocals there. (laughs as the imagination ends. Cut to SpongeBob's house)
SpongeBob: (hums while playing in the bathtub. Squirts some water on the soap from one of his holes on his body) Yay! A direct hit. (pretends the bar of soap is a walkie-talkie) Threat neutralized, Captain. Roger. over. Uh-huh. Right away, Captain. All hands, prepare to dive. Repeat, prepare to di... (Plankton, as Gramma, knocks on his door. SpongeBob walks down and opens the door)
Plankton: Ahem.
SpongeBob: Hi, lady.
Plankton: Why, SpongeBob, don't you recognize me?
SpongeBob: Eh, not really.
Plankton: It's me, your dear, old Great-Grammy-Maw!
SpongeBob: (gasps) Quick, come inside! Wow, my very own Great-Grammy-Maw. Why have we never met?
Plankton: I want to know all about your life-- Your job, where the secret formula is-- Uh, I mean...
SpongeBob: (tears up) I'm so glad you came back, Double-Great-Grammy-Maw. (Plankton groans and shudders) You're cold. Let's wrap you up in something nice and cozy. (Plankton is on the chair wrapped in a blanket) Okay, lean forward. (Plankton sighs as SpongeBob puts a pillow on the chair) There we go. Now lean back, Grammy-Maw. It's the coziest pillow I have. (as Plankton leans back, the pillow sucks him in. He shouts and mutters) How about we look through some old family photo albums? (goes to get the album) Here's a picture of me when I developed my first appendage. (a picture of flattened SpongeBob tied to a balloon) Pretty neat photo album, eh, Double-G-Grammy-Maw?
Plankton: It was certainly interesting, but I'd like to hear about your more recent affairs, like where you work for instance.
SpongeBob: (laughs) Don't worry, I got pictures of that too. (shows piles of photo albums) But we still have a couple more from my early childhood to get through first.
Plankton: Never let it be said that I didn't suffer for my occupation. (night turns into morning. SpongeBob pokes Plankton)
SpongeBob: Great-Grammy-Maw?
Plankton: Huh? Oh, I had the most horrible dream of my life! I was dressed up as-- (sees SpongeBob smiling at him) Holy mother of Neptune, it's true.
SpongeBob: Good morning. I'll go and fix us a nice breakfast, and then we'll spend the whole day together.
Plankton: Sounds delightful. (takes off glasses and laughs. Cut to SpongeBob and Plankton walking down the street)
SpongeBob: So, Grammy-Maw, what kinds of things do you active seniors like to do?
Plankton: Actually, SpongeBob, I said I wanted to see your life, remember?
SpongeBob: Hmm. (flashback of Plankton)
Plankton: I want to know all about your life-- your job, where the secret formula is-- uh, I mean... (end flashback)
SpongeBob: No, you couldn't possibly care about any of that stuff. Oh, your life must be way more full and exciting.
Plankton: Well, uh...
SpongeBob: (grabs Plankton and runs off) Come on! It'll be fun! (cut to 'Grandma's Tea House'. SpongeBob sips some tea and sighs) Isn't this tea delicious, Gramma?
Plankton: Why, yes. (sips some tea and spits it out) How can you drink this dreck?! (everyone gasps. Plankton chuckles nervously) What I meant to say was, "More, please." (cut to knitting)
SpongeBob: Knitting circles sure are fun, eh, Grammy-Maw?
Plankton: Nope. (he has his arms in a yarn circle)
SpongeBob: Why are you not having fun?
Plankton: Why? Because I don't knit you nitwit! (the yarn wrapped around his arms gets yanked away)
SpongeBob: Are you sure? 'Cause you make a real nice scarf. (Plankton gets knitted into a scarf. Cut to the two of them playing cards) Aw, Great-Grammy-Maw, you win again. All hail the great Canasta master! (Plankton rips the Joker card he has in half) Gramma, you getting bored?
Plankton: No, I'm getting hungry. I can feel my own stomach acids eating away at my organs. I could eat a village!
SpongeBob: Would you settle for a Krabby Patty?
Plankton: Would I? (giggles then laughs maniacally. Clears his throat) Uh, yeah, I would. (cut to both of them walking up to the Krusty Krab) Uh, SpongeBob, would you mind terribly if we used the rear entrance? I'm a little shy around new people.
SpongeBob: Hmm. Hey, Grammy, do antenna run in our family?
Plankton: Antenna? What, no, I...!
SpongeBob: (laughs) Aw, she really is shy. Nobody ever uses this door except for me and... (Squidward opens the back door holding a garbage bag) Squidward! (Plankton screams)
Squidward: SpongeBob, you have been warned about lurking back here on your days off.
SpongeBob: I'm just bringing in my Great-Grammy-Maw for some lunch.
Squidward: Your what?
SpongeBob: My Great-Grammy-Maw. (Plankton's not there) She must be hiding. Well, she did say she was shy.
Squidward: Right. (dumps the garbage bag contents in the trashcan next to him) SpongeBob, I promise not to tell Mr. Krabs about this if you promise that I don't have to see you again for the rest of the day. (Plankton was hiding in the trash)
SpongeBob: Grammy, there you are. I was starting to worry.
Plankton: Never mind. Just get me into the kitchen.
SpongeBob: Well, here it is.
Plankton: At last!
SpongeBob: Gramma, I'm just gonna go make sure the restrooms are stocked, you know, real quick. It's part of my day-off duties.
Plankton: Okay. I'll be standing right here when you get back and not off somewhere snooping around for the secret formula or anything.
SpongeBob: (chuckles) What?
Plankton: Nothing. Go ahead. (laughs maniacally. Blows up a balloon of herself to use as a decoy. Then the balloon explodes) Let's see how this decoy floats your boat. (laughs. Plankton goes to check under the dishes for the formula while the balloon floats over to the sink disposal)
SpongeBob: Okay, Grammy-Maw, that's taken care of. I... Grammy-Maw? Mm, she must've made her own way up to the cash register all by herself! Maybe I'll catch up on my dishwashing while I have the chance. (walks to the sink) The Krusty Krab manual says it is always a good idea to start by turning the garbage disposal on, just in case there is any leftover rubbish in the sink. (turns it on. The balloon pops into pieces) Sounds like there's something stuck in the... Gramma! (Plankton looks over from behind the plates) Oh, I can't bear to look! (cries) Oh, Double-Great-Grammy-Grams, you were so soft and fragile, like a... like a... like a... like a balloon!
Plankton: SpongeBob. SpongeBob, up here.
SpongeBob: Gramma? Is that you? Are you alright?
Plankton: Oh, I'm alright, but I've been ground to a pulp. If only there was a nice, cool, safe place nearby, like a safe nearby, where I could rest and recover.
SpongeBob: Well, there is the safe where Mr. Krabs keeps the Krusty Krab secret formula that Plankton's been trying to steal for the past bunch of years. I don't think he'd mind if my dear old Grammy-Maw rests in there.
Plankton: Why would he?
SpongeBob: (takes Plankton to the safe with all the money inside) Here we go. I'll come back for you a little later.
Plankton: Oh, I feel better already. (starts snoring)
SpongeBob: Sweet dreams, Grammy-Maw. (closes the safe. Plankton starts laughing menacingly. He gets up)
Plankton: Sweet dreams indeed, fool. Only this dream is about to become a nightmare for Mr. Krabs! (laughs maniacally. His teeth fall out) I'm just going to savor this this moment because for once in my life, for once in my life, I feel truly alive! (the real Grandma Plankton picks up her teeth)
Grandma Plankton: Plankton! (Plankton gasps. Grandma Plankton takes back her glasses) You've been a very naughty boy, Plankton.
Plankton: B-But I... (Grandma Plankton takes back her wig) Grandma, I-I can... (Grandma Plankton takes back her dress)
Grandma Plankton: I've been looking all over for this stuff.
Plankton: Gramma, I can explain!
Grandma Plankton: (drags Plankton through the restaurant by his antennas) I'm sure you can. Plankton Jr., you always knew you were a... (stops in front of SpongeBob's feet)
SpongeBob: Gramma? (gasps) You caught Plankton. Let me guess. Trying to steal the secret formula, right?
Grandma Plankton: Get out of my way, rapscallion! I've had enough foolishness for one day. (Plankton groans as he's being dragged out through the Krusty Krab doors)
End