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Rodeo Daze

Narrator: Ah, the eternal expanse of the deep sea. Teeming with fantastic creatures. Uh, teeming… I'm sure they're around here somewhere. Aha! (zoom in on a rock with poison sea urchins on it) Oh, that's a rock. Where is everybody? Aah! (SpongeBob is up close to the camera) Oh, it is just SpongeBob. Watch and witness one of the rarest and mysterious rituals of the deep, the staring contest. (SpongeBob and Patrick are staring at each other)
SpongeBob: (eyes water up and blinks) Patrick, wow.
Patrick: What?
SpongeBob: You are the best starer I've ever stared at!
Patrick: Oh, staring contest. I thought it was a blinking contest and I was losing.
SpongeBob: (distant falling) Hark, Patrick. Do you hear something? (a message in a bottle falls on SpongeBob's forehead) Oh! (reads the note tag) Hmm, it's a letter for Sandy, all the way from Texas. We better deliver it. (cut to Sandy's treedome)
SpongeBob: Sandy! (SpongeBob tries to open Sandy's door but fails) Oh, it's not opening.
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, I have something that might help. (Patrick shows a book)
SpongeBob: (reads title) "How to Open Things." Brilliant, Patrick! I saw the movie, but I never read the book.
Patrick: Uh, okay. (flips through each section in the book) Garbage cans. No. Jar. No. Box. No. Sandy's door! Twist to the left.
SpongeBob: Oh, I was twisting to the right.
Patrick: A common mistake, my good friend. (Patrick puts away the book) Allow me. (stretches) Okay, time to open this.
Sandy: (kicks door open) Hi-yah! Trying to ninja sneak attack? Hi-yah! Hi-yah! (Sandy keeps chopping at Patrick and SpongeBob. The note from the bottle floats down to the ground) Well, you're still no match for my squirrel-fu. (she reads the note) It's a letter from my twin brother, Randy.
SpongeBob: (Patrick falls on his face) Oh!
Sandy: (SpongeBob and Patrick try to cram into Sandy's helmet) Do you mind?
SpongeBob: Not at all. Read on.
Patrick: Doesn't bother me.
Sandy: Get out of my suit! (SpongeBob and Patrick get out of Sandy's suit) Well, golly! Randy says the rodeo's come to town. I've got to head back to Texas and defend my championship title.
SpongeBob: Championship title? For what?
Sandy: You got cotton in your ears?
Patrick: (checks SpongeBob's ear for cotton) Hmm, no. It's not cotton. It's actually an old moldy piece of krabby patty. (Patrick eats the moldy krabby patty) Mmm.
SpongeBob: (takes out a jellyfish net) Is your championship title for jellyfishing?
Sandy: No.
SpongeBob: Karate? (smacks Patrick in the face)
Sandy: No.
SpongeBob: (wearing a white coat like Patrick, holding a volcano) Perhaps the science fair, then.
Sandy: No. It's my rodeo championship on the line.
SpongeBob: Rodeo? What does rodeo mean?

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Critters that you gotta wrangle
Cowboy suits with purdy spangles
Boots with spurs that jingle-jangle
That's a rodeo

Tight blue jeans you gotta squeeze in
But they sure look mighty pleasin'
Big belt buckles are always in season
That's a rodeo

Rodeo (Rodeo)
Rodeo (Rodeo)
Yippy ti yay, yippy ti yo

Rodeo (Rodeo)
Rodeo (Rodeo)
Yippy ti yay, yippy ti yo

Ride that critter
Don't be no quitter
Hold on tight with all your might! Yee-haw!
That's a rodeo.

Tractor pulls and big old bulls
Line dancin', horses prancin
Barrel racin', bareback ridin'
Bronco bustin', aluminum upsidin'
That's a rodeo

Rodeo (Rodeo)
Rodeo (Rodeo)
Yippy ti yay, yippy ti yo

Rodeo (Rodeo)
Rodeo (Rodeo)
Yippy ti yay, yippy ti yo

And don't forget who makes us laugh
When we're feelin' down
The happy slappy, sunny, funny
Good ol' rodeo clown
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SpongeBob: Clowns? (SpongeBob grabs Sandy) Don't go, Sandy! It's too risky.
Sandy: (pushes SpongeBob away) I must! It's my duty! (Sandy's suit turns into a rocket and blasts right out of the ocean)
SpongeBob: Oh, this is terrible. We can't let Sandy go all alone. It's too dangerous up there, right Patrick?
Patrick: Eh, I'm in-diff-er-ent.
SpongeBob: How could we live with ourselves if Sandy got hurt, and we weren't there to help? Why, I wouldn't be able to look at myself.
Patrick: Look at yourself? How do you do that? (Patrick spins around a lot and tries to look at himself)
SpongeBob: Patrick! This is no time for silly games. Sandy needs us. You understand? Patrick? Patrick!
Patrick: (running away) No more tight jeans!
SpongeBob: Oh, I'm sure someone else will help me. (cut to the Krusty Krab in Mr. Krab's office)
SpongeBob: So there you have it, Mr. Krabs. Sandy really needs our help.
Mr. Krabs: Okay, explain it to me again, but this time, take out anything that doesn't have to do with money. Uh-huh, that's what I thought. (walks off)
SpongeBob: (sigh) I need to find someone with compassion. Someone who selflessly helps others with no concern for his own safety. I need a hero. (cut to Squidward sunbathing in his yard)
SpongeBob: Oh, Squidward! Sandy is in terrible trouble. You've got to help me save her!
Squidward: Oh, no! Sally's in trouble!
SpongeBob: Uh, Sandy.
Squidward: Don't worry, SpongeBob. Just wait right here. (Squidward walks towards his house) I'll get my emergency squirrel rescue kit.
SpongeBob: Right-o, Mr. Tentacles, sir.
Squidward: Just don't panic! (closes the door and then climbs out the back window and walks off)
SpongeBob: (sighs) Well, there's one last person I can ask. (cut to The Chum Bucket)
SpongeBob: (banging on the doors) Plankton!
Plankton: (opens the door) What?
SpongeBob: Sandy's in trouble. I need help rescuing her.
Plankton: (brings out some dynamite) I'm kind of busy right now.
SpongeBob: Jeepers, it'll only take a minute.
Plankton: Yeah, uh, I'd love to help, but I-I really got to go. (picks up the dynamite and walks towards the Krusty Krab with it but it explodes before he can get there) Ouch.
SpongeBob: (sighs) Well, I'm going to go save Sandy, whether anyone wants to help or not. (cut to SpongeBob's bedroom where he is packing)
SpongeBob: I guess it's just you and me, Gary. (places Gary's shell in the suitcase but Gary doesn't budge) Let's go. Gary the snail! Do you plan on staying here while Sandy is possibly in trouble somewhere up there?
Gary: Meow meow meow?
SpongeBob: She's the squirrel.
Gary: Meow?
SpongeBob: No, brown. Gary, what does that have to do...? (Gary slithers off) You too, huh? Well, we'll see about that. (SpongeBob blows a giant bubble to carry Gary, Squidward, and Patrick back to his house)
Patrick: Pudding. (SpongeBob blows bubbles for all the citizens in Bikini Bottom, as well as his alarm clock that wakes everyone up)
SpongeBob: Good morning!
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! What's the meaning of this?
SpongeBob: Sandy's in trouble, and I need all of your help to save her from the horrors of the rodeo. There are clowns there!
Squidward: SpongeBob, the next time you "invite" me to one of your slumber parties, I'm calling the cops. (Squidward walks out of SpongeBob's pineapple but falls in the bubble that it's surrounded in) What the...? SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: (falls down and lands on Squidward) Yes, Squidward? (everyone else falls out of the house, too)
Mr. Krabs: Where the devil are we?
SpongeBob: It's Texas. (everyone screams)
Gary: Meow meow.
SpongeBob: What's that, boy? You see Sandy?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: And she's...riding a bullfrog?
Sandy: (riding a bullfrog) Yee-haw!
SpongeBob: Ahoy, Sandy!
Sandy: Huh? (bullfrog bucks off Sandy)
Sandy: Ow. Gol-darn it! You sea slickers made me lose the rodeo. Why are you here, anyways?
SpongeBob: To help save you from this rodeo thing.
Sandy: I don't need to be saved. (gasps) Watch out! That old bullfrog's got a flea on his flanks, and he's coming right at you. (everyone screams. The bullfrog pops the bubble and everyone in the bubble are their real selves when they hit the ground)
Patrick: Did we save Sandy?
SpongeBob: No, Patrick, we didn't.
Mr. Krabs: Did we make any money?
Gary: Meow.
Sandy: Ah, cactus! That old bullfrog's got SpongeBob! Hang on, old buddy! (lassos SpongeBob out of the bullfrog's mouth. The crowd cheers) Next time, leave the rodeos to me.
SpongeBob: Ah, nuts.
End