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A Pal for Gary

Episode Info | Pictures
Typed By: DadMom AngryPants

(SpongeBob tips snail food into Gary's bowl then throws the can into the trash. It misses and bounces all around the kitchen breaking things until SpongeBob is knocked over by a barrel and the can lands on his nose.)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: (Laughs) OK, Gare, I'll get out of your hair. (Presses his nose and his work hat pops out of his head) See you later, Gare. (Opens door) Oh. (Notices Gary holding his leash) You want to go for a walk. Sorry, buddy, I don't have time for a walk right now. Got to get over to the old job. You'll just have to stay here alone, little buddy. But I promise, as soon as I get home we'll have fun. Together. OK. (Starts to close the door) Love you, Gare-bear. (Closes it some more) Bye. (Closes it completely)
(Gary uses the leash as a lasso to reach a can of chips and a soda drinking hat. He turns on the TV.)
SpongeBob: Poor little snail. Just wanted some fun time. I can only imagine the tortured loneliness he must be feeling right now.
(Inside, Gary is laughing at a TV show.)
(At the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob is sweeping the floor. A customer walks in with a pet worm.)
SpongeBob: Welcome to the Kru- (Worm barks) Sorry, sir, but the Krusty Krab has a strict no pet policy. (Points to sign) I'm afraid your worm will have to wait outside.
Fish: Oh, I could never do that. He gets far too lonely and upset when he's left alone. Sorry, buddy, I guess I can't buy you that Krabby Patty you wanted. Let's just go home.
Mr. Krabs: Eh? Hey, let's not be hasty! Now why didn't you just say you were buying your pet a Krabby Patty? Listen, I tell you what, for your troubles I'll give you two Krabby Patties at regular price. SpongeBob, get this responsible pet owner two Krabby Patties.
SpongeBob: (Imagines Gary meowing) Responsible pet owner. I leave Gary home by himself every day; I'd better call him and make sure he's OK.
(Back at the pineapple, Gary is still watching his show when the phone rings. He doesn't answer and it goes to voice mail.)
SpongeBob: Too distraught to even answer the phone.
Recording: Y'ello. You've reached SpongeBob and … c'mon, Gary! (Gary meows) Gary. (Laughs) The two of us are having too much fun together to answer the phone right now, so leave a message and we'll call you right back if we ever get a break from having so much fun. Together!
SpongeBob: My outgoing message is a lie. Gary, are you there? Gary, it's SpongeBob, just checking in. If you're there pick up.
(Gary laughs at his show)
SpongeBob: I know you're feeling real lonely right now. Just hang in there, Gary, daddy will be home soon. (Hangs up, flips the sign to "closed" and leaves the Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: Well well well, SpongeBob SquarePants. What a stroke of luck, you coming by like this. I was just about to, uh, re-tar the parking lot. Why don't you grab a shovel?
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I'd love to re-tar the parking lot but I've got a lonely pet snail at home and technically my shift was over 5 hours ago.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, say no more, kid. You get on home to your pet turtle or whatever. Right now, go!
SpongeBob: Really, Mr. Krabs? You'll let me do that?
Mr. Krabs: Sure! Just come in 5 hours early tomorrow to finish the parking lot.
SpongeBob: You're the best, Mr. Krabs!
(SpongeBob runs through town)
SpongeBob: Poor Gary's been home alone all day. How am I going to keep him happy and tend to my responsibilities at the Krusty Krab?
(A father and son are stood at a cart which is selling pets)
Son: Wow, Dad, is it really mine to keep?
Father: Yep. Now you have a furry friend to keep you from feeling lonely. (SpongeBob skids to a halt) And now Daddy can go on his business trips guilt free.
SpongeBob: Mayhap if I got Gary a pal he could play with he won't be so lonely when I'm at work.
Son: Gee, thanks, Dad.
(SpongeBob walks up to the cart)
SpongeBob: They're so precious! Sold! I'll take that one right there.
Merchant: You wish to obtain one of my rare and extremely dangerous – huh?
SpongeBob: (Already picking out a pet) Oh yeah, this is the one.
Merchant: Beware, boy. This is no ordinary pet.
SpongeBob: Gary's going to be so happy!
Merchant: You must understand! These creatures can be very unstable, especially around other pets. (Holds a photo of a cat up to one of the creatures, which bares its teeth)
SpongeBob: Yeah yeah yeah, thanks, bye!
Merchant: Why bother? They never listen.
(Back at the pineapple, Gary is still watching TV)
Cowboy: Sheriff? I nabbed your bank robber. There's your culprit right there. Now cuff him.
SpongeBob: (Pops up in front of the TV) Hello, Gary!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I brought you a surprise! Your very own play pal. His name is Puffy Fluffy and he'll keep you company while I'm at work. (Puts Puffy Fluffy on the chair next to Gary) You two get to know each other, I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)
Gary: Meow.
(Puffy Fluffy bares his teeth then returns to normal when SpongeBob comes back holding a food bowl)
SpongeBob: Eat up, you two. (Gary goes to take a bite but SpongeBob stops him) Gary! What happened to your manners? You be nice and share with Puffy Fluffy. (Adds Puffy Fluffy's name to the bowl) Comer here, you. (Puts Puffy Fluffy on the floor) There you go, Fluffy. Now eat up. I'm going to go make some enchiladas. (Puffy Fluffy turns vicious again and eats all of the food. Gary hides behind the TV.) Done! Ooh, these enchiladas are hot hot hot! Garold, it is not nice to ignore new friends. Why don't you two play a little? That will help you bond. (Puts them in front of toys) Great, now my enchiladas are cold. (Puffy Fluffy terrorises Gary, who jumps into SpongeBob in fear) Gary, what has gotten into you, boy, huh? Because you refuse to show the least bit of respect for our new friend and because you have ruined my enchilada dinner, I have no choice but to put you to siesta early tonight.
(SpongeBob puts Gary in his bed)
SpongeBob: I hope you're happy now.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Good! Maybe you could extend that happiness to your new friend. (Puts Puffy Fluffy in the bed as well and covers them with a blanket) Aww, look at you two, so cute together!
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I accept your apology, Gary. Now you be good to him. Goodnight. (Leaves)
(Puffy Fluffy bares his teeth at Gary)
(SpongeBob gets into bed)
SpongeBob: Ah, I am going to sleep so well knowing that Gary's got a good buddy to take care of him. (Goes to sleep)
Gary: Meow! (Bursts in)
SpongeBob: Gary, shame on you! Puffy Fluffy is perfectly harmless. See, there he is, fast asleep. (Puts Gary back in the bed) Now will you let me sleep, Gary, please? Goodnight. (Leaves and turns out the light)
("Puffy Fluffy" turns out to be a fake and deflates. Gary hears Puffy Fluffy in the kitchen and goes to investigate. Puffy Fluffy is now much bigger and eating from the refrigerator. Upstairs, SpongeBob is asleep. Puffy Fluffy chases Gary, who tries to defend himself with a frying pan. SpongeBob mumbles in his sleep. Puffy Fluffy chases Gary through the house and into the library. He knocks a log from the fire, which ignites a pile of books. SpongeBob smells the smoke.)
SpongeBob: Mmm. You're making meatballs, Grandma? Time for dinner already?
(Gary scoops water from the bath to put out the fire. Puffy Fluffy goes into SpongeBob's closet and shreds his pants.)
Gary: Meow!
(Gary jumps onto Puffy Fluffy and bites him. Puffy Fluffy smacks him away and then charges at him.)
Gary: Meow!
(SpongeBob stirs. Downstairs, Puffy Fluffy chases Gary until morning. SpongeBob's alarm sounds.)
SpongeBob: Better go check and see how my little buddies are getting along. (Notices debris) Huh? That's interesting, must have been a seaquake last night. Oh well, what are you gonna do? (Opens the library door, which falls off its hinges) That's unusual. (Notices wreckage in the library) My library! And my prized memoirs of T.S. Halibut. My clothes! This was no random seaquake. Who could have done this? There was no-one here except for … Gary! I bet he's jealous about the new friend. (Goes downstairs) Gary! You are in big trouble, mister! (Tries to open the door to the living room) Gary! Gary, unlock this door immediately! Gary, Gary do you hear? (Inside, Gary is still being terrorised by Puffy Fluffy) Gary? All right, Gary, you have left me no choice. (Barges down the door) Gary!
Gary: Meow! (Being held by Puffy Fluffy)
SpongeBob: You put Fluffy down right now! Bad boy, Gary! Bad, bad, bad boy! Bad, bad Gary, bad! I have told you and told you and told you and told you and told you and oh, hello. (Notices Puffy Fluffy in monster form) Are you a friend of Fluff- (Puffy Fluffy grabs him) What's going on? OK, now this is starting to hurt.
Gary: Meow!
SpongeBob: This is exactly what I was talking ab- (Puffy Fluffy attacks him)
(Gary uses a leash as a lasso to save SpongeBob and chase Puffy Fluffy out of the house)
SpongeBob: Fluffy! Fluffy, wait! Well, Gary, what do you have to say for yourself?
(Cut to the Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: Ah, this is more like it. From now on I'm taking you wherever I go. (Puts Gary down) No more lonely days alone at home.
Mr. Krabs: What's that filthy animal doing in my kitchen?
SpongeBob: It's me, SpongeBob! I brought Gary along to help out. (Puts a crew hat on Gary)
Mr. Krabs: Free labor? Why didn't you say so? Serve 'em up, snail! (Hands Gary a spatula)