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Komputer Overload

Plankton: Oh, come on Karen, please!
Karen: Well, if you must know...
Plankton: There's nothing wrong with Chum Bucket fare. Why look! Here's a fresh batch of a delicious new chum sauce. It's called Spicy Chum Surprise. (the chum falls through the pan and eats up the floor) Delectable!
Karen: Oh, I'm sure it'll be a huge success. (siren goes off)
Plankton: Sorry, no time for your senseless chatter. I've got a customer to attend to.
Customer: Okay, so... what about the Krabby Kola?
Plankton: We don't serve Krabby Kola. We carry Bucket Bubbler and Chum Cherry Blast.
Customer: Okay, well then can I just make sure I get those Krabby Fries with extra Krabby Sauce?
Plankton: (frustrated sigh) How many times must I say it!? We don't carry Krabby Fries, we don't carry Krabby Kola, we don't carry Krabby Sauce, and we don't carry Krabby Patties! So if you want any of those things you're gonna have to go to the Krusty Krab which is located directly across the street.
Customer: Thanks for the directions.
Plankton: Anytime. What is wrong with people?! Honestly, I don't think anyone in Bikini Bottom would know a decent meal if it looked them right in the eye and said, "Hello, I'm a decent meal. Wonderful to meet you! Please pay money for me and then put me in your mouth, so your old pal Plankton doesn't lose everything he's spent his entire life working for!"
Karen: Yeah, and if anyone ever did order one of your meals it probably would look them in the eye.
Plankton: You know Karen, sometimes I wonder if you're here to help me run the Chum Bucket or just to make me feel like I'm two inches tall. (standing next to a ruler which measures him two inches tall)
Karen: Maybe in heels. If it wasn't for me, you probably wouldn't even remember to blink.
Plankton: Oh come on! When we first met, you were little more than a jumbled mass of diodes and wires. I made you what you are today. Literally! So don't think you couldn't be replaced in a heartbeat. Ow.
Karen: What's the matter?
Plankton: My eye is burning and I don't know why.
Karen: Blink.
Plankton: Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me. Now where was I?
Karen: You were threatening to replace me.
Plankton: Oh, yeah, I don't need you! I can make a whole army of computers that might actually help me steal the formula!
Karen: Oh please.
Plankton: I'll show you woman! (walks away)
Plankton: Oh, Karen?
Karen: (watching an old black-and-white movie about computers) Now what?
Plankton: Could you come here for a moment?
Karen: What do you want?
Plankton: Feast your, uh, screen on this. (presses a red button. A toaster on wheels comes out)
Karen: That's my replacement? It's a toaster.
Plankton: (laughs) That, my dear, is a T-119A-Comp-u-matic. The finest of its kind.
T-119A: Good morning, sir.
Plankton: Good morning T-119A. (T-119 short circuits) They're supposed to do that. Next, Behold! The Noxious Enterprises Super SPU31-- liquid-cooled mobile processing unit, a mind staggering combination of both power and refinement. (robot tries o get through the door but breaks his top. Water squirts everywhere)
Karen: That'll help you get the formula.
Plankton: And now Karen, the piece de resistance. (shows the robot) Have you ever witnessed such marvelous machinery?
Karen: It sorta just looks like and old hair dryer taped to the back of a miniature windmill.
Plankton: I can see how someone of your level of technical knowledge would think that,Karen. But in actuality what you are looking at is... oh, right.
Karen: I don't recall you ever having reason to own a hair dryer, Plankton.
Plankton: Okay, here we go! Are you going to make me get the picture down again?
Karen: What picture? (Plankton walks down a hallway and takes a picture off the wall. It's a picture of Karen and Plankton getting married but with Plankton having a full head of hair)
Plankton: You see, plenty of reason to be using a hair dryer.
Karen: Why are we even talking about this?
Plankton: Because you were the one that said... (interrupted by noises in the back)
Karen: What's going on?
Plankton: Dear Neptune! (all the robots are attacking each other)
Plankton: Karen, do something! Quick, they're tearing each other apart! Just press a button or something! (presses the red button)
Plankton: Not that one! (alarm blaring. The water robot pulls out a hammer and hits Plankton with it, flattening him)
(Plankton screams as one robot pulls out a hammer and flattens Plankton)
Karen: Well, it's good to see that that strategy didn't fall flat.
Plankton: You know Karen with you around, I'm beginning to wonder how I'm still alive.
Karen: Oh, so, it's my fault, is it?
Plankton: That's right! Now it's all clear! It's you who've been holding me back! In fact, if it weren't for your constant stifling, I'd have the whole world running for the safety of their mommies!
Karen: You and your crack team of robots, huh? (robots still attacking each other)
Plankton: Maybe I could iron out a few bugs. But then you'll see just how much I need you. (Karen is gone) Karen? What's this? (not on ground) It's words on paper. It says, "Dear Plankton, I've logged onto another network. I just can't go into sleep mode at night knowing that you'll continue blaming me for all of your failures. Anyway, you're a grown single-celled organism, and allowed to make your own syntax errors. Nice knowing you, Karen." Dah! who needs her? Not me! I'm going to steal that Krabby Patty formula from Mr. Krabs once and for all. And then we'll see who's made the error. (laughs) Ow! (reads the rest of note) "P.S., don't forget to blink." Oh, yeah. (cut to later)
Plankton: Okay team, listen up. We're on our own now, so we don't have anything holding us back. Now I know you all look upon me kindly since I am your creator, but the last thing the Chum Bucket needs, if were going to be victorious, is a bunch of soft, uh, software. Does everybody understand? (the water robot gurgles, the toaster dings some toast up to understand) I said, does everybody understand?! (the hair dryer turns on to understand) All right, then let's do this! T-119A to position! SPU31 to position! Command module to position! (Plankton is in the command module, which is all three robots put together. Plankton laughs) Now let's see Krabs stop this. I'll show him. I'll show them all! (laughs)
Perch Perkins: This just in: a diabolical albeit haphazardously, thrown together machine is attacking Bikini Bottom and is headed straight for the Krusty Krab! (Squidward turns off TV in Krusty Krab)
Squidward: Why is the local news always such rubbish?
SpongeBob: Hey, Squidward look. I finally figured out how to get my mop wet without dipping it in the bucket.
Squidward: SpongeBob, nobody cares about... (Krusty Krab is shaking. Plankton comes up to the Krusty Krab, riding his robots)
Plankton: Hey, Krabs, I wanna see you.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, okay boy, get out there. (throws SpongeBob outside)
SpongeBob: Um, hello. What do you want robot thing, sir? (Plankton walks out on a boardwalk) Oh, hey Plankton! What are you doing here?
Plankton: I'm here for the secret formula, you twit. Now I want you to go in there and tell Krabs that if he doesn't turn over the formula to me, he will be subjected to utter annihilation at my... are you getting this?
SpongeBob: (gasps) Hmm-mm.
Plankton: (slaps forehead) Ah, moron! Okay, I'll make it simple. Krabs, give me secret formula or I bring big boom boom to the Krusty Krab. Got it?
SpongeBob: (writing it down on a clipboard) Krabs give me secret formula or... What was that other thing?
Plankton: Ah, forget it! (goes back into the robots. SpongeBob gets tossed at the Krusty Krab window) Bring on the Boom Boom! (Plankton laughs. The robots walk toward the Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: Battle stations men! Here he comes!
SpongeBob: (running around in circles) We're all doomed, we're all doomed! We're all doomed, we're all doomed! Doom, doom, doom-doom-doom. We're all doomed, we're all doomed! We're all doomed, we're all doomed!
Squidward: (walks out the Krusty Krab) Later. (the robots are all plugged in and the cord gets unplugged over at the Chum Bucket)
Plankton: Hey, what gives? (SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs laugh at Plankton. The robots collapse on the ground)
Plankton: (sobs) Oh, curse you cruel fate! Once again, you've left me covered in the sticky goo of my own folly. Only this time, I'm all alone. (sobs. Karen rolls up and clear her 'throat')
Plankton: Karen! You've come back to me!
Karen: Actually, I just came to get my keyboard.
Plankton: Oh, I knew you couldn't stay away, I knew it!
Karen: (sighs) Right, let me guess, another failure?
Plankton: What are you gonna do? Machines these days, right? Uh, listen sweetie, I'm sorry about what I said. Truth is, I could never replace you, honey bunch. Let's go home, hun?
Karen: (sighs) Okay.
Plankton: Hey, I could whip us up a little dinner, what do you say?
Karen: Want me to leave you again?
Plankton: Or we could go out! (mumbles) It'll be fun, too.
End