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Pineapple Fever

(the episode opens showing a shot of SpongeBob's house, and SpongeBob peeking out the window)
(SpongeBob yawns and stretches, goes to his supply closet, and walks outside wearing jellyfishing goggles and holding a net. He clears his throat)
SpongeBob: (walks over to Patrick) Hey, Patrick.
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: All ready to go jellyfishing today? (holds up his net)
Patrick: Nope. (SpongeBob frowns) Just kidding! (he holds up a double net)
SpongeBob: (laughs) I see you even brought your double net.
Patrick: Yup. It's three times as fun.
SpongeBob: Um, Patrick, don't you mean twice as fun?
Patrick: What is?
SpongeBob: Y-your..never mind.
Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, that reminds me. We should probably check the weather report before we go.
SpongeBob: Good idea.
(bubble transition to SpongeBob's living room, where he and Patrick are both watching the news)
TV: And now the weather.
SpongeBob: Here we go. (he turns the TV up)
News Anchor: Thank you, Phil. Today's weather forecast calls for-(he's handed a piece of paper and reads it) A horrible storm will ravage the Bikini Bottom area.
SpongeBob and Patrick: A horrible storm?!
News Anchor: You heard me. Panic is not advised, although it is recommended. Also, an advisory has been issued to avoid any and all jellyfishing, if possible.
(the TV turns off, and SpongeBob is holding wooden boards)
SpongeBob: Patrick, help me get these boards nailed up. (he starts to get them ready)
Patrick: SpongeBob, this seems like a strange time to start decorating.
SpongeBob: Start decora-? You sir, obviously do not recognize fine decorating when you see it. (he gestures to his wall decorations)
Patrick: (studies them) Hmm...
SpongeBob: Admire it later, Patrick. Right now, we've gotta get my house converted into a shelter
capable of withstanding extreme weather.
Patrick: You can say that again.
SpongeBob: Actually, I can't.
Patrick: Why?
SpongeBob: Because I just stepped on one of these nails. (holds up his shoe with a nail through the bottom)
(bubble transition to Squidward's bathroom, where he's about to tweeze his eyebrows)
Squidward: (grabs one of the hairs) Gotcha. Now just one quick flick of the wrist and-
(Patrick hammers one of the boards in, causing Squidward to rip some of his skin off, fall and hit his head on his toilet)
Squidward: (groans, and when he sees the piece of skin in his tweezers, he growls angrily)
(scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick having boarded up all the windows and the door)
Patrick: Violin. (voila)
SpongeBob: Nice work, buddy. Now my house can withstand anything nature has to throw at us)
(Squidward angrily busts down SpongeBob's boarded up front door, and he stands in the doorway, breathing heavily)
Patrick: I guess Squidward's not part of nature.
SpongeBob: Squidward! Did you come to weather out the storm with us?
Squidward: No! I-what storm?
SpongeBob: The one Phil Preflumster told us about.
Squidward: Who's that?
Patrick: He's the weatherman on the news channel. He said..
Squidward: I can't understand a word you're saying.
SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward, it'll be fun. While the elelements rage outside, we'll snuggle in here and pass the time by
playing board games, and playing tic-tac-toe, and drinking hot cocoa, and playing tic-tac-toe, and doing jigsaw puzzles, and
watching TV, and drinking hot cocoa, and doing jigsaw puzzles, and playing board games, and drinking hot tea..
Patrick: I thought it was cocoa!
SpongeBob: Oh, yeah. Hot cocoa we'll be drinking.
Patrick: That's better.
Squidward: Well, I think I'll pass.
SpongeBob: Even if I let you borrow my huggly-snuggly bunny slippers? (he holds up a pair of pink bunny slippers)
Squidward: Hmm, I'll have to think about that.
SpongeBob: Okay, but you better think fast cause Patrick here (gestures to Patrick who's wearing the slippers) really loves my-(Squidward leaves)
(it suddenly turns black outside, thunder and lightning strike, and it starts raining)
(Squidward comes back to the doorway, now blackened and burnt from being struck by lightning)
SpongeBob: Squidward! Welcome back! (holds up the slippers) Here's your slippers.
(the scene cuts to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward on the couch)
SpongeBob: (lights a candle in the darkened living room) There, that's better.
Squidward: What's better about it? I liked it better before, when I could see.
SpongeBob: Squidward, the lights went off.
Squidward: Yes, they did, when you turned them off!
Patrick: (spits out the hot chocolate he was drinking) SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Patrick, what is it?!
Patrick: I never realized how delicious your hot cocoa is!
SpongeBob: Oh, thank you, Patrick.
Squidward: Oh, boy. How about some of those games you promised?
(the scene shows the lightning destroying the leaves on top of SpongeBob's pineapple, and then it cuts to the three in SpongeBob's living room, playing tic-tac-toe)
SpongeBob: Okay, boys. Let's roll to see who goes first.
Squidward: This is tic-tac-toe. You don't roll to see who goes first.
Patrick: He's right. You play rock-paper-scissors for it.
SpongeBob: Oh, yeah.
Patrick: One...
SpongeBob: Two...
Squidward: Three.
(they all cast paper)
SpongeBob: Oh, it's a tie.
Patrick: Darn it!
(all three): One, two, three.
(they all cast paper again)
Patrick: Darn it! (to Squidward) Oh, I'll get you next time.
Squidward: One, two three.
SpongeBob: Tie.
Patrick: Darn it!
Squidward: One, two three.
SpongeBob: Tie.
Patrick: Darn it!
(scene cuts to Squidward showing the tic-tac-toe board, which has three Xs in a row diagonally to SpongeBob and Patrick, who study it)
Squidward: There. I win, see?
SpongeBob and Patrick: Hmm.
Patrick: I'm not seeing anything there.
SpongeBob: Yeah, looks like a lot of junk.
Squidward: What do you mean you're not seeing anything?! There's three in a row right here! Tic-tac-toe!
Patrick: Easy, friend.
SpongeBob: Yeah, relax, Squidward. We're just here to have fun.
SpongeBob: (checks the tic-tac-toe rule book) Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. Here we go. Congratulations, Squidward.
(SpongeBob and Patrick both applaud him)
Patrick: Well played. (Squidward starts sputtering in disbelief)
(scene cuts to outside, and back to SpongeBob's living room)
SpongeBob: Come on, Patrick. You can do it.
(scene shows Patrick holding the last piece of a puzzle, while sweating and moaning nervously)
SpongeBob: Be the puzzle piece.
Patrick: Cannot complete jigsaw puzzle. Difficulty level too advanced. Rate of brain activity increasing aging process (quickly grows old and gray) by thirty years per second.
SpongeBob: Come on, Grandpa, you can do it. You still got a few good years left in you.
Patrick: (holds an ear trumpet up to his ear) Eh?
SpongeBob: (shouts into the ear trumpet) Go, Patrick, go! Go, Patrick, go! Go, Patrick, go! Go, Patrick, go! Go, Patrick, go! Go, Patrick, go!
(the noise wakes up Squiward, who was sleeping on the couch, and he angrily walks over to SpongeBob and Patrick)
Squidward: I told you creatures I was trying to take a nap over here. Now for the last time, can't you just-
SpongeBob: Hang on, Squidward. Patrick was just about to figure out where the last piece of this puzzle goes. (shouts into the ear trumpet) Weren't you, Patrick?
Patrick: (gestures to Squidward) Who's the green guy?
Squidward: It's the last piece of the puzzle! There's only one place it can go! Right here! (he points to the blank space, and starts breathing heavily)
SpongeBob: (gasps) Squidward. It wasn't your turn. That's cheating.
Squidward: Cheating?! It's a jigsaw puzzle! You can't cheat!
Sopngebob: Oh, it's okay. We'll just start over. (he disassembles the puzzle)
Squidward: (starts freaking out) I gotta get out of here! (he runs outside, and like what happened earlier, gets struck by lightning and crawls back to SpongeBob and Patrick, who's now his normal self again)
SpongeBob: Oh, welcome back, Squidward. We were right about to start figuring out where this first puzzle piece goes.
Oh! Maybe Squidward can help us to-
Squidward: No, he can't.
SpongeBob: Please, Squidward?
Squidward: No way.
SpongeBob: (holds up puzzle piece in front of Squidward) Please?
Squidward: I have an even better idea.
SpongeBob: What is it?
Patrick: Yeah, tell us!
(they both start repeating "Tell us")
Squidward: (quietly) Shh! Quiet time. It's a game called "Boundaries".
Patrick: (raises hand) Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Squidward: Yes, Patrick?
Patrick: Uh, will there be any spelling in this game?
Squidward: Oh, no. No spelling.
Patrick: Yes!
Squidward: It's very simple. The object of the game is to see how long everyone
can leave Squidward alone. Until the storm passes, he will stay inside boundaries he
defines with chalk lines on the floor.
SpongeBob: (raises hand) I have a question.
Squidward: What?
SpongeBob: Where are you gonna get the chalk?
Squidward: I...brought some! (he holds it up, and smiles deviously as lightning crashes outside)
(Squidward walks up the steps, draws a line from the top step to SpongeBob's bedroom door, throws the chalk back to SpongeBob and Patrick, and slams the door)
Squidward: (inside SpongeBob's room, leaning against the door, sighs happily) Brilliant work as usual, Squidward.
Now all I have to do is sit in here until this storm blows over. (his stomach growls) Wait a minute. I'm starving!
SpongeBob's gotta have some snacks in here somwehere. (he stumbles upon a brown bag labeled "Food" with a sock on top of it, covering the other letters)
Ah, jackpot! (he starts eating the food)
Gary: Meow!
Squidward: (to Gary) Ha, ha, ha. I bet you wish you had some of this, don't-(he suddenly stops chewing, and takes the sock off the back to reveal...) Snail Food?!
Squidward: (screams in disgust, drops the bag, and starts wiping his tongue off)
(he opens the bedroom door) I gotta find some real food. Maybe in the kitchen.
(he comes upon SpongeBob who's dressed as a crossing guard beside a makeshift ticket station)
SpongeBob: Halt! Nobody is to cross this boundary.
Squidward: I'm the one who drew this line you're not supposed to cross.
SpongeBob: If you are the one who drew it, let me see your identification papers.
Squidward: Identifi-fine. But when this storm is over, you are gonna regret this, mister. (digs in his pocket, but comes up empty)
I don't have them. They must be in my other pants. Look, if you just let me cross, I can go and get them.
Please, I promise I'll-
SpongeBob: Hmm, you may be telling the truth.
Squidward: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm just so hungry.
SpongeBob: But then again, you may not. Come with me, we shall find out the truth.
Squidward: Oh, that'll be the day! (he runs down the steps, SpongeBob blows his whistle at him and follows him)
Squidward: (runs to the kitchen, opens the fridge, and takes an armload of food out)
SpongeBob: (appears in the kitchen doorway) Stop, that cephalopod!
(he jumps on top of Squidward, who runs into the living room with the food)
Squidward: Oh, please. I just want to get back on my side of the boundary.
SpongeBob: This I cannot allow. It is against the rules.
Squidward: But all I wanted is something to eat.
Patrick: Did somebody say something to eat?
(SpongeBob and Squidward crash into Patrick, sending the food flying everywhere)
Squidward: My food!
SpongeBob: Your food?
Patrick: Hey, I want some too!
(they all run around the living room, acting like monkeys. SpongeBob grabs a piece of bread,
Patrick grabs a soda can and starts gnawing on it, and Squidward grabs a Krabby Patty, which SpongeBob yanks away from him)
(Squidward angrily grunts at SpongeBob, who chatters like a monkey, as they start a tug-of-war
over the Krabby Patty, it gets stuck on the ceiling)
Squidward: (looks at SpongeBob sadly) Is this really what we've come to? Is one little storm all it takes
to turn us into complete animals?
SpongeBob: Apparently so. (they both hang their heads in shame) Well, that and a refrigerator
full of food, anyways.
Squidward: Hey, did you hear that?
SpongeBob: Oh, it's just Patrick gnawing on his can.
Squidward: No, no, no, no. Not that. I mean from outside.
SpongeBob: I didn't hear anything.
Squidward: (starts running for the door) The storm must've stopped.
SpongeBob: Squidward, wait!
Squidward: (takes the boards off the front door) Woo-hoo! So long, suckers!
(he runs outside, and we see that the storm has caused the pineapple to be lifted into the air on top of a tornado,
and Squidward runs off the walkway, falls and starts screaming)
Squidward: (lands on the ground with a groan) Curse you, Preflumster.
End