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Suction Cup Symphony

(Squidward is playing the clarinet while SpongeBob is planting flowers on the side of his house)
SpongeBob: Sounds like Squidward ate at Mario's last night. (laughs) Good thing no one's around to notice his embarassing... (gasps) Those construction workers! (two workers are hammering a sign) Squidward will die of embarassment if they hear his dilemma. Poor Squidward. He must be in too much pain to make courtesy noises. (breathes in deep and sticks his chest out) I'll cover for him. (getting the construction workers attention while Squidward is playing the clarinet badly) Whoa! Sorry, fellas. (nervous chuckling) This sure is a noisy trowel. (makes raspberries) Look at this thing! (workers stare at him and then turn back around to continue working) Oh, I really should get... (Squidward plays his clarinet) La-la-la-la! (blabbering and banging on a pale. Squidward notices him making these noises)
Squidward: SpongeBob, will you keep it down?! I am trying to hone my musical talent here.
SpongeBob: You mean that wasn't gastrointestinal distress?
Squidward: (talking to workers) And you guys! Do you really think that billboard is more important than my musical genius?
Worker #1: Well, sorry, but some of us rather enjoy the Bikini Bottom Symphony Orchestra.
Squidard: Bikini Bottom Symphony Orchestra?
Worker #1: And we find their public announcements to be quite interesting. (other construction worker finished putting up the other half of the billboard sign)
Squidward: (reading sign) "Original compositions wanted?" Me, a famous composer? (imagines himself in a live audience then riding in a back of a limo why the cloud is cheering) Thank you, thank you! (limo stops in front of a theater with the sign reading "Squidward Tentacles Tonight!" Coming back to reality, he melts at the thought) That would be nice. (runs outside and kisses worker #1)
Worker #1: Ewww!
Squidward: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! Yeah-ha-ha-ha!
SpongeBob: You've really made him happy.
Worker #2: I know what I've done.
SpongeBob: O-kay... (cut to Squidward sitting down about to write)
Squidward: Okay. (inhales then exhales) Pull it together, Squidward. Put your game face on. (Squidward puts a mask that says "I'm #1!" on his head) Ah, that's better. (picks up the pen) Take your time with this one, Squidward, old boy. (hears some banging outside and sticks his head out to see what it is. He reads the new sign) "Due tommorow?!" (runs around screaming) Only one day to write my masterpiece.
SpongeBob: (standing next to Squidward) Don't worry, Squidward. We'll do it together.
Squidward: No! (squishes SpongeBob into a ball then kicks it) Get out! (balls bounces off the wall and when it returns it's a Patrick ball) Patrick, what're you doing here?
Patrick: Uh... I don't know. (smiles) I'm funny? (squishes Patrick into a ball then kicks it. When the ball comes back, it's SpongeBob and Patrick)
SpongeBob: Are you sure you don't want any help, Squidward?
Squidward: No, thank you. (drops them outside the window) I am a solitary artiste! (both land on the ground grunting and groaning)
Patrick: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?
Patrick: I think I broke my bottom.
SpongeBob: (laughs) You broke your bottom. Patrick, you're a card. (Patrick shows his butt) Whoa! (there is a bone sticking out of each side of the bottom)
Patrick: Yeah. (grunts as he pushes the bones back in his bottom but as he sighs, the bones are in his mouth) Ohh. Much better.
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, I think you should see a doctor.
Patrick: I can't see a doctor. My job doesn't provide me with health insurance.
SpongeBob: What job is that?
Patrick: Exactly. (cut to Squidward writing and laughing)
Squidward: I am a genius. (hears SpongeBob and stops writing)
SpongeBob: The doctor will see you now, Mr. Star. (SpongeBob blows Patrick into a balloon with the blood pressure pump. The pump explodes and deflates Patrick back onto the table he was sitting on) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmmm.
Squidward: Can't you two be quiet for one day? My composition is due tommorow.
SpongeBob: Oh, no No, no, no, no, no, no. My patient is very sick!
Patrick: Hey, I broke my butt.
Squidward: (growling and sighing) Become famous, revenge later. Hmm! (thinking) Come on! Be inspired! (Squidward's brain is being rained on and then the storm stops and reveals a rainbow. On top of Squidward's head is a rainbow and he starts writing) Brilliant! (Patrick screams and Squidward stops writing. Starts again then Patrick screams again and Squidward stops writing. The rainbow on his head melts and Squidward screams) No! (sobs) Why?! Why? Why? Oh, why? (Patrick hits his knee with a hammer and SpongeBob times his reaction to scream then writes it down. Squidward is fuming but goes back to writing)
Patrick: (moaning) Aaaahhhh.... (SpongeBob is looking in his mouth. Squidward goes back to writing then Patrick screams a few times because of the x-ray that SpongeBob is giving him. Squidward goes back to writing then is interrupted by SpongeBob giving Patrick an exam. Patrick whoops. The clock on Squidward's wall goes around for a few hours while SpongeBob and Patrick make all sorts of noises while Squidward is writing. At dawn, a bell dings) I did it. (kisses the papers) Ya-ha-ha-ha! Yes! (runs out of his house) I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!
Patrick: (laughs as he watches Squidward run off) Did what?
Squidward: (at the theatre) Here you go, maestro. My masterpiece.
Conductor: Hmm. Oh, very unusual. I think we have a winner, Mr. Tentacles! (Squidward smiles. Cut to the orchestra concert)
Announcer Fish: Good evening, music lovers of Bikini Bottom. Tonight is the premiere of a new symphony written by one of our own, Squidward Tentacles. (Squidward walks up in a tuxedo and starts playing the song. A triumphant tune plays throughout as Patrick is moaning and holding a popsicle stick on his tongue, like earlier. Then Patrick hits his knee with a hammer and SpongeBob times it, like earlier. Squidward drew the picture of them doing this on his papers)
Squidward: I wrote down everything I heard? (gulps then looks at the audience who is murmuring with each other. SpongeBob drops a brick on Patrick's leg. Patrick screams. SpongeBob drops an anchor on Patrick's leg then Patrick screams)
Fish #1: Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark! (SpongeBob puts on a rubber glove then squeaks a rubber duck while Patrick is whooping. X-ray is given with Patrick screaming as SpongeBob pulls up and down on the lever to turn it on and off. A laughing machine is used on Patrick. Then Patrick is reading magazines in a 'waiting room.' SpongeBob spins his chair around and around to reach Patrick's brain. He pounds it twice causing Patrick to toot twice then burp once. More magazines, laughing machine, x-rays, a rubber glove and duck)
Patrick: Whoo! (reads more magazines as SpongeBob tickles his brain. SpongeBob peeks his head out of a drum and uses the blood pressure pump to expand Patrick out of a drum and into the air like a balloon. Patrick pops and goes around and around and flies into Squidward as the concert ends)
Fish #2: That poor guy.
Squidward: Patrick, get off of me! (Patrick gets off and Squidward growls at him. He then looks at the audience, who is silent. Squidward hangs his head in shame and starts walking until the audience cheers after what they just heard)
Audience: Bravo!
Woman Fish #1: Oh, now that's what I call music!
Woman Fish #2: That little yellow guy is awesome.
Fish #3: Let us not forget the chubby starfish.
Fred: Oh yeah, but the real genius is the composer.
All: (chanting) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
SpongeBob: Wow, Squidward! They really like you. Just don't get a swelled head. (Squidward's head inflates when Patrick uses the blood pressure pump on him. The screen goes black as a popping sound is heard)
End