FIRST EPISODE!!!!!!
Episode 1a: Bologna
(Title sequence)
(Title Card)
(cuts to BagelsinEurope's (Will be known as Bagel) house, where he is waking up and getting prepared for the day as he walks out the door, only to see the drifter hyperventilating in front of him)
Bagel: Uh, hello?
Drifter: You shall seek wrath in tin cans!
(Drifts away)
(Bagel scratches his head confused, and then walks down Schadenfreude St.)
Popeye Q. Krabs: Oh no.
(Bagel gets a call)
Bagel: Really? He's getting married? Wedding?
(Bagel drops a plate, and Popeye angrily walks out of the house)
Popeye: Why did you just drop a-OWWWW!
(Shows a close up of a piece of a plate lodged into his foot)
Bagel: What's a OWWWW!
Popeye: I mean a plate, you dunderhead!
Bagel: It's a Greek tradition!
Popeye: I never knew you were Greek.
Bagel: I'm not! I'm polish!
Popeye: Then why did you do a Greek tradition!?
Bagel: Because it tortures you!
Popeye: AND YOU WANT TO TORTURE ME!?
Bagel: No, but writers think that's funny!
(Bagel walks down the street more)
Popeye: No wonder they call this Schadenfreude St.
(Squidward walks into the scene)
Squidward: I hear you loud and clear.
(Meg from family guy comes in)
Meg: I agree,
Peter griffin in background: Shut up Meg, nobody cares about your opinions.
Popeye and Squidward: Fat loser.
(Cut to next scene)
(Filler walk cycle sequence with Bagel walking across the street, then New York City, then Hong Kong, then an industrial wasteland, then Antarctica, then The Moon, then a planet with the aliens from The Simpsons, then back onto his street, next to his office building, as he walks in, with Cha doodling and Milkman scratching in the offices next to him.)
Bagel: Now time to work!
(Bagel falls a sleep on his keyboard)
(The computer says "Bologna" which has bagel's head accidentally hit send to Vladimir Putin)
Meanwhile in Russia...
Vladimir Putin: (in Russian) I have received this message from America! They wanting to bomb Russia!
Assistant: (also in Russian) But sir, not every message means nuclear war!
Vladimir Putin as he boards his helicopter: (still in Russian) I do not speak the American language! It must mean some threat!
(ssj walks in.)
ssj, tapping Bagel: Wake up bagel.
ssj. Wake up!
(ssj grabs megaphone)
ssj: HEY WAKE UP!!!!!
(Bagel's eardrum explodes)
Cha: *chuckle*
Bagel: Jeez, do you gotta be so loud?
(Ling-Ling walks in)
Bagel: Where have you guys been?
(ssj shrugs)
Ling-Ling: Hey, who put that gas bucket there?
(Putin's helicopter breaks in to drop a candle)
ssj: Oh no! That candle he dropped is going to land in the bucket of gas and explode!
(BrickSponge2015 falls from the sky to catch the candle)
Brick: I'm back!
ssj: Brick, you saved us from a horrible explosion!
Brick: Oh. Sorry.
(Brick throws the candle in the gas, and gets blown away from the explosion)
ssj: Just great.
Putin: (in Russian) This is only the beginning, Americans!
Ling-Ling: Yeah, well what's next?
ssj and Bagel: SSSSSH!
(Putin pulls out a Nuke)
All: HOLY *dolphin noise*
Miles 'Tails' Prower (in a different scene): I ate those food
(Cuts to next scene in a dim room)
President Squidward: And now, I launch my latest weapon, THE KILLORAY! It kills everything it touches!
(Prez touches the activate button, and launches it out and destroys the nuke)
Putin: Now I gotta go back to Russia and get another!
Bagel: QUICK! Somebody add the trope "Negative Continuity" to our tropes list!
Putin: Screw You!
Bagel: Now we can get onto TV Tropes sooner!
(TV Tropes walks in)
TV Tropes: ssj, I am your father!
ssj: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Bagel: That's two more tropes!
The End.
I know this seems forced and rushed, but I tried to make a decent and funny plot for a pilot, while introducing the characters and making it seem like a real show. I know it sucked, but you try making a good transcript for this!