Ah, “Oral Report”. I won’t say that you’re infamous, but you definitely don’t have a good reputation. I know I’ve rated this episode lowly in my past, but I don’t remember ever having strong feelings towards it, so of course a rewatch was very, very necessary. The only thing I could really remember, other than the barest bones of the plot, before rewatching was that the title card for this episode was adorable with all the little doodles on it.
The beginning of this episode is…not a great omen, as it is very boring. The staredown between Squidward and the customers does not engage me whatsoever, and the plot reveal that SpongeBob is preparing for an oral report for Boating School does not exactly give me a good feeling about what is to come. Because the only thing that matters in Boating School, let’s be completely real right now, is the test. The last time the show tried to extend Boating School beyond that was like in season 3 (well, there was “Nautical Novice” too…but I just don’t count that one, it’s not the same to me). Since then, Boating School has been all about the test, and so I automatically don’t care about this report. Hopefully that makes sense.
I also think that SpongeBob having a fear of public speaking doesn’t really fit with who he is. He’s the kind of guy who makes friends with everyone, can talk to anyone. Suddenly manifesting this fear doesn’t follow. I would get it if it was specifically limited to the pressure of doing “well”, but it’s not, as shown by how he cowers from the Krusty Krab customers, so I don’t really like this story beat either. It feels like the episode sacrifices coherency for relatability, and I'm not a fan of that.
And then we of course get random Patrick inclusion in this episode, which makes enough sense I suppose. But this does lead into the part of the episode that I probably dislike the most, which is SpongeBob’s practice speech. And that’s because Patrick acts very annoyingly. See how we’ve already started a trend in season 8? Also, this scene is boring. Much like last episode, this scene is that almost paradoxical mix of annoying and boring, and that’s a horrible combination for me. The various things Patrick forces SpongeBob to do are just completely nonsensical, and unfortunately not entertaining for me. The only credit I can give this part of the episode is that in his own twisted way, Patrick is at least trying to help…at least I think he is. It’s much better than him being malicious for maliciousness’ sake, at least.
As if I wasn’t already annoyed enough by this episode, “Oral Report” decided it truly wanted me irritated because it does that stupid thing where they disrespect Sandy yet again. Why does Patrick not know who Sandy is? Why does he not know who Sandy is when they were on a first-name basis TWO EPISODES AGO. I get resetting character dynamics between characters in this show, but maybe don’t do that for the main characters? Just a thought. Also, I guess this episode confirms that Sandy does just walk around in her underwear…good for her, honestly.
Finally, we get to the actual report, thank god. And it goes just about as well as a trainwreck. Yeah, this is simply unpleasant to watch and goes on for so, so long. And no, I have no idea why Patrick is there either. I don’t understand what is supposed to be funny about uncomfortable things. Not to mention it’s my beloathed—secondhand embarrassment. Whyyyyyyy. Thankfully, we get a reprieve as this episode moves to chaos mode, which thank god because this is far more interesting than anything else we’ve sat through so far. And then I did think it was kind of funny how SpongeBob just ended up giving his whole oral report to the police officers, while they just stared on blankly. This show is very good at blank stares. And of course, Mrs. Puff ends up going to jail, which I feel apathetic about. It’s a running gag of her character, nothing more, nothing less.
“Oral Report” was not that good. Like last episode, it was boring and annoying and I did not have a very good time watching it until the last 2 minutes, which makes this whole enterprise so disappointing, because the potential was there, it was just squandered.
Episode Tier: Mediocre
Episode Score: 5.3/10