Oh here we go. Season 7, you couldn’t help but have one last annoying episode, could you? Well, I know “Big Sister Sam” is coming up, but I’m still being foolish about that one, so right now I’m gonna focus on “You Don’t Know Sponge”. Unsurprisingly, this was an episode that I hadn’t seen in quite a long time. And after rewatching it, I can clearly understand why: it’s not a good episode.
This episode is one of those ones where one of the biggest sources of dislike stems from the fact that this episode is disappointing as H. Because just like I said in my review of “The Secret Box” that’s coincidentally dropping today on my YouTube lol, I love the idea of a plot centered on SpongeBob and Patrick’s friendship. Hell, I liked “The Battle of Bikini Bottom” for this reason. And see, this episode takes that idea, and throws it in the garbage with this sorry excuse for a plot between these two best friends. It’s not even that Patrick is a jerk here (well, it is, actually, but I’ll get to that later), it’s that he’s made out to be so much of an idiot that he knows not a single thing about his best friend, which is stupid. Some of us just want simple, wholesome content, is that too much to ask for?
Another problem with this episode, since it seems like this is how I’m organizing things today, is that it drags things on too much, and isn’t funny. Let’s take this beginning scene as an example. SpongeBob and Patrick making random noises is an interesting enough choice for our starting plot point, but it’s not that good. And Patrick being not only an idiot but a babyish idiot is not exactly great either. Lastly, the whole section where SpongeBob and Patrick kept trying to let the other go first was bordering annoying, but luckily Squidward improved that bit immensely by having the same reaction as the rest of us. And then when we get to the best friends’ quiz, this part is insanely predictable, and goes on for too long. I don’t mind predictable, but considering I already hate this plot, being predictable certainly isn’t helping. Thinking of this scene, I think it’s suffering from “trying-to-be-season-1” disease, because it has that slow feel of season 1, but it fails in every regard. Honestly when those conversation-type tracks come up, a good 50% of the time it’s a boring scene. It’s sad that such good tracks are so unfortunately associated. At least Squidward’s deadpan snark helps lighten things up in this scene. And I did actually like how SpongeBob was slowly getting more and more unsettled by Patrick’s lack of knowledge about him.
"You Don’t Know Sponge” harkens back to a real old episode, “Naughty Nautical Neighbors”, with Squidward acting as an instigator between SpongeBob and Patrick. And I appreciate that. Kind of. The problem is that this episode completely lacks the charm of that one, where SpongeBob and Patrick get mad at each other because of Squidward’s machinations, not because SpongeBob is rightfully angry that Patrick is a god-awful friend. And speaking of, it’s not pleasant to watch SpongeBob be mistreated by Patrick, by the way. I already went off on this with “Stuck in the Wringer”, don’t make me say it again. At least Sandy appears in this episode, and she gives pretty good advice. Well…her appearance in this episode is a symptom of yet another problem, which is that this episode treats SpongeBob as if he’s overreacting for his feelings here, when I don’t think he is at all. He would be if the conflict rose with just the best friends quiz, but the issue is that Patrick is a very selfish friend, but the episode doesn’t actually properly address that, acting like the only issue SpongeBob has with Patrick is him not knowing the answers to the best friends’ quiz. It’s weird, and makes the episode internally inconsistent and even incoherent. It’s like this episode wanted to be a “SpongeBob is paranoid” type of episode, but then they actually wrote Patrick being a bad friend, so now the episode doesn’t work.
I’m kind of astounded that somehow this episode manages to make the conflict between SpongeBob and Patrick boring. And it does this because it doesn’t even make an actual conflict. Instead, SpongeBob is upset at Patrick, and Patrick is too dumb to understand it, and so nothing of substance happens. Like I don’t even get catharsis from SpongeBob telling Patrick to take a long hike or nothing like that. How disappointing. And again it’s just so very boring.
I really don’t have anything else to say about “You Don’t Know Sponge”. On a writing level, this episode is simply a mess. And on a viewing level, it’s boring, disappointing, and decently unpleasant. I engaged more with my debate on whether to put the episode in Tolerable or Bad than I did with the actual content, if that tells you anything. I’m going with Bad only because I can’t even focus on the positives here like I might be able to with a Tolerable-tier. And also, the writing is just embarrassing here, so I can’t let that slide.
Episode Tier: Bad
Episode Score: 3.8/10
Dancing (Good)
This episode was so bad.0/10