“Professor Squidward” is yet another average, unremarkable episode from season 6. Before rewatching, I could remember the basic plot of the episode, as well as the one big joke with the metronome. So I’m not sure if I’d call this episode forgettable, but it does fade into the background, I think.
It’s nice to see an episode that follows a different character. I mean, we’ve been getting them this season, but it’s always just nice to see anyway. It’s also nice to see Squilliam again in this episode, especially knowing that I’m approaching the end of his episode appearances lol. Squidward’s turtleneck in this episode is also a good design choice, I like when they change up the ways characters look, but particularly when it’s these subtle ways. The way that this entire plot surrounds Squidward being mistaken for Squilliam raises some questions from me…is it that all squids look alike, or are fish just racist? I kid, I kid. But also I mean the headmistress is exceedingly dumb to believe Squidward when he says he’s Squilliam after his whole loud display, not to mention he doesn’t even have the unibrow. But I mean, the characters in this show aren’t necessarily known for their common sense lol. And I mean this part is funny to me so it really doesn’t matter, especially once they start roasting Squidward.
From here, the episode kind of reminds me of “Artist Unknown”. But before anyone says anything, there’s nothing wrong with that, and I also am against the propensity to call things “rip-offs”, because I think that’s dumb lol. First off, how can you rip off yourself? And yes, usually it’s different writers writing the episodes that people consider to be rip-offs, but y’all know what I mean. A show can’t rip itself off…it can use similar plots, but rip-off just makes no sense to me. That was my little tangent I guess. And all of that is to say that the only similarity between this episode and “Artist Unknown” is Squidward teaching a class about something related to the arts. That’s it. I mean I guess SpongeBob being one of his students is a similarity, but then that’s really it.
Squidward coming in with that ugly a** wig is hilarious to me. Also I didn’t know this until I started watching some British crime dramas (
Broadchurch lovers, where you at?), but apparently lawyers (and judges) in the UK wear those ugly wigs to trials? That’s horrendous. Anyway, this beginning scene with the name-writing is awkward humor. It’s of a different kind to the type that I abhor, but it is still based in awkwardness, with Billy being like “this guy is weird”, and us being like “this interaction is weird”. So while it doesn’t really annoy me like the slow, not talking type of awkward humor does, it does feel boring.
And then SpongeBob and Patrick come in, and I already get a bad feeling seeing that
design of SpongeBob that I can’t stand. Also, I’m really starting to become tired with the constant use of the same dynamic between these 3. Like we can have other kinds of dynamics between all 3 of them you know, it doesn’t have to be SpongeBob and Patrick randomly messing up whatever Squidward’s trying to do. Though I guess here it’s a little different since Squidward is definitely in the wrong for lying and assuming Squilliam’s identity. But like, again I see no use for Patrick here. It could’ve been SpongeBob on his own and nothing would’ve changed, not even the humor. I don’t know what’s going on with having Patrick randomly be in these episodes he has no business being in (well, I do have an idea, and it’s about marketability), but it’s very tiring to me. At least the banter between SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward in this scene is actually entertaining to me (well, entertaining after Squidward tells them to refer to him as Squilliam). I like how they’re talking about new years’ resolutions, idk it just feels very…common and small-talk like, which adds to this show I think. And this episode does lean into the adult side of things (kind of…SpongeBob and Patrick give adult learners much more than college students), so that’s nice.
Moving on, we get probably the least funny version of the whole “repetitive interruption” type of joke I’ve gotten in this show so far. For other examples of this kind of joke, think Squidward introducing Pearl in “Culture Shock”, or the whole Sheldon thing in “Plankton’s Army”. But anyway, SpongeBob’s laugh isn’t necessarily annoying here (I feel like I’ve built a very high tolerance to his laugh, it rarely irritates me), but it also isn’t exactly engendering hilarious feelings. And then when Squidward confronts SpongeBob and Patrick, the scene feels so freaking slow. Especially with Patrick’s delivery of “He’s making that up! It was him!”, that was just so weirdly done. And then the reveal that SpongeBob was tickling himself really just makes all of this feel pointless to me? Idk. Though it’s improved exponentially when after Squidward puts the whole class in a line, Patrick does end up tickling SpongeBob. That was funny. Too bad it doesn’t last, because we get yet another slow-going scene after this one, now between Patrick and Squidward.
I can tell that the episode is going for more of a light plot and heavy on the gags kind of vibe, but the problem is the gags are not very good, and nearly all the scenes in the bulk of the episode feel slow and empty. Like the witty humor is actually there for the most part, as we saw in the beginning interaction between Squidward, Patrick, and SpongeBob, but the rest of the humor just isn’t really there. Like visual gags? Nope. Reactions? Nope. Slapstick? This episode doesn’t even try, which is fine, but I mean that’s just another bit of humor that’s not present. And the witty humor in this episode only comes once in a while, so all the other attempts at jokes just don’t work. And this metronome bit is just…boring. I at least like how absurd it is.
And then when Squidward ends up being revealed as a liar, it’s very anticlimactic. Like SpongeBob and Patrick end up revealing him through their apology, which to me is dumb because they had clearly understood they should call Squidward ‘Squilliam’. Like the reveal should’ve been more interesting and chaotic. And we eventually get that once the police bust in and arrest Squidward, but even then that’s not enough. And then the episode ends with SpongeBob and Patrick placing themselves back in the metronome trance, which would’ve been better had the metronome joke happened earlier in the episode, and not like a minute before this. Call-backs work better the farther away they are from the original instance (to a point, of course).
“Professor Squidward” starts off well, but then tapers off pretty quickly, which is disappointing. It’s always rough to see an episode begin with so much potential that is promptly squandered. But seriously, this episode is just so freaking boring. This is definitely a trend so far in these season 6 episodes, with so many episodes just wasting time and not being funny, and I don’t know what’s going on. It’s also just weird because for so many of them I can’t put them any lower that “Okay”-tier, because while they bore me, they don’t really irritate me or anything, so there’s no reason to put them in “Mediocre”. But anyway, I think for this episode the big issue is that I’m sitting there just waiting for it to actually start. All the scenes in this episode feel like set-ups or the beginnings of something, not entire jokes on their own. So I just leave feeling unsatisfied. I also didn’t like the pretty much the only characters to do anything in this episode are SpongeBob and Patrick and Squidward. What was the point of having these background characters there if they weren’t going to add to the humor at all? I mean we had Billy at least, so there was at least an attempt to utilize the background characters, but unfortunately that one attempt was very boring.
Episode Tier: Mediocre
Episode Score: 5.8/10
