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Krusty Krushers

Perch Perkins: Perch Perkins here and coming to you live from the Bikini Bottom wrestling royal rumble free-for-all. (Mr. Krabs comes up)
Mr. Krabs: Free?! Gimme, gimme, gimme! (runs around with his claws in the air ready to grab at free stuff) Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Gimme! Gimme. Gimme? (walks back up to Perch) Uh, what do I get?
Perch Perkins: Well, what you get is the most anticipated event of the wrestling season. (a line of tough fish are lined up to face the champs) Hundreds of wrestlers from around the world face off against the heavyweight champs. (both wrestling champs roar. One punches the other in the gut while the other breaks his partner in half. Both roar) Anyone who can defeat these giants will earn the championship title.
Mr. Krabs: (yawns) Big deal.
Perch Perkins: And the million-dollar cash prize. (one of the wrestlers is stepping on a green bag of money with a dollar sign on it)
Mr. Krabs: Million... dollar... cash? Prize! (rips off his shirt and screams, then goes to back of line) Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Money, money, money, money, money, money, money, money... (hears contestants getting beaten up by the wrestlers) (nervously) Money...money...money. Money? (a couple of medical fish come up to the ring) Ohh... (a pile of contestants is on the ring floor and then taken off)
Ex-Convict: My leg! My leg!
Mr. Krabs: No living soul should have to suffer through what I've witnessed here today. Except maybe...
(cut to SpongeBob & Patrick, blindfolded, running in the tunnel where the tough fish were lined up)
SpongeBob: Where are you taking us, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Now go get them!
SpongeBob: What do you think the surprise is, Patrick?
Patrick: I don't know. What do you think it is?
SpongeBob: I don't know. What do you... (run into the champs) Whatever it is, it's really big!
Patrick: (pops out from one of the wrestlers' hairy chest) And hairy. (the purple wrestler breathe on SpongeBob, who coughs everytime)
SpongeBob: And it smells angry.
Patrick: Is it time to look yet?
SpongeBob: You peek first.
Patrick: No, you peek first. (the champs squeeze both SpongeBob and Patrick to make their eyeballs pop out through their blindfolds. SpongeBob & Patrick yell and run behind Mr. Krabs)
SpongeBob: Hey, who are those guys, Mr. Krabs? They look like they want to hurt us.
Mr. Krabs: What?! Those two? Ah, they're harmless. It's all just part of the act.
SpongeBob: The act?
Mr. Krabs: Of course. They're just pretending.
Patrick: Pretending?
SpongeBob & Patrick: We like pretending!
Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Don't we all?
Patrick: Can we wear costumes?
Mr. Krabs: Uh... sure.
Patrick: (turns to show his butt) Hey, SpongeBob, how do I look?
SpongeBob: Wow. Looks like those Iron Bun workout videos are really paying off. (cut to show Patrick doing bun workouts at home)
Exercise Girl: Two. Three. And four steps closer to your dream body. (cut to Patrick sleeping and still doing the bun exercise)
Patrick: I can even do it in my sleep.
SpongeBob: Wow! Can we have cool nicknames too?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, fine. (points to SpongeBob) You're the, uh, Short Order Boy. (points to Patrick) And he's the, uh, uh, Pink Patty.
SpongeBob: And together we are...
Mr. Krabs: The Krusty Krushers. Now go out there and wrestle me up a million dollars!
SpongeBob: This is going to be so fun! Yeah!
Patrick: Whoo!
SpongeBob: Yeah!
Patrick: Whoo!
SpongeBob: Yeah!
Patrick: Whoo!
SpongeBob: Yeah!
Patrick: Whoo!
SpongeBob: Okay, we're ready.
Referee: (looking at watch) Hmm? Oh, yeah. Oh, send the mic down. We've got fresh meat.
SpongeBob: Actually, we're here to fake wrestle.
Patrick: And to pretend wrestle.
Referee: Yeah, whatever. (clears throat) In this corner, we have the challengers, the Krusty Krushers!
(both tear a Krabby Patty like they're angry)
SpongeBob: (burps) Ooh, excuse me.
Mr. Krabs: You can do it!
Referee: And on the opposite side of the ring, we have the undefeated champions! (the green wrestler is lifting weights. The purple wrestler takes the weight, squishes it into a patty shape, puts it on a bun and eat its. Then burps in his partner's face until his face comes off)
SpongeBob & Patrick: (dancing around) Happy thoughts, happy thoughts... happy thoughts...
SpongeBob: Did it just get dark in here?
Patrick: Dark? I'm afraid of the dark!
SpongeBob: Oh, don't be afraid. It's just them.
Patrick: Oh, right. Yeah, it's just those guys we're going to wrestle. Hello, fellow competitors. (green wrestler growls at them, sending them into the ring floor)
Patrick: What was that?
SpongeBob: (reading a 'Wrestling for Beginners Book') Hmm, that's Wrestlese for "You're dead meat."
Patrick: I don't get it. (green wrestler picks up both of them and throws them across the ring)
SpongeBob: Hey, look, Patrick. It's Mr. Krabs cheering us on. (they fly into the other wrestler's belly. SpongeBob falls into a bucket)
SpongeBob: Whoa. (Patrick falls into the bucket on top of SpongeBob)
Patrick: Oh, hey, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Look, Patrick, it's a fist.
Patrick: A fist? Where? Oh, yeah, that's definitely a... (both wrestlers are punching them until they turn into liquid. One of the wrestlers gargles them and spits them into a drain. Mr. Krabs uses a plunger to get them out)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Yeah!
SpongeBob: How fun was that?
Patrick: It was so super duper fun.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Boom!
Mr. Krabs: Ahem.
SpongeBob: Did you need something, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Oh, did I need something? Hmm, let me think. Did I need something? Yes, I need something! I need you two to get back in there and show 'em who's boss! Show 'em what Short Order Boy and Pink Patty can really do.
SpongeBob: Right! Come on, Patrick. Let's show these two what they're messing with.
Patrick: With pleasure.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Let's do this!
Mr. Krabs: That's the million dollar winning spirit!
SpongeBob: Alright you two, no more messing around. You see this. (pulls out his spatula) Just a spatula, right? Wrong! Actually, this represents your face after I get through mangling it. (bends the spatula a little bit) There, you see that? It's not gonna be pretty when I get done with you.
Patrick: Hey, good one, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: Thanks, Patrick. N-Now you try saying something intimidating, as well.
Patrick: Okay. And if you think this is bad, wait till I get my hands on you. I'm gonna, uh... I'm gonna, uh... (pulls out a piece of paper) ...tear you to shreds. Like a... (tries ripping the paper) Oh. Oh, come on. (whimpers) I got a paper cut! Paper cut! (starts sucking his hands)
SpongeBob: Patrick, are you okay?
Patrick: Oh? Oh, I'm fine. I just like to suck on my hand.
SpongeBob: Really? Me, too. (as they both suck on their hands, the green wrestler takes Patrick and squishes him into a ball. He takes one of the ropes)
Mr. Krabs: (screams then chuckles nervously)Now what? (green wrestler uses Spongebob as a paddle and Patrick as the ball. SpongeBob laughs)
SpongeBob: That tickles. (purple wrestler takes Patrick, as a ball)
Patrick: Good catch. (both wrestlers twist up their opponents and let them go)
SpongeBob: Look, I'm a...
Patrick: Helicopter! (they collide into each other, shredding into pieces in a wheelbarrow. The champs toss them into a cement mixer and pour them right back out. The green wrestler pours Patrick into a small square and SpongeBob into another small square. Then the green wrestler puts a handprint in SpongeBob's square and writes 'Jim was here' while the purple wrestler puts a footprint in Patrick's square and writes 'my foot was here.' Both SpongeBob & Patrick giggle. Mr. Krabs digs up the squares)
Mr. Krabs: What are you doing out there?
SpongeBob: Fake wrestling.
Mr. Krabs: Okay. But you still have to try to win in fake wrestling.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, we're having so much fun. Doesn't that make us winners?
Mr. Krabs: Actually, it doesn't! Okay, okay, look, just... (SpongeBob and Patrick are gone) Hey, where'd they... (gasps) Oh, no! Not the... (crowd gasps)
Perch Perkins: Wow! Now that's a serious sleeper hold. (the green wrestler has SpongeBob in his arms, with lullaby music playing. He gives him a pink stuffed animal)
SpongeBob: Oh, hello, Mr. Fluffy. (Patrick is given a bottle to go to sleep)
Crowd: Aw!
Perch Perkins: And it looks like the champs are ready to end it.
Mr. Krabs: End it?!
Crowd: (chanting) End it! End it!
Mr. Krabs: Get up! Get up, you guys! (the champs dig a large hole in sand and catapult themselves into the sky)
Perch Perkins: Yep, they're gonna leave more than a mark with this special move, the mother of all moves, the flying doubledecker atomic headbutt of destruction with a spin.
Mr. Krabs: (screams) Come on! Come on! Wake up! (Patrick is dreaming of his bun workout)
Patrick: And squeeze!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, who am I kidding? Good-bye, money. (walks away)
Patrick: Squeeze!
Mr. Krabs: Good-bye, money. (sobs)
Patrick: Oh, squeeze! (Patrick's iron butt squeezes through his costume)
Champs: (gasp) Oh!
Champ #1: Not Iron Buns.
(they land on Patrick's iron butt and fall into pieces. The janitor sweeps them away. Bell rings. Crowd cheers)
Referee: Ladies and gentlemen, here are your new champions.
Mr. Krabs: Good-bye, money... New champions?
Perch Perkins: That's right, Skip. And the winners of one million dollars.
Mr. Krabs: (his eyes and mouth turn into money) Hello, money! (hugs the money) Woohoo! Money, sweet money.
Perch Perkins: Or...
Mr. Krabs: Or?
Perch Perkins: You can take what's behind curtain number two.
Mr. Krabs: Curtain number two?
Perch: Make all your dreams come true with one week at Wrestle Camp.
Mr. Krabs: Like we're really gonna turn all this money for...
SpongeBob & Patrick: Wrestle Camp! Wrestle Camp! Wrestle Camp! Wrestle Camp!
Perch Perkins: Wrestle Camp it is. (the janitor vacuums all the money up and walks away. Mr. Krabs falls into pieces)
SpongeBob: See you at Wrestle Camp, Mr. Krabs. (drops a Wrestle Camp hat on Mr. Krabs)
End