SB & Pat's Camping 101

I thought it would be cool to continue my little "______ 101" topics. The only one I've done so far, besides this one, is SpongeBob's Dating 101.



Camping is a very relaxing time for most people. There is that one special person who is happy that you're going on a camping trip! More than likely, they are already making fun of you for going.


There will always be some of you who just don't like it. That's ok. SpongeBob, Patrick, & Squidward have got you covered! They know how to have fun and protect themselves from danger out in the wilderness…even if it's your own backyard.


1. Bring the necessities. This can include tent, backpack, sleeping bag, toiletries, etc.


2. Tent making. The old-fashioned way is the best and truest way to experience real camping.

Here is the wrong way to assemble your tent. Remote-controlled tents will never work.

However, your friends might write down some great tips on their notepad so they know what NOT to do next time.

What not to do with your tent:
- Customization
http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=ldH8lWOJ5bSK7ZPFZLmeq1qXSma8QGjIJgVs3Qa8pao=
- Tenderizing the ground
http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=oSNjNb5Bd8lXy/g62BiEFl6qKHfE/2qO/A4UCC7yOPQ=
- Get tangled up in it
http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=E2Zj/n57fD3UGN61Rqp26PYxYfpmFUJemtBLc074KLw=

If you get angry just enough, go ahead and kick the tent. It might just magically transform into one.
http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=vP2DXcIy1YNg6axoyWLzPKv8W6Ab+3DzOacxRafRObo=

Or not…
http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=2R1T56trq5Ccx6MYftPEGArf5B+oO9cG/K0DaP8Lb0g=



3. While in your tent, if you're not going to sleep right away, it's nice to bring along some reading material so you're not so bored.

If you have that special person who doesn't like you camping in the backyard, and would rather see you far away in an actual forest to camp, then you should just tell them to have fun inside. Chances are that they will join you if you say it enough times.

*SIDE NOTE* If your friend is staring creepily away at someone, just stay calm.


4. It's time to enjoy some marshmallows. Hopefully you are already have the campfire going.

Be careful that you don't get marshmallows blown into your face.
http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=GgYIgGxCKoY7Vq0J9BX9qrUlNjRjayNbomqMPoGx/Mc= http://www.sbmania.net/pictures.php?img=GnERJ9vQSQoHLgCdRsDyO57multHKIV30bRj0B8RTiY=

If you don't like marshmallows, go ahead and break out the can of Swedish Barnacle Balls that you brought. Good luck getting it opened if you didn't bring a can opener.


5. Let's sing some songs around the fire! What better song to start singing than "The Campfire Song Song."

Make sure you participate or your friend might help you out.

Here is an important lesson in Camping 101: do not play any instrument really badly, especially a clarinet.


6. Protect yourself from a Sea-Bear.
With the instrument playing lesson in your mind, all subscribers to "Bikini Bottom Enquirer" will know what to do to protect themselves from an attack from a Sea-Bear.

A Sea-Bear is attracted to the following things:
- Playing the clarinet badly
- Waving your flashlight back and forth really fast
- Stomping around
- Eating cubed cheese
- Wearing a sombrero in a goofy fashion, clown shoes, or hoop skirt
- Screeching like a chimpanzee

One of your friends might just take a risk and try to do each of those things.

But remember…the sombrero must be worn in a goofy fashion. Wearing it normal will just not do. And neither will this:

It must be worn like this:

Want to stop the Sea-Bear from attacking you? Draw an anti-sea-bear circle in the dirt and watch your friend get pulverized by the Sea-Bear.

Silly friend. That's what they get for taunting the Sea-Bear. Running, crawling, and limping are things that absolutely infuriates the Sea-Bear. Then again…maybe it just doesn't like you.

Had enough mauling of a Sea-Bear? Tell your friends to move over and make room in their circle!


Whew, the Sea-Bear cannot hurt you anymore! Hold on a second…there's something else coming your way!


7. Protect yourself from a Sea-Rhinoceros
While the Sea-Bear might have gone back into the wilderness, there's another animal you should worry about…the Sea-Rhinoceros. The sound of a Sea-Bear attack attracts the Sea-Rhinoceros.

What can you do to protect yourself in this situation? You have your anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments on, right?

An additional advice:

When you run out off food, your best friend is a good source of nutrition.

lel 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times.

I really want somebody to make anti-sea-rhinoceros undergarments.

This. Is. The. Best. Camping. Guide. Ever.

OMG Awesome!

Well that was fun to read :P

Can I do one? :P