It's that time of the month again, and today, we're back with 3 more all-new SpongeBob shorts! While we don't have any guest writers this time around, we do have a long-awaited surprise! After 33 shorts without her, Pearl Krabs will finally make her SB Shorts debut! And as you'll quickly find out, Pearl isn't very happy about it... Also, if you want to check out all of my shorts, click this link HERE to view the ultimate collection!
In these shorts, you'll find goo skating gone wrong, Mr. Krabs going insane over a penny (again), and a look into the enigmatic mind of Patrick Star. And of course, there'll be a good amount of meta humor as well.
Now, I'll stop talking and let you enjoy today's lineup of shorts!
34. Bikini Bottom Icebreakers
with SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Pearl
Announcer: Good morning, Bikini Bottomites! On this chilly morning, we're reporting live from Goo Lagoon! The goo has completely frozen over, which means that it's the perfect time for some goo skating! Today, we welcome you to the first ever performance of our city's very own skating team, the Bikini Bottom Icebreakers!
[The camera goes to the frozen Goo Lagoon, where SpongeBob is standing in goo skates]
Announcer: And here's our first performer, SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob: Hello everyone, it's so exciting how the writer of this short finally allowed me to do something special for once! I can finally take a break from being in those stupid Krusty Krab shorts all the time!
[SpongeBob skates around and gains some speed]
SpongeBob: Anyway, here's my favorite goo skating trick– I call this the Jellyfish Twirl!
[SpongeBob jumps into the air and spins around with his legs out like a jellyfish, and then lands back down nicely]
[The crowd cheers for SpongeBob as he skates away]
Announcer: And what a move by the sponge to get us started! Now let's look at our next performer, Patrick Star!
[Patrick Star skates into the view of the camera]
Patrick: Hey everyone! I haven't been goo skating a lot recently, but I still remember my favorite trick! I call this amazing move the Figure One!
[Patrick skates straight in front of the camera, then comes to a stop, leaving a straight line in the frozen goo]
Patrick: There we go, a beautiful Figure One! Aren't you thoroughly amazed?
Announcer: That's it? That's the trick? Well I'm not amazed!
Patrick: Hey! Announcer guy, you know that I can hear you? I spent six years trying to learn the Figure One, and I just pulled it off! It takes tremendous skill and effort to skate in a perfectly straight line, you know?
Announcer: Yeah, I'd say it takes about as much skill as me brushing my teeth. Now please leave!
Patrick: Fine! But just so you know, this starfish has more talent than you think!
[Patrick skates away from the camera, but slips and falls offscreen with a loud CRASH]
Patrick (offscreen): OWWWWWW!!
Announcer (in a snarky voice): Anyways, let's give a huge welcome to Squidward and his massive ego!
[Squidward skates into view of the camera]
Squidward: Good morning, Bikini Bottomites! Hopefully all of you weren't bored to death from Patrick's so-called "trick." Being a longtime goo skating connoisseur and eleven-time Pacific Ocean Goo Skating Championship gold medalist winner, I am here to demonstrate to all of you a trick that only the finest of the fine, the bestest of the best can perform. I now introduce– the Four-Legged Reverse Twirling Upside Down Double Backflip!!
[Squidward skates around and gains some speed]
Announcer: I told you that Squidward's ego is unbearable.
[Squidward leaps up into the air gracefully, flips upside down, spins his tentacles around, backflips once, spins sideways, then backflips a second time before landing back down]
Squidward: Now how was that? You have just witnessed the work of a true goo skating master!
Announcer: I'll be honest– I'm actually impressed! Great job, Squidward Tortellini!
Squidward: IT'S TENTACLES!!
Announcer: Oh, sorry.
[Squidward skates away mumbling about how people always say his last name wrong]
Announcer: Anyway, please welcome our fourth and final skater for today– Pearl Krabs!!
[Pearl skates into the view of the camera, though she looks disappointed]
Pearl: Thank you! Would you look at that– after 33 stupid SpongeBob shorts, the writers FINALLY put me in a short! It's like these writers just forgot about me all this time! Yeah, I may not be as memorable or lovable as some other characters, but come on– I HAVE A LIFE TOO!! I'm the captain of the cheer team, I have straight A's in all my classes, and most importantly, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! And now that I'm finally in the spotlight, it's time to show all of you what I can do!
Announcer: Wow, you need to calm down. I guess your temper is as big as your head.
[Pearl skates around and gains some speed]
Pearl: Now, you silly announcer, just watch! It's time for me to land the Quintuple Spin!
Announcer: The Quintuple Spin? Meaning you're going to jump? Pearl, I don't think that's a very good idea…
Pearl: You see that? Everyone is trying to suppress my talent! But don't worry– nobody tells me what to do!
[Pearl skates across the goo, leaps up into the air and starts spinning]
Announcer: Uh-oh. This might not end well…
[Pearl spins four more times in midair and starts falling down, when finally, she lands back onto the frozen goo with a loud…]
BOOM
[... as the force of Pearl's large body smashes through the frozen goo, creating a large cloud of mist]
[The mist clears, revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Pearl, and many more Bikini Bottomites all stuck in blocks of frozen goo as the surface has broken]
Announcer: Whew… Well, I think all of us saw that coming. Which means that we'll have to cancel the rest of the performance for today until the goo freezes back. But after all, this is the Bikini Bottom… Icebreakers!
[The camera irises out in into Pearl's face, encased in frozen goo]
THE END
--
35. Krabs in the Attic
with Mr. Krabs and Pearl
[It is a quiet night at Mr. Krabs's anchor house, and he is seen digging through many boxes and crates in his attic]
Mr. Krabs (digging): Grr… it must be in here somewhere… where is it… where could it be?
[Pearl opens the attic trapdoor, climbs into the attic, and sees Mr. Krabs]
Pearl: Mr. Krabs! What's with all the noise up here? I'm trying to sleep!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey Pearl! Sorry to disturb your sleep, but I'm looking for something important. Something really, really important. And I'm going to find it!
Pearl: Oh brother, what could it possibly be?
Mr. Krabs: Well, I faintly remember that a few months ago, I accidentally dropped a penny somewhere in this attic.
[Pearl rolls her eyes]
Mr. Krabs: And tonight, I won't be sleeping until I find it! I've been here for three hours now, and I dug through around a hundred boxes, but I still haven't seen that penny!
Pearl: COME ON, DAD! You're doing all this searching just for a stupid penny? It's literally just one cent! You're just wasting your time.
Mr. Krabs: "Just one cent?" Phooey! Just think about all the amazing things you can buy with a penny! You can buy, uh, uhh… wait… what could you buy with just a penny?
Pearl: That's it! I've had enough. I'm going back to bed.
[Pearl walks back to the attic trapdoor, but falls down the hatch and crashes onto the lower floor with a loud THUD]
[Mr. Krabs goes back to digging through some boxes]
Mr. Krabs (sighing): Ugh, me daughter never encourages me. But why do I have so many boxes up here anyway?
[Mr. Krabs opens another box and finds a pair of squeaky boots, a tiny plastic treasure chest, a rotten Pretty Patty, a dusty soda drinking hat (that probably belonged to someone who was #1), and the head of a whale costume]
Mr. Krabs: Nope! Nothing of value here! But I must stay determined.
[Mr. Krabs goes to open another box, when all of a sudden…
CLICK
[The attic light buzzes and goes out, and everything goes dark]
Mr. Krabs (muttering): Barnacles! Slimy barnacles! This is the last thing I needed!
[Mr. Krabs gropes around in the dark but couldn't see anything]
Mr. Krabs: Good thing I always carry a flashlight in me pocket.
[Mr. Krabs pulls out a small flashlight from his pants pocket, and turns it on]
Mr. Krabs: There we go. Much better.
[Mr. Krabs starts to open another box, when again, all of a sudden…
CLICK
[The flashlight buzzes and goes out, and everything goes dark again]
Mr. Krabs (muttering): Barnacles! Slimy barnacles! Extra slimy barnacles! Now what?
[Mr. Krabs tosses the flashlight away in the dark]
Mr. Krabs: I guess this poor crab isn't going to get any sleep tonight… grr…
[Mr. Krabs is about to give up and walk back to the attic trapdoor when he suddenly feels something on the floor]
Mr. Krabs: Huh? What could this be?
[Mr. Krabs picks up the thing on the floor in the dark, and feels it]
Mr. Krabs: Hmm… this feels like a penny… it has the right texture… right shape… this could be it!
[Mr. Krabs blindly makes his way towards the attic trapdoor, with the object tightly in his big meaty claw]
[He cannot see and falls down the hatch and crashes onto the lower floor with a loud THUD]
Mr. Krabs (back in the light): Now, little penny, I promise to never lose you again!
[Mr. Krabs suddenly feels the thing in his claw trying to squirm around]
Mr. Krabs: Huh? Now what could this be? Pennies don't move!
[Mr. Krabs opens up his claw… and sees that he did not pick up a penny…
… but rather, a sea cockroach.]
Mr. Krabs (dropping the cockroach): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
[Mr. Krabs's house shakes as he screams]
Pearl (opening up the door to her room): Now what, dad? YOU JUST WOKE ME UP! And right when I was dreaming about kissing my boyfriend!
[Mr. Krabs points to the sea cockroach on the floor]
Mr. Krabs (in fear): Sea cockroach! There!
[Pearl rolls her eyes again, goes up to the cockroach, and stomps on it]
Pearl: There you go. And did you ever end up finding that penny of yours?
[Mr. Krabs sadly shakes his head and sighs]
Pearl: I told you that you wouldn't find it, you crustacean brain.
THE END
--
36. The Inner Machinations
with Patrick Star (and his Mini Brain Patricks)
[It's yet another normal day at the Krusty Krab, and Patrick is seen walking into the Krusty Krab and going up to the register boat]
Squidward (sighing): May I take your order?
Patrick: I'll have a… uhhh… uhhh…
[Suddenly, we go into Patrick's brain, where we see many Mini Brain Patricks running around holding file folders]
[Mini Brain Patrick #329 is sitting at a desk]
Mini Brain Patrick #329 (holding a megaphone): Attention, Mini Brain Patricks 1 to 400! Pink Starfish at Krusty Krab! Pink Starfish preparing to order!
[The other Mini Brain Patricks continue running around with file folders, and two of them bonk into each other and fall over, causing papers to fly everywhere]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: EVERYONE! Listen!
[A group of Mini Brain Patricks turn and face Mini Brain Patrick #329]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: Who has the memory file for Pink Starfish's Krusty Krab order? We're running out of time!
[The Mini Brain Patricks look at each other in confusion]
Mini Brain Patrick #81: I dunno.
Mini Brain Patrick #242: Yeah, me neither.
[Mini Brain Patrick #329 shakes his head and stands up, and more Mini Brain Patricks turn to look at him]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: We don't have all day! The Pink Starfish needs to order food right now, and if we can't find the memory file for his Krusty Krab order lying around here somewhere, the Pink Starfish is going to go hungry!
Mini Brain Patrick #54: So? Pink Starfish is fat enough already! I think we should all take today off.
Mini Brain Patrick #329: You don't understand! If Pink Starfish goes hungry, his brain will stop working! And if his brain stops working, we will all cease to exist and DIE!!
[All the Mini Brain Patricks gasp]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: I'm not kidding! (pointing to Mini Brain Patrick #32) YOU will die! (pointing to Mini Brain Patrick #175) YOU will also die! So before we all disappear, find the Krusty Krab order STAT!!
[All the Mini Brain Patricks look at each other, and suddenly start panicking and running around]
Mini Brain Patrick #47 (running around): AAAAAAH!! AAAAAAH!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!! GONNA DIE!! AAAAAAH!!
[The Mini Brain Patricks start running around wildly, knocking over file cabinets and causing memory file papers to fly around everywhere]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: Everyone! Stop panicking! Just find his Krusty Krab order! STOP PANI–
[Mini Brain Patrick #26 suddenly comes running up to the desk holding a file folder in his hand]
Mini Brain Patrick #26: I found it! The file for the Pink Starfish's Krusty Krab order! Here, I'll put it in for you!
[Mini Brain Patrick #26 takes out a paper, puts it inside a gray machine, and presses the red button]
[Mini Brain Patrick #329 stands back up and sees that Mini Brain Patrick #26's file folder says "STUPID STORIES" on it]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: No, ya doofus! That's not the file for the Krusty Krab order! That's the file for STUPID STORIES! Now the Pink Starfish is gonna say something stupid, like…
[We go back to the Krusty Krab, where Patrick is standing and staring blankly in front of the register boat]
Squidward: So, Patrick, are you *yawn* finally ready to order? It's been five minutes!
[Patrick suddenly stands straight up and his face livens up]
Patrick: Yeah, I know what I want! I want an ugly barnacle! A very ugly barnacle! So ugly that anyone that sees it will die!
Squidward: We serve food here, sir. Try again!
[We go back into Patrick's mind, where everything is on fire and the Mini Brain Patricks are still running around uncontrollably]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: Come on! Faster, guys!
[Mini Brain Patrick #12 runs up to Mini Brain Patrick #329, holding a big stack of memory file papers]
Mini Brain Patrick #12: I got these from the "Random References" cabinet! Surely one of these papers must contain the Krusty Krab order!
Mini Brain Patrick #329: "Random References?" What even are those? Whatever– we don't have any time left. Just put them in the machine!!
[Mini Brain Patrick slams down the stack of memory file papers and starts putting them in the gray machine and pressing the button repeatedly]
[We go back into the real world, where we see Patrick still standing and staring blankly in front of the register boat, with a long line of customers now behind him]
Customer (behind Patrick): Come on, starfish! Just hurry up and order already!
[Patrick's eyes suddenly glow bright and he raises his hand up]
Patrick: I know it! I finally know what I am going to order! I'm going to have a– I'll have– I'm gonna get– uhh… G7! Finland! Mayonnaise! I love you! Toulouse-Lautrec! It's a giraffe! White sedan! 24! Weast! Leedle leedle leedle lee! Spilling milk! Wumbo!
[Patrick continues blurting out many more random references to past SpongeBob episodes]
Patrick: Pinhead! Ruggie! Smeckledorfed! Hi SpongeBoob! Imagination! Where's the leak, ma'am?! Secret string! We're not cavemen! Es-ca-lators! Oh boy, 3AM! Plants for hire! Marty? Janet? Mmm cheesy! Heart man! Freeform jazz! K-k-k-k-k…
[Patrick starts sweating as he tries to say something…]
Patrick: K-k-k-k-k… k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k…
[All the customers and Squidward look at Patrick, who is now grunting and panting profusely]
Patrick: K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k… k-k-k-k-k… KRABBY PATTY!!
[Patrick jumps up into the air in excitement and lands back down]
Patrick: Yes sir! I'll have one Krabby Patty, Squidward! One delicious Krabby Patty!!
[We go back into Patrick's brain, and sees all the Mini Brain Patricks sighing in relief]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: Well, that was a close one, guys! From now on, NEVER lose Pink Starfish's Krusty Krab order ever again! Now get back to work!
[All the Mini Brain Patricks go back to their other work stations and continue sorting memory file papers]
[We go back into the real world, where Patrick is standing at the register boat looking happy]
Squidward: Alright, Patrick, one Krabby Patty. Would you like fries with that?
Patrick: Fries? What are fries? Uhhh… uhhhhhh…
[We go back into Patrick's brain, where the Mini Brain Patricks are once again frantically running around]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: FRIES!! Who here has the file for Pink Starfish's preference on fries? Oh brother… PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU LOST IT!!
[We go back into the real world one last time, and we see Patrick still standing in front of the register thinking about whether or not to get fries. It doesn't look like this will end anytime soon…]
THE END…?
--
And that's all for today. I hope you enjoyed these 3 SpongeBob shorts! Stay tuned for Part 13, coming out May 1st, 2024! And as a preview, the shorts for next time will be titled "All's Chair in Love and War", "Bogan Meets Pearl", and "The Glove Carnival", unless I change my mind (which I probably will). But thank you for reading, and have a good day!
In these shorts, you'll find goo skating gone wrong, Mr. Krabs going insane over a penny (again), and a look into the enigmatic mind of Patrick Star. And of course, there'll be a good amount of meta humor as well.
Now, I'll stop talking and let you enjoy today's lineup of shorts!
34. Bikini Bottom Icebreakers
with SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Pearl
Announcer: Good morning, Bikini Bottomites! On this chilly morning, we're reporting live from Goo Lagoon! The goo has completely frozen over, which means that it's the perfect time for some goo skating! Today, we welcome you to the first ever performance of our city's very own skating team, the Bikini Bottom Icebreakers!
[The camera goes to the frozen Goo Lagoon, where SpongeBob is standing in goo skates]
Announcer: And here's our first performer, SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob: Hello everyone, it's so exciting how the writer of this short finally allowed me to do something special for once! I can finally take a break from being in those stupid Krusty Krab shorts all the time!
[SpongeBob skates around and gains some speed]
SpongeBob: Anyway, here's my favorite goo skating trick– I call this the Jellyfish Twirl!
[SpongeBob jumps into the air and spins around with his legs out like a jellyfish, and then lands back down nicely]
[The crowd cheers for SpongeBob as he skates away]
Announcer: And what a move by the sponge to get us started! Now let's look at our next performer, Patrick Star!
[Patrick Star skates into the view of the camera]
Patrick: Hey everyone! I haven't been goo skating a lot recently, but I still remember my favorite trick! I call this amazing move the Figure One!
[Patrick skates straight in front of the camera, then comes to a stop, leaving a straight line in the frozen goo]
Patrick: There we go, a beautiful Figure One! Aren't you thoroughly amazed?
Announcer: That's it? That's the trick? Well I'm not amazed!
Patrick: Hey! Announcer guy, you know that I can hear you? I spent six years trying to learn the Figure One, and I just pulled it off! It takes tremendous skill and effort to skate in a perfectly straight line, you know?
Announcer: Yeah, I'd say it takes about as much skill as me brushing my teeth. Now please leave!
Patrick: Fine! But just so you know, this starfish has more talent than you think!
[Patrick skates away from the camera, but slips and falls offscreen with a loud CRASH]
Patrick (offscreen): OWWWWWW!!
Announcer (in a snarky voice): Anyways, let's give a huge welcome to Squidward and his massive ego!
[Squidward skates into view of the camera]
Squidward: Good morning, Bikini Bottomites! Hopefully all of you weren't bored to death from Patrick's so-called "trick." Being a longtime goo skating connoisseur and eleven-time Pacific Ocean Goo Skating Championship gold medalist winner, I am here to demonstrate to all of you a trick that only the finest of the fine, the bestest of the best can perform. I now introduce– the Four-Legged Reverse Twirling Upside Down Double Backflip!!
[Squidward skates around and gains some speed]
Announcer: I told you that Squidward's ego is unbearable.
[Squidward leaps up into the air gracefully, flips upside down, spins his tentacles around, backflips once, spins sideways, then backflips a second time before landing back down]
Squidward: Now how was that? You have just witnessed the work of a true goo skating master!
Announcer: I'll be honest– I'm actually impressed! Great job, Squidward Tortellini!
Squidward: IT'S TENTACLES!!
Announcer: Oh, sorry.
[Squidward skates away mumbling about how people always say his last name wrong]
Announcer: Anyway, please welcome our fourth and final skater for today– Pearl Krabs!!
[Pearl skates into the view of the camera, though she looks disappointed]
Pearl: Thank you! Would you look at that– after 33 stupid SpongeBob shorts, the writers FINALLY put me in a short! It's like these writers just forgot about me all this time! Yeah, I may not be as memorable or lovable as some other characters, but come on– I HAVE A LIFE TOO!! I'm the captain of the cheer team, I have straight A's in all my classes, and most importantly, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! And now that I'm finally in the spotlight, it's time to show all of you what I can do!
Announcer: Wow, you need to calm down. I guess your temper is as big as your head.
[Pearl skates around and gains some speed]
Pearl: Now, you silly announcer, just watch! It's time for me to land the Quintuple Spin!
Announcer: The Quintuple Spin? Meaning you're going to jump? Pearl, I don't think that's a very good idea…
Pearl: You see that? Everyone is trying to suppress my talent! But don't worry– nobody tells me what to do!
[Pearl skates across the goo, leaps up into the air and starts spinning]
Announcer: Uh-oh. This might not end well…
[Pearl spins four more times in midair and starts falling down, when finally, she lands back onto the frozen goo with a loud…]
BOOM
[... as the force of Pearl's large body smashes through the frozen goo, creating a large cloud of mist]
[The mist clears, revealing SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Pearl, and many more Bikini Bottomites all stuck in blocks of frozen goo as the surface has broken]
Announcer: Whew… Well, I think all of us saw that coming. Which means that we'll have to cancel the rest of the performance for today until the goo freezes back. But after all, this is the Bikini Bottom… Icebreakers!
[The camera irises out in into Pearl's face, encased in frozen goo]
THE END
--
35. Krabs in the Attic
with Mr. Krabs and Pearl
[It is a quiet night at Mr. Krabs's anchor house, and he is seen digging through many boxes and crates in his attic]
Mr. Krabs (digging): Grr… it must be in here somewhere… where is it… where could it be?
[Pearl opens the attic trapdoor, climbs into the attic, and sees Mr. Krabs]
Pearl: Mr. Krabs! What's with all the noise up here? I'm trying to sleep!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey Pearl! Sorry to disturb your sleep, but I'm looking for something important. Something really, really important. And I'm going to find it!
Pearl: Oh brother, what could it possibly be?
Mr. Krabs: Well, I faintly remember that a few months ago, I accidentally dropped a penny somewhere in this attic.
[Pearl rolls her eyes]
Mr. Krabs: And tonight, I won't be sleeping until I find it! I've been here for three hours now, and I dug through around a hundred boxes, but I still haven't seen that penny!
Pearl: COME ON, DAD! You're doing all this searching just for a stupid penny? It's literally just one cent! You're just wasting your time.
Mr. Krabs: "Just one cent?" Phooey! Just think about all the amazing things you can buy with a penny! You can buy, uh, uhh… wait… what could you buy with just a penny?
Pearl: That's it! I've had enough. I'm going back to bed.
[Pearl walks back to the attic trapdoor, but falls down the hatch and crashes onto the lower floor with a loud THUD]
[Mr. Krabs goes back to digging through some boxes]
Mr. Krabs (sighing): Ugh, me daughter never encourages me. But why do I have so many boxes up here anyway?
[Mr. Krabs opens another box and finds a pair of squeaky boots, a tiny plastic treasure chest, a rotten Pretty Patty, a dusty soda drinking hat (that probably belonged to someone who was #1), and the head of a whale costume]
Mr. Krabs: Nope! Nothing of value here! But I must stay determined.
[Mr. Krabs goes to open another box, when all of a sudden…
CLICK
[The attic light buzzes and goes out, and everything goes dark]
Mr. Krabs (muttering): Barnacles! Slimy barnacles! This is the last thing I needed!
[Mr. Krabs gropes around in the dark but couldn't see anything]
Mr. Krabs: Good thing I always carry a flashlight in me pocket.
[Mr. Krabs pulls out a small flashlight from his pants pocket, and turns it on]
Mr. Krabs: There we go. Much better.
[Mr. Krabs starts to open another box, when again, all of a sudden…
CLICK
[The flashlight buzzes and goes out, and everything goes dark again]
Mr. Krabs (muttering): Barnacles! Slimy barnacles! Extra slimy barnacles! Now what?
[Mr. Krabs tosses the flashlight away in the dark]
Mr. Krabs: I guess this poor crab isn't going to get any sleep tonight… grr…
[Mr. Krabs is about to give up and walk back to the attic trapdoor when he suddenly feels something on the floor]
Mr. Krabs: Huh? What could this be?
[Mr. Krabs picks up the thing on the floor in the dark, and feels it]
Mr. Krabs: Hmm… this feels like a penny… it has the right texture… right shape… this could be it!
[Mr. Krabs blindly makes his way towards the attic trapdoor, with the object tightly in his big meaty claw]
[He cannot see and falls down the hatch and crashes onto the lower floor with a loud THUD]
Mr. Krabs (back in the light): Now, little penny, I promise to never lose you again!
[Mr. Krabs suddenly feels the thing in his claw trying to squirm around]
Mr. Krabs: Huh? Now what could this be? Pennies don't move!
[Mr. Krabs opens up his claw… and sees that he did not pick up a penny…
… but rather, a sea cockroach.]
Mr. Krabs (dropping the cockroach): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
[Mr. Krabs's house shakes as he screams]
Pearl (opening up the door to her room): Now what, dad? YOU JUST WOKE ME UP! And right when I was dreaming about kissing my boyfriend!
[Mr. Krabs points to the sea cockroach on the floor]
Mr. Krabs (in fear): Sea cockroach! There!
[Pearl rolls her eyes again, goes up to the cockroach, and stomps on it]
Pearl: There you go. And did you ever end up finding that penny of yours?
[Mr. Krabs sadly shakes his head and sighs]
Pearl: I told you that you wouldn't find it, you crustacean brain.
THE END
--
36. The Inner Machinations
with Patrick Star (and his Mini Brain Patricks)
[It's yet another normal day at the Krusty Krab, and Patrick is seen walking into the Krusty Krab and going up to the register boat]
Squidward (sighing): May I take your order?
Patrick: I'll have a… uhhh… uhhh…
[Suddenly, we go into Patrick's brain, where we see many Mini Brain Patricks running around holding file folders]
[Mini Brain Patrick #329 is sitting at a desk]
Mini Brain Patrick #329 (holding a megaphone): Attention, Mini Brain Patricks 1 to 400! Pink Starfish at Krusty Krab! Pink Starfish preparing to order!
[The other Mini Brain Patricks continue running around with file folders, and two of them bonk into each other and fall over, causing papers to fly everywhere]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: EVERYONE! Listen!
[A group of Mini Brain Patricks turn and face Mini Brain Patrick #329]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: Who has the memory file for Pink Starfish's Krusty Krab order? We're running out of time!
[The Mini Brain Patricks look at each other in confusion]
Mini Brain Patrick #81: I dunno.
Mini Brain Patrick #242: Yeah, me neither.
[Mini Brain Patrick #329 shakes his head and stands up, and more Mini Brain Patricks turn to look at him]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: We don't have all day! The Pink Starfish needs to order food right now, and if we can't find the memory file for his Krusty Krab order lying around here somewhere, the Pink Starfish is going to go hungry!
Mini Brain Patrick #54: So? Pink Starfish is fat enough already! I think we should all take today off.
Mini Brain Patrick #329: You don't understand! If Pink Starfish goes hungry, his brain will stop working! And if his brain stops working, we will all cease to exist and DIE!!
[All the Mini Brain Patricks gasp]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: I'm not kidding! (pointing to Mini Brain Patrick #32) YOU will die! (pointing to Mini Brain Patrick #175) YOU will also die! So before we all disappear, find the Krusty Krab order STAT!!
[All the Mini Brain Patricks look at each other, and suddenly start panicking and running around]
Mini Brain Patrick #47 (running around): AAAAAAH!! AAAAAAH!! WE'RE GONNA DIE!! GONNA DIE!! AAAAAAH!!
[The Mini Brain Patricks start running around wildly, knocking over file cabinets and causing memory file papers to fly around everywhere]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: Everyone! Stop panicking! Just find his Krusty Krab order! STOP PANI–
[Mini Brain Patrick #26 suddenly comes running up to the desk holding a file folder in his hand]
Mini Brain Patrick #26: I found it! The file for the Pink Starfish's Krusty Krab order! Here, I'll put it in for you!
[Mini Brain Patrick #26 takes out a paper, puts it inside a gray machine, and presses the red button]
[Mini Brain Patrick #329 stands back up and sees that Mini Brain Patrick #26's file folder says "STUPID STORIES" on it]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: No, ya doofus! That's not the file for the Krusty Krab order! That's the file for STUPID STORIES! Now the Pink Starfish is gonna say something stupid, like…
[We go back to the Krusty Krab, where Patrick is standing and staring blankly in front of the register boat]
Squidward: So, Patrick, are you *yawn* finally ready to order? It's been five minutes!
[Patrick suddenly stands straight up and his face livens up]
Patrick: Yeah, I know what I want! I want an ugly barnacle! A very ugly barnacle! So ugly that anyone that sees it will die!
Squidward: We serve food here, sir. Try again!
[We go back into Patrick's mind, where everything is on fire and the Mini Brain Patricks are still running around uncontrollably]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: Come on! Faster, guys!
[Mini Brain Patrick #12 runs up to Mini Brain Patrick #329, holding a big stack of memory file papers]
Mini Brain Patrick #12: I got these from the "Random References" cabinet! Surely one of these papers must contain the Krusty Krab order!
Mini Brain Patrick #329: "Random References?" What even are those? Whatever– we don't have any time left. Just put them in the machine!!
[Mini Brain Patrick slams down the stack of memory file papers and starts putting them in the gray machine and pressing the button repeatedly]
[We go back into the real world, where we see Patrick still standing and staring blankly in front of the register boat, with a long line of customers now behind him]
Customer (behind Patrick): Come on, starfish! Just hurry up and order already!
[Patrick's eyes suddenly glow bright and he raises his hand up]
Patrick: I know it! I finally know what I am going to order! I'm going to have a– I'll have– I'm gonna get– uhh… G7! Finland! Mayonnaise! I love you! Toulouse-Lautrec! It's a giraffe! White sedan! 24! Weast! Leedle leedle leedle lee! Spilling milk! Wumbo!
[Patrick continues blurting out many more random references to past SpongeBob episodes]
Patrick: Pinhead! Ruggie! Smeckledorfed! Hi SpongeBoob! Imagination! Where's the leak, ma'am?! Secret string! We're not cavemen! Es-ca-lators! Oh boy, 3AM! Plants for hire! Marty? Janet? Mmm cheesy! Heart man! Freeform jazz! K-k-k-k-k…
[Patrick starts sweating as he tries to say something…]
Patrick: K-k-k-k-k… k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k…
[All the customers and Squidward look at Patrick, who is now grunting and panting profusely]
Patrick: K-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k… k-k-k-k-k… KRABBY PATTY!!
[Patrick jumps up into the air in excitement and lands back down]
Patrick: Yes sir! I'll have one Krabby Patty, Squidward! One delicious Krabby Patty!!
[We go back into Patrick's brain, and sees all the Mini Brain Patricks sighing in relief]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: Well, that was a close one, guys! From now on, NEVER lose Pink Starfish's Krusty Krab order ever again! Now get back to work!
[All the Mini Brain Patricks go back to their other work stations and continue sorting memory file papers]
[We go back into the real world, where Patrick is standing at the register boat looking happy]
Squidward: Alright, Patrick, one Krabby Patty. Would you like fries with that?
Patrick: Fries? What are fries? Uhhh… uhhhhhh…
[We go back into Patrick's brain, where the Mini Brain Patricks are once again frantically running around]
Mini Brain Patrick #329: FRIES!! Who here has the file for Pink Starfish's preference on fries? Oh brother… PLEASE DON'T TELL ME YOU LOST IT!!
[We go back into the real world one last time, and we see Patrick still standing in front of the register thinking about whether or not to get fries. It doesn't look like this will end anytime soon…]
THE END…?
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And that's all for today. I hope you enjoyed these 3 SpongeBob shorts! Stay tuned for Part 13, coming out May 1st, 2024! And as a preview, the shorts for next time will be titled "All's Chair in Love and War", "Bogan Meets Pearl", and "The Glove Carnival", unless I change my mind (which I probably will). But thank you for reading, and have a good day!