Okay, I probably went a little too short when I first reviewed the episode. Time to give it it's own individual review...
So let’s get started. In The Great Snail Race, Spongebob finds out that Squidward has bought a purebred snail, Snellie, and has decided to enter her in the Bikini Bottom Snail Race. Squidward doesn’t think that Spongebob’s snail would ever have a chance of winning, so Spongebob decides to train Gary so he can win against two competitors; Squidward with Snellie, who is a purebred; and Patrick with Rocky, who is… a rock. Okay…
Anyway, get ready to meet the most unlikeable form of Spongebob since Party Pooper Pants; Spongebob Coacherpants. And let me tell you, Spongebob is unbelievably DETESTABLE in this episode, as he basically runs his snail to the ground by training him BRUTALLY, without giving him any breaks, rests or anything like that. I swear, the way Spongebob coaches Gary is just despicable! He’s pushing him too hard and training him to death, LITERALLY, as poor Gary looks like he’s about to collapse on the day of the Great Snail Race. But it only gets worse from there!
When the Snail Race starts, Snellie leaves the other two in the dust, racing ahead of “Rocky”, who is a rock, and Gary, who’s a snail who has been driven into the ground by his despicable coach.
SpongeBob: Alright Gary, listen up, the competition is going to be fierce. You're the undersnail. Everybody's already counting you out. Now get out there and win, so we can rub Squidward's big fat nose in it!
Wow. You basically have run your poor snail into the ground, working him to near-death without any breaks just so you can brag to Squidward if you win? You are absolutely HORRIBLE!
So, Spongebob notices that Gary’s being left in the dust and is barely moving (gee, I wonder why), and he actually SCOLDS him for not moving faster! Are you TRYING to kill your pet? Gary finally starts moving, but he’s obviously in a wretched state. Now here is what I think of as one of the worst scenes, not in the episode itself, but one of the worst scenes in the ENTIRE series overall! Gary gets to the point where he begins to literally explode. I’m not kidding! First one of his eyeballs inflates massively, then BLOWS UP! Then, the second eye inflates to the max before blowing up just like the first one! And as if that wasn’t enough to make you cringe, Gary LITERALLY blows up and starts skidding off into the field before finally
CRASHING AND BURNING INTO A WALL!! AND THE AUDIENCE CHEERS OVER THAT?!?! WHAT THE---
Okay okay, I’m sorry, but that has to be one of the most horrific scenes of this show. The point of this scene was to parody real life race-car crashes, as well as the people who go to stadiums, just TO SEE THOSE CRASHES. Let me tell you something. Race-car crashes are actually real, and the races become a lot less funny when the driver literally BLOWS UP AND DIES FOR GOD’S SAKES! Racing may not seem dangerous, but in reality, you’d be risking your life attempting to drive in a race. They are a lot more dangerous and tragic than you can imagine. The fact that they portray Gary blowing up and crashing so graphically and painfully for the sake of “comedy”, to parody those real-life car crashes is unbelievably disturbing and flat-out wrong. And the fact that the audience actually CHEERS upon seeing poor Gary crash and burn is straight up disgusting. For the people who think that the disrespectful “jokes” began AFTER the movie, I seriously think they should look at this scene and I dare them to tell me that this isn’t just as disturbing and horrific. The fact that they portray real life tragedies like this so light-heartedly, to me, is just as horrific as how they portray suicide “comically” in One Coarse Meal! Seriously, encompassed in this one scene is one of worst, most detestable scenes in the entire series, actually tied with One Coarse Meal right there.
Spongebob finally realizes the error of his ways, and tries to help Gary. Snellie notices this, so she turns around to race back towards Gary. So Gary and Snellie are boysnail and girlsnail? Awwww!
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Too bad the curse of no continuity keeps them from being boysnail and girlsnail…
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Well, thanks a lot for killing the GaryXSnellie couple, writers! Also, guess what? We have a winner of the race, and it’s neither Gary nor Snellie! So if they didn’t win, that must mean...
• Announcer: And the winner is Rocky! [Patrick cries, the crowd goes wild, Gary and Snellie crawl away]
• Squidward: I can't believe it. My purebred, which cost me $1700, lost to a rock. [Patrick walks over with the trophy he won]
• Patrick: Don't worry, Squidward, I know how much you wanted to win, so I had the trophy engraved to you.
• Squidward: Gosh, Patrick, thanks. [reads the engraving] 'The 1st Place Snail Racing Cup Presented to Squidward...Tortellini'?! Will I ever win?
Okay, I’ll admit, I found that one scene to be pretty amusing. Also, the episode ends with Sandy suddenly appearing and kicking Spongebob for a sexist comment he made earlier.
Okay, I’ll admit, there are two things that keep me from hating this episode entirely. One, Patrick is pure gold in this episode! Just about everything he says and does here is pure hilarity, from his snail made of bread line, to him misspelling Squidward’s last name at the end of the episode. Also, I was actually glad that this episode at least had a good ending to it. Had it not been for that, this episode would’ve been on my BOTTOM TEN!! Unfortunately, I can’t bring myself to like this episode, either. The way Spongebob treats Gary in this episode (until the end) is utterly detestable, and the scene during the actual race is an ugly mess that holds one of the most disturbing and mean-spirited “jokes” in the series. While I do think Patrick himself was awesome in the episode, I can’t say the same for Spongebob, as he is at some of his worst in this episode. This episode may not be as horrid as an episode like A Pal For Gary, but it’s still an awful one, nonetheless.
As a feminist, this is a huge plus in my books.
