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Gary in Love

Typed By: DadMom AngryPants

(Gary is watching TV)
Monica: Help, help!
Pirate: (Laughs evilly, then gets hit by something) Oh! Right in me crows nest! (Faints)
Brad: Monica!
Monica: Brad! (Runs to him and they embrace)
Brad: Oh, Monica, I thought I might never find you. (Gary tears up) I promise never to leave your side.
Monica: Oh, Brad!
Brad: Oh, Monica!
(SpongeBob turns off the TV)
SpongeBob: Do you know what today is, little guy?
Gary: Meow?
SpongeBob: It's take Gary for a walk in the park day!
Gary: Meow. (Goes in the other direction but SpongeBob lassos him with a leash)
(At the snail park)
SpongeBob: Isn't this great, Gary? A whole park full of your own species. Go ahead, have a good time. I'll just sit down for a second. (Sits on a bench between two sleeping people and falls asleep)
(Gary looks around the park and spots an attractive snail on a seesaw. He sits on the other end.)
Gary: Meow.
Mary: Meow.
(Tough snail stops the seesaw and catapults Gary away)
Bully snail: Hey, lightweight! What do you think you're doing with my girl? (To Mary) Come on, Mary, let's go.
Mary: Meow. (Slithers next to Gary)
Bully snail: You just made a big mistake, pal! (Gary bares his teeth, then SpongeBob picks him up)
SpongeBob: Say goodbye to your friends, Gary, playtime's over. I've got to fix us some dinner.
Gary: Meow.
Mary: Meow.
Monica: (Picks up Mary) Let's go, Mary.
Bully snail: Hey, this ain't over, runt! When I get through with you, the doctor won't know which way to sew your lips back on to! (To cronies) That little runt is gonna get what's coming to him.
(Back at the pineapple, SpongeBob is cooking)
SpongeBob: Mmm-mm! Seaweed noodle stew.
(Gary draws a picture of Mary)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: (Puts plate of stew on top of picture) Bon appetite, Gary! I made it with extra love.
(Gary imagines the stew turning into the shape of Mary and kisses it)
SpongeBob: Not exactly what I had in mind, but knock yourself out.
(Gary realizes it is just stew and sighs)
(Cut to SpongeBob in his bedroom, stretching)
SpongeBob: One. Two. One. Two. One. Two. One. Two. (Gary comes in) One. Two. One- oh, there you are! That sure was a knock out dinner, eh?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: (Picks him up) Come on, Gary, it's time for beddy-bye. (Puts him on newspaper and gets into bed) Night night, Gare-bear. (Falls asleep)
(Gary closes his eyes and dreams about Mary, then opens his eyes and slithers out of the pineapple)
(In the morning, SpongeBob is woken by his alarm)
SpongeBob: Good morning, Gary! Hmm, where is he? Oh, he's probably using his snail box. That was a pretty noodley stew he ate last night. (Checks litter box) Peek a boo! Huh, not in here either. (Looks around the house) Gary, where are you? (Spots dirty plate and picks it up) I am going to have to teach that snail how to clean up after himself. (Sees picture) What's this? Some sort of ransom note? Holy Neptune! My Gary has been petnapped by a deranged snail lover! (Runs out of house) Don't worry, Gare-bear, I'll save you!
(Cut to Gary at the snail park. He looks for Mary.)
Ugly snail: Meoooow.
(The three mean snails enter the park.)
Bully snail: After me, fellas.
Snail #1: How come we don't never come through the front, guys?
Bully snail: 'Cos bad guys don't never use the front door!
Snail #1: Well, I think that that's pretty ridiculous.
Bully snail: (To the snails in the park) All right, listen up! Any of you seen a snail come through here? About yay tall (indicates height), a shell, couple of eyes?
(Snails look at each other)
Snail #1: I think you need to be more descriptive.
Bully snail: Uh, oh, OK. Ah, let's see here. Uh, this particular snail thinks it's real funny to make goo goo eyes at my girl.
(Snails laugh)
Bully snail: Hey, what you's giggling at? They's giggling at me! All right, that's it! You's all goin' on my list! You's got that? You're on the list! (Tough snails leave park)
(Cut to SpongeBob running through town looking for Gary)
SpongeBob: Gary? Gary, where are you, buddy? (Spots slime trail and stops) Snail slime! Looks like it could be Gary's. Color's right, consistency matches … now for the true test! (Tastes it) Uh huh, it is Gary's slime! I'm on the trail, Gary! (Follows trail with tongue)
(Meanwhile, Gary is roaming through town, still looking for Mary. He suddenly spots her and follows her into the pet store.)
Harold: Well, hello there, little fellow! (Picks him up) Are you a stray? (Puts him in tank) There, now, isn't that better?
Gary: Meow. (Sees Mary leaving)
(Tough snails enter and Gary hides in his shell)
Bully snail: Meow, meow meow meow! (To clerk)
Harold: No, no I haven't seen any stray snails come in here.
Bully snail: He's trying to pull a fast one, fellas. Why don't we give him a taste of our special brand of swift justice?
Narrator: Two hours later.
(Store is damaged and clerk is sat on floor in fear)
Bully snail: That's enough boys. I think we've done a thorough job.
Snail #1: Yeah, let's get back to finding that snail. (Knocks cash register onto floor)
Snail #2: Hey boss, there's one left. (Indicates undamaged tank)
Bully snail: Oh yeah? I know you're in there, you little runt! (Smashes tank with bat) Yaaaah! (Huge worm is released and chases them; Gary comes out of hiding and makes for the exit)
Harold: You! Come back here, you gotta help me clean this place up! (Rocks back and forth) You brought this on yourself, Harold. I did not, Harold. Yes you did, Harold. Harold, I did not.
(Gary leaves and crosses the road but is honked at by a car with Mary and her owner, Monica)
Monica: Come on, move it! (Swerves around) Get out of the road!
Bully snail: Where do you think you're going? Get him! (Tough snails #2 and #3 accidentally bump heads and become tangled; Gary chases after the car using their tangled eye stalks as a catapult; he falls and lands on a driver's head)
Driver: Aaaah! (Weaves in and out of traffic until behind Monica's car; Gary jumps over to Mary)
Gary: Meow.
Mary: Meow.
(On the sidewalk, SpongeBob is still following the slime but spots Gary)
SpongeBob: Gary? Gary!
(Monica spots Gary in her car and brakes)
Monica: What the-? What do you think you're doing in my car? (Picks him up) No free rides, loafer.
SpongeBob: Hold it right there. Hands off my Gary, you snail napper!
Monica: Snail napper? I don't want your dumb old snail.
SpongeBob: Oh yeah, I suppose he wandered out of the house in the middle of the night just so he could jump into your car.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Not now, Gary, I'm scolding. And I suppose – w-what?
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: You … did wander out of the house on your own? But why? (Mary slithers next to Gary) Oh, I see why. Good old-fashioned amore.
Bully snail: Hey! This ain't over yet, runt! (They bare teeth at each other)
Brad: Monica! Monica!
Monica: (Sees Brad) Brad! (They hug)
Brad: Oh, Monica! I thought I might never find you, Monica. I was just taking Billy here for a walk. (Points to snail; Mary notices him)
Mary: Meow?
Billy: Meow.
(Gary and tough snail stop baring teeth and notice Mary and Billy in love)
Brad: I promise to never again leave your side. Let's go get a steaming hot cup of Joe.
Monica: Oh, Brad.
Brad: Oh, Monica. (All 4 leave)
SpongeBob: (To Gary) That's got to hurt, buddy.
Gary: (Sadly) Meow.
Bully snail: Come on, runt. I'll show you this great dumpster where we can get some seaweed noodle stew.
Gary: Meow? (Follows him)
SpongeBob: Don't stay out too late, Gary! They grow up so fast.
End