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Pet or Pests

(SpongeBob & Patrick are playing leap frog)
Patrick: Okay, SpongeBob, it's your turn. I'm ready!
SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, here I come! (runs and then leaps over Patrick)
Patrick: Nice landing! (rolls fast, leaps, but lands on his hands before SpongeBob) Darn, I missed. SpongeBob, look out for my body! (Patrick lands on SpongeBob's body and they both roll over a mountain and land in something prickly)
SpongeBob: Patrick, maybe we should play something that involves less thinking.
Patrick: Okay.
SpongeBob: Hey, maybe we can play a game with this ball that was buried under here!
Patrick: Ball! Let me see it. (the ball is actually a worm) What a weird ball.
SpongeBob: Well, who knows how long it... Ah! Mother of Neptune! Get away from me, get away from me!
Patrick: There's nothing to be afraid of, SpongeBob. It's just a little worm. See?
SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick. I'm sorry we destroyed your nest, little worm. I promise it won't happen again. (the worm rubs his head on SpongeBob's hand) Look Patrick.
Patrick: Looks like he's taking a fancy to you.
SpongeBob: Yeah. Hey! Why don't we invite Mr. Wormsley to stay at my place? At least until his nest grows back.
Patrick: That sounds delightful. (cut to SpongeBob & Patrick walking up to the pineapple)
SpongeBob: Gary! (knocks on door) Make yourself descent! (chuckles) You have a visitor. (Gary wakes up) Gary, wake up (opens the door) That's right, just bring in here, Careful, careful now. That's right.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Oh, hi, Gary. Are you ready to meet your new friend?
Gary: Meow?
SpongeBob: That's right. Say hello to Mr. Wormsley (Gary hisses at the worm and the worm barks at Gary)
Patrick: Something tells me they don't like each other.
SpongeBob: Come on now, guys, come on. Let's touch soft spots in a friendly manner. See, you're just saying hi. That's it, there you go. That's it. Oh, I knew you could get along. There, there you go. See, friends. (Gary gets on SpongeBob's face) Oh my goodness! Patrick, oh! Oh, Patrick, please do something! (screams)
Patrick: Uh, SpongeBob, I gotta get going. I'll check in on you later and see how your new pet is doing. Okay?
SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, see you later then. (SpongeBob continues to scream and run around. Cut to later that night)
SpongeBob: All right, Gary. Just so there isn't anymore upset, I'm gonna ask that you sleep on the guest newspaper tonight, and Mr. Wormsley is going to be sleeping in here with me.(Gary growls at the worm) Now, now, Gary, there's no need for protest. ( SpongeBob opens the door. And turns on the lights.) See I set it up all nice for you.There you are. Night, Gar. (SpongeBob closes the door)
Gary: Meow (cut to next morning where you can hear howling from outside)
SpongeBob: Oh, sounds like Patrick is having one of his night fits again. I'll just close the window. (closes it but still hears howling) Mr. Wormsley?! (SpongeBob pulls the newspaper off Mr. Wormsley, who is pregnant) Whoa! I'll be right back, Mr. Wormsley. I'm gonna go get help. Whatever's wrong with you, don't move! Just, uh, read the sports section or something. (cut to later with Patrick)
SpongeBob: He's in here. (Patrick enters a room) No, I can't look.
Patrick: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes?
Patrick: Something tells me Mr. Wormsley is actually a Mrs. Wormsley. (shows baby worms on the newspaper)
SponeBob: Oh, Patrick, it's a miracle!
Patrick: That it is.
SpongeBob: Wait till Gary sees.
Patrick: Yeah, wait till...
SpongeBob: See, Gar, they're right in here. Quiet now. They were born less than... (Gary and Mrs. Wormsley begin to hiss and bark at each other more)
Patrick: Looks like they still aren't quite used to each other.
SpongeBob: Well, these things take time. (Gary and Mrs. Wormsley get into a fight)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Duck and cover! (hide behind the bed)
Patrick: This town is getting too rough for me.
SpongeBob: He's chased her away. Now who will care for her abandoned litter of adorable newborn infants?
Patrick: Well, maybe you could take care of them.
Spongebob: Oh, no way, Patrick. I've never seen Gary that upset.
Patrick: Ga-- who?
SpongeBob: Nope, you and I are just gonna have to find loving homes for each and every one of these little guys. Right, Patrick? (door slams. Patrick is gone) Patrick? (cut to SpongeBob knocking on Squidward's door) Don't worry, little guys. Squidward is a really good friend of mine and he really likes pets.
Squidward: (opens door. Yawns) SpongeBob, what are you doing here? Don't you know that its 7:00 in the morning?
SpongeBob: Squidward, I came over with a very special surprise.
Squidward: Don't you know that it's 7:00 in the morning?
SpongeBob: How would you like to have your very own pet baby worm?
Squidward: Don't you know that its 7:00 in the--baby what?
SpongeBob: Baby worm. See? (one of the worms spits green slime all over Squidward's face) Aren't they just adorable at that age?
SpongeBob: So, how many did you want? (Squidward closes the door. Cut to Mrs Puff's house where SpongeBob holds down the doorbell)
Mrs Puff: Yes? Oh, it's you, SpongeBob. What are you, uh, doing here? And not that the teacher's most enthusiastic student isn't welcome in her house. (notices SpongeBob still ringing the doorbell and sighs. SpongeBob finally lets go)
SpongeBob: Good morning, Mrs. Puff.
Mrs. Puff: It almost was.
SpongeBob: Would you like a baby worm?
Mrs. Puff: A what? (screams. Inflates her body to break some of her house in pieces)
SpongeBob: Uh, I'll just come back later, Mrs. Puff. Have a nice day!
Mrs. Puff: (house collapses) I hate Mondays.
SpongeBob: Don't worry, little worms. I know a place where we can find go to find homes for every single one of you. (cut to Supermarket) Good morning, ma'am. How are you today? Could I interest you in some... (lady just keeps walking) Ma'am? (Larry comes out of the Supermarket whistling) That whistling. It's Larry Lobster! Hi, Larry, what are you up to?
Larry: Do I know you?
SpongeBob: Probably not.
Larry: I was just picking up some dietary supplements here at the supermarket. I've been working on my chest...and buns.
SpongeBob: So I see.
Larry: Well, catch you later.
SpongeBob: Oh, Larry, wait.
Larry: No time now. Somewhere there's sand that needs kicking.
SpongeBob: Okay, I was just gonna see if you wanted one of these poor, lonely baby worms.
Larry: Baby worms?
SpongeBob: Well, yeah.
Larry: I'll take them off your hands.
SpongeBob: Really?
Larry: Sure, why not? That's just what the nutritionist ordered. Raw protein.
SpongeBob: Larry, no! (saves the worms from being eaten but the box gets away from him)
Larry: Dude, nice hustle.
SpongeBob: (screams and babbles as the box of worms is in the middle of an intersection. An 18-wheeler is headed that way. Larry launches SpongeBob onto the truck. SpongeBob gets inside it and removes three plugs and unscrews the engine. The truck comes to a complete stop right before the worms) Oh, little wormies, I'm so glad you're safe. Now let's go see about finding you those homes I promised. (phone rings) Hello?
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, it's Mr. Krabs. I've been looking all over for you. You're three hours late for work.
SpongeBob: (screams)
Mr. Krabs: Hello?
SpongeBob: (enters the Krusty Krab) I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs, I came as fast as I could.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, are you sure you're feeling shipshape?
SpongeBob: (panting and whimpering) I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs. My pet worm had babies and got chased away. Now I gotta find them all a place to live.
Mr. Krabs: Babies?
SpongeBob: Yeah.
Mr. Krabs: Let me see.
SpongeBob: Really?
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, come on, let me see them. I like babies.
SpongeBob: Well, okay.
Mr. Krabs: (looks inside the box) Hey there, little critters. Come to... (one of the worms spits green slime on Mr. Krab's head)
SpongeBob: Oh, he likes you.
Mr. Krabs: Get that disgusting vermin out of me restaurant, pronto. (SpongeBob runs out sobbing) Blech! (cut to SpongeBob behind the Krusty Krab in the trash cans)
SpongeBob: Oh, well, at least I still have you guys. (garbage truck comes up)
Garbage Fish #1: Hmm. (sniffs the goo off of SpongeBob)
Garbage Fish #2: What is it?
Garbage Fish #1: I'd recognize this goo anywhere. It comes from a baby spotted glistening meadow worm. The rarest of its species.
Garbage Fish #2: Dude, those things are worth a fortune.
Mr. Krabs: Did you say fortune? (cut to Mr. Krabs trying to sell the baby worms. Speaking into a megaphone) $5.99. That's right. Get em while they last. Don't be shy, folks.
Fish #115: These things are so cute! (hands money to Mr. Krabs)
SpongeBob: Enjoy your new home, little guy.
Fish #115: Isn't he just adorable. (gets spit on the face with the green goo from her worm. Everyone cheers)
SpongeBob: That sure was a great idea you had, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Well, it's like they always say back in the Old Country, lad.
SpongeBob: What's that?
Mr. Krabs: I don't know. I've never been to the Old Country! (both laugh)
End