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ITS GETTING MORE INTENSE
The SpongeBuddy Files
Written by BrickSponge2015
BobSponge: IT'S MANGLIN' TIME
(BobSponge jumps into the street and rolls across the city until he crashes through the window of the police station and right onto ssj's desk)
ssj: Uh... hello.
BobSponge: THAT BAGEL MAN FROM EUROPE HAS A TELEGRAM FOR YOU, SIR!
(BobSponge takes out a message in a bottle and is about to hand it to ssj when he suddenly snatches it back)
BobSponge: Wait.
(BobSponge pulls out a hose and sprays ssj in the face with water, then hands it to him)
BobSponge: Here. Well, I'll be going now.
(BobSponge punches a huge hole in the wall right next to the broken window and rolls away)
ssj: Uh… thank you! Now, let’s see what’s in here.
(ssj takes the message out of the bottle and starts reading it)
ssj: Can do, Bagel. Can do.
(ssj drives his police car up to Bagel’s house and walks inside through the hole in the front of Bagel’s house)
ssj: What happened to this place?
(BobSponge is wrapped in tin foil and hanging from the ceiling, twitching)
BobSponge: MWEHEHEHEH UNLICENSED USE OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S IMAGE
Bagel: Okay, BobSponge… you can go home now.
(BobSponge’s torso explodes into confetti and sausages, sending his head and limbs flying off in random directions)
ssj: Okay then! I’ve had enough of that guy for today.
BobSponge: THE RIDE NEVER ENDS (explodes again)
(beat)
Bagel: Okay, ssj. I need you to help me with this election. Since me and Brick are busy advertising, I need you to do some research.
ssj: Okay.
Bagel: Can you get me some stuff that will hurt Moxley’s image?
ssj: Bagel… I mean, I believe you, I think Yak is evil too, but… I’m the chief of police, and she’s the mayor. I could get fired!
Bagel: No, no, I know! But, you know, maybe for the… city… you could… just… possibly… you know…
ssj: (sigh) Okay, Bagel. I’ll do some research.
(We see a montage of ssj googling Moxley and taking notes, him looking through Moxley’s mailbox then kevin opening the box and ssj hiding back inside it, then TheOpenWindowManiac pushing him out, ssj spying on Moxley with binoculars, and looking through the trash outside town hall)
ssj: Bagel… this is stupid. To get voters you should say good stuff about yourself, not bad stuff about your opponent!
Bagel: ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SSJ? I MEAN, REALLY? YOU’RE JOKING, RIGHT? HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT? HOW? HOW, SSJ, HOW? HOW ARE PEOPLE GOING TO LIKE ME IF THEY ALSO LIKE MOXLEY? I MEAN, DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE A NEUTRAL OPINION OR WHATEVER? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING! THAT’S HOW CRAZY YOU ARE! YOU’RE CONFUSING ME! I MEAN, I’M CONFUSING MYSELF, BUT IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU SICK FREAK! YOU’RE AN INSANE PSYCHOPATH WHO THINKS THAT I CAN GET VOTES BY SAYING GOOD STUFF ABOUT MYSELF INSTEAD OF SAYING BAD STUFF ABOUT MOXLEY! I MEAN, WHO WOULD FALL FOR THAT? THAT’S SO STUPID! IT’S SO DUMB! I DON’T EVEN KNOW! WHAT IS THIS! WHAT IS THIS ROCK? WHAT IS THIS CUP OF WATER? WHAT IS THIS WALL? WHAT IS THIS HAMMER? WHAT IS THIS HOLE IN THE WALL I JUST MADE WITH THIS HAMMER? WHAT IS THIS BRICK THAT JUST HIT ME ON THE HEAD? WHAT? IS? YOUR? PROBLEM?
(beat)
Bagel: Besides, saying bad things about Moxley isn’t the only way to get votes! I can say good things about myself too!
ssj: THAT’S WHAT I JUST SAID!
Bagel: Gee, someone’s in a bad mood.
(ssj facepalms so hard that he flies across the city and crashes into a lamppost right outside town hall. The lamppost falls and crushes part of town hall)
Bagel: Oops.
Moxley: OH MY GOSH! It’ll take an entire episode to fix that!
kevin: We’ll have to stay somewhere.
ssj: (huge goofy grin) You could stay at the police station!
kevin: Why?
ssj: Well, it’s a government building.
kevin: But wait- we have houses, sir! I mean ma’am! I mean-
Moxley: ssj, that’s a great idea! kevin, we’re moving into the police station.
Bagel: Uh… that was my plan all along!
(We cut to Bagel’s house at night, still somewhat destroyed from the last episode. Bagel is on the phone with ssj)
Bagel: Okay, ssj. Now that Moxley and kevin are living in the police station, it’ll be much easier to find something to destroy their image.
ssj: (on phone) Yup.
4 DAYS LATER
(ssj opens the fridge at the police station)
ssj: UGH! Moxley, I told you about this earlier. Your unfinished strudel has been in there for 4 days! You should have eaten it earlier but now it’s all gross and it’s smelling up the fridge! I’m throwing it away.
Moxley: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MEI STRADEL!
(Moxley jumps on the trash can, knocking it over)
ssj: (sighs) UUUUUUUGGGGHHHH fine.
(ssj puts it back in the fridge)
Moxley: That’s better.
1 DAY LATER
(It’s sunset)
Moxley: kevin, are you all packed up?
kevin: Ready.
ssj: Packed up for what?
Moxley: We’re leaving tonight.
ssj’s mind: Oh no! I didn’t get anything for Bagel’s campaign!
ssj: Oh, well… it was nice having you here!
Moxley: Yeah, the police station is like a hotel!
(Moxley starts laughing for no reason and ssj awkwardly laughs along)
Moxley: Well, I’d better be leaving.
(Moxley and kevin walk outside with their bags and stuff)
ssj: I can’t believe I didn’t get anything. Well, I guess I’ll finish that ice cream now.
(ssj opens the fridge and sees Moxley’s strudel covered in mold)
ssj: OH, GOD!
(He then looks around and sees that the mold has spread to all of the food)
ssj: I NEED TO GET RID OF THIS NOW!
(A UPS truck shows up outside)
UPS Employee: I have a package delivery for-
(ssj grabs the fridge, jumps in the back of the UPS truck, and hands the employee 20 dollars)
ssj: DRIVE ME TO THE DUMP AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
(The UPS truck drives away past Moxley and kevin)
Moxley: Wait, kevin! I forgot that strudel!
kevin: Uh… I really don’t think you should eat that now.
Moxley: Nonsense! I’ll just go back inside and get it!
(Moxley walks back inside and sees that the fridge is gone and gasps then looks outside and sees the UPS truck driving away)
Moxley: MY STRUDEL! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
(Moxley runs outside and sees Slash’s car)
Slash: You’re listening to K.R.U.D, the home for all your-
(Moxley pushes Slash out of his car and gets in the driver’s seat)
Moxley: THERE’S NO TIME!
Slash: Oh, come on, at least let me finish!
(Moxley drives away)
kevin: WAIT FOR ME!
(Moxley backs up really fast and crashes into kevin)
Moxley: kevin? Where’d you go?
(We cut to the UPS truck speeding away from the police station and through Schadenfreude Street)
Bagel: E.V.I.L, stop playing in the street! A car is gonna crash into you, it’s gonna explode, and then we’re gonna get sued.
E.V.I.L: I MISSED YOU, MAMA!
(Bagel walks into the street towards E.V.I.L)
Bagel: E.V.I.L, please just-
(Bagel gets hit by the UPS truck and gets stuck to the windshield as the truck speeds around a corner and towards the bridge to outer SBMtopia over the gorge from the Christmas special)
Bagel: WHAT’S HAPPENING?
Moxley: MY STRUDEL!
(Moxley and kevin speed after the UPS truck as they cross the bridge)
ssj: EAT WAITING
(ssj starts throwing boxes at Moxley’s car)
Moxley: KEVIN! KILL THAT MAN!
(kevin somehow jumps on the boxes as they fly through the air onto the top of the UPS truck)
ssj: HOW DID HE DO THAT?
Bagel: SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST EXPLAIN THIS
ssj: MOXLEY’S GROSS STRUDEL INFECTED THE WHOLE FRIDGE SO I’M TAKING IT TO THE DUMP!
Bagel: MOXLEY’S GROSS STRUDEL? GET THIS ON FILM FOR A CAMPAIGN AD!
ssj: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, BAGEL? ARE YOU INSANE? I KNOW THAT WE’RE TRYING TO BEAT MOXLEY SO WE CAN BAN YAK, BUT WE SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW!
(kevin punches a hole in the roof of the van somehow, rips it open using his bare hands, and jumps in to fight ssj)
ssj: IT’S JUST A MOLDY STRUDEL! WHY DO YOU WANT IT SO BAD?
Moxley: MEEEEEE STRUUUUDEL!
(The UPS truck crashes through the front of Staples, drives through it, crashes back out through the back, keeps driving while ssj and kevin wrestle each other, and stops at a giant hole in the ground full of trash)
ssj: OPEN THE BACK!
(The UPS employee opens the back doors. ssj is about to push the fridge into the hole when Moxley runs and blocks his path)
Moxley: IF YOU WANT TO THROW AWAY THAT STRUDEL, YOU GOTTA GET THROUGH ME!
ssj: Okay.
(ssj pushes the fridge out of the back of the van and it crashes into Moxley, pushing her into the trash pit too)
ssj: JUST DRIVE!
(The UPS van speeds away. kevin walks over and looks down into the trash pit)
kevin: MOXLEY! Are you okay?
(Moxley’s head pokes out of the trash pit)
kevin: Thank Stephen Hillenburg you’re alive!
Moxley: kevin.
kevin: Yes?
Moxley: kevin.
kevin: Yes?
Moxley: KEVIN!
kevin: JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Moxley: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!
kevin: YES I AM!
Moxley: I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!
kevin: OKAY! FINE! BUT I’M LISTENING!
Moxley: Even though I know you’re not listening, I just have one thing to say.
kevin: Yes? What is it?
Moxley: Okay. I want you to listen, because this is very important.
(We just cut to black)
The SpongeBuddy Files
Written by BrickSponge2015
BobSponge: IT'S MANGLIN' TIME
(BobSponge jumps into the street and rolls across the city until he crashes through the window of the police station and right onto ssj's desk)
ssj: Uh... hello.
BobSponge: THAT BAGEL MAN FROM EUROPE HAS A TELEGRAM FOR YOU, SIR!
(BobSponge takes out a message in a bottle and is about to hand it to ssj when he suddenly snatches it back)
BobSponge: Wait.
(BobSponge pulls out a hose and sprays ssj in the face with water, then hands it to him)
BobSponge: Here. Well, I'll be going now.
(BobSponge punches a huge hole in the wall right next to the broken window and rolls away)
ssj: Uh… thank you! Now, let’s see what’s in here.
(ssj takes the message out of the bottle and starts reading it)
ssj: Can do, Bagel. Can do.
(ssj drives his police car up to Bagel’s house and walks inside through the hole in the front of Bagel’s house)
ssj: What happened to this place?
(BobSponge is wrapped in tin foil and hanging from the ceiling, twitching)
BobSponge: MWEHEHEHEH UNLICENSED USE OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S IMAGE
Bagel: Okay, BobSponge… you can go home now.
(BobSponge’s torso explodes into confetti and sausages, sending his head and limbs flying off in random directions)
ssj: Okay then! I’ve had enough of that guy for today.
BobSponge: THE RIDE NEVER ENDS (explodes again)
(beat)
Bagel: Okay, ssj. I need you to help me with this election. Since me and Brick are busy advertising, I need you to do some research.
ssj: Okay.
Bagel: Can you get me some stuff that will hurt Moxley’s image?
ssj: Bagel… I mean, I believe you, I think Yak is evil too, but… I’m the chief of police, and she’s the mayor. I could get fired!
Bagel: No, no, I know! But, you know, maybe for the… city… you could… just… possibly… you know…
ssj: (sigh) Okay, Bagel. I’ll do some research.
(We see a montage of ssj googling Moxley and taking notes, him looking through Moxley’s mailbox then kevin opening the box and ssj hiding back inside it, then TheOpenWindowManiac pushing him out, ssj spying on Moxley with binoculars, and looking through the trash outside town hall)
ssj: Bagel… this is stupid. To get voters you should say good stuff about yourself, not bad stuff about your opponent!
Bagel: ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SSJ? I MEAN, REALLY? YOU’RE JOKING, RIGHT? HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT? HOW? HOW, SSJ, HOW? HOW ARE PEOPLE GOING TO LIKE ME IF THEY ALSO LIKE MOXLEY? I MEAN, DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE A NEUTRAL OPINION OR WHATEVER? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING! THAT’S HOW CRAZY YOU ARE! YOU’RE CONFUSING ME! I MEAN, I’M CONFUSING MYSELF, BUT IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU SICK FREAK! YOU’RE AN INSANE PSYCHOPATH WHO THINKS THAT I CAN GET VOTES BY SAYING GOOD STUFF ABOUT MYSELF INSTEAD OF SAYING BAD STUFF ABOUT MOXLEY! I MEAN, WHO WOULD FALL FOR THAT? THAT’S SO STUPID! IT’S SO DUMB! I DON’T EVEN KNOW! WHAT IS THIS! WHAT IS THIS ROCK? WHAT IS THIS CUP OF WATER? WHAT IS THIS WALL? WHAT IS THIS HAMMER? WHAT IS THIS HOLE IN THE WALL I JUST MADE WITH THIS HAMMER? WHAT IS THIS BRICK THAT JUST HIT ME ON THE HEAD? WHAT? IS? YOUR? PROBLEM?
(beat)
Bagel: Besides, saying bad things about Moxley isn’t the only way to get votes! I can say good things about myself too!
ssj: THAT’S WHAT I JUST SAID!
Bagel: Gee, someone’s in a bad mood.
(ssj facepalms so hard that he flies across the city and crashes into a lamppost right outside town hall. The lamppost falls and crushes part of town hall)
Bagel: Oops.
Moxley: OH MY GOSH! It’ll take an entire episode to fix that!
kevin: We’ll have to stay somewhere.
ssj: (huge goofy grin) You could stay at the police station!
kevin: Why?
ssj: Well, it’s a government building.
kevin: But wait- we have houses, sir! I mean ma’am! I mean-
Moxley: ssj, that’s a great idea! kevin, we’re moving into the police station.
Bagel: Uh… that was my plan all along!
(We cut to Bagel’s house at night, still somewhat destroyed from the last episode. Bagel is on the phone with ssj)
Bagel: Okay, ssj. Now that Moxley and kevin are living in the police station, it’ll be much easier to find something to destroy their image.
ssj: (on phone) Yup.
4 DAYS LATER
(ssj opens the fridge at the police station)
ssj: UGH! Moxley, I told you about this earlier. Your unfinished strudel has been in there for 4 days! You should have eaten it earlier but now it’s all gross and it’s smelling up the fridge! I’m throwing it away.
Moxley: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MEI STRADEL!
(Moxley jumps on the trash can, knocking it over)
ssj: (sighs) UUUUUUUGGGGHHHH fine.
(ssj puts it back in the fridge)
Moxley: That’s better.
1 DAY LATER
(It’s sunset)
Moxley: kevin, are you all packed up?
kevin: Ready.
ssj: Packed up for what?
Moxley: We’re leaving tonight.
ssj’s mind: Oh no! I didn’t get anything for Bagel’s campaign!
ssj: Oh, well… it was nice having you here!
Moxley: Yeah, the police station is like a hotel!
(Moxley starts laughing for no reason and ssj awkwardly laughs along)
Moxley: Well, I’d better be leaving.
(Moxley and kevin walk outside with their bags and stuff)
ssj: I can’t believe I didn’t get anything. Well, I guess I’ll finish that ice cream now.
(ssj opens the fridge and sees Moxley’s strudel covered in mold)
ssj: OH, GOD!
(He then looks around and sees that the mold has spread to all of the food)
ssj: I NEED TO GET RID OF THIS NOW!
(A UPS truck shows up outside)
UPS Employee: I have a package delivery for-
(ssj grabs the fridge, jumps in the back of the UPS truck, and hands the employee 20 dollars)
ssj: DRIVE ME TO THE DUMP AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
(The UPS truck drives away past Moxley and kevin)
Moxley: Wait, kevin! I forgot that strudel!
kevin: Uh… I really don’t think you should eat that now.
Moxley: Nonsense! I’ll just go back inside and get it!
(Moxley walks back inside and sees that the fridge is gone and gasps then looks outside and sees the UPS truck driving away)
Moxley: MY STRUDEL! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
(Moxley runs outside and sees Slash’s car)
Slash: You’re listening to K.R.U.D, the home for all your-
(Moxley pushes Slash out of his car and gets in the driver’s seat)
Moxley: THERE’S NO TIME!
Slash: Oh, come on, at least let me finish!
(Moxley drives away)
kevin: WAIT FOR ME!
(Moxley backs up really fast and crashes into kevin)
Moxley: kevin? Where’d you go?
(We cut to the UPS truck speeding away from the police station and through Schadenfreude Street)
Bagel: E.V.I.L, stop playing in the street! A car is gonna crash into you, it’s gonna explode, and then we’re gonna get sued.
E.V.I.L: I MISSED YOU, MAMA!
(Bagel walks into the street towards E.V.I.L)
Bagel: E.V.I.L, please just-
(Bagel gets hit by the UPS truck and gets stuck to the windshield as the truck speeds around a corner and towards the bridge to outer SBMtopia over the gorge from the Christmas special)
Bagel: WHAT’S HAPPENING?
Moxley: MY STRUDEL!
(Moxley and kevin speed after the UPS truck as they cross the bridge)
ssj: EAT WAITING
(ssj starts throwing boxes at Moxley’s car)
Moxley: KEVIN! KILL THAT MAN!
(kevin somehow jumps on the boxes as they fly through the air onto the top of the UPS truck)
ssj: HOW DID HE DO THAT?
Bagel: SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST EXPLAIN THIS
ssj: MOXLEY’S GROSS STRUDEL INFECTED THE WHOLE FRIDGE SO I’M TAKING IT TO THE DUMP!
Bagel: MOXLEY’S GROSS STRUDEL? GET THIS ON FILM FOR A CAMPAIGN AD!
ssj: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, BAGEL? ARE YOU INSANE? I KNOW THAT WE’RE TRYING TO BEAT MOXLEY SO WE CAN BAN YAK, BUT WE SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW!
(kevin punches a hole in the roof of the van somehow, rips it open using his bare hands, and jumps in to fight ssj)
ssj: IT’S JUST A MOLDY STRUDEL! WHY DO YOU WANT IT SO BAD?
Moxley: MEEEEEE STRUUUUDEL!
(The UPS truck crashes through the front of Staples, drives through it, crashes back out through the back, keeps driving while ssj and kevin wrestle each other, and stops at a giant hole in the ground full of trash)
ssj: OPEN THE BACK!
(The UPS employee opens the back doors. ssj is about to push the fridge into the hole when Moxley runs and blocks his path)
Moxley: IF YOU WANT TO THROW AWAY THAT STRUDEL, YOU GOTTA GET THROUGH ME!
ssj: Okay.
(ssj pushes the fridge out of the back of the van and it crashes into Moxley, pushing her into the trash pit too)
ssj: JUST DRIVE!
(The UPS van speeds away. kevin walks over and looks down into the trash pit)
kevin: MOXLEY! Are you okay?
(Moxley’s head pokes out of the trash pit)
kevin: Thank Stephen Hillenburg you’re alive!
Moxley: kevin.
kevin: Yes?
Moxley: kevin.
kevin: Yes?
Moxley: KEVIN!
kevin: JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Moxley: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!
kevin: YES I AM!
Moxley: I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!
kevin: OKAY! FINE! BUT I’M LISTENING!
Moxley: Even though I know you’re not listening, I just have one thing to say.
kevin: Yes? What is it?
Moxley: Okay. I want you to listen, because this is very important.
(We just cut to black)