The SBM Show

ITS GETTING MORE INTENSE

The SpongeBuddy Files
Written by BrickSponge2015
BobSponge: IT'S MANGLIN' TIME
(BobSponge jumps into the street and rolls across the city until he crashes through the window of the police station and right onto ssj's desk)
ssj: Uh... hello.
BobSponge: THAT BAGEL MAN FROM EUROPE HAS A TELEGRAM FOR YOU, SIR!
(BobSponge takes out a message in a bottle and is about to hand it to ssj when he suddenly snatches it back)
BobSponge: Wait.
(BobSponge pulls out a hose and sprays ssj in the face with water, then hands it to him)
BobSponge: Here. Well, I'll be going now.
(BobSponge punches a huge hole in the wall right next to the broken window and rolls away)
ssj: Uh… thank you! Now, let’s see what’s in here.
(ssj takes the message out of the bottle and starts reading it)
ssj: Can do, Bagel. Can do.
(ssj drives his police car up to Bagel’s house and walks inside through the hole in the front of Bagel’s house)
ssj: What happened to this place?
(BobSponge is wrapped in tin foil and hanging from the ceiling, twitching)
BobSponge: MWEHEHEHEH UNLICENSED USE OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S IMAGE
Bagel: Okay, BobSponge… you can go home now.
(BobSponge’s torso explodes into confetti and sausages, sending his head and limbs flying off in random directions)
ssj: Okay then! I’ve had enough of that guy for today.
BobSponge: THE RIDE NEVER ENDS (explodes again)
(beat)
Bagel: Okay, ssj. I need you to help me with this election. Since me and Brick are busy advertising, I need you to do some research.
ssj: Okay.
Bagel: Can you get me some stuff that will hurt Moxley’s image?
ssj: Bagel… I mean, I believe you, I think Yak is evil too, but… I’m the chief of police, and she’s the mayor. I could get fired!
Bagel: No, no, I know! But, you know, maybe for the… city… you could… just… possibly… you know…
ssj: (sigh) Okay, Bagel. I’ll do some research.
(We see a montage of ssj googling Moxley and taking notes, him looking through Moxley’s mailbox then kevin opening the box and ssj hiding back inside it, then TheOpenWindowManiac pushing him out, ssj spying on Moxley with binoculars, and looking through the trash outside town hall)
ssj: Bagel… this is stupid. To get voters you should say good stuff about yourself, not bad stuff about your opponent!
Bagel: ARE YOU KIDDING ME, SSJ? I MEAN, REALLY? YOU’RE JOKING, RIGHT? HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT? HOW? HOW, SSJ, HOW? HOW ARE PEOPLE GOING TO LIKE ME IF THEY ALSO LIKE MOXLEY? I MEAN, DO YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE CAN HAVE A NEUTRAL OPINION OR WHATEVER? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING! THAT’S HOW CRAZY YOU ARE! YOU’RE CONFUSING ME! I MEAN, I’M CONFUSING MYSELF, BUT IT’S BECAUSE OF YOU! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? YOU SICK FREAK! YOU’RE AN INSANE PSYCHOPATH WHO THINKS THAT I CAN GET VOTES BY SAYING GOOD STUFF ABOUT MYSELF INSTEAD OF SAYING BAD STUFF ABOUT MOXLEY! I MEAN, WHO WOULD FALL FOR THAT? THAT’S SO STUPID! IT’S SO DUMB! I DON’T EVEN KNOW! WHAT IS THIS! WHAT IS THIS ROCK? WHAT IS THIS CUP OF WATER? WHAT IS THIS WALL? WHAT IS THIS HAMMER? WHAT IS THIS HOLE IN THE WALL I JUST MADE WITH THIS HAMMER? WHAT IS THIS BRICK THAT JUST HIT ME ON THE HEAD? WHAT? IS? YOUR? PROBLEM?
(beat)
Bagel: Besides, saying bad things about Moxley isn’t the only way to get votes! I can say good things about myself too!
ssj: THAT’S WHAT I JUST SAID!
Bagel: Gee, someone’s in a bad mood.
(ssj facepalms so hard that he flies across the city and crashes into a lamppost right outside town hall. The lamppost falls and crushes part of town hall)
Bagel: Oops.
Moxley: OH MY GOSH! It’ll take an entire episode to fix that!
kevin: We’ll have to stay somewhere.
ssj: (huge goofy grin) You could stay at the police station!
kevin: Why?
ssj: Well, it’s a government building.
kevin: But wait- we have houses, sir! I mean ma’am! I mean-
Moxley: ssj, that’s a great idea! kevin, we’re moving into the police station.
Bagel: Uh… that was my plan all along!
(We cut to Bagel’s house at night, still somewhat destroyed from the last episode. Bagel is on the phone with ssj)
Bagel: Okay, ssj. Now that Moxley and kevin are living in the police station, it’ll be much easier to find something to destroy their image.
ssj: (on phone) Yup.
4 DAYS LATER
(ssj opens the fridge at the police station)
ssj: UGH! Moxley, I told you about this earlier. Your unfinished strudel has been in there for 4 days! You should have eaten it earlier but now it’s all gross and it’s smelling up the fridge! I’m throwing it away.
Moxley: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MEI STRADEL!
(Moxley jumps on the trash can, knocking it over)
ssj: (sighs) UUUUUUUGGGGHHHH fine.
(ssj puts it back in the fridge)
Moxley: That’s better.
1 DAY LATER
(It’s sunset)
Moxley: kevin, are you all packed up?
kevin: Ready.
ssj: Packed up for what?
Moxley: We’re leaving tonight.
ssj’s mind: Oh no! I didn’t get anything for Bagel’s campaign!
ssj: Oh, well… it was nice having you here!
Moxley: Yeah, the police station is like a hotel!
(Moxley starts laughing for no reason and ssj awkwardly laughs along)
Moxley: Well, I’d better be leaving.
(Moxley and kevin walk outside with their bags and stuff)
ssj: I can’t believe I didn’t get anything. Well, I guess I’ll finish that ice cream now.
(ssj opens the fridge and sees Moxley’s strudel covered in mold)
ssj: OH, GOD!
(He then looks around and sees that the mold has spread to all of the food)
ssj: I NEED TO GET RID OF THIS NOW!
(A UPS truck shows up outside)
UPS Employee: I have a package delivery for-
(ssj grabs the fridge, jumps in the back of the UPS truck, and hands the employee 20 dollars)
ssj: DRIVE ME TO THE DUMP AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
(The UPS truck drives away past Moxley and kevin)
Moxley: Wait, kevin! I forgot that strudel!
kevin: Uh… I really don’t think you should eat that now.
Moxley: Nonsense! I’ll just go back inside and get it!
(Moxley walks back inside and sees that the fridge is gone and gasps then looks outside and sees the UPS truck driving away)
Moxley: MY STRUDEL! NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!
(Moxley runs outside and sees Slash’s car)
Slash: You’re listening to K.R.U.D, the home for all your-
(Moxley pushes Slash out of his car and gets in the driver’s seat)
Moxley: THERE’S NO TIME!
Slash: Oh, come on, at least let me finish!
(Moxley drives away)
kevin: WAIT FOR ME!
(Moxley backs up really fast and crashes into kevin)
Moxley: kevin? Where’d you go?
(We cut to the UPS truck speeding away from the police station and through Schadenfreude Street)
Bagel: E.V.I.L, stop playing in the street! A car is gonna crash into you, it’s gonna explode, and then we’re gonna get sued.
E.V.I.L: I MISSED YOU, MAMA!
(Bagel walks into the street towards E.V.I.L)
Bagel: E.V.I.L, please just-
(Bagel gets hit by the UPS truck and gets stuck to the windshield as the truck speeds around a corner and towards the bridge to outer SBMtopia over the gorge from the Christmas special)
Bagel: WHAT’S HAPPENING?
Moxley: MY STRUDEL!
(Moxley and kevin speed after the UPS truck as they cross the bridge)
ssj: EAT WAITING
(ssj starts throwing boxes at Moxley’s car)
Moxley: KEVIN! KILL THAT MAN!
(kevin somehow jumps on the boxes as they fly through the air onto the top of the UPS truck)
ssj: HOW DID HE DO THAT?
Bagel: SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST EXPLAIN THIS
ssj: MOXLEY’S GROSS STRUDEL INFECTED THE WHOLE FRIDGE SO I’M TAKING IT TO THE DUMP!
Bagel: MOXLEY’S GROSS STRUDEL? GET THIS ON FILM FOR A CAMPAIGN AD!
ssj: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, BAGEL? ARE YOU INSANE? I KNOW THAT WE’RE TRYING TO BEAT MOXLEY SO WE CAN BAN YAK, BUT WE SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW!
(kevin punches a hole in the roof of the van somehow, rips it open using his bare hands, and jumps in to fight ssj)
ssj: IT’S JUST A MOLDY STRUDEL! WHY DO YOU WANT IT SO BAD?
Moxley: MEEEEEE STRUUUUDEL!
(The UPS truck crashes through the front of Staples, drives through it, crashes back out through the back, keeps driving while ssj and kevin wrestle each other, and stops at a giant hole in the ground full of trash)
ssj: OPEN THE BACK!
(The UPS employee opens the back doors. ssj is about to push the fridge into the hole when Moxley runs and blocks his path)
Moxley: IF YOU WANT TO THROW AWAY THAT STRUDEL, YOU GOTTA GET THROUGH ME!
ssj: Okay.
(ssj pushes the fridge out of the back of the van and it crashes into Moxley, pushing her into the trash pit too)
ssj: JUST DRIVE!
(The UPS van speeds away. kevin walks over and looks down into the trash pit)
kevin: MOXLEY! Are you okay?
(Moxley’s head pokes out of the trash pit)
kevin: Thank Stephen Hillenburg you’re alive!
Moxley: kevin.
kevin: Yes?
Moxley: kevin.
kevin: Yes?
Moxley: KEVIN!
kevin: JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Moxley: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!
kevin: YES I AM!
Moxley: I DON’T BELIEVE YOU!
kevin: OKAY! FINE! BUT I’M LISTENING!
Moxley: Even though I know you’re not listening, I just have one thing to say.
kevin: Yes? What is it?
Moxley: Okay. I want you to listen, because this is very important.
(We just cut to black)
 
I just hope it doesn't go downhill after Season 5 or 6.

And if you are gonna put me in the show, I better be portrayed as an actual Pokemon that speaks Pokespeak (That can "understand" English like from the Pokemon TV show).
 
Minun said:
I just hope it doesn't go downhill after Season 5 or 6.

And if you are gonna put me in the show, I better be portrayed as an actual Pokemon that speaks Pokespeak (That can "understand" English like from the Pokemon TV show).
Click to expand...
we're probably ending it after season 3
 
Bl4zeTMG said:
I hope this show doesn't get cancelled. Yikes!
worried-man.jpg
Click to expand...

But you do lol
 
OMFG WE'RE TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL
this year's Halloween episode is one of my favorite things I've ever wrote, second only to the season finale which is airing on Bagel's birthday!
 
BrickSponge2015 said:
OMFG WE'RE TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL
this year's Halloween episode is one of my favorite things I've ever wrote, second only to the season finale which is airing on Bagel's birthday!
Click to expand...
YES SNEAK PEEK FOR NEXT WEEKS EPISODE AND HALLOWEEN SPECIAL BECAUSE YEAH

NEXT EPISODE:
(The rollercoaster collapses behind him)
Bagel: Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to purchase some ice cream for all of the little children.
(Bagel walks up to an ice cream cart and buys all of the SpongeBob ice creams and throws them up in the air into a crowd of young children)
Bagel: Eat, my children! Eat!
(The ice creams hit them on the head and they pass out, dropping like flies)
Bagel: Of course, I will save one for myself. Perhaps this one here.
(Bagel does a slow, creepy, forced laugh as he takes the wrapper off and very slowly raps his tongue around the ice cream)

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL:
Mr. Burns: ME NO SPEEKY CHINEE
Homer: YEEHAW
lemurboy123: YEEHAW YOURSELF
(Homer gets flung across the room)
Mr. Burns: FEMALE FIRE STATION
Bart: CARUMBARBA
Lil Butler: WELL I ALWAYS
Bagel: OKAY GOODBYE EVERYONE
(Bagel presses a button and the conveyer belt speeds up crazy fast, making everybody fall into a lava pit)
Bagel: MWUUHUHUHUH

By the way, the Halloween special doesn't have to do with the other story arc. You can read it stand alone.
 
BrickSponge2015 said:
OMFG WE'RE TWO WEEKS AWAY FROM THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL
this year's Halloween episode is one of my favorite things I've ever wrote, second only to the season finale which is airing on Bagel's birthday!
Click to expand...
Omg cant wait!!! I hope to see every character play a part though :)
 
Safety Check
Written by BrickSponge2015
(We see ssj slowly walk with his head down on the sidewalk on Schadenfreude Street and through the hole in the wall to Bagel’s house)
ssj: I can’t believe it. I got fired.
Bagel: ssj, we couldn’t have kept that up forever.
ssj: No! You don’t understand! I founded this town, and now I’m headed to the Office Of Unemployment. It isn’t fair.
Bagel: I know it isn’t, but… you… you were a double agent, working for me. Of course Moxley would fire you.
ssj: She didn’t even fire me because of that! She fired me because of a moldy old strudel.
Bagel: Well… Moxley can be pretty overdramatic sometimes. Besides, it was played for laughs.
ssj: I know, but something seemed… off.
Bagel: Hmm. Well, you have a new job now!
ssj: Wait… I do?
Bagel: Yeah! You’re my new campaign manager! Brick, you’ve been demoted to “helper guy”.
Brick: YUSS!
(Brick pulls out a phone and calls somebody)
Brick: Hello?
(We cut to a squirrel eating a phone)
Brick: Honey! I got that promotion I was talking about!
(We cut back)
Bagel: Anyway, I have a very special mission for you on your first day.
ssj: What?
Bagel: We’re going to the Fiscal Cliff. Apparently they updated the rides so they actually meet the safety standards for real now. I told the media that I’d be there to check the rides to see if they really do meet the standard for publicity for my campaign, but I need you and Brick to shut down that 4D ride once and for all while everyone’s distracted.
ssj: Why?
Bagel: It’s brainwashing people into wanting to buy Yak. WE HAVE TO STOP THEM!
ssj: Okay, let’s do this!
(We Bagel at the Fiscal Cliff Amusement Park, surrounded by people from the media. Bagel has a creepy, overly detailed smile this whole time and is speaking in a slow, low-pitched voice)
Bagel: Ah, yes. As a candidate for mayor of SBMtopia this year, my number one concern is safety.
(Bagel looks at a rollercoaster)
Bagel: Ah, yes, quite safe.
(Bagel turns his back and faces the camera)
Bagel: Just doing my job.
(The rollercoaster collapses behind him)
Bagel: Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to purchase some ice cream for all of the little children.
(Bagel walks up to an ice cream cart and buys all of the SpongeBob ice creams and throws them up in the air into a crowd of young children)
Bagel: Eat, my children! Eat!
(The ice creams hit them on the head and they pass out, dropping like flies)
Bagel: Of course, I will save one for myself. Perhaps this one here.
(Bagel does a slow, creepy, forced laugh as he takes the wrapper off and very slowly raps his tongue around the ice cream)
Bagel: Ah, yes. ‘Tis good.
(Bagel talks really fast and loudly whispers into the ice cream)
Bagel: SSJ! BRICK! ANY PROGRESS?
(We cut to ssj and Brick on the 4D ride. ssj is holding a walkie-talkie)
ssj: Uh… good! We’re about to… uh… uh… oh no, I dropped the bomb and it rolled under someone’s seat! Bye! Don’t call again!
(ssj throws the walkie talkie back behind him)
Fred: (offscreen) MY LEG!
(We cut back to Bagel)
Bagel: (loudly whispering) OKAY! GOOD!
(Bagel goes back to talking with the creepy voice and smile)
Bagel: What?
News Anchor: Why were you talking to your ice cream?
Bagel: I… uh… I believe that all things in nature should be treated equally, and I was singing this natural, farm-grown dairy treat a lullaby.
Media People: Awwwwww.
(We cut back to Brick and ssj)
Brick: Okay, just one more ride and we blow it up!
ssj: Okay!
7 MINUTES LATER
Brick: Six isn’t enough!
ssj: Let’s go again!
7 MINUTES LATER
ssj: Okay, seriously, let’s do this.
Brick: IMMA FIRIN MAH LASER
(stock explosion)
News Anchor: WHAT WAS THAT?
Bagel: I do not know. (creepy laugh)
(The ride is completely destroyed and Brick and ssj are charred)
Brick: LET’S DO IT AGAIN!
(ssj rolls his eyes)
ssj: Yeah, explosions, death, let’s get charred, woo-hoo!
Bagel: OMIGAWD SSJ! ARE YOU OKAY?
ssj: Bagel, I’m fine. And even if I wasn’t, I would be in the next scene.
Bagel: Wait. Where’s Brick?
(We see a guy in a SpongeBob costume walking around, and then Brick jumps out of nowhere and tackles him)
Guy In Costume: HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY HELP ME!
Brick: I FINALLY HAVE YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU! YOU’VE ELUDED ME FOR YEARS, BUT NOW, THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! WHERE IS THE MONEY HIDDEN?
(Bagel and ssj run over)
Bagel: Brick, stop it.
Brick: YOU’LL THANK ME LATER!
(We cut to the news)
News Anchor: This just in, the recently added but already beloved Ronald McDonald experience ride at the Fiscal Cliff has just exploded in what most certainly must be a plot by Australian terrorists from communist space!
(We zoom out to see a dark, shadow figure sitting in a chair watching the news- the figure has its back turned to us so we can’t see who it is)
Mysterious Figure: There’s been numerous threats reported from that city. Someone, somewhere, is trying to take us down. They’re onto us.
(We see another dark mysterious figure)
Other Figure: What if they manage to warn everybody?
Mysterious Figure: Oh, they won’t. And if they do, that doesn’t matter, because we’re bringing this place down, one YAK at a time.
(The mysterious figure points to a map)
Mysterious Figure: SBMtopia, I’m coming for you.

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL HYPE
(We cut to Bagel and Brick arriving at the haunted house)
Bagel: Welp, here we are! And look, there’s our first guest, right in time!
(ssj materializes out of nothingness dressed as Santa Claus)
ssj: HO HO
(slow down X800000000)
ssj: (demonic voice) HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Actual Santa Claus: Ho Yay! I'm pregnant with your sons egg
Jimbles Notronbo: give me egg
(A giant c pops out of the sky)
C: ENTER THE FREAKING CANDY MOUNTAIN CAVE
ssj: I WANT MY KIDNEY
adult swim: kidney stones taste good
(Spongy shoots lasers at adult swim)
Spongy: I DONT LIKE BOBS BURGERS
 
NOTE: This episode is non-canon to the current story arc.

(We see the Bagel’s house from outside during a thunderstorm as rain pours down and forms a puddle on the ground that says “SPOOKY SCARY SBM SEND SHIVERS DOWN YOUR SPLEEN”. We then see Bagel and Brick inside Bagel’s house)
Brick: Ready?
Bagel: Yeah, I’m ready.
Brick: TIME TO TRICK OR TREAT
Bagel: Brick, we’re not going trick-or-treating.
Brick: TRICK OR TREAT TRICK OR TREAT
Bagel: Brick, Did you hear what I just said?
(Brick grabs Bagel by the scruff of his shirt)
Brick: (creepy voice and lighting) TRICK OR TRUCKING TREAT.
(Bagel and Brick leave Bagel’s house and walk through the city. Bagel has a really bad ghost costume, Brick is dressed up like a fairy princess)
Bagel: What are you dressed as?
Brick: Duh! The taco fairy!
Bagel: Never heard of it.
Brick: (gasps) YOUR PARENTS NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT THE TACO FAIRY? YOU MUST HAVE HAD SUCH A DEPRIVED CHILDHOOD!
Bagel: Right… anyway, we have to get to the old abandoned house by 8:00!
Brick: And why is that again?
Bagel: The halloween party we’re hosting!
Brick: Oh yeah! Remind me who we invited?
Bagel: Everybody in town! It’s gonna be the biggest party of the year! Well, everyone except for that kid.
Charlie Brown: I GOT A ROCK
(Somebody opens their door and throws a rock at Charlie Brown. It hits him in the head and sends flying into space where he crashes on the moon and explodes)
Bagel and Brick: (shudders and walks away)
(We cut to Bagel and Brick arriving at the haunted house)
Bagel: Welp, here we are! And look, there’s our first guest, right in time!
(ssj materializes out of nothingness dressed as Santa Claus)
ssj: HO HO
(slow down X800000000)
ssj: (demonic voice) HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Actual Santa Claus: Ho Yay! I'm pregnant with your sons egg
Jimbles Notronbo: give me egg
(A giant c pops out of the sky)
C: ENTER THE FREAKING CANDY MOUNTAIN CAVE
ssj: I WANT MY KIDNEY
adult swim: kidney stones taste good
(Spongy shoots lasers at adult swim)
Spongy: I DONT LIKE BOBS BURGERS
Bagel: ...right. WELL HAVE FUN IN THERE
(Bagel grabs ssj and throws him into the abandoned house)
ssj: WAIT WHAT’S FUN IN HERE
Brick: I TURNED IT INTO A PLAY ZONE
(The doors automatically lock themselves as ssj lands on a conveyer belt)
Brick: YOU’LL NEVER LEAVE
Jimbles: EGG EGG EGG EGG EGG
(Jimbles tries to break down the door with an axe and shatters into a million pieces when it touches it)
Shattered Jimbles: EGG
(We cut to ssj standing on the conveyer belt)
ssj: Okay, this isn’t scary at all so far…
(Fake zombie pops out)
ssj: Nothing scary yet…
(Fake bloody murderer with chainsaw pops out)
ssj: K, nothing here…
(Bagel’s costume on a stick pops out)
ssj: Seriously?
(Justin Bieber pops out)
JB: BABY BABY BABY OH
ssj: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
(ssj runs out screaming)
Random Person: GANARIC CHALD AMMATHUR HUMAR! FIERRRR!
(A cork flies out of nowhere at hits JB in the face, making him pass out and then explode into cereal)
REST IN PEACE PASTA
(We cut back to Bagel and Brick outside the haunted house)
Bagel: Look who else is here! Poseidon and Jerry!
Poseidon: Hi guys!
Brick: What are you dressed as, Poseidon?
Poseidon: Duh! An anthropomorphic kitchen sponge beaver samurai hybrid! Isn’t it obvious?
(beat)
Poseidon: YOU’RE A TERRIBLE PERSON! I DON’T LOOK THAT MUCH LIKE ONE! (runs away crying)
Brick: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(We slowly pan away from Brick as he gets down on his knees and screams up to the sky with dramatic music)
Bagel: Uh… Brick?
Brick: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
5 Minutes Later
Brick: o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Cha: Uh… Bagel? Can you come over here and help for a minute?
Bagel: Cha! Nice to see you here! Sure, what do you need?
Cha: OMLJ’s leg came off in the apple bobbing pit.
OMLJ: (offscreen) WHY ARE THERE SHARKS IN HERE?
Bagel: (yelling offscreen) EASY CLEANING!
(Bagel starts trying to fish OMLJ’s leg out of the apple bobbing pit)
Brick: NO CHEATING
(Brick pushes Bagel into the pit)
Bagel: Aw, thanks, Brick! Now I’m all wet! Wait a minute…
(Bagel looks down)
Bagel: Is there PAINT in here?
(Bagel looks over and sees BobSponge painted as an issue of Phonics Fun bobbing for apples)
BobSponge: LET IT ALL HANG OUT
(BobSponge falls in)
JakeFromStateFarm: THE MEDIFIED HOBO FOR SHARING
(JakeFromStateFarm jumps on BobSponge’s back and uses him as a surfboard)
BobSponge: I HATE YOU, PANTS
(BobSponge rips all of his clothes off)
E.V.I.L: CANNONBALL
(E.V.I.L jumps out of an airplane and lands in the pool, splashing water and sharks everywhere)
Miles: WAAAAAAAAH THERE’S A SHARK IN MY ICE CREAM
Bagel: o_0
(Bagel jumps out of the apple bobbing pit and runs back to the outside of the haunted house)
Bagel: Oh, hey Prez!
Prez: I HAVE COME TO DESTROY YOU
Bagel: You’re dressed like a fairy princess. Covered in chocolate.
(A glass bottle flies straight past Prez, nearly missing him)
Brick: (offscreen) WE CAN BE FRIENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDS
Bagel: Brick, are you drunk on paint?
Brick: (offscreen) NEINSENSE! I’M KINDA DIRTY THO SO I’M GONNA TURN THE SHOWER ON
BobSponge: (offscreen) OWWWWWWWWWWW!
Bagel: BRICK NO
(Bagel runs offscreen)
Prez: GIVE ME MOAR ATTENTION
(Bagel walks back over)
Bagel: YARRGH! I’M A BAD COSTUME! I’LL KILL YOU SO HARD YOU COME BACK TO LIFE!
Prez: (comically exaggerated) OHHHHHH, YIIIIIKES!
(Prez runs away with choppy animation and off-key ragtime piano)
Award: (with tag on the back of his head neck that says “This Is My Costume”) PREZ? YOU HAVE POWERS? HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING SECRETS FROM ME?
Prez: (black and white, German accent) Yuss.
(We see black and white footage of a cannon firing, and Award gets hit on the head with a coconut. Award and the coconut both catch on fire)
Award: PREZ ITS OK YOU CAN TELL ME
Spiderman: NO! YES! NO! YES! NO! THE PRESSURE! THE RESPONSIBILITY! MY LIFE IS TOO DIFFICULT EVEN THOUGH IT’S PERFECT!
Award: NOT YOU
Tracy Rigglesbee: A CHANGE IN STRATEGY
Random Voice From The Heavens: INSTANT REPLAY
(Award gets run over by a golf cart in slow motion, and we slowly zoom in on Prez driving the golf cart with a pair of glasses taped to his butt in black and white as off-key ragtime piano plays again)
Brick: ENOUGH WITH THE BUS
Drifter: WHEN I WAS A YOUNG’N
(Everybody runs away screaming)
Beano: Hey, Jerry!
(Jerry ignores Beano)
Beano: Jerry?
(Jerry ignores Beano again)
Beano: What did I do?
Jerry: YOU GAVE MY SISTER A LOOK! YOU’RE MAKING MY LIFE DIFFICULT! YOU’RE AN AWFUL PERSON THAT MAKES EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE TERRIBLE LOVE TRIANGLE SIDEPLOT LOVE STORY ZOMFG TRIANGLE SIDEPLOT ZOMG LOVEANGLE
(Beano slowly backs away, and then turns around and starts running)
Prez: (driving golf cart) Everybody thinks I’m so girly since I’m a fairy princess covered in chocolate… well, I’ll show them!
(Prez kidnaps Bagel)
Bagel: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH HELP
(Prez drives the golf cart into the haunted house)
Bagel: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Prez: I’M SHOWING YOU HOW BRAVE AND STRONG I AM SO YOU’LL STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!
(We see inside Prez’s brain, where he and Bagel are sitting on the conveyer belt. A ghost pops out. Bagel says something in Greek and then hugs Prez, cowering. Prez then replies with something else in Greek, and Bagel leans in to kiss Prez. Then, we cut to black, and zoom out to see Prez sitting in a movie theater)
Theater Employee: DARN! OUT OF TAPE! Well, here’s a movie with hamsters you should like.
(A movie with a live action hamster on a wheel comes on, and the thought bubble disappears)
Prez: BRING IT ON, HAUNTED HOUSE! BRING IT ON!
(A fake zombie pops out)
Bagel: Man, this stuff is fake, isn’t it Prez?
(Prez is cowering in fear)
Bagel: Geez… whatever I paid you to be in this episode, it wasn’t enough!
(A fake bloody chainsaw killer pops out)
Bloody Chainsaw Killer: Wait, BagelsinEurope? Is that you?
Prez: OH MY GOD HE’S REAL
Bagel: CHIMMY CHANGAS
(The part of the haunted house with the bloody chainsaw killer turns into a Vietnamese Restaurant)
Bloody Chainsaw Killer: YOSHI! YAMI! ALFREDO IS LEARNING TO POP AND BREAK!
(The bloody chainsaw killer jumps on a table and starts breakdancing)
Bloody Chainsaw Killer: NUMBER FYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYVE!
(The bloody chainsaw killer karate kicks a pizza box towards Bagel. It breaks the window, flies through the air and crushes Prez)
Prez: CURSE YOU ALL
(Prez becomes squished and starts bleeding milk)
Lisa Simpson: TIBET TOWN
(Lisa glitches out and then shoots the pizza box 5000 times in 10 seconds)
Bagel: (voice barely heard over rapid fire gun shots) FORTUNE COOKIES
Marge: EVERY HOUSE HAS A BATHROOM
Homer: THESE FORTUNES ARE TERRIBLE
Bagel: WE KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Mr. Burns: ME NO SPEEKY CHINEE
Homer: YEEHAW
lemurboy123: YEEHAW YOURSELF
(Homer gets flung across the room)
Mr. Burns: FEMALE FIRE STATION
Bart: CARUMBARBA
Lil Butler: WELL I ALWAYS
Bagel: OKAY GOODBYE EVERYONE
(Bagel presses a button and the conveyer belt speeds up crazy fast, making everybody fall into a lava pit)
Bagel: MWUUHUHUHUHU
(Texastoasthing magically appears as a ghost)
Bagel: OH MY GOD IT’S ME AS A GHOST
Texastoasthing: BAGALL LOOK AT YOURSELF ON OTHER WEBSITES
Bagel: YEAH I’M LISTENING
Texastoasthing: YOU HAVE A FREAKING BOB THE BUILDER AVATAR
Bagel: NO MOMMY I SIMPLY WON’T
(Alan the balloon shows up with a knife and stabs Texastoasthing as a single tear rolls down his cheek)
Texastoasthing: WAIT! YOU CAN’T STAB ME! I’M A GHOST!
Bagel: ALAN WILL KILL YOU 18 AND A HALF TIMES
Texastoasthing: I ALREADY HAVE BEEN KILLED 18 AND A HALF TIMES
Bagel: THEN HE’LL KILL YOU SO HARD YOU COME BACK TO LIFE
Alan: It’s okay. I understand.
(Light shines on Alan from the heavens)
Texastoasthing: okay that’s enough
(Texastoasthing pops Alan)
Bagel: (gasps) YOU MONSTER!
Texastoasthing: FACE ME LIKE A MAN!
THE FOLLOWING BATTLE BETWEEN BAGELSINEUROPE AND TEXASTOASTHING IS TOO GRAPHIC FOR VIEWERS YOUNG, OLD, AND SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN. WE’RE GONNA SKIP AHEAD TO LATER IN THE NIGHT, BUT LET ME JUST SAY, THE HAUNTED HOUSE IS NOW A LOT SCARIER. SO, 5 MINUTES LATER…
(Bagel stumbles out of the haunted house)
Bagel: POCKET FOXXXXXXXXXXXXX!
(Bagel passes out)
Brick: Are you okay?
Bagel: OH FRABJABULOUS JOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
(Brick hits Bagel in the head with a fire extinguisher)
Bagel: Thanks. That’s a lot better.
BobSponge: Where are all the presents?
Bagel: Presents?
BobSponge: Yeah! Don’t you get presents on Christmas?
Bagel: But it’s not Christmas!
BobSponge: It’s not?
Bagel: No, it’s-
(Popeye is walking by and he leans in)
Popeye: -National Gullibility Day!
BobSponge: Wow! How do you celebrate it?
Bagel: (catching on) By… uh… by telling the mailman all about it!
BobSponge: HAHA! I LOVE THIS HOLIDAY!
(BobSponge runs away laughing)
BobSponge: HAHA! HAHA! MAILMAN! MAILMAN! MAILMAN! HAHA!
Brick: Well, what now?
Bagel: It’s time for the last thing. Then we get out of here and get our cash.
Popeye: Wait, cash? Is there something you’re not telling us?
Bagel: (sweating) Uh… no.
Popeye: And what’s that under your shirt?
Bagel: (sweating) What do you mean my-
(Popeye takes a hidden camera out of Bagel’s shirt)
Popeye: How do you explain this?
Bagel: Uh…
(Brick whispers something in Bagel’s ear)
Bagel: Right. BOBSPONGE! I HAVE THE NEWEST ISSUE OF PHONICS FUN!
(A FOX Networks helicopter lands outside the haunted house. Bagel and Brick jump on the helicopter as SBMtopia citizens try to grab on)
Popeye: YOU WERE RECORDING THIS ENTIRE THING, WEREN’T YOU?
(Bagel throws an issue of Phonics Fun in the crowd)
BobSponge: PHONICSSSSS!
(BobSponge jumps into the crowd and goes on a crazy rampage, destroying the haunted house and killing several people)
Bagel: OH MY GOD! HE’S GOING INSANE!
Brick: It’s fine.
Bagel: HE DESTROYED HALF OF THE CITY!
Brick: I still think it’s fine.
Bagel: HE SET KFC ON FIRE
Brick: OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO STOP HIM
Bagel: I’M CALLING ANIMAL CONTROL! ARE YOU GETTING THIS?
Brick: YEAH! I’M RECORDING THIS WHOLE THING!
Bagel: GREAT! THE NETWORK IS GONNA PAY SO MUCH FOR THIS!
(BobSponge jumps up in the air and destroys the helicopter)
Bagel: PROTECT THE CAMERA!
(The helicopter crashes and explodes)
 
YES YES YES
2ND FAVORITE EPISODE
NOW GET READY FOR THE FINALE
BAGELS I'M GONNA POST A TRAILER FOR THE SEASON FINALE ON SUNDAY OK
DON'T DO IT ON YOUR OWN I WANNA EDIT IT
 
OH YEAH GUYS I FORGOT TO MENTION NEXT WEEK IS A PREMIERE WEEK HERES THE SCHEDULE

November 2: Uncle Bagel's Tacoriea
November 3: Legalize Everything
November 4: Take And Bake Pizza
November 5: They're Coming
November 6: Tidal Lagwave

THEN ON THE 13TH ONE MORE EP THEN SEASON FINALE TIEM
 
THE BEGINNING OF THE PREMIERE WEEK

(We see a dark red wall with scary music. Blood splatters on the wall and spells out “UNCLE BAGEL’S TACOREIA”. Then, the Grim Reaper shows up holding a sponge and wipes up the blood. The Grim Reaper gets hit on the head with a brick, and more blood splatters to spell “WRITTEN BY BRICKSPONGE2015 AND BAGELSINEUROPE”. Then, ssj tears the screen in half, and we see him, Bagel, and Brick in Bagel’s living room)
ssj: We need a gimmick of some kind. We need something that will draw in voters, and we need it fast.
Brick: OOO! OOO! I KNOW!
ssj: Brick, I’m slightly afraid to ask you what your idea is. But just go ahead, I guess.
Brick: TACOS!
(ssj facepalms)
Bagel: Wait! He might be on to something!
ssj: Like… what? It’s just the word tacos. No real “master plan” comes to mind when I hear you screaming about Mexican food.
Bagel: No! What if we had some thing where we sold tacos and got people addicted to them, but then gave them free tacos if they promised to vote for me?
ssj: Yeah! And if the free tacos don’t convince them, we could give them their money back!
Bagel: Brick, this might have been your smartest idea ever?
ssj: Well… not really… he just shouted the word “Tacos” and it inspired you.
(Brick sticks his hand into ssj’s flesh and rips out his heart as a thunderstorm starts outside)
Brick: (demented voice) ARE YOU QUESTIONING MY ABILITIES
(Brick puts it back, the storm ends, and Bagel and ssj just stare at him for a minute)
Brick: LET’S MAKE SOME TACOS!
(We cut to Popeye watching TV)
Popeye: There’s nothing good on… ooo, wait, I take that back! The local news!
News Anchor: We’ll be back right after this!
(On the TV, Bagel has a mustache and a sombrero with a giant smile on his face and is standing next to a stool. On the stool there is a white sack, a potted cactus, and an MP3 Player. We cut to the commercial)
Bagel: Hola Amigos! Are you-
(beat)
(Bagel pushes a button on the MP3 Player, and the music from the commercial in the SB episode As Seen On TV starts playing)
Bagel: Hola Amigos! Have you not yet found the perfect taco or were not satisfied with restaurants such as Taco Mime and Taco Hell?
Lawyer: Sir, those restaurant names are trademarked copyrights of their respective corporations and I’m afraid you are strictly prohibited from-
(Bagel pulls out a gun and shoots the lawyer in the face, smiling all the while as the lawyer falls offscreen)
Bagel: Sorry about that, amigos! But as I was saying, if you were not satisfied with those restaurants and you have given up all hope, look no further-
(The lawyer’s hand reaches up from the corner of the screen and grabs onto Bagel’s leg. Bagel shoots at the ground, still smiling)
Bagel: -because Uncle Bagel’s Tacoreia has it all!
(Bagel holds up the white sack)
Bagel: Also for the kiddies, you can get Uncle Bagel’s Manly Bag! Comes with your very own miniature cactus!
(The potted cactus flashes on the screen)
Random Low-Quality Recording Voice From The Heavens: GET ON MY LEVEL
(It stops flashing)
Bagel: So come on down to Uncle Bagel’s Tacoreia! “The only place where all of our food is definitely edible!”
(“*EDIBLE MEANS IT FLOATS IN HOT DOG WATER” flashes on the bottom of the screen and the commercial ends. We just see Popeye staring at the TV, terrified)
(beat)
(Popeye’s eyes catch on fire and he runs outside screaming at the top of his lungs)
Popeye: AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! THERE IS NO GAWD!
(Popeye gets hit by a green truck. We cut to the green truck parking at the end of the street. We see that the green truck is a food truck)
Bagel: Uncle Bagel’s Tacoreia, open for business!
Patrick: We’ll take twenty.
(beat)
(Patrick’s face fills the screen and quickly gets distorted as we hear impossibly loud dubstep)
Brick: THIS IS A MEDICAL DISORDER
(Ron Swanson drunkenly dances up to the taco stand)
Ron Swanson: GET OFF MY LAWN
Lego Spongy: DOUBLE THE TOPPINGS
Garfielf: LASAGA
1 SECOND LATER
(Everybody is surrounding the taco truck)
BobSponge: (dressed as Big Bird) CUT SOMETHIN ELSE OFF
puffy fluffy: i need to get my party on!
(Chris Morris creepily stares into the camera)
Jerry: TIME TO PLAY CONNECT THE FRECKLES!
(Bagel and ssj are ::dolphin noise:: behind the counter of the taco truck)
Bagel: What is wrong with these people?
ssj: I don’t know, but this isn’t working.
Bagel: LET’S BAIL!
(Bagel and ssj drive away)
Mr. Krabs: HEY! WHERE YOU GOIN’, BEAUTIFUL?
(Bagel and ssj jump out of the truck and it drives itself off a cliff)
Bagel: Well, I’m glad that’s over.
Brick: THIS IS A MEDICAL DISORDER
(Fire fills the screen)
Bagel: BRICK! WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE CAMERA?
Brick: SOYLENT OXI-CLEAN!
Bagel: (sigh)
(We cut to static, and then cut back to Bagel, Brick and ssj in Bagel’s living room)
ssj: Well… that didn’t work.
Bagel: Yeah, and the election’s coming up really soon! It’s only a few weeks away!
Brick: OOO! OOO! I HAVE AN IDEA!
ssj and Bagel: NO!
Brick: THIS IS A MEDICAL DISORDER
(Blood splatters on Bagel’s wall and forms the words “The End”)
Bagel: Where is that coming from?
 
Legalize Everything
Written by BrickSponge2015 and one of his real life friends
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2015- 2:27 AM
(We see Moxley sitting at her desk)
Moxley: What am I gonna do, kevin? What am I gonna do? The election is tonight!
kevin: I know, sir. I mean- okay, do we really have to do this every time?
Moxley: I already tried bribing him into giving up, but he just took the money and kept going. Isn’t that clever?
kevin: Yes. Clever.
Moxley: Wait! I’m still mayor now. That means I can do something to keep voters.
kevin: Like what? What positive thing could you do before 6:00 PM tonight when they announce it on the local news?
Moxley: Oh, there’s tons of things I could do. Legalize this, legalize that…
(Moxley freezes and we see a closeup on her face)
Moxley: Legalize everything.
kevin: What?
Moxley: LEGALIZE EVERYTHING!
kevin: ...I think that’s enough coffee for one day.
Moxley: LEGALIZE IT ALL!
(Moxley turns on some device and grabs a microphone)
Moxley: (on speakers) PEOPLE OF SBMTOPIA! THE LAW HAS BEEN CHANGED!
(We see people leaving their houses and looking at giant speakers on poles placed throughout the city, with Moxley’s voice coming out of them)
kevin: Seriously, Moxley, I don’t think this is-
Moxley: (on speakers) SHUT UP, KEVIN! EVERYTHING IS LEGALIZED!
kevin: Moxley, I seriously think you might regret this later.
Moxley: (on speakers) HEY EVERYONE! MY STUPID ASSISTANT KEVIN IS CHALLENGING ME! WELL, GUESS WHAT? YOU’RE FIRED! EVERYTHING IS LEGALIZED IN THIS CITY STARTING NOW!
kevin: Give me that!
Moxley: NO! IT’S MINE! NO!
kevin: GIVVVE IT!
Moxley: NO!
(kevin grabs the microphone)
kevin: (on speakers) DON’T LISTEN TO HER! SHE’S DRUNK ON COFFEE!
Moxley: (on speakers) KEVIN, STOP! I FIRED YOU!
kevin: (on speakers) THE LAW HAS NOT BEEN CHANGED!
Moxley: (on speakers) YES IT HAS! I HEREBY DECLARE THAT EVERYTHING IS LEGALIZED IN THE CITY OF SBMTOPIA STARTING RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!
(beat)
Moxley: (on speakers) Thank you for listening.
(beat)
Moxley: (on speakers) Oh… coffee…
(beat)
Moxley: (on speakers) THE COFFEE! IT’S SO GOOD!
(beat)
(Everybody starts attempting to kill each other, the sky becomes red, and several buildings set on fire. SpongeCob and Big Meaty Claws are fighting over a burrito)
SpongeCob: IT’S MY BURRITO! I SHOT IT FIRST!
Big Meaty Claws: SO DID I!
GriffBob: HAN SHOT FIRST!
(MMM is standing on the Drifter’s roof)
MMM: THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! I’M JUST THAT GUY SITTING THERE SCRATCHING HAS BACK, HUH? WELL, GUESS WHAT? NOW I’M GONNA SCRATCH YOURS TOO!
(MMM jumps off of the roof and starts gutting people with a chainsaw)
MMM: HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?
Drifter: GET OFF MY LAWN
(BobSponge throws a plate at the Drifter and he catches it)
Drifter: YOU WILL BE DOOMED TO FALL TRYING TO ESCAPE FRISBEE GOLF
(The Drifter throws the plate like a frisbee and it cuts Brick’s head off)
Brick: YOU FOOLS! THIS ISN’T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!
(Award is attempting to kill people with his powers)
Award: (creepy off-key singing) TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME! TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALL!
(Brick’s body kicks Brick’s head like a soccer ball and it hits Award, pinning him to the ground)
Brick’s head: Hey, Award. Do you like the Seahawks?
Award: I HATE THEM
Brick’s head: SEAHAWKS GO!
(An eagle flies out of nowhere and flies away with Award)
Award: MY POWERS! THEY’RE NOT WORKING!
Prez: MWAHAHAHAHAHA I NOW HAVE ALL THE POWER OF A BREAKFAST
Award: WHY AM I A BREAKFAST
Prez: I DON’T KNOW
(cwn teleports Award and Prez into GriffBob’s house. They are both braced for impact, but then look around)
Prez: Hey! This isn’t so bad!
(cwn teleports away. They both look down, and see that they are standing on a comic book)
Award: OH GOD THIS ISN’T GOOD
GriffBob: SUPER SANDWICH POWER
(Cha flings GriffBob across the landscape. He hits Prez and Award and then explodes)
Spongy: CHILI PEPPER POWDER PIPER PICKER PICKLES
(Spongy shoots laser eyes at a StateFarm helicopter. It explodes and Jake jumps out)
Jake: LIKE A BAD NEIGHBOR, HATEFARM WON’T CARE!
IAmBagel: YOU FOOLS! I HAVE THE COMBINED MIGHT OF A-
(IAmBagel gets squished by a giant ryanruff13)
ryanruff13: HOW DID THIS COME TO BE
Ling-Ling: Like this
(Ling-Ling falls upwards into space)
Popeye: YAY! I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE GETTING ABUSED
(Literally everybody stops what they’re doing and jumps on Popeye)
Bagel: SSJ! THIS IS OUR CHANCE TO GET OUT OF HERE WHILE EVERYBODY’S DISTRACTED!
ssj: OKAY!
(Bagel and ssj run towards town hall and pass a sad kevin on a bench. They then run back)
Bagel: kevin? Are you okay?
kevin: MOXLEY FIRED ME! AGAIN! That job was all I had!
(kevin starts sobbing)
ssj: She fired me too!
kevin: I know. I feel like she’s changed ever since the strudel incident. There’s been something different about her since then, and she’s going insane now because she actually is running against somebody for mayor.
Bagel: Well, do you know why I’m running against her?
kevin: No.
Bagel: It’s because me, ssj and Brick are the only ones that know that that new McDonald’s sandwich YAK is evil and that it’s a plan by NickFlower to destroy the city. Nobody believes us, so I’m running for mayor of the city so I can ban YAK after I get into office and save the city even though half the people living in it are oblivious jerks.
kevin: Wow. That’s deep.
Bagel: You don’t believe me, do you?
kevin: N-
(kevin thinks for a minute)
kevin: You know what? I can see why they don’t believe you, but even if it’s just to get revenge on Moxley, I’m in.
ssj: Great!
(Bagel, ssj, and kevin break down the door to Moxley’s office)
Bagel: YOU WON’T GET AWAY WITH THIS, MOXLEY!
(Moxley looks like she’s going insane)
Moxley: MWEEHEEHEEHEEHEE! IF THERE’S NO PEOPLE THERE’S NO VOTES AND IF THERE’S NO VOTES THERE’S NO ELECTION AND IF THERE’S NO ELECTION THERE’S NO LOSS, HAHAHAHA!
ssj: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
Moxley: YOU’RE TOO LATE! THEY’RE ALREADY KILLING EACH OTHER!
Bagel: I’M GONNA BEAT YOU AND CHANGE THE LAW BACK, MOXLEY!
Moxley: FOOL! NOBODY CAN VOTE FOR YOU, BECAUSE THEY’LL ALL BE DEAD! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Bagel: THAT’S TERRIBLE! AND BESIDES, THEY WON’T BE ABLE TO VOTE FOR YOU EITHER!
Moxley: I’LL VOTE FOR MYSELF!
Bagel: And these two will vote for me.
Moxley: KEVIN? WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME?
kevin: YOU JUST FIRED ME!
Moxley: (sigh) Okay. You win. You have discovered the ultimate flaw in my plan.
(Moxley grabs the microphone)
Moxley: (over speakers) PEOPLE OF SBMTOPIA! EVERYTHING IS LEGALIZED EXCEPT FOR MURDER! MY PLAN STILL WORKS! MWAHAHAHAHA!
Bagel: Okay, this is getting stupid.
ssj: Well, what should we do until it’s time for the results of the election?
Bagel: Hmm… I’m gonna take a nap.
(Bagel hits himself in the head with a shovel and we cut to black)

THE ELECTION WINNER WILL BE REVEALED TOMORROW
 
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