The SBM Show

I hope this show doesn't get cancelled. Yikes!
worried-man.jpg
 
i wanna be in but i dont know...AHA! i would be a super-hardcore gamer who likes to follow bagel on his adventures and stuff. btw, make me a bit annoying. plz.
 
Show is cancelled, rip in pepperoni

JK, new ep coming soon
 
Only 1 week away from the amazeballs special that will end the hiatus :)
After that the episodes get really plot-heavy so starting on September 18th you have to read them in order and come back to see the rest of the story

EPISODE DESCRIPTIONS
The Multiverse (Special)
8/28/15
Bagel, Popeye, Brick and Poseidon open a portal to a bunch of alternate universes and go dimension-hopping around. Meanwhile, an unlikely enemy attempts to kill Bagel.

Behind The Screens
9/4/15
In a very special episode celebrating BagelsinEurope's 1 year anniversary on this site, we get to take a look behind the scenes of the show. And by a look behind the scenes, we mean a look at Bagel going on some sort of talk show or something. It's so insane I can't even describe it.

Apocalyptic SBM Show
9/11/15
Prez goes on a killing spree. That's all I can spoil.

The Ronald McDonald Experience
9/18/15
Bagel, Brick, ssj and BobSponge go to "The Fiscal Cliff Amusement Park".

Super ssj Spy
9/25/15
ssj spies on Kevin and Moxley.
 
Episode 30 1/2:
Deal With The Devil

Popeye: Ugh, everyone is so annoying. I wish everyone died!
(Everyone dies, and we cut to Popeye in hell)
Popeye: That wasn't what I meant.
Satan: TOO LATE NOW ITS ETERNAL TORMENT TIME
Popeye: What if I gave you my credit card information?
Satan: Yeah, I could use one of these.
(Popeye gives Satan a credit card and everyone un-dies. We still see satan)
Satan: Wait a minute, this card EXPIRED 3 YEARS AGO!
(Satan starts screaming, running around, pulling his horns out, throwing sticks at people, randomly exploding, unzipping himself and bashing himself against the wall)
Guy from hell: Wow, he got his berserk button pressed.
Tv Tropes: YOU WIN
 
NEW EPISODE SPECIAL TWO WEEK WAIT IS OVER HYPE AAAAAAAAAAH

(A shadowed figure appears on the screen)
?: ...Where am I?
(He sees a box of Bagel, Poseidon, Brick and Popeye derpily walking)
?: No...I...That's supposed to be me...
(The figure's hand bangs on the box)
?: STOP! GET OUT OF THERE, YOU!
(The box floats away. The figure loses his balance for a second, but gets back up)
?: ...I'll track him down myself.
(He takes out a knife and grins. The scene cuts to 6 months and 1 week later where...)
THE SBM SHOW PRESENTS…
(We see Poseidon with headphones in her pores dancing to music while working on a portal)
Poseidon: STYLING, WHILE IN, LIVING IT UP IN THE CITY
THE MULTIVERSE
(Brick kicks down Poseidon's door)
Brick: I heard you singing Uptown Funk.
WRITTEN BY POSEIDON
Poseidon: Dude we live like a mile away, and besides, I'm trying to work on somethi-
(Bagel tries to kick down the door but due to there being nothing there he flips over and falls over on his face)
Bagel: MMmfff mfff mmff!
Poseidon: Dude you okay?
AND BRICKSPONGE2015
(Bagel stands back up and stretches)
Bagel: I heard you singing Uptown Funk and I wanna DANCE to it!
Poseidon: Um, could you guys do something different? I want you to be my guinea pigs for-
(BobSponge crashes through the wall)
BobSponge: I LOVE GUINEA PIGS! THEY'RE SO CU-
Poseidon: You're not in this episode, Bob. Go away.
(BobSponge whimpers and walks away)
Poseidon: Anyway, I want you guys to be my guinea pigs for my new matter transporter. If it works, it'll be revolutionary, able to transport anything anywhere. If not, then...
(Brick and Bagel jump up and down)
Brick: We wanna try it!
Bagel: Yeah, let's try it!
Poseidon: Okay, where do you guys wanna go?
Brick: Candy La-
(Bagel puts his hand over Brick's mouth)
Bagel: Surprise us!
Poseidon: Alright...
(Poseidon sets the coordinates. Suddenly Popeye stomps in.)
Popeye: What are you guys doing? What is all the ruckus?
Poseidon: I was about to test my matter transporter, which can transport you anywhere. You wanna join? The more the merrier.
Popeye: A-anywhere?
(Popeye imagines going to the Bahamas)
Popeye: Oh, do I!
Poseidon: Great, but you'll need these.
(Poseidon gives everyone a walkie talkie)
Popeye: What do we need these for?
Poseidon: In case we get seperated...
(The camera zooms in on Poseidon. Poseidon squints)
Poseidon: ...or worse.
(Thunder is heard in the background.
Poseidon: So shall we go?
(The group nods. Poseidon activates the transporter and they jump in. The area changes to an area with lots of boxes with different logos on them. The group falls out of a portal onto a box)
Poseidon: Oh no...
Bagel: What is this place?
Poseidon: The Multiverse.
(A box flies towards Brick)
Popeye: Brick, get down!
(Popeye tackles Brick and the box barely flies above them)
Popeye: Phew...
(Suddenly a box flies towards Popeye and hits him, sucking him into that universe)
Poseidon: POPEYE!
(Poseidon looks towards the others)
Poseidon: We gotta find him!
Bagel: Yeah, let's follow that box!
(Poseidon, Bagel and Brick run into the box, transporting them into another universe. The scene cuts to the universe Popeye is in)
Popeye: What is this, a title sequence?
(We see four black shadowy figures)
???: We… are the SBM Gems! We’ll always save the day! And if you think we can’t, we’ll always find a way! That's why the people of, this, world… believe in…
(Lights shine on the figures and they’re revealed)
Garnet!Popeye: Popeye,
Pearl!Poseidon: Poseidon,
Amethyst!Brick: And Brick,
Steven!Bagel: And Bagel!
Popeye: Oh my god. It's an alternate universe...with us as the Crystal Gems?
Garnet!Popeye: Who said that?
Steven!Bagel: Look, it's another Popeye!
(Steven!Bagel points to Popeye)
Pearl!Poseidon: But… that's impossible… There are no warps between universes...
Amethyst!Brick: Let's just kick his butt!
(The SBM Gems pull out their weapons)
Popeye: Guys, I swear, I'm innocent...
(Amethyst!Brick laughs)
Amethyst!Brick: I doubt that!
(Amethyst!Brick uses his whip to grab Popeye and pulls him towards the Gems)
Garnet!Popeye: Gems, don't hold back!
Poseidon: HEY! IF YOU WANT TO HURT MY FRIEND,
(Poseidon takes out his samurai sword)
Poseidon: You'll have to go through me first.
Pearl!Poseidon: Bring it!
(Pearl!Poseidon and Poseidon clash with a spear and sword while Popeye is getting beaten up by Garnet!Popeye. Amethyst!Brick is holding Brick's leg with a whip)
Brick: I can feel the blood flowing to my braaaain!
(Garnet!Popeye is about to finish Popeye when Steven!Bagel runs in front of him)
Steven!Bagel: No! Gem Popeye, stop!
(Steven!Bagel's stomach glows pink and he summons his shield. The other Gems run over and their jaws drop)
Steven!Bagel: You guys can't just attack anyone who you think is weird! I...I thought you learned that from Uncle Grandpa.
Poseidon: None of that was canon, bro.
UncleGrandpa!Drifter: BUT THIS IS
(UncleGrandpa!Drifter shoots Brick in the face)
Bagel: Oh my gosh, Brick! Are you okay?
Brick: (gives thumbs up with giant hole in face)
Pearl!Poseidon: Okay...what can we do to help you?
(Poseidon looks towards the sun)
Poseidon: We came out of there...so throw us towards the sun.
Popeye & Garnet!Popeye: ARE YOU CRAZY?!
Amethyst!Brick: I sure am!
(Amethyst!Brick grabs the SBM Show members and hurtles them into the sun)
Peridot: UUU NUU MAH BIGGER RED EYE
(The sun ripples and sucks them back into the multiverse on top of a universe box)
Peridot: (sighs in relief) Oh, wait, that wasn’t it.
Poseidon: Okay, now to find our universe.
Voice: I don't think so...
(The person steps out of the shadows, revealing himself to be… Bagel?)
Bagel?: You were the one who destroyed my purpose.
Poseidon: BAGEL?
(Bagel? points to Bagel)
Bagel?: YOU destroyed my LIFE! And now...
(Bagel? does an evil chuckle)
Bagel?: You're going to pay for it.
Bagel: (backing away) I… I don’t understand.
Bagel?: (another evil chuckle) Of course you don’t. YOU WEREN’T EVEN THERE.
(We cut to black)
(We fade in on the beginning of Time Traveling Mess)
Drifter: I feared this day would come.
Vladimir Putin (in Russian): I HAVE COME TO STEAL YOUR MAYONNAISE!
Bagel: BOARD THE STORM PORTS!
(A bunch of cannons are set out)
Bagel: FIRE!
Cannon: IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZER BWAAAAAAAAA
(The burger explodes into a giant beacon)
Bagel: THE BACON!
(A bunch of bacon strips fall from the sky)
BobSponge: MY DREAM HAS COME TRUE
Bagel?: (not seen, but voice heard above everything) I WAS THE ONE WHO FOUGHT VLADIMIR PUTIN.
Bagel: (voice heard above everything, out of sync with what’s being seen) I don’t remember that.
(Award and cwn randomly appear on Bagel's head)
Bagel: WHERE THE HECK DID YOU COME FROM?!
cwn: NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. THE MAGNETS ARE SUCKING US IN!
Bagel: WHAT?!
(We cut ahead)
Bagel: Great! Everything's back to normal!
SpongeCob: Wait, where's Brick?
(We cut to a Subway)
Brick: VERIZON/CHIPOTLE/EXXON
(Brick suddenly gets ejected out of the Subway into the sky)
Brick: WHERE'S MY SANDWICH?
(A sandwich flies up to him)
Bagel: But Brick was in the sky with a Subway sandwich before, so does that mean-
(A giant burger comes flying out of the sky)
Drifter: I feared this day would come.
Vladimir Putin (in Russian): I HAVE COME TO STEAL YOUR MAYONNAISE!
Bagel: BOARD THE STORM PORTS!
(The episode suddenly pauses, and RL Bagel walks by)
RL Bagel: For your convenience, I'm gonna stop that episode here so you don't have to read an endless episode. But for continuity purposes, this episode never ends. It just repeats over and over. I hope you have enjoyed this episode. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
Bagel?: HE SAVED YOU, BUT HE LEFT ME BEHIND, INFINITELY LOOPING FOREVER. MY ONLY PURPOSE WAS TO LOOP AGAIN AND AGAIN, REPEATING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN. BUT IN AN ALTERNATE TIMELINE, YOU WERE STILL THERE.
(We see a ton of random clips from SBM Show Season 2 episodes)
Bagel?: YOU WENT ON ADVENTURES AND ACTUALLY WENT PLACES WHILE I STAYED THERE, LOOPING FOREVER WITH NO PURPOSE. I BECAME TimeLoop!Bagel INSTEAD OF Normal!Bagel. AND I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW.
(We cut to black)
TimeLoop!Bagel: BUT THEN…
(We see a clip from the Kingdumb episode yrevileD azziP)
(The princess and the king fall through a black void of nothingness for a few seconds)
Princess: Wait, where are we?
King: I don’t know.
(They look down and see SBMtopia from above, with a giant burger attacking the city)
TimeLoop!Vladimir Putin (in Russian): I HAVE COME TO STEAL YOUR MAYONNAISE!
TimeLoop!Bagel: BOARD THE STORM PORTS!
(A bunch of cannons are set out)
TimeLoop!Bagel: FIRE!
TimeLoop!Bagel: (Voice heard above everything, out of sync) IT STOPPED.
TimeLoop!Bagel: QUICK! HOP ON THE FLOATING LAMP!
(TimeLoop!SpongeCob hops on and the lamp floats away)
TimeLoop!Award: NOEP
(The floating lamp explodes)
TimeLoop!SpongeCob: ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?
TimeLoop!Bagel: AWARD, WHAT THE HECK, MAN?
TimeLoop!SpongeCob: WAIT! BRICK IS HOLDING A SUBWAY SANDWICH!
(TimeLoop!SpongeCob grabs the sandwich from TimeLoop!Brick floating in the air)
TimeLoop!Bagel: WHAT THE :dolphin noise: ARE YOU DOING!?
TimeLoop!SpongeCob: THE PORTAL HAS OPENED!
(TimeLoop!Award and TimeLoop!cwn randomly appear on TimeLoop!Bagel's head)
TimeLoop!Bagel: WHERE THE HECK DID YOU COME FROM?!
TimeLoop!cwn: NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. THE MAGNETS ARE SUCKING US IN!
TimeLoop!Bagel: WHAT?!
(TimeLoop!Bagel, TimeLoop!SpongeCob, TimeLoop!cwn and TimeLoop!Award all fly towards a portal, but then the king and princess get sucked in, the portal disappears, and the four SBM Show characters start falling, crash on the ground behind where the portal was, and explode)
TimeLoop!BobSponge: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ooo, bacon!
(TimeLoop!BobSponge rips off part of TimeLoop!Bagel’s charred corpse and eats it)
TimeLoop!BobSponge: (chewing)
TimeLoop!Bagel: AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! I’M ALIVE! BOBSPONGE, STOP!
TimeLoop!BobSponge: Sorry.
TimeLoop!Bagel: So… what now?
(We cut back to TimeLoop!Bagel and Bagel in the multiverse)
TimeLoop!Bagel: The king removed all of my purpose by stopping the loop.
Bagel: (scared) And… and that’s a good thing, right? Now you’re free!
TimeLoop!Bagel: You don’t understand. That loop was the only reason I existed. I wasn’t the real Bagel. I was just a substitute while you continued to live your life. And now, you’re going to die.
(TimeLoop!Bagel takes out a knife and charges towards Bagel)
Poseidon: Not if I can help it!
(Poseidon takes out his sword and knocks TimeLoop!Bagel off the universe box)
Poseidon: That was easy.
(TimeLoop!Bagel grabs onto Bagel's legs)
TimeLoop!Bagel: You're right.
(TimeLoop!Bagel pulls Bagel into the universe box with him)
Brick: BAGEEEEL!
Popeye: Forget it, I'm not saving him.
Brick: Pleeeeeease? I'll give you my chips!
(Brick holds up his bag of potato chips)
Popeye: Fine.
(The three jump into the universe box. The camera zooms out to reveal a logo that reads "Kingdumb”. Meanwhile in the portal to the universe...)
(Brick eats his chips)
Brick: We're coming for you, Bagel!
(The chips fly out of the warp)
Brick: Uh oh.
(TimeLoop!Bagel is holding Bagel by the chest)
TimeLoop!Bagel: Come on, stay awhile..
(Bagel breaks free)
Bagel: NEVER!
(Bagel sticks his head out of the warp. Brick's potato chips hit him in the face)
Bagel: Okay, not coming out of there again.
(Bagel and TimeLoop!Bagel patiently wait for the warp to end. This time they fall out of the sky and land on top of the castle)
TimeLoop!Bagel: Since I am kind, I will give you one last fight. If you don't accept I will simply kill you. What do you say?
Bagel: I accept. I mean, it's not like I have much of a choice anyway...
(The two fight on the rooftop when the Princess comes in)
Princess: Oh, great, you're back. And now there's two of you? Uggggggggh.
(The king and knight walk in)
King: Guards!
Knight: We don't have any guards.
King: DO AS I SAY!
(The knight and princess shrug and start fake dance-fighting over to Bagel and TimeLoop)
Bagel: Uh, me, we gotta work together!
TimeLoop!Bagel: Pssh, yeah right.
(TimeLoop!Bagel grabs Bagel and throws him at the knight and princess, knocking them down)
TimeLoop!Bagel: STRIKE!
King: I love bowling!
(We cut to the king in a bowling alley)
King: IMMA HIT ALL THE PINS
(The king throws the bowling ball through the air. It hits the roof and the bowling alley collapses around him)
Random People: (screaming)
(We cut back)
TimeLoop!Bagel: Now, King, to finish you...
(TimeLoop!Bagel takes out his knife)
King: Can we finish bowling?
(Brick falls out of the sky and onto TimeLoop)
Poseidon: You won't be finishing anyone on my watch!
Popeye: After this, do we get to go to the Bahamas?
Poseidon: Sure, whatever, just help Bagel!
Brick: Which one?
Poseidon: Which do you think?
Brick: TimeLoop?
(Brick gets up and allows TimeLoop to escape)
(Poseidon facepalms)
Poseidon: Normal Bagel!
Brick: OH! That makes more sense.
(Brick pulls Bagel out of the pile of "guards")
Brick: Hey, buddy, you okay?
Bagel: Everything hurts and I'm dying, but sure, I guess.
(Bagel looks down)
Bagel: But...this is my fight. Not yours. I have to sacrifice myself.
Brick: Bagel, no!
(Bagel charges towards TimeLoop!Bagel)
Bagel: Guys, you gotta go, now!
(Brick starts to tear up)
Brick: (screaming) BAGEL, PLEASE!
(Popeye grabs Brick)
Popeye: Brick...we have to go..
(Poseidon throws Bagel his sword)
Poseidon: You'll need this.
(The three jump into the sky. The sky ripples and sends them back to the multiverse)
Brick: I-I can't believe he's gone...
(Brick grabs Popeye's sleeve and blows his nose into it)
Popeye: Oh, gross!
(Brick grabs a tissue out of Popeye's pocket and blows his nose)
Popeye: Okay, seriously?
(Brick clings to Popeye's leg, crying)
Poseidon: Don't fight it, just let him be...
(Meanwhile, back in the Kingdumb universe...)
Bagel: I'm ready to fight you.
TimeLoop!Bagel: How can you fight me...
(TimeLoop!Bagel grins)
TimeLoop!Bagel: When I know all of your moves?
(Bagel stares in horror)
TimeLoop!Bagel: Think about it; we're the same person. Imagine how much damage you'd cause to the timeline if you killed me.
(TimeLoop!Bagel stabs Bagel in the stomach)
TimeLoop!Bagel: But all I want is revenge.
(The princess watches Bagel collapse to the ground)
Princess: I'll get the reality warping ambulance!
(The princess runs inside the castle)
TimeLoop!Bagel: And now for my revenge against you, King...
Knight: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!
(The knight runs towards TimeLoop!Bagel, but he shoves the knight aside)
TimeLoop!Bagel: I shall.
(The king takes out a bowling ball and hits TimeLoop!Bagel over the head with it. TimeLoop!Bagel groans in pain)
TimeLoop!Bagel: That's not gonna stop me...
Bagel: (weakly) Hoe, don't do it...
(TimeLoop!Bagel stabs the king)
Bagel: Oh my god...
(The reality-warping ambulance arrives. Bagel crawls toward it)
Bagel: King, please wake up...
TimeLoop!Bagel: You're not going anywhere!
(Bagel grabs the king, manages to stand up and jumps)
TimeLoop!Bagel: Pfft. No way he's gonna make it.
(Bagel clings onto the ambulance while still holding the King. The reality-warping ambulance glows and teleports to the Multiverse)
TimeLoop!Bagel: Ugh...well, I know where they went...and I'm going there too.
(TimeLoop!Bagel jumps into the sky. Meanwhile back in the Multiverse...)
Popeye: I...I wish I hadn't been so hard on him. I wish I could go back and do it over again...
Bagel: Really?
Popeye: Yeah. Wait...
(Bagel jumps off the reality-warping ambulance as it brings the king back to Kingdumb)
King: I SHALL RULE MY KINGDOOOOOOOOOM!
(Brick picks up Bagel and hugs him)
Brick: BAGEL, I THOUGHT I HAD LOST YOU! DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT, MAN!
(Bagel smiles)
Bagel: I'll try not to.
Brick: Wait, how are you not, like, dead?
Bagel: The ambulance healed me. Cool, huh?
Poseidon: Guys, look!
(Poseidon points to a universe box that reads The SBM Show)
Poseidon: We can go home!
(TimeLoop!Bagel appears on top of the box)
TimeLoop!Bagel: But what if your home is never the same??
(TimeLoop!Bagel stabs the universe box with a knife. It sucks in everything in the Multiverse, including the SBMers. Back at SBMtopia...)
Brick: At least we're back...
(The Drifter is floating by his house)
The Drifter: Your cows will have nothing but acid rain!
(Versions of Bagel and Brick dressed up as Dipper and Mabel float around)
Dipper!Bagel: This isn't in the journal...
Mabel!Brick: Lighten up and just have fun, bro bro!
(Stan!Popeye floats towards them with his arms crossed)
Stan!Popeye: I hate this.
(In the anti-gravity OMLJ smashes into a building)
OMLJ: MY LEG!
IAmBagel: Good thing the status quo exists at a time like this.
(TimeLoop!Bagel floats towards Bagel)
Bagel: ....especially at a time like this.
THE END

SNEAK PEEK:
Billy Mays: THANK YOU AUDIENCE NOW FOR OUR NEXT GUEST BAGEL
(PurplePosersSocksDude falls into a trapdoor and Bagel walks in)
Bagel: YOUR DEAD PERIOD ARRIVED TEACHER
(Some guy in the audience throws a can at Bagel)
Bagel: VERY FUNNY JAMES
James: HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME YOU STALKER
(James runs away crying)
Billy Mays: THAT WAS FUNNY NOW TELL US YOUR STORY
 
To celebrate 1 year of Bagel (I'm just so full of myself, aren't i?)

(We see Bagel drinking tea on a couch in a frog's mouth, with a radio next to him, playing "The Brothers Cup")
Bagel: WHY HELLO LITTLE KIDDIES
(A mailman runs away screaming)
Mailman: TAKE THIS MAIL YOUR HOUSE IS SCARING ME
(Bagel picks up a letter)
Bagel: Hmm...It's from Billy Mays!
(Bagel opens it)
Bagel (reading): Dear Bagel,
You have been invited to go on Billy Mays' So Late-To-Where-It's-Early-Talk Show! Today, September 4, 2015 is your 1 year anniversary in SBMtopia so we figured you'd have an interesting story.
Bagel: That's c-
(20th Century Fox logo starts abruptly playing)

EPISODE 31A
BEHIND THE SCREENS
WRITTEN BY BAGELSINEUROPE
IDEA BY BRICKSPONGE2015
FEATURING BAGEL, BILLY MAYS AND PURPLEPOSERSSOCKSDUDE
SPECIAL THANKS TO SHREK AND THE BEE FROM HONEY NUT CHEERIOS
CAPS LOCK
LETS JUST START THE EPISODE ALREADY

(We open to Patrick pooping)
Patrick: WRONG TV CHANNEL
(We cut to Billy Mays' So Late-To-Where-It's-Early-Talk Show)
PurplePosersSocksDude: ...and you know, I really don't have any interest in clapping sandwiches.
Billy Mays: THANK YOU AUDIENCE NOW FOR OUR NEXT GUEST BAGEL
(PurplePosersSocksDude falls into a trapdoor and Bagel walks in)
Bagel: YOUR DEAD PERIOD ARRIVED TEACHER
(Some guy in the audience throws a can at Bagel)
Bagel: VERY FUNNY JAMES
James: HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME YOU STALKER
(James runs away crying)
Billy Mays: THAT WAS FUNNY NOW TELL US YOUR STORY
Bagel: Well, Einstein's Theory of Sweg proved that if you join a website, you're a part of it, so technically you're inside the internet. With that sudden realization after I joined, I was sucked into SBMtopia and never saw any of my friends or family ever again. They thought I died.
(silence)
Guy in the audience: THIS IS DERPESSING
Billy Mays: THAT WAS INTERESTING NOW FOR OUR NEXT GUEST NOBODY THANK YOU FOR COMING
Bagel: Wait, that's it? No musical guest or anything?
Billy Mays: NO, THANK YOU MISTER
Bagel: That didn't answer my questio-
Anthony Kiedis: ARE WE LATE?
Hillel Slovak: YES DRUGS.COM IS A WEBSITE I STILL EXIST
Flea: WOO HOMOPHOBES SUCK
Anthony Kiedis: I WANT TO PARTY ON YOUR ::dolphin noise:: BABY, I WANT TO PARTY ON YOUR PUSSAY! COME ON SING WITH ME
(The audience just looks at Anthony with a disturbed face)
Guy: GOOD GOD
(Chad Smith shoots the guy)
Chad: I'M BETTER THAN YOU WILL FERELL
Bagel: ONE YEAR OF SERVICE
Billy Mays: WHY THAT WAS A GREAT SONG GIVE IT UP FOR THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS
Anthony Kiedis: SOMEBODY KICK A HOLE IN THE SKY
(The band rides a pony out of the building but then crashes into another and dies)
Robin: I AM A MULTIPLE TRICK PONY
Billy Mays: AND THATS OUR SHOW FOR TONIGHT PEOPLE
Bagel: I SUPPORT THE TROOPS 9/4/14 NEVER FORGET
(Bagel dies)
Plankton: I HAVE FOUND THE SECRET KRABBY PATTY FORMULA! IT IS-
(20th century fox logo)

Sneek 'O' Preaking:

Singers: I’M SO FANCY YOU ALREADY KNOW
(Earth explodes)
BobSponge: DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(BobSponge says DUH over and over to the tune of the “countdown” thing from KKTV)
Prez: I CAN’T STAND THE NOISE
(Prez shoots everyone)
 
You ever wondered what would happen if we took every character's personality up to eleven? Well, here's your answer. The project "Apocalyptic SBM Show" is now revealed to the public.

SBM Sho- HEY, WAIT! WHY DO YOU CARE? YOU’LL JUST CALL IT “THAT ONE WHERE BLAH BLAH BLAH HAPPENS”!
WRITTEN BY BRICKSPONGE2015! WHAT A SURPRISE! OH MY GOSH, IT’S BRICKSPONGE2015! HE NEVER WRITES EPISODES OF THIS SHOW! CAN’T A GUY GET A LITTLE RESPECT AROUND HERE? GEEZ, CAN’T YOU HEAR? W-R-I-T-T-E-N-B-Y-B-R-I-C-K-S-P-O-N-G-E-2-0-1-5! MY GOD! GET OFF MY LAWN!
(The music from the SpongeBob Cereal Commercial is playing as we see a shot of Bagel’s house from the outside)
Bagel: TODAY SEEMS LIKE A NICE DAY TO GO OUTSIDE
(Bagel slowly opens his front door)
ssj: YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR OPEN DOOR TOO FAST
Bagel: I DIDN’T DO IT
Unknown Player JOINED THE GAME
Brick: hehehehehehehe I AM CRACK MASTER
Bagel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Brick: NIGHTY NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
Prez: BLOODY SLASH KILL
Brick: IT’S THE TELEMARKETERRRRRRRRRRRS
(Brick swings his axe into the side of Bagel’s house)
E.V.I.L: CAN I HAVE MY NUTELLA NOW
Bagel: (incredibly loud and distorted) NO
Popeye: BAGEL GET THE ::dolphin noise:: OFF MY LAWN YOU LITTLE ::dolphin noise:: DIPPING ::dolphin noise:: HAM-COATED (G Major and upside down video)MIDGET
E.V.I.L: HOW ABOUT NOW
(Prez and Bagel both shoot E.V.I.L in the face)
BobSponge: I’M A FREAKING VEGETABLE
(We see a shot of Earth from space. A ton of missiles come out of where Russia is and fly to SBMtopia in a matter of 2 seconds, killing Popeye 18 and a half times)
MMM: THAT’S WHAT YOU GET (itches shoulder over and over at 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 MPH and then catches on fire, falls over, and explodes)
Moxley: I’M AM QUEEN I’M PERFECT YES HELLO
Singers: I’M SO FANCY YOU ALREADY KNOW
(Earth explodes)
BobSponge: DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(BobSponge says DUH over and over to the tune of the “countdown” thing from KKTV)
Prez: I CAN’T STAND THE NOISE
(Prez shoots everyone)
Popeye: OW
Prez: SORRY
(Prez shoots Popeye an extra five times)
Moxley: YOU DON’T HAVE THE AUTHORITY
Brick: HAAAAAAAAAATS
(BobSponge farts)
Everyone: FART HUMOR
(BobSponge gets launched off into space and crashes on the moon. The moon gets shot by 50000000 missiles, then gets sucked into a black hole, and then gets killed 18 and a half times)
Brick: TOO MUCH WATER I GUESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
(Brick’s voice gets more and more high pitched as he floats off into space)
Popeye: SPEAK UP SON (dies)

Brick: Ã̔ͯ̑̾͒͏̷̶͔͇̟̯͝͡ͅȓ͋͂ͧ͐̌͒̿̌ͤ͊́̑ͮ͏̸̤̪̟͍̠̮͈̣̘̥̼̩̜͍͕̦̘͢͢͝ͅĕ̵̛̳͙̪̰̺̦̼̜̯ͣ̿̀͐ͯ̈́̐̈͢ ̷ͯͪ͛ͦ̈́̅ͩ͛ͣ͂̕͏̯̰͓͇͕̠̳͢͠ỵ͖̭̺̭͓̫͇̯͓͋̀ͯͯ͂̐ͨ͆̒̍̑͑̀ͅo̷ͮͮ̏͊ͫ̅̉̄̓ͯͯͧ̅̅̀͊̚͝͏̸̶̖̦͙̮̪̭͈̱̩̻̪̩̤ü̶̢̢̨͍̫͉͍͙̤̦̫̘̐͆̈̅ͨ̈́̿ͯ̌̈ͮͫ̽̌͑̎̇ͫ͢ ̢͍̞͎̱̖̜̠͖͔̫̦̠̀ͧ̐ͯ͗͐̽̽ͯ̾̓̈́̌̅̒̋ͥ́̀͘ŗ̷̴̟̣̬̼͈̝̫̥̭̦͇̭̭ͩ͆͒ͦ̈̀͡e̾ͩ̌̌ͪͪ͂̒͜҉̡̘̜͚̳̥̲̞̙̙̥͎̭͇̠͈̩̩͘á̸̧̖̺͕̬̼̫̹̩̭͔̞ͧ̄͋͞ḓ̷̳͓͉͔͚̺̳̫̲̱̩̣̲̖͎̙ͯ̒͊ͣ̌̽͗̉͑̐ͭ̈̊͠͝y̭͚͚͇̮̻͉̘̘͊ͫ̓̋̎̐̅̓ͧ̿́͜ ͐̇̍ͬ̓ͮ̍͏̙̝̪̱͎̟̻͓͚̤͟k̡̭̫̥͉̣̭͌ͩͬ͋ͨ̅̅ͭ͆͒̿ͪ̒ͫ̑̓ͧ͆̚͜i̴̡̗̙̼͍̖̮͍̹̟͓ͬͬ́̆̆͆ͩ̆͂͗̃͝d̵̵̡͍͉͕̻̘̪͇̩̳̠̤̳̺̱̦̎̈ͦ͛̿̓ͨ̾ͮ̏ͅs̓͒ͮ͢͟҉҉̪̟͉͍͕͔͖̙͈͉̺͈̥̮̜̩̦ ̡ͤ̄ͮͩ̑̈́̊ͤ̂̃͏̛̳̠̱̪̖̤͈̱̬͍̻͖̺̤͖̼"̞̦͕̣͚̪̬̼̪̬͍̘̭̥̲̹͌̓̽̽̃ͫ̌̑ͩͨ͆̿ͥ̃̊̋͑̅̾͟͝ͅA̢̡̢̖̗͉̠̲̣̺̼̫̦̦̥̖͖ͨ̑̽̓ͭ̂̅̓̆̎̉ͬ́͘ỹ̴̧̩̱͖͕̖̟͔͈̖̒̈́͗̅̉͂̈͛̑ͅe̵̹̙͉̩̪̖̝̟̻̲̬̤̭ͩͫ̈́̾ͭͫ͑̋ͥ͜͝͝ͅͅ ͙̭͚̲̫̩̖͙̮̠̟ͣ͆͆̈ͧ̓͐ͥ̋̈́ͩͮ̎̐͜͠ͅͅA̶̧̯̺͚̮̗̱͂̾ͬ͑͟y̟̗͇̗̞̟͔̹̱͊̎͐͐ͦ͜͠ȅ̸͙͇̯̙̰̰͈̺͈͑ͥ̋̿̔ͫͨ̀̔̊̎̋̐͗͂͘ ̵̸̡̛̗̟̟͖͇̣̠̦̩̣̹ͣ͛̃̚C̛̭̺͖̤̳̭͍̯̊̒̈́͘͞ͅͅä̶̢̤̟̗̫̦̝͚̤̙͔̦ͯ̑ͨ͑̇ͭ̀ͅp̡̙͈͎̞͍͎̬̼̺̲̫̩̼̲͔ͪ̿ͦͦ͊ͫ̓ͭ͌͝t̶̢͔̥̤̟̭͓̣̀̑͆ͩ̏̍ͪͫ̂̽͋̽̏͗͑ͪͩ͟a̷̢̳̩̘̜̞̱̬͍̟̙̺̺̹̬ͬ̄͌͊͆̑̈̄͒͗͌ͤ͌̾̒͋i̡̛ͬ̓ͬ̓̅͒͏̴̫̦̠͕͈̝͉̘̮̝͔̟̬̭͕͍̖͝n̷̢̻̹̟̲̗͈͚̜̙͕̗̪̻̩̻͉̞̬̉̄ͫͫ͌̀̾̓͠"̴̈́̋̉͐̐̕͡҉̯̜̜̞̰

̙̖̞̲̇̇͆ͩ̀̕͘͡͝Ŏ̾̓͑͒͌͛̀͐̾̈ͦͩ̌͗͏̳̹͈ͅh̆̿ͦ͛ͤ̂̀̇̊ͭͣͨ̓̔ͨͭ̒̚͞҉̡̫̦̦͓̤̠͈̻̠͠h̄ͯͭ̅ͮ̏̇̏̈́ͧ̐͗͒͏̵̖͍͍̞͉͓̯͚̲̤͓.̨̨ͫ̇̑̔̌͛͌͌͆ͬ̆҉̱͔̯̬͚̺̩͕̦̯̳͘.̶̨̬̣̯͖̼̗͈̯̥̠͍̰̯͗̇̒ͬ̂̇͢.̡̨̲̞̞̟̱̪̍ͣ̉ͨͨ͒͐̔̌͗ͤͬ̂͛͐̄͋͂̌́

̛̹̹̯̘̤̭̥̬̠̲̘̳̠̻͍̫̗́͐̊̌̋̀͟͟"̵̺̟̮͉̖̙̞̝͖̖̤ͤͤ̎̆ͪ́͢Ș̴̶̢͉͎̗̲̞͈̯͎̲̱̪̰̮̟͉̜̥̀̌́̒̈́̅̉͡͞p̧̼̩̩̫̳̓̄̈́̿ͬ̏ͪ͆͗͠ô̭͍̙͕̝̯͍̪̟̼̞̼̒͒̽̓̏͒̅͆ͮͤ͗͛ͦ͋̏͜͟n̛̮̞͔̝̝̲̩̰̙͍̩̝̜̠̺͇͗̈́ͣ̑̕͞g̶̛͉̙̹̳̗̬͕͚̭̩̘̭̤͚̫̯̜̪̫̎̑ͩͧ̂̎̆͂̐́̑ͮ͊̕e̡͇̖͈̤̬̬̼͚̰̝͎͎̖̠̾͒̌̑ͤͤͯ͊͛̓ͧ̉͒ͫͅb̢̳̠̠̞̎ͦͭ̀o̍͊ͩ̃̒ͫ͏̢̛̫̟̥̙̹͈̤̼͘͡b̨̨̩̩̩͕̦̟̫̥͓ͬ̽ͣ̌͘ ̧̝̜̗ͬͥ̏̂̀̊̊ͨ̈̈́̈́̔̄̄̐ͯ͒ͤ̔͡͞S̛̩͔̗̘̫̥͕̩̰̣͉̬͉̬͐̉ͭ͌͒̃͗̏͌ͣ̅͐ͥ͛ͪ͐̚͘͞ͅͅq̸ͩ̊̇̆͒ͬ̚͏̯̠̱̱̱͈͙͙̗̞̳͍̘̀̕ͅu̡̫̳̺̦̲̺͓͇̻̪͕̖̪͕̪̖͛ͩ̅ͬ̋́͢a̷͓͕̰̪̖͙̰̱͇ͯͩ́̇ͥͬ͊ͥͧͣ̾̀̚͢͜͟r͇̣͇̺̘͖̣̣͔̘̭̠ͩͨͪͨ̊̒́̚͘͡ͅͅeͩͦ̊̈́ͬ͏̶͉̗̼͘͢p̮͖͖͈͓̠͎̈̓ͭ̊̄͒ͬ̾ͬ̿̚͘͢͟͡ą̶̲͍͚͚̻̦̖͓̮̯͕̝ͪͪ͛̂̆̿̅͑̋̌ͭ̊̑͡ͅͅñ̳͇̭͈͚̱̜̻̠̟͖ͨ͐̈́ͩ̎̒͛ͩ̀́͘͠ͅt̨̨̞͓̝̘̪͉̗̤̻̆ͧ͌̃̿̐ͯ͋̋̕s̶̵̢̙̱̮̪̙͚̫͍̠͇͚̜̩͈͈̤̳͎̃ͥͤͤͣ͆̐̍͌͗ͤ͐͘͠"̷̢̨̠̦͔̠͕̮̰̟̤̏̅͆ͮ̅ͤͦͣ̆ͧ̄̈́ͩͫ̈́̏̈́̕͠
͔̺͎̺̼͈̲̦͈ͤͫ̓ͨ͒̓̒͛̿͆͂͂̒ͤ͐̚̚͟͢͝͡Å̆͐ͫ͛̀ͮ̍̈́̍̾̄ͥͪ͡҉͓̻̼̩͈̫̤͇̞̬͖͓̘̩̤͉͈͘ḃͩ̈́ͯ̈́ͦ̃ͦ̓̄̈́ͧ͏̡̡̹͇͉̱͚̯̣͕̼͢ͅs̵̨̜͈̪̤̳̺͚̟̘̰̩͔̹̺̩̝͙̦̓ͭͮͧ̇ͥ̒͐͛ͯ̀ͩͨͣ̓ͅö̬̲̠̲͍̻ͩ̅̓ͪ̐̍̏ͤ͂̕r̴̨̧̮̫͕͚͓̙͎̤̟̱͗ͪ̊ͦ̽̽̃̇̿b̢̮̳̰̻̯̱͕̱͉̘̓̃̓͌̓͐ͮ͊͊̑̋͐̂̈́̔̅̇̕͘͢ͅa̙͙͎͕̫̝̯̹̘͈͗ͪ̾̓̄̇̎̔̍͊͗͂ͮ͞͞nͨ̅̐͛҉̷̲͚̯̗͢ͅț̸̮͓̦̗̘̯͕̗̻̜̩̼̟̤ͩ͑͊͛̆́͞ ̡̯̱͚̹͕̬̼̩̩̬̠̫͓̱͚̓̈ͣ̋͒̍̐ͧͤͅa̴̠̻͕͕͔͇̩̤̲ͣͤͯ̽̿̈́ͤ̇̇̇̌ͬͫ̅̔͌̂͌̅́͟͞͠n̹̝͓͎ͤͮ͋̏͆͌̾̐̍̆̿́̕d̡̫̙̝͇̺̝̭͇͚̖̟̰̪̲̪̰͊ͪͨͥ͘ ͩ̄̓̂͐̎̐҉̰̦͍̩͉͓̠̜͖͇̝͇͖͙͈̣͍̼͡y̷̴̗̟̼̰̹͈͖͉̮̬ͨͫͦ̓̀e̴̥̣̲̞̝͍̲̜̬̣̜̎͗͋͌͒̾ͨ͋͐͑̌̓̕̕͘͟ͅͅl̸͋̔ͩ͆ͣͫ͒ͪͧ̅̋̇͛̆ͦͫ͏̼̦͕͕̖͔̲̫̟ļ̴̛̥͔̮̮̣̻̞̠̘͖̤̏͗̅̑̃͌̐ͦ̄̑̕͢o̖̘̳̩̬̳̗̗̦̯̗̟̖͔̘͔̹̮̪ͭͥͭ́ͮ̎͂́͘͢͠w̷̡̡̙̱̠̫͕̱͓̭̾͗̅͗̑ͮ̾̎̉̔̈́͗͑̈͂͟ ̢̛̝̠̝̄̽̑͐͘͝ͅa̡̟̦̲̲̟̪̥̝̦̺̳ͫͥͥ̏͐̏͌̋͂͊ͬ̓̈́̕͞n̷̹͚͓̟͓̝̰̣̜̼͎̖̬̲͍͉̖͇̙̋̾̈̆̌ͩͫ̇̇̈́̿̑ͤ̽͋̈͊̋d͂ͪͪ̎͌̔̄̓̃̈́ͨͩ̇̎̏͐̃́̚҉̧̥͕͇͚̤̱̜̯̼̹̱̭̺͍̘̀͝ ͙̱͈̼̬̺͇͔̰̱̳̼̫͔̓͑ͦͩ́p͇̦̫̟͇͕̮͍͍͗̔̅͌͋ͧ͑͑̿̅ͪ̍̓ͩ̀̕͘͞͡o̎̈́͆̊́̉́̓ͯ͊̓ͩ̏̍̃̓͜͏̢̞͙͓̳̣̱͕̲̯͚͘r̴̡͍̙̘̎ͧͧ̉ͬͨ͛́͜o̱̹̭͖̽ͫ̓ͤͮ͗̓̋ͤͨ̊͛̿ͨ͑̊͆̃̂̀͢u̵̺͍̱͚̫̥̳͈̘̟̹̿̄̈́̀ͭͫ͑̔̍̽͐̓ͦͫ̃͂́̚̕sͫͧͥ͗ͯ͌͑́̚̚͞͠͏̵̦̱͎̻̬̯̠ ̷̙̬̘̝̻̬̯̳̽̊ͯͯͣͭ͋̋́̚͘ï̛̼͙̰͚̠͔̬̳̰̩̞̤̫̬̆ͮ͐̇ͬ̓ͬ͗ͫͣ̉̆̄̇͘̕͘ͅş̛̛̟̣̲͓̗̲͎̰̯̤̈̎̌̓̀͘ ̢̳͚̼̟̯͙̼̗͈̰ͮ͊́ͤ͌ͪ̇̃ͥ̾̎͜͡͠h̴̶̶̠͈͍̙̺̘̜͈̅ͦ̂ͦ̈ͣͮͪ̀ͅĕ̝̹͇̱͕̤͕̺̤̱̂́ͭ̈͠

̨̼̱̭̟̜̹̘̮̯̘̗̯̗͍̞̻̱̈̉͌ͪ̑͌̽͛̇͗ͫ͑͗ͥ̉̈́̑ͭ́̀̚I̷̶̻̻̥͎͎͖͔͙̝͚̯̲͚̪͎͙̓̾͛͗̃̿̉ͥ̑͒̒͑̾́͡f̧̙͈͎̝͈̼̣̲̼͉͕̱̱̿ͯ̊ͦ̃ͪͪͧ͋͌ͧͬ͠ ͈̟̪̣̥̺̙́̊̃̍ͧ̌͛͛ͧͦͥ́͟n̶̢̧̨͔̜̭̣̫ͥ̿̓ͪ̎̓̈̎͒ͥ́̽ͤ̒͐͌ͦ̂̐ḁ̶̷̫̙͓̣͙̤̖̰̩̗̥͉̱̦̪̩̜̅̅ͣ̓̐̌̃͂͒̌̿͛̅̏̿̚͠ͅŭ̴̴̷͕̘͖̺̯̤̠̇̍͂ͫ̀͝t̸̸̢͛̿̏ͪ̈́ͬ͌͗̐̆̄ͦͤ̒ͨͨ҉͙̣̖̞̲͇͕̱̲̱̦̗͓̜̝̺i̶̵̢̫̳̱̙̖̬͍̙̟̥̟͗ͨ̈ͧͭ́͗̊̈́ͤ̂̈̉̽̀c̸̛̰̤͙͕͉͍̗̝̳̹̯̙̩̻͕̝͔̍ͥͫ̄̓̆̓̊͗̀̐̎ͪ͋́͢a̐͂̇͌̃̓́̔ͤ̈̈̀̈́̉ͭ̓ͦͮ͏̵́҉̜̹̟͓͇̰̫̮̫͖̗̙͓ĺ̵̢̧̗̥̮̠̗͖̳̻̖̖̤̳̲̐ͬ́ͦͫ̾̈́̓͊ͭ̒̓̇ͭ͑̈́͑̀́ ̷̡̖̪̹̟̭̟͇͈͍̻͇̪̹̲̭̤̠͋̅̽̀̈͊͂͒̈́̏͒̓̄̉̂͂̓͂́ͅn̡̊ͤ͒̈́ͣ̄ͥ̉̅͒͒̊͗ͫ̃̚̚҉̡̤͙̦̙͍̥͓͝o̶̯̩̬̞̬̹̦͈̥͖̼̘͇̦̿̇̃̂̆͜n̔̎̽̓͛ͪͭͦ̽̃̆ͨ͏̵̕͡͏͚̞̞͎̪͉̹̟͔s̴̬͍̝͓͍̞͉͎̮͚̹͛͒͒ͨ͒͑̾́̎͛̕͜e̢̩͇͎̟̞̝̳͇̗͚͖͗̉̏̈́̓͛ͭͨ̐̒́͟n̡̨̛̛̤͈̫͍͍͔͔̘͈͖̠͇̙͈̭̣͐͛ͥ̾̑͑̈́̌͐́s̶̸̼̲͚͉͇̠̞̥͕̼͋̄͐͋͋́̓͐e͐̎͒̃̏̽̇͋̅̈́̏̀ͤ͏͈̪͍̞̩̹͖̫͓̗͔̗̥̥̗͔ ̶͇͉̙̫̫͕͔̭̹̪ͬ̄̍̓̅͞b̡̰̦̯̠̭̦̣̯͈͙̹͉̞̟̥͊͗ͦ̌̓ͧ̑̂͐̐̃̉̓͘͘͟ͅeͣ̌ͧ͗̈́ͣ̄ͩ͆̄ͪͯ̿̍ͩͮ͗̏͞͏̧̭͈̠̠̞̦̯͕͍͎̳̜͖̖͇̜̞͘ ͌̈̑̍̔̃ͭ̄͌̿̾͂̓̓ͥ̚̚͏̡̬͖͈̻͖͟s̟̙͈̞̰̗̙̭͎͖̰̣̎̅ͩ̎̚͢͝o̡͋̃ͣ͐͋̐̇͒̄͋҉̶̸̟̦̫̖̺̖̱͉̞̫͖͚̺̙̰m̸̬͉̯͖̜̲̭͉͓͉̭̮͎͚͖͂̎̀̎ͭ͐ͤ̉̌͛̀͘͢è̴̢͚̞̹̠͇̠͙͓ͣ̆ͩ͆ͮ͑̍̔ͮͯͦ̎̕t̴̗̳̼͓̠̳̺̥̤̰̫͍̩̺̆ͪͦ͆͒̆ͨ̓ͭ̆̄͌̎͛̂̾̚͡h̴͉̝̹̭̫̟̭͈͚̼̝̪̺̉ͤ̆ͫ̈ͮ̊ͨ̕͟͡ͅȉ͌ͤ͐̽̿͑ͩ̊ͧ̍͑̒͌̃̚͏̧̫̗̳̀͢͡ņ̷̱̩̠͍̪̄ͧ͐̒͌ͤ̾̌̕͜g̟͈͙̤͕̺̥ͣ͌ͪͥ̈́̾̆ͨ̆ͯͪ̎̍̊ͪ̃̚̕͞ ̶̸̑̅͆̈́͊̒̏̿ͯͭ̅̾ͤͥ̎́҉̮̦͉̪͔̟̩̦̯̱̲̬̫͉͈̦ͅy̸̡͇̰̙̠̙̯͉͈͓̘ͥ͂̃ͭ͊̇̒ͧ͑̽͆̈́͊̿̔͟ͅo̶̡̪̹̻̪̼͖̻͎̟͙ͬ͊͆̀͘͢͢u̲̪̬̬̩̍͑ͯ̐̌ͥ̀͜͡ ̶̢͖̼̠̹̥̱̥̺͖͍̮̞̜̱̳̋ͩ͗̐͆ͫ̓͆͂͐͊͌ͭ̅ͅẘ̝̱̖͔̲̗͉͉̠̙̣͚̣̜̓͛̎̾́̕͢͜͜i̢̛̯͖̞̝͍̥̺̠̥̮̞̖̖̜̱͈͂̏ͥ͌̽͐͆̔͑͐̎ͮ́͠͠s͕̼̹͎̙̩͖̮̮͚̳͕̐͒̉̈́͒̋̕͘͞h̸̛̯̬͇̫̙̽ͮ̃ͨͧͨͤͥ͛̿͠͞͝

̡͖̖̣̫̬̱̝ͤ͛̋̅̌̋͘T̨̡͂͌͊̋̒͋̅̓͋͋̍͗̚͏͎̹̘̬̗̭͔̯̰̦̳͖͖̖̘̩͙hͤ̔ͧ͗̏̓ͯͥ͐̒͋̋̈́̚͏̵̝̭͓̩̙̜̭̯̭̲e̷̴̜̱̝̱͓̗̼̮̳̺̱̹̝̩̤̦ͥ͂̏̍ͭ̽͌͆̈́͂̚̕͝͠n̋̅ͩͧ̾̍̋̈͆ͧ̋͗̉ͧ̆͑̓́̚͘͞҉̠̥̺̟̻̗̭̰̦͕̗̮̠̥̺̻̭ ̨̱̼̘̪̮̫̲̰̘̙͓̞̂ͯ͊̌͌̃͆̓ͭ̎ͭͯͮ̑ͨ̾̀͘ͅͅd͍͚͉̬̜͉͈͉̮͍̘͈̺̄ͬ̈̾͋̄̌ͫ̊ͥͫ͐̇̔̔̔̽̑͢͡r̡̨̫͕͕̰͚̯͔̻̣͎͔̲̟̹̭͂ͦ͆ͮ̀̅̍ͨ͋̊̌̃̅̀͛̒̋̚̕ͅo͕̲̟̰̟̮̭̬̻̖͉̙̗ͭ́̐̾̀ͅp̝̰͉̗͚͉͎̙̪̟̭̱͎̗̓̃ͨ͋͆̔̏ͫ̂ͥ̌̔̑̌͟͞ ̶̫͇̖̦̗ͦ͋̊̽̽́o̶̻̣̯̣͙͕͂ͯ̋̑͂ͤ͗̈̓ͩ̾͆ͬ̃̿̌̋͆̀̕ͅn̴͙͖̝̮̬͔̳̫̯̑͛̐ͭ̈̿͆̆ͣ̈́̚͠ ̡͙͖̺̳̱̘̃̑̿̃̒̾̊̓͂ͧ͟tͤ̽̓̎ͩ̚͏̩̜̟̬̘hͩ̍ͩ͗͗̽͊̓̐̏̀̓ͫ͛̇ͥ̕͏̷̳̱̞͕̹͓̣̝̱̲̩͉̲͎ȩ̛̤̺̩̣̖̜͈̲͈͙̠̞͔͐̿͋ͭͤ̀́̆ͤ͟͠ ͕͎͍̣͔̼ͧͬͪ̈́͛̅̒̌̾͂̕d̶̶̢͇̥̥̥̯͎̻̬̯̥̳͔͒̄̏͂̋͗͒͌͒̈́͑ͮ̌̅͋͑̿̅͜͡ë̴̢̡͍̣̭͉̼̲́̋͆͒̈́ͬ̅̇̈́͌͗̑̂̚ͅc̛̙̥̯̲̪̜͔͙̥͛̾̐̊̕͟͝͞k̒̒ͨ͑͆͊ͩ͌̌͋͑̇̚҉̶͍̯̺̝̺̥̳͘͝ ̸̴̶̬͓̳̰͚̜̜́̐͋͗ͭ͊ͧ̃̏͞ą̸̣͈̟̥̘͍̼̮̠̖̝̳̘̤͉͓̈͂ͧ̌͒̐̾͌̽̓̉͛̈́͟͠͞ṋ̶̱̮̝̹̺͕̺̞͕͍̤̲̰̙̖͑͌ͨ͌ͥ̏̎̌̈́̂ͫͭ̌͘͡͠ͅͅd̵̴͎̻̺̫̞̣̪̭ͦ̊̀̾̀͐̎̽͆̃̀ ̢̘̣̭̬̭̻͕̞̠̇̍̍ͯͪ͐̔͋̋͑̆͑́̃ͨ̅͢͞f̷̨͇̫̰̞ͪͮͧͤ̓ͤ͜͟l̷̵̢̤̘̬̠͉͇̲̲͈̮̠̲̪͓̰̦̪ͬͥ̍̅ͤ̊ͅo͎̖̠͖͉͖͉̭͖͔̹̩̼̮̼̊ͤ͗̄̋͂ͣͨ̕ͅͅp̼̩͖̜͙̭̳͍̲̙͈̮̆ͨ̓͌͌͆́ͨ̕͞ͅ ̵̸̢͉͙̣̥̖̞̜̟̝͕͕͓̖̺̻̳̙̘̔̀̑ͨ̈́̊ͤ̎ͮ͌̌ͮ̈́̆̈ͬ̉ͥ͟͡ͅḽ̦̪̤͇͓̜̼̫̙̗͔̰̪̤̆̆ͮͮͨͦͧ͒ͦ̓̚͝i̸͕̰̜̥̳͉͖̯̥̲̫͎̩̹̠ͣ̒̑̿̓̌͛̈́̐͒̋̽ͪ̂̋ͫ̕͠k̻͎̙̲͕̳̹̱̖͔̗̗̪̖̖̬͔̥͂͊͌ͬͫ̈́̏͌̕͘͜͡e̶̡̦̠̘͉͍͖͍̺̙͕͉͓̭̓̐̊̎̒ͪͦ͊͑̐͛͂̈̃͟ ̧̠̙̝͍͉̱̥͈͚̻̮̺͓̉ͨ̔̀̈̎̄̿͊̅̆͟͞͡a͆͊̒̊ͤ̿̓ͯ͑͏̘̜̮͉̲̟̘̦̟͙̼͉̭̣͍̜̲̥ ͉̫͉̗͖̫ͮ̒̚͜͠f̸̨͕͈͎̞̳͓̥̱̝̫̦̦̼̍͋͆̓̒ͪͭ̇̈́͘i͎̬͈͕̭͔̟̟͕̯͚̐̉̊̈́̃ͤ͒̑͛ͫ͐̓̇̕͞š̨̢̺͕̬͖̫͍̼̮̲̫̲̭͖̋̈̅͆ͦ̄̑ͮͪ̃̒̊͌̎̾̐͒͘͝ḧ̷̶̨͔͎̯̟̳̺͍̭̹̝͎̖́͆̏̐͋ͭͣ͐̀̅̏́ͧ̃͠
̢́͆͛̈ͥ͑͒ͬ͑̑̊̇̅͒̊̔̃͐̽͡͏̞̫̙̰̜̝̭̰̲̣"̶̸ͯ́ͪ̀͋̾͌̋̌̃̽ͭ̈̋̇ͧ͏̴͓͉̤̯̰͍̗̥͔̫̮̠S̩͖̟̙̩̳̥͕͖͚͇ͯ͗͋̏ͣ͐̑̈̌̈͂ͨ̆̕͡͠pͥͫͫ͆̃ͮ͑̓̓ͦ̔͛ͨͩ̓͊ͩͦ̀͏̶̧̛̫̭͕̙̤̩̦͍͖̙̥͇ọ̸̲̫͓̠̙̬͈͓̰̩͎̤̪̩͂̄ͧ̍̍̏ͯ̍͑̋͌̏̐ͦͩ͗̿̀͜͡͡n̴̙̭̟͉͉͓͐ͮͮ̆́ͧ̿̊ͩ̾͛̽̽͞g̨̍ͣ̑̌̑́͆̓̏̅ͨ̀̀̚̕҉̠̞̰̗e̓ͩͮͯ͆̐ͩ̽ͭ͒̓ͤ͏̛͕̣̼͙͈͈̱̩̘͚̲̯̮̟̙̬̩b̷̡̢̬̟͓̦̬͇̻̩̦͇̣̲̊ͦ̉̀ͪ͘ͅo̸̶̦͕͉̲̬̦̼̺̤̙ͨ̄͐̽͟b̡̬̲̤͔̣̬̂͑̊ͨ ̊̇ͧ͗͂͂͟͏̸̲̠̝̼̫̬̥͓̝S̸̎͐̋ͣ͑͒̊ͪ̈́́ͣ̈́̽ͣͪ̈́͑҉̧͇̮̝͘q̳̗̹͔̠̞͖̱̤͈̜̍͑̄̅ͤ̉̀͟͠ų̴̘̟͔̥̟̄̈̍͌̎̆ͤ̚͜͞ȁ̸̡̘͔̳͎͔͍̰̼̱͎͚̖̖͙͇͂̽͂͗̾̇̎ͦ̓̊̕͞r̸̴̢̖̦͖̙̃ͨ̓͂͑̓ͧ̑͗́͗̾̉̀͊̀̽ͪ̚͟͠e̛̤̤̪̞̬̼̱̭̥̭̱͉͚ͪ̅ͮ͋̌͛̉̇͐ͬ͑̒̌́ͦ̅̋̾ͦ́p̴̨͕̮͉͇̻̥̯̱͉͖͈̤̻̤̫͉̗̬ͭ̐ͭ͑ͨͯͦͬ̇ͧ͋̉͗ͨ̉̏ͮ͘͟a̸̱̥͎̻̩͕̠̠̼̅ͧͥͭ̾̂͛͐̆̀͝͡ͅň̸͆̔́ͦ̐̍̔ͮͪ͊ͬ̕͝҉̷͚̘̯͇̦̝͇̺̥͖̭͚̘̮̗͇͖t̛̟̪̺̯͓̥̤ͫͩ̊̈́ͪ́̐ͩ̏̍͛̌̋ͭ͛̋͝ͅs͂́ͬ͑̒̃͋͊̍ͣ͋ͩͣ̊ͮ͒̆̀̐҉̥̻͚̙̭̠̫̖̣̯̠̯̩͎̻̖͈͜͟"̸̵͍̳͕̼̳͇̯̩̗̣̺͈̤̱̭̫̮̫̇̿ͮͨ̌ͩ͑̓̀̌ͅ
̵̵̷̢͔̩͚̰̦̘̮̮̹̥͓͍̘̮͚̜̐ͣ͒͗̅̿̾̌̾̒̏̿̌̄̈͛ͅŖͮͨ̈́ͨ̌̓ͬ͐̒ͪ̌̽͒ͣ͞͏̸̰͎̙͚̺̤̩̠̘̥́ͅE̽̾͌̇̒ͥ̄͒ͤͫ͆͗ͪ̓͏͙͈̟̜̤͚̙̜̲̹̳̺̙͚ͅĀ̦͔̬̖̰̘̙̟͖͖͌ͪ͋͊̄͑͋̅ͫ̏ͦ̉́̋͑̚̚͘͟D͂̊ͬͧ͒̍ͬͨͦ̾ͩ̉̐҉̭͓̗͓̣̠̥̠̼͇̰̞̱̩̕ͅY̷̸͍͔̥͈̠̣̝͓̠̗͙̙̼̳̖ͥ͊̌̅̾͆͌ͬ͗͐͆̾̿̑̇͋̉̀̕
͆̿͋̓̾́͏̴̻̣͙͕̯̤͈̤͎̯̥͇̣͎̙̺̲͚͘͠ͅŞ͉̦͕̰̮͓͚͙ͫ̿̉̾͋͐͝p͙͓͓̜̞̲̤̙͓̙ͩ͋ͨͭ͗̃̐̽̈͗̾̇̚̕͘͞ơͤ̊͌̔̂̃́̏̊ͬ̃͂ͩ̌̊̌ͭ̚҉̴͏͔̭̰̘͎̱̖̀n̅̈ͨ͌ͦ̀ͧ̂̊ͦͣ̒̍͛̓̚̚҉̰̥̱̪͎̯̤̥̞͔͈̥̥̺͙͕̕ͅg̶̢̟̱͕͙̞̻̜̘͎̰̱̗̭͚̃͗͒ͯ̑̽̏͡͡͡é̴̡̡̱̰̹̜̟͇̺̜̪̰̪̪͇͗̔̀͝b͛ͫ̉̉͆̀̈́̋͗̎ͧ̅̐҉̛̙̩͎̦̟̰͇̥̝͔̝o̴̶̰̭̤̱͚̥̭̬͉̪͇̼̳̺̗͔͇ͪ̔ͭ̾̔̓̉̋̏̾ͤ͋̑ͬ̎ͦ͗̚͜͟ͅͅbͬ̈ͮ͊̄͝͏̵͍̯̥͈̗͖̀͝ ̮̙͚̠̦̻̈́̋͆ͭͭ̃͂̎͊̀͜S̴̢͖͚͚̳̩̺̬̺̥̠̳̼͉̤͔͔̞̹̆̌͒̍ͧ̿̈̕͟ͅq̨͕̟͍͙͓̟̞̪̦̣̺̥̰͖̦̲̄̆͂̔̓͛̍̆ͯ͑ͩͫ̌ͦͬͧ͛̒̚̕͢͢ͅù̦̠̙̝̙̣̲̟̟̘͖ͮ̇ͥͮͬ́̂̃̐̕a̸̡̻̩̝̪̖̙͇͖̭̳͔͎ͣ̓ͧ̇ͤ̾͛ͫ̕͜r̾̅̾ͤͨ̐ͭ͗̔̓ͯ̉ͯ̐̌̇͗̊̚͏̼̬͍͉̼̝͍̤̣͍̰́ẻ̸̷͍͎̣͎̮̟͎̺̙̗̭̗͚͕̣͌̌̐̅̈́̓͗͂̊̐͌ͭ͂ͮ̓ͬ̕ṕ͈̣̻͔̦̥̝̘̺̤̝̰̉ͭ̑̄ͧ͐ͤͯ͊͟ͅã̹̻͇̩̭͙̻̠̰͖̊̓̽̀ͤ͊͛ͫ́͆̉̋ͥ͛̀̚͘͜ñͨ̔̏̇ͭ̈̀ͥͨ͘͏͈͇͉͚͓͇̝ţ̸̛̠̖̩̮̭̬͈̬̘͚̺͔͉ͮ̓͒ͩ͌̀̈́ͬͫ̽̽ͫ̎͆ͪ̕͡ͅṣ̴͈͔͈͕̩̣͚̝̣̹̘̻̟̫̺̄̌͒̅͛̉͢
̷̙͖͇͈̖̫̼̠̝͚͈̣͖̞̰̈ͮ̊ͥ̏̃ͬͪ͌ͫ͊̍ͥ͢ͅS̛̼̗͚̖͍̥̲͓̖̹̞̰̣̖͌͐̈̽̇͆͑̿̈̚͜ͅͅp̵ͧ̂̓ͧ́ͯͫ̓̋̓̚͏̡͚̰̤͈̠̻͈̫̜ǫ̨̢̢̖̠͚̰̏ͩ̊ͣͩ̃͑ͥ͗̽ͧ̂͝n͓̻̺̼̭̘̩͙̘͔͇̜̻̼̥͖̜͎̬ͣ͆̅̅ͨͦ́͌̓ͩ̈́̿̚͘͢g̎̈́̆ͯ̔ͧ̀͌̈̒̊̇̈̓̓̄ͮ̀҉̸̞̱̙̻̮̞̜͉͉̼́eͭ͒ͩͤ҉̴̛͉̝̰̜̱͓̗̲͔̮͓͎̼̘̯̞ͅb͗̆̈́̈ͮ̈̈ͣ͂͛ͫ̒͑̃ͤ͞҉̴̩̣̝̪̬̟̙̩͚̣̱̲̳̲̕ó̷̢ͧ̐ͯ̐͋͊ͭͮ̔͋ͦ̀ͤ͒͊̍͋ͯ̀҉͇̯̣̞̮͈̪̭̼̭̞̳b̶̛ͭ̂̐͌̄͑̎ͪͧͤ͆͒͏͉͉̝̫̠̦͕̼̼̞̞̱͖͖̜̪͜ ͩͤ̋̾̋҉̘̻̫̭̩̣̳̘͖̥͉̕S̛̺̖̠̼̳͕͍͚̦̺̭̤͈̗͓̖̤̥ͥ̓̌͌̓͐̓ͥ̀̆͑̐͘q̈̋̎͆͛̈́͏̧͙͙̪̹̮̦͖̳̪̝̩͍̤̘̩̫͇̝͡u͗̒ͫ҉̴̡̠̠̪̹̝̦͔͙͉͉͉̟̼̩͝a̧̝͍͎̤̜̿̓̓̂ͤ̂̑̇̂͒̄̅̇͢͝r̷ͦ͒̅ͫ͐̂ͣ̊ͦ͗ͣ͛͒̽ͧͨͦͥ͟͏͖̱̣̘̟̜͉̮̬͕̥ę̓̋͒̃͏̢̤̩̦͙̯͔̮̞̙͓̠̪̝͖͍̱̖͎͙́͘p̴̴̴̮͉̝͎͛̃̀ͯ̓͛́͐ͨ̔ͤͬͬ̅ͥͩͩ́͜ͅą̷̝͎̪̱̱̳̺͔̤͕͖͖͈̩̝̗͍̔ͮ̀̎̏̍ͨ͆̑̄ͥ͌̌̓ͧ̔̚͘͡ͅͅn̍ͤ̂͋ͪ҉̮̟̘͙̻͓̺̳̬̱̬͉̩̼́ͅt̢̓̐ͥͤͮ̈̉ͧ̌̋ͮͪ͛̆̾҉̸̧̼̮̮͖̜̪̻̟̤̰s̫̮̞̥̖̪͚̙͍̪ͯ̀̀̑ͭ̽̈͐ͤ́̊͞͝
̏̌̀̓̒̾͋̆̑̇ͤ̍̽͋̈̔͏̶̢̥̞̖͈͔͟S̸̰̟͇̟̗̭̩̻͓ͥ̈̌̍ͮͮ̈́ͭ̔̀̀ͅṕ̟̠͚͕̯̯̼̠̪͖͓̝̲̗̙̥̿̔̃̒ͣ̀̚̕͢o̢̩͖̭̳̯̅̍ͥͦͭͯ̈n̓̂̇̐͋ͨ̚͏̢͡͏̦͚͕̳͙̥g̸̶̨̲͉̳̘̱ͨͧͪ́ͬ̍̓ͫͧͭ̏ͮ͛̾̓̔ͦ̀̚̚͟ę̸̡̩̲̞̪̝̂͛̐̄̇̌̆ͨ̍ͮ̆͝͞ͅb̺̭̟̖̩̟͚͇͔̻ͭ̓̐̋͊̅͊̄̈́̋͋̊̊̅̊̔͟͠o̲̝̩̬͓͈͙̦ͨ̌ͮ͆̑̇̀͗̍̍̚͜͝ͅb̸̧̦̠̠̣̜̦̜̩̿̍͂͂̈́ͮ̈̍ͪ̒̑͒͆ͧ ̡͆͆̇ͮͯ́ͨ̓͆̅͡҉̨̟͖̯͎̝̝͚͚͕͔͎͎͚̼̣͍͕̕S̡̖͚͍͔̝̫͑͛ͭͫ̉͋ͥ͂̾ͪ̏͑͐̍ͨ̊̚͝q̡̡̣͍͉̪̯̙̣̜͎̘̲̯ͧͪͪͬ̎͢͠͝u͇̬̣̱̘̝̤̣̖͇̜̥̩̓̆ͨ̑̃̾̎̉̅͗̈̾ͦͨ̓͊ͥ̀͡a̗͇̠̤͖̥̗͈̤͙̹͍͇̤͔̙̣̤̓ͬ͑ͦ̐̓ͥ̍̊̍ͮ̍̔̔̀͛̚̚͟͝ͅṙ̸̙̜̱̦̰̟̥͎̳̭̼̙̙̠̣̠͌͌ͤ̎ͦ͠e̷̢̯͍̠̯ͨ̂́̇͂ͭͣͤ͂̔ͯ͛̿p̶̡̑͊͐̄̇҉̟͚͕̥̻͚̥̞̹̫̳a̶̡̛̛̘̲̠̗̯͕͌͌ͭͧ͛̈͡ņ͈̳̠͎͛ͫ̾̓ͨ̑͐͂͘͜t̶̡̮̺̖̠̣͖̥̳̻̟̖͉̉ͦ́̆͗̄ͯ͘͢s̴̛̤̘͔̟͇̹͈͙̝͓͉̠̙͚͖͓̔́͑͛ͨ͂̆́͘ͅ
̡̢͛̈́̎̄͋ͨͭ̋̈́ͨͭ̅̂̏͞͏̳̪͕͕͍̘̖̞̥̳͕͇͇ͅ
̛͓̩̩̹̺̮̘̟̫̤̱͍̯͇̭̫̟͌͋̆̀͂ͨ͋̑̍ͧ̆̃̕͟͜S̵̤͇̟͍̮͉̩͓̪̖͇͙͙̰̗͇͇̝͙̉̂̊̀̾̿ͮ̾ͩ̽͒̐͝͞P̨̩͈̗̰͇̣͙͕̭̗̞̹̠͈̦̞̳̉ͮ̓̆̃̒̅ͮͣ͌ͬͨ̃̎͑́͞O̸̩̣͚̝̗͎͎ͩͬ̇̅̉ͩ͊ͩ͒͌ͫ̏̿͐̈́̓̂͜͟͠N̸̵̯̰̰̩̩͉̣̪̠̳͌̐͆͒ͫ͒͒̍͗̒ͬ͊̾́͌̋̚͠G̷ͣ͛͂͑ͦͣ͋̈̈̇̎͒͊̅̾̍͐̄͜͟͞҉̠͔͔̫̫̯͙E̡̻̝̘͇̘̙͍̯̬̻̥͕ͬͩ͆̈́ͥͦ̄ͯͧͯ̉̊̄̾ͮͫͩͬ̀̚͟B͑̽̾ͬ̔̉̾͐͋ͭ͊́̉͗͒͊̿͘҉͏̷̘̰͉̬̩̖̞̫̤̱͢O͆ͯ̌̎ͯ̓̍͐̏͊ͬͤ̅ͬͥͫ͏̖̲̯̜̖̪̱̘̝̻̰͖̗̘͍͉̻͇́͡B̨̙̺̞͗ͥ͊̾̃ͬ͟ ̴̯͉͍̫̣̙̭̃ͯ̋ͨ̀͡S̷̶̊̈̀ͯ́ͥ̈ͪ̓̿̈͌͑͗̉̍̚͢҉̶͔͉̮̦̝̳͇̞Q̶̸̡̥̥̰̱̫̝͙̟͚ͣ̃ͫ̅̉̑̈̃͂̓ͯͥ̕͢U̎̀ͯ̍͂ͬ̃̀͊͆̈͢҉̨̲̠̮̬̪̹̗̖̝̗͉̼̫̗̱͔̤͡A̸̢̲̫͈̱̻͖̭̟̫ͨ̉̽̃̈͒ͦ͂ͅR̨̨̨̲̻̹͉̹͑͗̀̑ͪ̿̇̐̒̃ͭ̈̆͐ͮ̿ͮ̚̕Ę̸͍̥͎̤͇͉̩ͥ̎ͧͦ̈́ͤ̿͊̅ͣͯṖ̵̨̭̠̪̤͖̲̦͚͈̗̪̀ͩͥͣ̋̂̋̌ͫ͋̉̇̄̉̽͝A̿͌ͯͪͧ̆̒̈ͩ͋͗̓ͦ͛̐͝҉̧̤͇̘͙̫̦̥̬̱̹̬͜N̴ͩ͊̈́ͬ́́͠͏̻͉̰͚̮̼T̷̶̢̙̝̻̮̺̈́̋̏̑̅͌̽̈́ͥͩ̆ͬ̃̽ͨ͒̏̚͢S̓͊̿̀͏͎͓̦̳̱̺̝̠!̴̢̡̥̦̜̪̻̻̗̽̑ͦ̏̃ͤ͒̓ͧ̌̅ͧ̉̉͑́ ͛̿̽̌ͣ̇̽͡҉̬̞̝̭̩́Ȃ̢̙͓̪̳̦ͨ̌̌̌͌ͣ̔̆ͦ͆̄̏̿ͩͪ̚̚ͅH̡̪̥͖̬̼͔̻̣̣̹̗̭̪̼͕̊͂̋̃ͥͮ͒̾͒̂̀̈́̀͘͡ ̪̝̺̠̗̬̻̹͇̝͕̥͕̞̥̙̙͇͐̓̓̏ͥ̓ͧ̈́͢͝͞A̸̰̝̻͖͚̖͚͍̟̰͇͎̩͕͇ͤ̈͛̂̄͑ͪ͛̍ͨ͆́̔ͦ̕͘H̵̎͆ͨ̄̍̈́ͯͥ̌́͠͞҉͈̗̻̣͇̺͙̲͉̠̭̗̤̥̻̩̘̪Hͭͨ̔ͩ̽ͥ҉̡̢̧̱̖̗̬͖̬̙͍̣́ ̷̱͉̫̙̠̻̝̥̺̖͓̥̞̤͇̙͚̫̙͐ͫͮ̆̽͗́͊̆̔ͯͮͤͯͦͥ͐͘͞͞͡A̡̛̛͍̖͖̦̞͙̼͎̯̙̣̲̱̰̬̳̼͌ͪ̈́̈́ͣͮ͑̑ͦ̚͟H̵̢̛̯̬̻̥͓̻̞̩̬͔͔̮͉͓̝͕̤͔͒ͫ͛ͭ̑ͨ͆͑̒͐ͥ̌͋̐͡͠Ḧ̵͕̯̬͍͚̠͍̥̦̖̮̫̬̻̝́̄ͬ̈́̕ ̨̈́͋̄ͬͬ̐̀҉̖̟͔͕̻̫̲͇̟͔Ą͔̤̝̥͚ͯ̀͌͐̽ͭ̄ͧͨ̔̽ͯ̈́ͮ͌̐̽̽̀̚̕͢ͅͅĤ̷̛͚̙̤͉̞͙̖̼͕̯͕̖̬ͮͥ̂͗̊̽ͧͦͥ̚͘͠Ą̡̮̤̠̰̥̰̫͖͖̲̞̳ͪͤͥͧ̈̍̋̀ͅH̤̲͍ͫ̔ͯ̐͐̇̆̅ͬ͘ͅA̶̵̡̬̻̖̤̣͕̟̦̽̐̾͌̅̂ͣ̓̒̔͟͡H̼̖̬͚̦̰̲̙̗̥̥̫͌̐͗̑͆͂͑̆̊̓̌̽̈ͩ̉͋̀͘͟͠Ḁ̛̲̝̱͓̝̝̣̗̗̠̙͕͐ͨ̃̑̆́ͅH̷̶͔̪̼̭͎̗̳͙͓̬͈̘̘̣̬̳̞̞ͧͭ̋͛̇A̵̛͗̎ͩͤ́̃̏̉̔ͧ̚҉̵̦͔̹͇̺̣̥H̗̥̮̱̥͙̬̼͕͇̦͖̤̥͔͒̒̓̅̏̈́̑̌͋͒ͪ̌͋͟͜A̡̢̨͔̣͙̭͉͚̺̐͛̓͊ͧH̷̛͙̰͖̫̼̐ͫ̽ͬ̾ͧ͒͌̋̈́̑͢͟͝Ǻ̘̻͎͓͈̮͇͓̙͔̟͓̞̼̻̝̯̽̓̓ͣ̾͢͞Ḥ̠̗̠̬̘͙͙̼͎͉̣̼̖͂͛̏̓̆̓̈́ͬ͌͛̇̐̃̉̓̽͟͝ͅͅH̏͆̿̃́̈́͂̑̂̑͑ͪͩ͌ͫ͋̚҉̵̨̻̤̫̭̕͜H͊͊ͪ͐̐ͮ͆͋ͪ̀ͯ̀̅̋ͪ̚҉͏̻̠̥̥̰͓̺̠͎̠̼̹͈̙̺̤͇͚͖̀.̧̛̳͈̰̫̘̪̞͓̤̭̭͗̆̑̊̉ͦ̋ͮ͒ͣ͛̈́ͅ.̧̨̯̭̬͍̳̱̠̖͙͉̯͇̼͎̺͗ͬ͌̒̏̔̄ͫ̀͆ͨ̎͌ͯ̆̎͢ͅͅͅ.̢̜͚̘̭͈̱̘͇̪̳͖ͣ̿ͨͯͩ̎ͣ͛́ͭ́͟

(Brick pops)
Brick: art
(The universe explodes)
Prohibit: MLGENIUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
(A fedora flashes on the screen)
Squidward: DIRTY DOLLAR
(The universe explodes again)

(Black nothingness for 2 minutes)
Brick: (jumpscare) HEY KIDS
(20 seconds of silence and creepy staring)
Brick: WHAT WAS YUR FAVORITE PART OF THE TRIP
(2 minutes or silence and creepy staring)
Brick: I LIKE THAT PART TOO
Lars: (distorted, face filling screen) CLEAR AND CONFEDERATE

SNEAK PEEK FOR 9/18:
Brick: I love 4D rides! I'm going on that.
SpongeCob: Me too!
BobSponge: I wanna go!
ssj: Meh, I feel like we could spend our time in more constructive ways, like going on rides that are less likely to get us killed.
Brick: Come on, ssj! What's the worst that could happen?
(We slowly zoom in in ssj's eyes. In them we see people on the old SpongeBob 4D ride screaming, running away, and dropping like flies while dramatic music plays)
ssj: That wasn't pickles.
(beat)
SpongeCob: Uh... what?
(We cut to the five of them in the 4D theater, wearing 3D glasses and strapping themselves into vibrating chairs)
Voice: Welcome to the Ronald McDonald Experience. Please do not attempt to comfort your children, as you will die immediately if you accidentally unbuckle your seat belts.
 
NEW FRIDAYS! THIS WEEK, WE'VE GOT:

New Slif Lim School!
Lego: Oh Mausham, you're a riot. You should start a comedy show or something!
Mausham: You know, that's not a half bad idea!
Lego: GO DO IT
Mausham: Okay. I gotta write my routine.
(Mausham takes out a sticky note and writes "That's My Wife")
Lego: That's it?
Mausham: The rest usually hits me.

New Kingdumb!
Knight: Do you even know how to use a computer?
King: YES I AM
(The king jumps off a cliff with the knight in and the princess in the cart)
Princess: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
King: ITS A SHORTCUT
(They all fall on the throne)
Throne: THAT ACTUALLY HURT
King: Well, we're home.
Princess: You do realize you forgot to pay for that, right?
King: I DIDNT ASK FOR THE NAME CALLING

New SBM Show!
Bagel: Let's see... it says that there's a spa, a restaurant, a scenic overview of the
Bagel: It also has a new 4D ride, "The Ronald McDonald Experience".
Brick: I love 4D rides! I'm going on that.
SpongeCob: Me too!
BobSponge: I wanna go!
ssj: Meh, I feel like we could spend our time in more constructive ways, like going on rides that are less likely to get us killed.
Brick: Come on, ssj! What's the worst that could happen?
(We slowly zoom in in ssj's eyes. In them we see people on the old SpongeBob 4D ride screaming, running away, and dropping like flies while dramatic music plays)
ssj: That wasn't pickles.
(beat)
SpongeCob: Uh... what?


AND YOUR POSTS! Starting 5:00 PM PST/8:00 PM EST! ONLY ON SHOP MANIA!
 
Okay, guys. New episode here, and an important announcement: The rest of the episodes in the show are following a story arc so you have to read them in order for them to make sense.

The Ronald McDonald Experience
Written by BrickSponge2015
(Bagel is sitting at his table eating waffles and reading the newspaper)
Bagel: Ooh, that could be fun! (Bagel grabs his phone and calls ssj) ssj! ssj! They just reopened The Fiscal Cliff!
ssj: No way! I thought the health inspectors closed it down forever. Or at least changed the theme to something that's still funny now.
Bagel: You wanna take Brick, BobSponge, and SpongeCob?
ssj: Sure. Meet you there at noon?
Bagel: Got it!
(We cut to Bagel, ssj and the aforementioned group outside the entrance to The Fiscal Cliff Resort and Amusement Park. Bagel is looking at a map)
Bagel: Let's see... it says that there's a spa, a restaurant, a scenic overview of the literal Fiscal Cliff which was built in 2012, only semi-deadly rollercoasters, and rides based on award-winning TV shows such as "Who Shot Grampa's Hat?".
BobSponge: I love that show!
Bagel: It also has a new 4D ride, "The Ronald McDonald Experience".
Brick: I love 4D rides! I'm going on that.
SpongeCob: Me too!
BobSponge: I wanna go!
ssj: Meh, I feel like we could spend our time in more constructive ways, like going on rides that are less likely to get us killed.
Brick: Come on, ssj! What's the worst that could happen?
(We slowly zoom in in ssj's eyes. In them we see people on the old SpongeBob 4D ride screaming, running away, and dropping like flies while dramatic music plays)
ssj: That wasn't pickles.
(beat)
SpongeCob: Uh... what?
(We cut to the five of them in the 4D theater, wearing 3D glasses and strapping themselves into vibrating chairs)
Voice: Welcome to the Ronald McDonald Experience. Please do not attempt to comfort your children, as you will die immediately if you accidentally unbuckle your seat belts.
Prez: Why no Happy? HAPPY NEEDS LOVE! LOVE I SAY!
(The ride begins. On the screen, we see Ronald McDonald in a rollercoaster car shaped like Happy. The cart starts moving down a huge steep roller coaster, with air being blown at the riders)
Prez: HAPPY? WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?
ssj: If the air starts smelling like burnt tires, run.
Ronald: (On screen) WHOA!
(The rollercoaster cart he's in transforms into a small yellow box with a red dot on it. He holds the box, and glides down the rollercoaster on the box)
Ronald: (On screen) I DON'T NEED TO SURVIVE, THANKS TO THE POWER OF YAK! THE ONLY ORIGINAL ALL WHITE MEAT CHICKEN SANDWICH! (The box shines, and he keeps riding on it like a tiny square surfboard)
Bagel: Yak. Yak, where have I heard that word before?
Talking Yak: (in exaggerated goofy British accent) You called?
Bagel: No, it was somewhere more important.
Talking Yak: (with accent) I AM DEEPLY OFFENDED!
Bagel: It was- (Bagel freezes for a second and turns to ssj) SSJ! NICKFLOWER'S BACK!
To be continued
Right now
(The five of them are on a Who Shot Grampa's Hat themed water ride)
Bagel: It has to mean something. IT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING!
ssj: Bagel, NickFlower is my sworn enemy, but... don't you think this could be a coincidence?
Bagel: YAK HAS RETURNED AND IT'S GOING TO DESTROY US ALL!
ssj: Stay calm!
Bagel: I AM CALMERER THAN YOU ARE OR EVER WILL BE!
Brick: THIS EPISODE HAS TOO MUCH CAPS LOCK!
BobSponge: I AM NOW SCREAMING!
Everyone: AAAAHHHHHH!
(We then cut to them on the edge of the Fiscal Cliff, looking over the edge)
ssj: Everyone be careful. I don't think these railings are too small.
(Brick falls over the edge into a black void of nothingness)
ssj, Bagel, SpongeCob, and BobSponge: BRIIIIIIIIIICK!
(They look over the edge. There is a popping noise, and Brick appears behind him)
Brick: Man, these life cheats really do work!
(After that, we cut to the group walking home at sunset)
Brick: That was awesome!
BobSponge: Yeah, when I got that really cool souvenir, and that guy was like, "Sir, please refrain from vandalizing the artificial cactuses, they're highly combustible!" and I just said "You're highly combustible!".
SpongeCob: Yeah, that was really cool.
(ssj and Bagel lag behind)
ssj: Bagel, I'm saying this as a friend, but you're way too paranoid.
Bagel: I'm not paranoid. I mean, I am, but NickFlower almost destroyed our city. His plan almost worked. I mean, we had to work hard to fix the city before the next episode. (ssj looks confused) That is, episode of our lives. Heh heh. Okay, maybe I am paranoid, but I'm just trying to keep my home from getting destroyed.
ssj: Yeah, you got a point there.
Bagel: Just to make sure, would you help me study one of those sandwiches? You know, see if there's anything evil about them.
ssj: Sure. Just to keep you from going insane. I bet it'll be fine, though.
(We zoom out to reveal Brick and SpongeCob running a stand for people gambling on whether Yak is evil or not)
E.V.I.L: I'll bet 24 million against me.
Bagel: ::dolphin noise::.
(We see ssj sneaking into Prez's lab and stealing equipment, while Bagel buys a Yak at McDonald's. They meet back up in Bagel's living room, where Bagel is about to analyze the burger with a machine)
Bagel: Okay, Mr. Yak. We've tried everything, but nothing has loosened your tongue.
(We see ssj looking on with an annoyed frown. You know, the type of face you'd reply to something really stupid with)
Bagel: This is your final chance.
(beat)
Bagel: (dryly) Okay, ssj. Rev up those analyzers.
(ssj plugs in something. We see a shot from the burger's "eyes" of it getting scanned by a laser. The laser points directly at the camera, and the episode ends)

SNEAK PEEK:
Bagel: What the- He didn't even buy these! He stole them or something!
ssj: The police should really do something about that guy!
(beat)
Bagel: Uh, yeah, they should.

Of course I'm not giving spoilers in the sneak peeks lol
 
BagelsinEurope said:
Okay, guys. New episode here, and an important announcement: The rest of the episodes in the show are following a story arc so you have to read them in order for them to make sense.

The Ronald McDonald Experience
Written by BrickSponge2015
(Bagel is sitting at his table eating waffles and reading the newspaper)
Bagel: Ooh, that could be fun! (Bagel grabs his phone and calls ssj) ssj! ssj! They just reopened The Fiscal Cliff!
ssj: No way! I thought the health inspectors closed it down forever. Or at least changed the theme to something that's still funny now.
Bagel: You wanna take Brick, BobSponge, and SpongeCob?
ssj: Sure. Meet you there at noon?
Bagel: Got it!
(We cut to Bagel, ssj and the aforementioned group outside the entrance to The Fiscal Cliff Resort and Amusement Park. Bagel is looking at a map)
Bagel: Let's see... it says that there's a spa, a restaurant, a scenic overview of the literal Fiscal Cliff which was built in 2012, only semi-deadly rollercoasters, and rides based on award-winning TV shows such as "Who Shot Grampa's Hat?".
BobSponge: I love that show!
Bagel: It also has a new 4D ride, "The Ronald McDonald Experience".
Brick: I love 4D rides! I'm going on that.
SpongeCob: Me too!
BobSponge: I wanna go!
ssj: Meh, I feel like we could spend our time in more constructive ways, like going on rides that are less likely to get us killed.
Brick: Come on, ssj! What's the worst that could happen?
(We slowly zoom in in ssj's eyes. In them we see people on the old SpongeBob 4D ride screaming, running away, and dropping like flies while dramatic music plays)
ssj: That wasn't pickles.
(beat)
SpongeCob: Uh... what?
(We cut to the five of them in the 4D theater, wearing 3D glasses and strapping themselves into vibrating chairs)
Voice: Welcome to the Ronald McDonald Experience. Please do not attempt to comfort your children, as you will die immediately if you accidentally unbuckle your seat belts.
Prez: Why no Happy? HAPPY NEEDS LOVE! LOVE I SAY!
(The ride begins. On the screen, we see Ronald McDonald in a rollercoaster car shaped like Happy. The cart starts moving down a huge steep roller coaster, with air being blown at the riders)
Prez: HAPPY? WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?
ssj: If the air starts smelling like burnt tires, run.
Ronald: (On screen) WHOA!
(The rollercoaster cart he's in transforms into a small yellow box with a red dot on it. He holds the box, and glides down the rollercoaster on the box)
Ronald: (On screen) I DON'T NEED TO SURVIVE, THANKS TO THE POWER OF YAK! THE ONLY ORIGINAL ALL WHITE MEAT CHICKEN SANDWICH! (The box shines, and he keeps riding on it like a tiny square surfboard)
Bagel: Yak. Yak, where have I heard that word before?
Talking Yak: (in exaggerated goofy British accent) You called?
Bagel: No, it was somewhere more important.
Talking Yak: (with accent) I AM DEEPLY OFFENDED!
Bagel: It was- (Bagel freezes for a second and turns to ssj) SSJ! NICKFLOWER'S BACK!
To be continued
Right now
(The five of them are on a Who Shot Grampa's Hat themed water ride)
Bagel: It has to mean something. IT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING!
ssj: Bagel, NickFlower is my sworn enemy, but... don't you think this could be a coincidence?
Bagel: YAK HAS RETURNED AND IT'S GOING TO DESTROY US ALL!
ssj: Stay calm!
Bagel: I AM CALMERER THAN YOU ARE OR EVER WILL BE!
Brick: THIS EPISODE HAS TOO MUCH CAPS LOCK!
BobSponge: I AM NOW SCREAMING!
Everyone: AAAAHHHHHH!
(We then cut to them on the edge of the Fiscal Cliff, looking over the edge)
ssj: Everyone be careful. I don't think these railings are too small.
(Brick falls over the edge into a black void of nothingness)
ssj, Bagel, SpongeCob, and BobSponge: BRIIIIIIIIIICK!
(They look over the edge. There is a popping noise, and Brick appears behind him)
Brick: Man, these life cheats really do work!
(After that, we cut to the group walking home at sunset)
Brick: That was awesome!
BobSponge: Yeah, when I got that really cool souvenir, and that guy was like, "Sir, please refrain from vandalizing the artificial cactuses, they're highly combustible!" and I just said "You're highly combustible!".
SpongeCob: Yeah, that was really cool.
(ssj and Bagel lag behind)
ssj: Bagel, I'm saying this as a friend, but you're way too paranoid.
Bagel: I'm not paranoid. I mean, I am, but NickFlower almost destroyed our city. His plan almost worked. I mean, we had to work hard to fix the city before the next episode. (ssj looks confused) That is, episode of our lives. Heh heh. Okay, maybe I am paranoid, but I'm just trying to keep my home from getting destroyed.
ssj: Yeah, you got a point there.
Bagel: Just to make sure, would you help me study one of those sandwiches? You know, see if there's anything evil about them.
ssj: Sure. Just to keep you from going insane. I bet it'll be fine, though.
(We zoom out to reveal Brick and SpongeCob running a stand for people gambling on whether Yak is evil or not)
E.V.I.L: I'll bet 24 million against me.
Bagel: ::dolphin noise::.
(We see ssj sneaking into Prez's lab and stealing equipment, while Bagel buys a Yak at McDonald's. They meet back up in Bagel's living room, where Bagel is about to analyze the burger with a machine)
Bagel: Okay, Mr. Yak. We've tried everything, but nothing has loosened your tongue.
(We see ssj looking on with an annoyed frown. You know, the type of face you'd reply to something really stupid with)
Bagel: This is your final chance.
(beat)
Bagel: (dryly) Okay, ssj. Rev up those analyzers.
(ssj plugs in something. We see a shot from the burger's "eyes" of it getting scanned by a laser. The laser points directly at the camera, and the episode ends)

SNEAK PEEK:
Bagel: What the- He didn't even buy these! He stole them or something!
ssj: The police should really do something about that guy!
(beat)
Bagel: Uh, yeah, they should.

Of course I'm not giving spoilers in the sneak peeks lol
Click to expand...
ooh can i be the guy in the story that likes candy?
 
Second part in the story arc!

Super ssj Spy
Written by BrickSponge2015
(Bagel and ssj are sitting in Bagel's living room)
Bagel: So, what did you find out?
ssj: So I scanned some of the burger's DNA and compared it to a chunk of the computers that got destroyed when NickFlower gave us the virus.
Bagel: And...?
ssj: It matched.
Bagel: Wait, what?
ssj: NickFlower's DNA is in the burger.
Bagel: Ew, that's gross!
(beat)
Bagel: Wait. Somehow we're doomed. THIS IS TERRIBLE!
(We cut to the outside of town hall. Storm goes inside and delivers a pizza to the receptionist. ssj, hiding behind the counter. He slips a letter into the pizza box. The receptionist throws the pizza box to a man in a suit, who gets into the elevator. He goes to the second floor. He passes the pizza to another man, who passes it to another man, who passes it to another man, who passes it to Kevin, who runs up two flights of stairs. Kevin then unlocks a door with a special key. The door opens to Moxley's office. Kevin locks the door, and throws the pizza onto Moxley's desk)
Moxley: Good job, Kevin! That's a new record!
Kevin: Thank you, sir. I mean-
Moxley: I AM THE QUEEN!
(Moxley and Kevin start eating the pizza)
Kevin: Boss, I think there's a note in this pizza box.
Moxley: Well, what does it say?
(Moxley reads it. We cut to Bagel and ssj running away from town hall)
Bagel: Good job, man!
ssj: Eh, I do what I can.
(Brick is walking by. The pizza box hits him in the head and he explodes. Bagel and ssj look up to see where the pizza box came from, and they see Moxley staring at them out of her window on the third floor)
Moxley: Hey, you! I saw your letter. What is this Yak you speak of?
Bagel: Read the letter!
(Moxley reads it)
Moxley: Kevin, here's 5000 dollars. Buy every Yak you can fit in the van!
(Kevin runs out of the building past Bagel and ssj)
Bagel: ssj, your letter worked! They're going to destroy all the Yaks! Or eat them, I think.
(Kevin drives into city hall with a minivan full of Yaks. A few dollars float out of the window and into Bagel's hands)
Bagel: What the- He didn't even buy these! He stole them or something!
ssj: The police should really do something about that guy!
(beat)
Bagel: Uh, yeah, they should.
(We cut to Kevin somehow driving up the stairs in the minivan. ssj is running after it. Kevin gets out of the van and opens the door to Moxley's office. ssj hides as Kevin opens the back of the van and shows Moxley the Yaks)
Moxley: Oh, wait, I'm so stupid! I remember what Yak is now! It's that corporation that teamed up with McDonald's to make sandwiches that's paying me to sponsor them. Did you use my card?
Kevin: Yeah, I can't believe we got them for free!
(ssj gasps runs down the stairs)
Moxley: The amazing thing is that you managed to turn a minivan around in a staircase.
Kevin: See, the thing about that is you need to keep a leg on the brake the whole time.
(beat)
Kevin: Oops.
(The minivan rolls down the stairs after ssj. ssj runs into the second floor, and the minivan rolls after him. He jumps into the elevator as it is closing, leaving his hat outside it. He presses a button, reopening the elevator, so he can reach to grab his hat)
ssj: Wait a minute! I don't wear a hat!
(The minivan is about to run ssj over, but the doors close on it. The elevator starts moving downwards with the minivan stuck in it, smashing it into the floor. It makes a hole in the ceiling on the first floor. ssj jumps out of the elevator, through the hole, and runs out the door. Everybody looks around, confused. The minivan then smashes through the ceiling completely, falls out of the elevator, and breaks through the ground on the first floor into a pit of nothingness. We cut to the Fiscal Cliff, where people are looking over the literal one's edge)
Tour Guide: Here is the literal fiscal cliff, first formed by erosion in 2012. Down there is the mysterious pit of nothingness. Some say it's a black hole!
(The crushed minivan flies out of the pit, and lands on the edge of the cliff)
Scientist: Now we have proof that black holes do spit things out on the other side! People, we have nothing to worry about!
Everyone: YAY!
(We cut back to ssj and Bagel outside town hall)
Bagel: So Moxley is a supporter of Yak! She doesn't know she's making a deal with NickFlower, she just knows that some corporation that teamed up with McDonald's is giving her money to advertise for them!
ssj: So what you're saying is that if Moxley is still president, we're still not safe?
Bagel: Exactly! But Moxley's automatically won every single election since she was first elected because we have no opponent!
ssj: So the only way to stop her is by running for president yourself?
Bagel: What? No! We just need to find someone that wants to be president, convince them that Yak is evil, and help them win!
(We cut to Bagel at a stand, with ssj holding a sign that says "Who wants to be president?" on it. There is a huge line of people. Bagel is talking to Spongy272)
Bagel: So here's your mission: You need to beat Moxley to ban the evil McDonald's Yak sandwich! Are you in?
Spongy: But I love Yak! THIS ISN'T WHAT WE PAID FOR!
Bagel: You aren't paying for anything.
(The line of people walk away, angry)
ssj: Maybe we need to get somebody president and tell them to ban Yak after that.
Bagel: Yeah! Getting people to vote for someone that's not Moxley shouldn't be hard.
(Behind them, Moxley is crowdsurfing)
Moxley: FREE YAKS FOR EVERYONE!
Random Person 1: YAY!
Random Person 2: WE LOVE YOU, MOXLEY!
Bagel: Okay, fine. I'll run for president.
ssj: (sarcastically) Wait, no, let's let some background character that's only shown up in like two episodes run for president instead!

Sneak peek for next episode:
(Bagel looks ahead, screams, and crashes through the window of Inside Out Burger)
IOB Employee: WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR ORDER FOR HERE OR TO GO SIR
(Bagel knocks out the IOB Employee, steals his clothes, and drives off)
News Anchor: This just in, it seems that an anonymous Inside Out Burger employee has stolen JakeFromStateFarm’s inherited fortu-
(BobSponge punches the news anchor employee)
BobSponge: IT’S WAFFLES! THEY ARE SYRUPY!
 
THE STORY CONTINUES

Money Bun
Written by BrickSponge2015
(We see JakeFromStateFarm giving a speech at his cousin's funeral)
Jake: My dear cousin, PersonFromBlahBlahInsurance, was always there for me. He was like a brother to me. Of course, my real brother died in battle with Geico at the tender age of 2. He died protecting his insurance discounts. (tears up) Excuse me.
(Everybody at the funeral starts clapping)
Jake: I will now read Person's will. To my cousin Jake, 9 centilliMYGOD.
(We cut to Bagel and ssj walking away from the funeral)
Bagel: That's so much money! I mean, that's like, 2000000000000000 times what I make in a day!
ssj: Is that even possible?
Bagel: Exactly. And I blame you.
ssj: I feel bad talking so much about what Jake inherited. I mean, I bet he's not thinking of all that money! He's thinking about his dead cousin.
(Jake drives by in a limo)
Jake: I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!
Limo Driver: Let me get that out for you.
(The Limo Driver reaches down Jake's throat and pulls out a million bucks)
Jake: SWAG HOMIES!
(Jake drives away)
ssj: He has so much money.
Bagel: Yeah, so?
ssj: Well, if you’re going to run for president, you’ll need money for your campaign.
Bagel: What do you mean?
ssj: Advertising! and bribes!
Bagel: Phht. I don’t need money for advertising! I can do it on my own!
ssj: ALL ON YOUR OWN?
Bagel: Well, of course, there’s my campaign manager helping me.
(Brick flies towards the earth at an incredible speed and crashes into the ground, leaving a huge crater)
ssj: Well, if Brick’s your campaign manager, what’s my job?
Bagel: Oh, ssj, you have the most important job of all.
(We cut to Moxley in her office. She presses a button on her desk, and ssj walks in)
ssj: Hey, Moxley! My man! Or woman!
Moxley: Greetings, chief of police ssj.
ssj: Hey-hi-hi-hey.
Moxley: You’re acting a bit odd today.
Bagel: (over walkie-talkie in ssj’s pocket) Abort the mission! ABORT THE MISSION!
(We cut to Brick using crayons to color in a poster that says “Only an idoit woludnt vote for Bagal”)
Bagel: Great work, Brick!
Brick: Yeah, I know it’s good, but I feel like it’s missing something.
Bagel and Brick: Hmmm…
(beat)
B and B: GLITTER GLUE!
(We see a musical montage with the music from the montage in Squidville of Bagel and Brick sprinkling glitter glue on the poster and laughing. The montage ends abruptly after, like, 6 seconds)
Bagel: Dude, we blew our budget already.
Brick: How?
Bagel: I was about to ask you the same thing!
Brick: We need to borrow money from someone!
Bagel: Well, JakeFromStateFarm has a ton of money.
Brick: OUR ALMIGHTY LORD AND SAVIOR
(We cut to Bagel knocking on the door of Jake’s new mansion, with the camera positioned to where Bagel is actually knocking on the camera)
Bagel: Dude, this isn’t going to work.
(Brick gives Bagel a thumbs up from a nearby bush. Bagel stares back at the camera, and Brick slowly disappears back into bush very slowly. Jake opens the door)
Jake: SUP MAI HOMIES
Bagel: Uh, Jake, I have to call in a favor since I helped you win that commercial time slot.
Jake: COME AT ME BRO
Bagel: Uh…
(Brick flies out of nowhere and punches Jake in the face)
Bagel: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
Brick: (James Bond-like) Like a bad neighbor, HateFarm won’t care.
Bagel: Uh… YOU were the one who knocked HIM out!
Brick: Shut up.
(We cut to Bagel and Brick driving away in Bagel’s car with several suitcases full of money)
Brick: DIGITAL PIRACY IS STEALING
Bagel: THIS WAS YOUR IDEA!
Brick: I AM NOW SCREAMING!
(The car drives down the hill that the mansion is on. An alarm goes off in the mansion)
Bagel: Dude, they’re on to us!
Brick: DRIVE FASTER!
(3 small round red balls with the StateFarm logo on them roll after the car down the hill)
Brick: What are those things?
Bagel: I don’t know, and I have no intention of finding out!
(Bagel drives out of the closing gate. The balls launch into the air and fly over the gate. Bagel drives away through the town)
Brick: BAGEL BAGEL BAGEL
Bagel: Brick, calm down! What is it?
Brick: Lasers.
(Bagel pokes his head out the window)
Bagel: Wha-
(Bagel nearly dodges a laser that one of the red balls shoots at him)
Bagel: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! What do we have to throw at them?
(Cut to Brick flying through the air, crashing into one of the red balls, bouncing off of it, and tumbling off into the distance)
Bagel: Well, that didn’t really do anything.
(Bagel looks ahead, screams, and crashes through the window of Inside Out Burger)
IOB Employee: WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR ORDER FOR HERE OR TO GO SIR
(Bagel knocks out the IOB Employee, steals his clothes, and drives off)
News Anchor: This just in, it seems that an anonymous Inside Out Burger employee has stolen JakeFromStateFarm’s inherited fortu-
(BobSponge punches the news anchor employee)
BobSponge: IT’S WAFFLES! THEY ARE SYRUPY!
(The camera goes to static as we cut to Bagel turning off the TV in his house. He and Brick sit in silence for a minute)
Brick: Let’s do it again!
Bagel: No.
 
VOAT 4 BAGAL
Written by BrickSponge2015
(We see Schadenfreude Street at sunrise. The birds are happily chirping, SBMtopia looks beautiful against the pinkish orangy sky, and… we hear really loud hammering sounds as Popeye walks out of his house, annoyed)
Popeye: What on earth is that noise?
(More people walk outside in their pajamas)
Poseidon: I have no idea.
E.V.I.L: (screaming at the top of his lungs) IT’S NOT POLITE TO MAKE LOUD NOISES WHILE OTHERS ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!
Jerry: WHAT HE SAID!
Grubby: Yeah, let’s get them!
BMC: TO THE PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES WAREHOUSE!
(We cut to Moxley and kevin inside town hall looking out the window at Bagel and Brick hammering posters onto things from above)
kevin: What are they up to?
(kevin watches for a minute, then looks back inside)
kevin: Oops. The emergency announcement mic is on.
(kevin turns off a microphone and the hammering becomes much quieter)
kevin: That’s better.
(We see some speakers in the city turn off right as the mob of people leaves the pitchforks and torches warehouse)
Storm: It stopped!
(Everyone cheers)
Ling-Ling: WAIT! What are we gonna do with all of these pitchforks and torches?
(beat)
Prez: I KNOW! LET’S KILL EACH OTHER!
(Everybody starts trying to killing each other as Prez runs away evilly laughing. We cut to Bagel and Brick putting “VOAT 4 BAGAL” posters on random things)
Bagel: Are you sure this’ll work?
Brick: Yeah, it’ll be fine.
(We cut to a shot of Moxley from below from the waist up with dramatic lighting and fire in the background)
Moxley: (demonic voice) KEEEEEVVVVVVVIIIINNNNNN!
(The fire disappears, the lighting goes back to normal and we change angles so she’s just standing normally by the window looking at kevin)
Moxley: Bring me the Starbucks.
(kevin walks outside past a post holding up a power line and walks offscreen, then walks backwards and looks at the post)
kevin: Wait a minute…
(kevin tears off a piece of paper)
kevin: “VOAT 4 BAGAL”? What does that mean?
(beat)
kevin: Well, I’m off to Starbucks! Better take this with me and ask around about it on the way.
(kevin walks away holding the poster. We cut to kevin walking by Brick and stopping to talk to him)
kevin: Excuse me… do you know what this is?
(kevin holds up the poster)
Brick: Oh yeah! That’s a campaign ad I made.
kevin: Campaign ad?
Brick: Yeah, my friend Bagel’s running for mayor this year!
kevin: … Excuse me, what?
Brick: (slowly) My friend Bagel is running for mayor this year. In November. On election day, you vote for him. (speeds up) So want a free glowstick?
kevin: I’m good.
(Creepy closeup on Brick’s face)
Brick: (demonic voice) YOU NEEEEEEEEED ONNNNNNNNEEE
(kevin slowly backs away, and then starts running)
Brick: Huh. I guess he doesn’t like (demonic voice and closeup) GLOWSTICKS.
(We cut to kevin opening the door to Moxley’s office and running inside)
kevin: SIR! I mean, MA’AM! I mean-
Moxley: WAHT SPIT IT OUT KAVAN
kevin: You okay?
Moxley: (demonic voice and closeup) GIVE ME THE STARBUCKS (suddenly goes back to normal)
(beat)
(kevin looks around at the ceiling)
kevin: What is with this episode?
(beat)
(Nothing happens for like 15 seconds, then Moxley looks at the clock and looks back. Then nothing else happens for a few seconds, when kevin’s eyes suddenly get wide)
kevin: Oh yeah. MOXXXXXXXLEEEEEEEY!
Moxley: WHHHHAAAAAAAT?
kevin: YOU HAVE A COMPETITORRRRRRRRRR!
Moxley: WHAT DO YOU MEEEEEAAAAAAN?
kevin: SOMEBODY ELSE IS RUNNING FOR MAYYYYYYYYYOORRRRRRRRRRR!
Moxley: WHY IS THAT BAAAAAADDDDD
kevin: BECAUSE YOU MIGHT NOT STILL BE MAYOR NEXT YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAR!
Moxley: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO
Moxley and kevin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(We cut to a shot of Bagel’s house at nighttime with the lights on inside. Suddenly, a police car flies out of somewhere offscreen and crashes through the front of Bagel’s house and gets stuck in the wall)
Police Officer: YOU’RE UNDER ARREST!
Bagel: For what?
Police Officer: DON’T YOU SASS ME MAH BOI
(The police officer pulls out a gun)
Police Officer: PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!
Bagel: Okay.
(Bagel punches the police officer in his eyes)
Police Officer: OOOOOWWWWWW
(Bagel runs outside through the giant hole in his wall that the police officer made and runs down the street to the left)
Bagel: AAAAAAAAHHHH HELP ME HELP ME AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
(Bagel starts knocking on BobSponge’s door)
Bagel: BOBSPONGE BOBSPONGE THERE’S AN INSANE COP AFTER ME HELP OPEN UP OPEN THE DOOR NOWHOWHOW!
(BobSponge swings the door open very fast to the outside, hitting Bagel in the face)
BobSponge: Bagel? Where are you?
(A horribly disfigured Bagel slowly crawls out from behind the door)
Bagel: Right here, buddy.
BobSponge: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! A MONSTER!
(BobSponge pulls out a piece of wood with a nail in it)
Bagel: NO BOBSPONGE DON’T
(BobSponge swings to hit Bagel but Bagel rolls out of the way just in time so BobSponge instead hits his porch)
BobSponge: WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY FRIEND?
(BobSponge tries to pull the board with a nail in it out of his porch and accidentally lifts up his entire house off the ground)
BobSponge: CATCH THIS, MONSTER!
(BobSponge swings the board which sends his house flying at Bagel from behind)
Bagel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
(Bagel jumps out of the way to the right at the end of the street. BobSponge’s house crashes into Brick’s house, destroying them both. The police officer pulls up next to BobSponge and holds up a picture of Bagel)
Police Officer: Have you seen this man?
(BobSponge rips the picture in half)
BobSponge: NOBODY CARES! THERE’S A MONSTER, HE WENT THAT WAY!
(We cut to Bagel rolling down a hill)
Bagel: OW! THIS IS REALLY PAINFUL! LIKE, THIS HURTS MORE THAN- okay the audience knows it hurts can we just get on with the plot?
(The police car drives straight to the end of the road, then turns right and goes off the road down a hill after Bagel)
Bagel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Police Officer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(The police officer jumps out of the police car and Bagel rolls off to the side as the police car speeds past him)
Bagel: (rolling) Phew! That was a close o-
(Bagel crashes into a tree. We see the police car speed down the hill towards a ditch. We then cut to a barn with a sign on it that says “Oreo Gun Range” inside the ditch with some farmers talking outside the barn)
Farmer: You see, when you’re running an Oreo gun range, you really have to-
(The police car crashes into the roof of the barn and sets the barn on fire)
Farmer: Ohhhhhhhhhh my…
(We cut to Bagel in handcuffs sitting in front of Moxley’s desk while Moxley sits at it)
Bagel: WHAT’S GOING ON, MOXLEY?
Moxley: Well, I heard you were running for mayor’s office this year.
Bagel: YEAH! TO BAN YAK! BECAUSE IT’S EVIL, AND NOBODY BELIEVES ME!
Moxley: (laughter)
Bagel: YOU THINK I’M INSANE, DON’T YOU!
Moxley: No, no, n-
Bagel: I’LL NEVER STOP TRYING TO SAVE THIS OBLIVIOUS CITY FROM-
Moxley: Let’s cut to the chase. I’ll give you 50000 dollars if you stop running for president.
(Bagel gets a goofy smile on his face)
Bagel: Hrmmmmmmmmmmmm- wait, did you arrest me just so you could bribe me?
Moxley: Kinda… I did do that, yeah.
Bagel: Well, okay. I ACCEPT YOUR OFFER!
The End
 
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