The SBM Show

Episode who cares
The Illuminati Problem
Written by BagelsinEurope and Award

(We cut to BobSponge's house)

BobSponge: Waiting...waiting...

(The mailman sneaks behind BobSponge's house)

Mailman: If I could secretly give out all this mail...I could avoid that sociopath...

(Mailman walks past the house to Poseidon's house)

Mailman: PHEW I MADE IT!

(BobSponge hears the mailman)

BobSponge: THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MAILMAN

Mailman: *gulp*

(The mailman runs away screaming)

BobSponge: I WANT MY PHONICS FUN!

Mailman: GET THE ::dolphin noise:: AWAY FROM ME

(The mailman zips in his car)

Mailman: Phew! That nutjob is in the dust!

Narrator: 800 miles later...

Mailman: Wow, this hill is steep. I'm gonna get out.

(Mailman reads a sign)

Mailman: Now entering Stanislaus national forest-OH MY HECK! How far have I been driving?

(A hand pops up on the hill)

(BobSponge climbs up)

BobSponge: MY PHONICS FUN

Mailman: YOU HAVE GONE OFF THE DEEP END

(The mailman starts driving again up the hill until he reaches the top)

Mailman: THIS IS DEATH OR DEATH. EITHER I FALL OFF A CLIFF, OR I FAVE THAT SOCIOPATH.

BobSponge: MY PHONICS FUN

Mailman: This seems like a no-brainer.

(Mailman jumps off the cliff)

BobSponge: Now I can get my phonics fun!

(The hill starts shaking)

BobSponge: OH NOOOO-

(A giant illuminati sign on a platform pops out of the ground)

Voice: YOU, BOBSPONGE PANTSQUARE, ARE THE CHOSEN ONE.

(BobSponge levitates onto the platform)

BobSponge: Do I get free food?

Voice: No, but you are now a member of the illuminati.

(The platform gravitates to a room in the sky. BobSponge sits on the chair.)

Illuminati President: MEMBERS OF THE ILLUMINATI, I HAVE INITIATED A NEW MEMBER.

BobSponge: Yay!

Illuminati President: Your job is to not create the acts, but depromote the acts. You will devolve humans by making it seem less and less like we exist, ultimately giving us more power.

BobSponge: wat

Narrator: Meanwhile in SBMtopia...

Brick: SMBtopia has silaibles 6 . 6 is a multiple of 3, 3 A TRIANGLE and the 2 what do humans have 2 of eyes a triangle and a eye IlLuMiNtUz CoFrEnD!!

Bagel: What does that have to do with anything?

BobSponge: Hey guys! I'm a member of the illuminati now!

(Lego drops his phone)

Lego: SHILT IS GETTIN REAL HERE

Narrator: Meanwhile again...

Illuminati President: That idiot! You were not supposed to reveal-

Illuminati Member: But wait! What if he is improving our image! Maybe he will make us look good so people that believe we exist will give us more power!

Illuminati President: You're right! He's a genius!

Narrator: Meanwhile, in the lowlands...

Bagel: Now that they know the illuminati, everyone's trying to join! They may get enough power to take over the world!

Drifter: They already have. But I'm still joining!

Brick: Same!

BMC: Yep.

Bagel: IS THERE ANYONE WHO I CAN TRUST?

Voice: Me.

(Award walks out of the dark)

Award: I feared this day would come.

Bagel: What shall we do?

Award: I've got powers, remember?

Bagel: Oh yeah. Let's take them down.

(Bagel grabs on to Brick's foot)

Bagel: He's flying in! Grab onto my leg!

(The three fly into a giant room)

Illuminati President: Wow, this city is full of people! We can gain power with all these losers to take down everyone else.

Bagel: No.

Illuminati President: You dare to challenge the illuminati?

Bagel and Award: Yes.

(The whole room explodes)

Bagel: Well...that escalated quickly.

(A giant robot forms)

Illuminati President: TRY TO DESTROY ME NOW SCRUB

Award: I got this.

(All of the parts of the robot instantly disassemble into a pile)

Bagel: HORRAY!

(The robot auto reforms)

Illuminati President: Ha! Nice try, loser!

Bagel: Uhh...Award?

Award: My powers can't do too much else. All I can do now is...RUN!

(The two start running)

Illuminati President: FIRE THE BOMBERS!

(Two giant crash landing airplanes fall)

Bagel: THEY DID DO 9/11

(Bagel and Award go to hide)

Bagel: ARE YOU SURE THATS ALL YOU CAN DO?

Award: All I have now is...the power of Dolan.

Bagel: gooby pls

Award: STAHP EET DOLAN

(The robot starts to fall)

Illuminati President: WHOA

(everyone falls out of the robot into a black hole)

Illuminati Member: YOU WILL Pay for this....

(Bagel and Award just sit there, mouth agape)

Bagel: WE WON!

Award: YAY!

Bagel: Wait...wasn't pretty much everyone in SBMtopia part of the illuminati?

Award: Uhh....

(A tumbleweed blows)

END
 
My character's powers can result to using 7 emeralds (all 7 go to a super form but each one can help me slow time to my advantage and gain a little power) as an fyi. ;)
Iknowitwasfortheplotbutitcouldresultinthatifitmakesmycharactermoreuseful
 
Award said:
My character's powers can result to using 7 emeralds (all 7 go to a super form but each one can help me slow time to my advantage and gain a little power) as an fyi. ;)
Iknowitwasfortheplotbutitcouldresultinthatifitmakesmycharactermoreuseful
Click to expand...
...What?
 
BagelsinEurope said:
Episode 23b
The Long Haul
Written by BagelsinEurope

It was a wonderful day in SBMtopia, when suddenly-
Narrator: WTF WHO STOLE MY LINE
(crickets)
Narrator: Oh yeah. That guy doesn't exist. Whatever, time to die and resume the plot!
(Narrator dies in a pit of lava)
Bagel: But who made that pit of lava?
Satan: I DID
Brick: DADDY IM SCARED
Sketchy Sketchpad: GREEN IS NOT A CREATIVE COLOR
Bagel: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US
Satan: Play me the greatest song in the world!
Bagel: what no Tenacious D already did this
Satan: BUT THAT WAS JUST A TRIBUTE
Bagel: If I must, then okay.

This is the best song ever made in the world
This is the best song ever made in the world
Other songs are good, even some are really good
But they are not the best songs ever made in the world
It has a lot of good beats and a lot of good singing
And the music is so good, even scientists don't know what it is
You can listen to it anywhere, on a bike or on a different bike
You can dance to it any time, in the morning or with your arms
You can also dance to it at other times, like at lunch-

Satan: I'VE HEARD ENOUGH! Just buy me a caramel frappuccino at Starbucks.
Bagel: WE SHALL BUY THE COFFEE
Satan: ITS A CARAMEL FRAPPUCCINO
Brick: STOP MUCKING AROUND WE'LL LOSE TIME FOR OUR SHOW
Satan: You have 11 hours
(Brick and a Bagel randomly appear in a car and start driving on the highway)
Will Ferrell: WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY
(Will Ferrell dies)
Bagel: Okay, StarbucksTopia is 18 miles from here.
Brick: WATCH OUT FOR THE ROAD
(Bagel slams on his brakes)
Bagel: NOT IN A LAG JAM
Brick: Shrimp, this lag jam spreads for 18 miles!
Bagel: HOW CONVENIENT WRITERS
Brick: Let me look at the road signs..."StarbucksTopia" 600 min...
Bagel: THATS 10 HOURS
Narrator: 4 hours later...
Bagel: So...hungry...
(Bagel sees Brick as a giant pie)
Bagel: YUM YUM EAT EM UP
Brick: What are you doing?
(Bagel starts foaming in the mouth)
Brick: Not good.
Bagel: YUMMY
(Bagel starts eating Brick's flesh)
Brick: STAHP
(bagel snaps into reality)
Bagel: Oh. Hehe. That didn't happen.
Brick: DADDY THE GUYS MEAN TO ME
Sketchy Sketchpad: try to think creatively
Brick: I've got it! Let's play craps!
Bagel: Okay.
(Brick rolls the dice)
Brick: Target number is 8!)
(Bagel rolls the dice)
Bagel: 8!
(The 8 flips to a 7)
Bagel: WHY MUST THE UNIVERSE CONFOUND ME SO
(Brick rolls the dice)
Brick: Hey, I got 8! I win!
Bagel: I'm gonna take a nap.
(We see Bagel's dream)
Bagel: Huh...what is going on?
(A giant egg comes flying down a rollercoaster)
Egg: LETS PLAY SCATTEGORIESI
Brick: MAMA MAMA EGGY
Bagel: Oh no. The egg is falling right where-
(Bagel gets hit by the egg and wakes up)
Brick: It's been 10 hours! The traffic stopped!
Bagel: Oh boy! Let's go to StarbucksTopia!
(Bagel takes an exit and drives into StarbucksTopia)
Bagel: We're here-*gasps*
(The screen is blank and just says:

404 Error: Permission declined
We're sorry, but Starbucks is under maintenance. Check back later!)
Bagel: Uh-oh...
(Satan appears)
Satan: It's been 11 hours! Now, how about that Caramel Frappuccino?
Bagel: Uh...they're closed...
Satan: Excuses, excuses. Welp, time to kill you.
Bagel: I guess the wall from last episode was right...we are gonna die!
(Satan kills everyone)
Satan: Ah. That felt nice. But I have a confession to make. I'm not actually satan. Satan doesn't exist. I am-
(Satan reveals to be Bill O'Reilly)
Bill O'Reilly: IM THE GUY ON FOX NEWS
E.V.I.L.: worse tbh
Bill O'Reilly: You want me to kill you?
E.V.I.L.: NO DON'T! I HAVE YET TO EAT THE WORLD'S SUPPLY OF NUTELLA!
Bill O'Reilly: Fine. But you must unclog my toilet! TAKE THE PLUNGER!
(Bill O'Reilly gives E.V.I.L. a plunger which causes Bill O'Reilly to melt into chocolate pudding)
FIN
Click to expand...
0MG LIBR4L BIA5!!!11!1!11!1!1111!1!1!111!1!1!1!1!!111

i want in sh0w i want in sh0w i like disney classics
 
THIS FRIDAY!
DUE TO ME BEING AN IDIOT AND FORGETTING ON 6/19, WE'VE GOT TWO BRAND NEW BACK-TO-BACK EPISODES OF KINGDUMB!
Promo for Meat Fedora:

THIS FRIDAY!
MEAT FEDORA COMES TO TOWN ON THEIR "I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS" TOUR!
FRIDAY!
FRIDAY!
FRIDAY!
Guy on radio: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'RE OUR 117TH CALLER!
King: I am?
Guy on radio: YES! SIR, YOU'VE JUST WON THE TWO LAST TICKETS TO THE MEAT FEDORA CONCERT TONIGHT!
King: Oh. Can I get cheese on that?
Guy on radio: ...what?
King: DOUBLE THE TOPPING
Guy on radio: Um... okay. We'll get your tickets to you right away.
King: Well, that sounds like a ripoff.
Guy on radio: But the tickets are free!
King: NO, THIS IS PATRICK!
(The king hangs up)
King: I am not a planetarium.
KINGDUMB!
DON'T MISS 1 OF 2 BRAND NEW BACK-TO-BACK EPISODES LIKE NO OTHER!

Promo for Viewer Participation:

Narrator: In an episode of Kingdumb like no other...
(A plane crashes next to the castle)
Narrator: Secrets will be revealed!
Princess: I have a confession to make. I’m not a woman.
Narrator: A quest must be fufiled!
Barack Obama: The king, knight, princess and throne are our only hope.
Narrator: And something so shocking, so insane, will be revealed...
(The knight dies)
(The throne jumps out of an airplane)
Throne: THIS IS FOR MY COUNTRY!
Narrator: Catch it all in the most exciting Kingdumb episode ever, where YOU get to help out the gang on their adventure!
Princess: Everything we love is gone!
THIS FRIDAY!
DON'T MISS THE 2ND OF 2 ALL NEW BACK-TO-BACK EPISODES!
WOOOOOOOOOOO!


NEW FRIDAYS!
SLIF LIM SCHOOL!
(clip unfinished or idk which one's airing aaaaahhh help)
TWO NEW EPISODES OF KINGDUMB!
King: SOMEONE HELP ME
Man: What’s wrong?
King: I WON THESE TICKETS TO THE MEAT FEDORA CONCERT IN A RADIO CONTEST AND THEN THEY MADE THE KNIGHT AND THE PRINCESS TRY TO KILL EACH OTHER AND RIGHT NOW THEY’RE KILLING THE THRONE AND I DON’T WANT THEM ANYMORE
Same Man: Huh. Interesting dilemma. I could take the tickets off your hands.
King: OKAY
Teenage Girl: NO THEY’RE MINE
(The teenage girl attacks the man)
King: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
(The king runs away. Then, the knight and the princess run outside out of the castle, over to the teenage girl and the man fighting on the ground)
Knight: STOP FIGHTING! THE KING HAS THE TICKETS! Wait, where’d he go?
(They see the king running away)
Man, Teenage Girl, Knight and Princess: THEY’RE MINE
THE SBM SHOW!
(we see the city at sunrise and everything is peaceful)
Moxley: KEVIN! GET ME MY COFFEE!
kevIn: Yes, sir. I MEAN MA'AM! I MEAN-
Moxley: What is wrong with you?
(kevin stabs Moxley in the face)
kevin: I KNOW NOTHING!
(static)
STARTING WHENEVS WE FEEL LIKE IT THIS FRIDAY!
 
Narrator: Its the episode you've been waiting for since you were told you were waiting for it...

Episode Something
22 Short Films About SBMtopia
Featuring the talents of: BagelsinEurope, BrickSponge2015, Poseidonatello, Lego Spongy, and Spongy272

(static)
(we see the city at sunrise and everything is peaceful)
Moxley: KEVIN! GET ME MY COFFEE!
kevIn: Yes, sir. I MEAN MA'AM! I MEAN-
Moxley: What is wrong with you?
(kevin stabs Moxley in the face)
kevin: I KNOW NOTHING!
(static)
Brick: QUICK! SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!
(Bagel shoots Brick)
(static)
GriffBob: WHY WAS THE LAST SKIT LITERALLY A REENACTMENT OF ASDFMOVIE
(Bagel punches GriffBob)
Bagel: GET GENERAL CAR INSURANCE
(Brick and Bagel drive away in a CGI car)
Brick and Bagel: FOR A GREAT LOW RATE YOU CAN GET ONLINE, GO TO THE GENERAL AND SAVE SOME TIME
(the two fall off a cliff)
(static)
King: This is the right show!
(Josh from Life of Me suddenly appears)
Josh: u sure
(static)
Poseidon: I love Imagine Dragons!
Drifter: I'm imagining you.
Poseidon: Wait whaaaaaaAAAAAAAA
(Poseidon disappears into thin air)
(static)
(Vladimir Putin suddenly appears)
Bagel: NOPE (punches Vladimir Putin
(static)
Bagel: I am real.
Prez: No, you're not.
Bagel: NOOOOooooooo (Disappears into thin air)
Prez: Wow, I only had to do that?
(static)
Ling-Ling: AND EVEN A BEAR
(static)
Garnet: Go ahead and try to hit me if you're (looks at smudged writing on hand) Bagel
(Bagel punches Garnet)
(static)
Prez: LETS GO TO THE ARCADE
(Prez walks in the arcade)
Prez: Hmm "Rat Trap". Seems fun.
(Prez starts playing, and the title screen is in Comic Sans)
Prez: AAAH ITS IN COMIC SANS KILL IT
(Prez destroys the machine)
Arcade Guy: Sir, you're gonna have to pay for that
(Prez kills the Arcade Guy)
Prez: I KNOW NOTHING
(static)
Bagel: Even if you're not alright
I can still destroy my friend
Still hasn't took the bite
Have a bowl, Mr. Squidward
Popeye: overused meme
Bagel: With the sun down, I ate Sunday
Popeye: Why Sunday? Why not Monday? What is wrong with this song?
Bagel: You wrote it.
(static)
Waiter#1:Here's your coffee ma'am.
Spongy272: Thanks! Here's your tip sir.*gives a penny*
Waiter#1:... Oh.Thanks ma'am, I'll never forget the day you gave me such an awesome amount of money as a tip.
Spongy272: Awww! How sweet .
Waiter#1: ...*turns around and starts walking away while angrily mumbling*
Spongy272: *Sips her coffee* ALRIGHTY TIME TO BEAT WHOEVER THIS BMC PLAYER IS.BRING ON THE PAAAAAAAAINN!!!!!!
ONE WEEK LATER
Waiter#2: Ma'am, I'm concerned for your health. You haven't slept or done anything else for a whole entire week except ordering large cups of coffee and using your laptop!...When do you plan on leaving?
Spongy272: NOT...UNTIL...I BEAT..BMC...
Meanwhile in BMC's residence...
Big Meaty Claws: Man, she's a tough nut to crack...too bad she doesn't realize that I'm using a cheat code. Hehe.
(static)
Lego: THIS IS A DEBUT
Bagels: HERE'S A PHONE (throws Lego a phone)
Lego: KEWL (Walks off of cliff while looking at his phone) IM DED NAO
(static)
(BobSponge flies across the screen on fire)
BobSponge: AND IIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU
(static)
Bagel: TO VICTORY!
(Bagel rides E.V.I.L. to victory)
(static)
Bagel: Hey, did you buy the new apple watch?
Brick: Yep!
(We see Brick wearing a giant apple on top of a watch)
Brick: See?
(Bagel facepalms)
(static)
Poseidon: I can say stuff and make it real!
Prez: Really?
Poseidon: Yeah! Prez.
Prez: Wait, I'm not real? aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAA
(Prez disappears into thin air)
(static)
Prohibit: The world is your oyster.
(C418 music starts playing)
Brick: I ASKED FOR SHRIMP
(static)
Bagel and Brick: IT'S BABY POPEYE THE LIVING BABY DOLL
(Static)
Spoderman: hello is teh spoderman
Spoderman: if you liekd this skit rate comint and subskrieb
(static)
DigitalDistraction: JonTron
Bagel: NOPE.avi
TheTopSheep: wait what why are you speaking in DigitalDistraction memes
(DigitalDistraction kills everybody)
DigitalDistraction: DESTROY BUILD DESTROY
(static)
King: WATCH KINGDUMB
Bagel: GET OUTTA MY SHOW
Lego: WATCH SLIF LIM SCHOOL
Bagel: GET OUTTA MY SHOW
Me: WATCH LIFE OF ME
Bagel: GET OUTTA MY SHOW
Some Chihuahua: WATCH THE NOT SO WONDERFUL WORLD OF SOME CHIHUAHUA
Bagel: I CREATED YOU SO WE’RE COOL RIGHT
Some Chihuahua: YEAH
King, Lego and Brick: RACIST
(static)
Brick: IT'S A MAGICAL PONY FLYING THROUGH THE SKY
(Brick stabs Popeye in the face)
(static)
Bagel: Okay, how do you eject the tape?
Brick: It's the red button.
Bagel: You sure?
Brick: Yeah, it's definitely eject.
Bagel: Alright. Aw, man, I can't wait to see this!
(Bagel deletes all of the camera's data)
(static)
RL Brick: WHY WAS THAT JUST THE ENDING OF THE TAWOG EPISODE THE TAPE WITH SBM SHOW CHARACTERS?
BobSponge: Wait... how are you talking after the ending of the episode?
(beat)
RL Brick: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
GriffBob: THAT WAS 25 SHORT FILMS IDIOT
RL Bagel: IT'S A METAPHOR
Darwin: THANK YOU GREG
(Bagel and Brick break through the screen holding Popeye)
Bagel and Brick: IT'S THE ANNIHILATOR
(Your screen shatters into a million pieces)
 
3 ALL NEW BACK TO BACK EPISODES OF SUNNY MEADOWS PREMIERING SUNDAY BECAUSE ALL THE EPISODES WORD FILES WERE CORRUPTED!
In the Series Premiere meet our two heroes Mike and Jessica as they try to get rich by scamming in the two part special series premiere "Mexican Tap Water", and then Mike and Jessica become hostages in the episode "Hostages in a Hot Topic"
 
''22 Short Films About SBMtopia'' Omg best episode yet! I loved reading other user's skit and I'm also happy mines starred in it as well;D Bravo! :clapping: :clapping: <3 :yes: :thumb1:
 
We've got a real treat for you next week- 2 new episodes of The SBM Show! On Friday we have Fishing written by Bagels and Award, and on Saturday Firework Fools written by Bagel.
 
BrickSponge2015 said:
We've got a real treat for you next week- 2 new episodes of The SBM Show! On Friday we have Fishing written by Bagels and Award, and on Saturday Firework Fools written by Bagel.
Click to expand...
you could just give me chocolate

that is also an acceptable treat
 
BrickSponge2015 said:
We've got a real treat for you next week- 2 new episodes of The SBM Show! On Friday we have Fishing written by Bagels and Award, and on Saturday Firework Fools written by Bagel.
Click to expand...
...Sure....
 
Award said:
...Sure....
Click to expand...
Well, it's kind of a funny story....

This episode was originally supposed to be part of 22 short films, but I thought it was a guest written episode and added the second half. Still, the episode is here in it's misinterpreted glory.

Fishing
Written by Award and BagelsinEurope:

*We cue all SBMtopians at a lake fishing*
Bagel: You know this isn't what we meant when we agreed to go to a go fish tournament.
Bobsponge: I thought only bingo competitions existed.
IAmBagel: Oh Europe, this is relaxing, plus it wasn't my fault I recieved that text that said fishing instead of go fish. *looks on his phone to see that he did get a message right after saying it was a typo* Um... *throws phone into the lake.
Bagel: What was that about?
IAmBagel: NOTHING!
Prez: Well with my invention the fish should come faster. *holds up a tiny machine that gets knocked off due to IAmBagel's throw* YOU IDIOT! *bobsponge and Bagel hold him back with no effort due to him being only a hamster* I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE SIGNED UP FOR THAT TEST OR YOU'D ALL BE MY SLAVES!
Brick: Remind me why we haven't turned him into jail ever yet?
Griff: Because the statistics show that he has done no damage whatsoever to SBMtopia.
Prez: WHY YOU SON OF A-
IAmBagel: Hey I got a bite! *everyone watches IAmBagel as he reels it in, and it turns out to be the largest fish ever caught in history, but IAmBagel falls into the water* HELP, CAN'T SWIM, SHOULD'VE WATCHED FOREIGN EXERCISE VIDEOS COUSIN SENT LAST SUMMER! *sinks farther into the water*
Bobsponge: Should somebody save him or let his ignorance be his end?
Bagel: I don't know so let's be Dora and GO TO THE AUDIENCE!
A: We save IAmBagel
B: We let IAmBagel drown to his death
C: Random members start fighting over who gets the fish
(silence)
Bagel: Since the audience doesn't actually exist, were just going to do all 3 in one!
Bagel: I'm coming for you IAmBagel!
(Bagel jumps in the water)
Bagel: BLBBB BLBBB
(Bagel pulls IAmBagel out)
Bagel: ARE YOU ALIVE
(IAmBagel just stays there)
Prez: I think he's dead.
(Bagel kicks IAmBagel into the water)
Bagel: Okay, now who gets the fish?
BobSponge: Me!
Bagel: Hold on, I think I deserve it since I tried to save IAmBagel!
Popeye: No, I deserve it because you're all idiots!
Prez: No I deserve it because my plans are always ruined!
(Everyone starts fighting over the fish)
Bagel: MY FISH
Popeye: MY FISH
Brick: BIG FISH VIDEO GAMES
(Everyone gets so beat up they stop)
Bagel: I can't take this anymore...
BobSponge: Me too. I'm gonna go home and re-read a bunch of Phonics Fun issues.
Popeye: You know what I'm beat too.
(Everyone except Prez walks away)
Prez: I WIN! THE FISH IS MINE!
(Prez throws the fish in the air, and it falls into the water)
Prez: Oops.
(silence)
Prez: Well, never mind. I'm out.
(Prez walks away)
(In the water, the fish falls onto IAmBagel)
(IAmBagel wakes up and swims up to the dock holding the fish)
IAmBagel: Huehuehue, I can actually breathe underwater for hours! THE FISH IS MINE! MINE!
Fish: Screw you guys, I'm going home.
(The fish jumps in the water)
IAmBagel: WHY MUST THE UNIVERSE CONFOUND ME SO
The End
 
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