The SBM Show

Episode 23b
The Long Haul
Written by BagelsinEurope

It was a wonderful day in SBMtopia, when suddenly-
Narrator: WTF WHO STOLE MY LINE
(crickets)
Narrator: Oh yeah. That guy doesn't exist. Whatever, time to die and resume the plot!
(Narrator dies in a pit of lava)
Bagel: But who made that pit of lava?
Satan: I DID
Brick: DADDY IM SCARED
Sketchy Sketchpad: GREEN IS NOT A CREATIVE COLOR
Bagel: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US
Satan: Play me the greatest song in the world!
Bagel: what no Tenacious D already did this
Satan: BUT THAT WAS JUST A TRIBUTE
Bagel: If I must, then okay.

This is the best song ever made in the world
This is the best song ever made in the world
Other songs are good, even some are really good
But they are not the best songs ever made in the world
It has a lot of good beats and a lot of good singing
And the music is so good, even scientists don't know what it is
You can listen to it anywhere, on a bike or on a different bike
You can dance to it any time, in the morning or with your arms
You can also dance to it at other times, like at lunch-

Satan: I'VE HEARD ENOUGH! Just buy me a caramel frappuccino at Starbucks.
Bagel: WE SHALL BUY THE COFFEE
Satan: ITS A CARAMEL FRAPPUCCINO
Brick: STOP MUCKING AROUND WE'LL LOSE TIME FOR OUR SHOW
Satan: You have 11 hours
(Brick and a Bagel randomly appear in a car and start driving on the highway)
Will Ferrell: WELL THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY
(Will Ferrell dies)
Bagel: Okay, StarbucksTopia is 18 miles from here.
Brick: WATCH OUT FOR THE ROAD
(Bagel slams on his brakes)
Bagel: NOT IN A LAG JAM
Brick: Shrimp, this lag jam spreads for 18 miles!
Bagel: HOW CONVENIENT WRITERS
Brick: Let me look at the road signs..."StarbucksTopia" 600 min...
Bagel: THATS 10 HOURS
Narrator: 4 hours later...
Bagel: So...hungry...
(Bagel sees Brick as a giant pie)
Bagel: YUM YUM EAT EM UP
Brick: What are you doing?
(Bagel starts foaming in the mouth)
Brick: Not good.
Bagel: YUMMY
(Bagel starts eating Brick's flesh)
Brick: STAHP
(bagel snaps into reality)
Bagel: Oh. Hehe. That didn't happen.
Brick: DADDY THE GUYS MEAN TO ME
Sketchy Sketchpad: try to think creatively
Brick: I've got it! Let's play craps!
Bagel: Okay.
(Brick rolls the dice)
Brick: Target number is 8!)
(Bagel rolls the dice)
Bagel: 8!
(The 8 flips to a 7)
Bagel: WHY MUST THE UNIVERSE CONFOUND ME SO
(Brick rolls the dice)
Brick: Hey, I got 8! I win!
Bagel: I'm gonna take a nap.
(We see Bagel's dream)
Bagel: Huh...what is going on?
(A giant egg comes flying down a rollercoaster)
Egg: LETS PLAY SCATTEGORIESI
Brick: MAMA MAMA EGGY
Bagel: Oh no. The egg is falling right where-
(Bagel gets hit by the egg and wakes up)
Brick: It's been 10 hours! The traffic stopped!
Bagel: Oh boy! Let's go to StarbucksTopia!
(Bagel takes an exit and drives into StarbucksTopia)
Bagel: We're here-*gasps*
(The screen is blank and just says:

404 Error: Permission declined
We're sorry, but Starbucks is under maintenance. Check back later!)
Bagel: Uh-oh...
(Satan appears)
Satan: It's been 11 hours! Now, how about that Caramel Frappuccino?
Bagel: Uh...they're closed...
Satan: Excuses, excuses. Welp, time to kill you.
Bagel: I guess the wall from last episode was right...we are gonna die!
(Satan kills everyone)
Satan: Ah. That felt nice. But I have a confession to make. I'm not actually satan. Satan doesn't exist. I am-
(Satan reveals to be Bill O'Reilly)
Bill O'Reilly: IM THE GUY ON FOX NEWS
E.V.I.L.: worse tbh
Bill O'Reilly: You want me to kill you?
E.V.I.L.: NO DON'T! I HAVE YET TO EAT THE WORLD'S SUPPLY OF NUTELLA!
Bill O'Reilly: Fine. But you must unclog my toilet! TAKE THE PLUNGER!
(Bill O'Reilly gives E.V.I.L. a plunger which causes Bill O'Reilly to melt into chocolate pudding)
FIN
 
OH MY I NEED TO POST THE NEW SLIF LIM SCEWL
 
Lego Spongy said:
OH MY I NEED TO POST THE NEW SLIF LIM SCEWL
Click to expand...
Yeah, thanks a lot for not posting it and making me rush to post it making my iPad crash and die for two minutes and have me have to log back in after using a ton of bandwith. Please try to remember next time.
 
Upcoming new eps:
6/5- The SBM Show Theater 8000
6/12- eDismay
6/19- The Illiminati Problem
6/26- 22 Short Films About SBMtopia
7/3- Fishing
7/4- Firework Fools
7/10- Chat Conversation
7/17- This Is Not A Good Exercise
7/24- Overpass Troubles
7/31- The YouChew Revolution
8/7- I Ate Those Food (special)
2 Week Hiatus (just don't complain, we have so much planned for the end of the season that it'll be worth it)
8/28- The Multiverse (special)
9/4- Behind The Screens
9/11- Apocalyptic SBM Show
9/18- The Ronald McDonald Experience
9/25- Super ssj Spy
10/2- Money Bun
(33B-40 will be announced later)
 
idk ask Bagels he'll probably say yes
fyi to anyone who wants to be in the show you won't appear until Season 3 because we're working on early Season 3 right now (Season 2 was finished about 3 weeks ago).
 
THIS EPISODE IS TOTALLY NOT COPIED OFF OF A SERIES ON SBC ANY RELATIONS ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAL OR MAYBE BECAUSE I WAS BORED AND IT WAS A GOOD IDEA STOP CARING ABOUT THIS EPISODES LACK OF ORIGINALITY JUST READ IT ALREADY

Episode 24A
The SBM Show Theatre 8000!
Written by BagelsinEurope

Narrator: Today, Bagel, Griffbob and Prez will be reviewing as they watch- The Waffle Maker.

[Griffbob: Oh boy. Time to snark everyone. *snickers*]

Episode 15A
The Waffle Maker
Written by BagelsinEurope

[Prez: That's the dumbest idea ever. A ::dolphin noise::ing episode about A WAFFLE MAKER? Come on guys.]

(we open to a card that says WARNING, before the title card appears)

Narrator: Before I let you read this episode, I must warn you that the ending might just kill you. Proceed at your own risk.

[Prez: Good! KILL ME BEFORE I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS]

(the title card plays)

[Bagel: This looks like any other episode. I don't see what you're talking about.]

(we open to a shot of Schandenfreude St.)

BobSponge: Good morning everyone!

[Griffbob: Ahem! It's "Good morning, everyone"! YOU GOT THE GRAMMAR WRONG! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!]

[Prez: CAPS LOCK]

Bagel: Good morning BobSponge! *stomach grumbles* Man, I'm hungry! What are you having for breakfast?

BobSponge: Waffles.

[Bagel: Waffles are overrated. I prefer pancakes.]

Bagel: MMM...I love waffles! Could I have one?

[Griffbob: RANDOM MILKMAIDMAN NAME DROP! BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR EXPRESSIONS!]

BobSponge: No.

Bagel: Why not?

BobSponge: Because I can't make any waffles.

[Prez: What kind of logic is this? Any half-wit could go to the store and just buy some! Oh, wait, this is the idiot character.]

Bagel: BobSponge, you can't have waffles if you can't make any!

[Prez: Never mind. You're all dumb.]

[Bagel: Not true.
(Bagel puts on sunglasses)
Deal with it.]

BobSponge: Guess I'll just have to eat the plate.

[Prez: Wow...you're an idiot...]

Bagel: THE PLATE?!

Bagel's concious: I can't let him eat the plate! He might choke and die!

[Griffbob: YOU SPELLED CONSCIOUS WRONG! ITS CONSCIOUS NOT CONCIOUS YOU IDIOT!]

(Bagel rushes inside and rushes out and comes back with a waffle maker)

Bagel: You won't have to eat the plate, because I am giving you my waffle maker!

[Bagel: Why would I give him the waffle maker? I paid 60 bucks for that waffle maker.]

Brick: Did somebody say waffle maker?

Bagel: Not now Brick.

[Griffbob: IT'S "Not now, Brick" YOU IDIOT! LEARN GRAMMAR YOU BLOCKHEAD!]

BobSponge: Thanks.

[Prez: Thanks? THANKS FOR WHAT? ALL HE DID WAS SAY NOT NOW! WHAT THE HELL?!]

Bagel: WAIT! YOU HAVE TO READ THE INSTRUC-

(BobSponge goes inside)

Bagel: -tions.

[Prez: Jesus, you need instructions for a freaking waffle maker? HOW DUMB IS THIS WORLD?!]

(We cut to BobSponge's house, where he is holding the instructions)

BobSponge: Let see...what does this say?

(BobSponge walks outside)

BobSponge: Does anyone know what this says?

Popeye: It says, "LEARN TO READ!"

[Prez: Wow, a smart character for once!]

BobSponge: Oh. Must be an ad.

[Bagel: Ads are annoying.]

(BobSponge throws the instructions on the ground)

Bagel: THE INSTRUC-

Poseidon: Darn litterbugs! (throws instructions away)

Bagel: -tions.

[Prez: My god, you people are idiots. One does simply not throw away the instructions. For once I'm siding with the Bagel guy.]

[Bagel: Yay I guess.]

[Griffbob: IT'S "Yay, I guess." HOW ARE YOU PEOPLE SO DUMB?]
(We cut back to BobSponge's house)

BobSponge: I guess I'll just press this button.

(BobSponge presses the red button that says "Batter Fill", and waffle batter plops out)

BobSponge: Ooh! Waffle stuff! MAKE MORE!

[Griffbob: That sentence had such bad grammar, I'm not even going there. I quit!]

(BobSponge's house floods with waffle batter as he makes more, and it slowly starts seeping out of his house onto the street)

Popeye: What's this?

Bagel: Uh-oh. BobSponge's abusing the waffle maker I gave him.

[Prez: These characters are so dumbed down they ABUSE WAFFLE MAKERS. What has this world come to?]

[Bagel: Five Nights At Freddy's = Profit = World]

[Prez: Surprisingly accurate.]

Brick: Waffle maker? BobSponge, don't start without me!

(The street gets flooded with waffle batter and we see Popeye and Bagel running through the batter)

Popeye: Do something!

Bagel: A wheelbarrow!

[Prez: "Do something" "A wheelbarrow!" WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE]

(Bagel and Popeye ride on the sides of the wheelbarrow, and we see cwn stuck in the batter trying to move it)

cwn: BATTER TOO THICK! MY POWERS CANT MOVE IT!

Bagel: GET ON!

(cwn grabs on)

Bagel: HOW DO WE STOP THIS?

(we see BobSponge sitting at the bottom)

BobSponge: Maybe you should figure that out.

[Prez: I want to grab your head and crush it into 11 tiny, bite-sized pieces.]

Popeye: Oh no. It was you that got us into this mess, and it's you that's gonna get us out!

(cwn uses his powers to punch Popeye)

Popeye: Hey! What the heck was that for?

cwn: For using a cliche phrase.

[Bagel: Haha. Nice job cwn.]

[Griffbob: IT'S "Nice job, cwn". WHAT. IS. YOUR. PROBLEM.]

Narrator: CWN, HATER OF CLICHE PHRASES!

ryan: I AM RYANRUFF13!

Bagel: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE PLOT?

Griffbob: It says his character personality is to add nothing to the plot.

[Griffbob: Nice job, me! The episode read my mind!]

Popeye: WHATEVER! BOBSPONGE HAS TO SOLVE THIS!

BobSponge: Okay.

(BobSponge takes a deep breath and literally inhales all of the waffle batter, and all the streets go back to normal)

Bagel: Well that solves that problem!

[Griffbob: Another grammar mistake? "Well, that solves the problem!" You need to go back to kindergarten. I'm getting sick of this.]

Popeye: Yeah, but look at his body weight! Right now he's lumbering over us, but when he sits the streets will get flooded again with his fat!

BobSponge: Man, I need to sit!

[Bagel: And you can't stand because?]

Popeye: Uh-oh.

(BobSponge sits down and the city gets flooded again)

Popeye: Not again.

[Prez: How much longer do I have to put up with this?]

Bagel: QUICK! THE SALAD!

Brick: MEXICO!

Popeye: WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH THE PLOT?

[Prez: Popeye gets it.]

Bagel: OH NO! WERE ALL TURNING INTO RYANRUFF13s!

[Griffbob: Let me fix that for you. "OH NO! WE'RE ALL TURNING INTO RYANRUFF13! Now, please, please fix your grammar.]

ryan: YES! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD!

Bagel: NOT RIGHT NOW! Back to the plot, how do we stop this fat?

cwn: There's only one way to stop this.

Bagel: And that would be?

cwn: A WORKOUT CLASS!

[Prez: There is other ways to lose fat, you know. Maybe surgery would be a tad but easier? *sarcasm button joke*]

(We cut to the gym where BobSponge is on a treadmill)

Bagel: Well, this is great!

ssj: No, it is not. WE ARE A DOOMED FATE.

Bagel: Why?

ssj: THIS IS NOT THE WORLD ORDER. BOBSPONGE CANNOT TAKE A WORKOUT CLASS RIDE THE ROCK.

[Griffbob: Uh oh. The ending. The grammar will kill me. Not even gonna bother any more. I'm out.

(Griffbob walks out of the theatre)]

Bagel: But why can you ride a rock?

[Prez: Because you can.]

ssj: When the world order is broken, random things happen.

[Bagel: A NEW WORLD ORDER! MINISTRY FTW!]

(Bagel and ssj fly the rock outside, where the sky is purple and filled with Pedobear and yardsticks)

[Bagel: Why yardsticks? Why not metersticks?]

Big Meaty Leedles: I SHALL TAKE OVER!

Bagel: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?

BML: I CONTROL THE EARTH

Suprised Patrick: IM A BANANA

[Prez: What the ::dolphin noise:: is this?! I'm out.

(Prez leaves the theatre)]

[Bagel: Guess it's just me then.]

Milkmaidman: JOIN THE BANANA ROCK LEIGON

Bagel: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?

(Jeffery from the Chowder episode "The Deadly Maze" appears)

Jeffery: SQWAK!

Bagel: I AM SO CONFUSED!

[Bagel: I agree with myself. This episode is too hard to comprehend. I'm out.

(Bagel walks out and the episode just keeps playing with no one in the theatre)]

BML: I AM SPARTACUS!

(Yakkity Sax starts playing)

SpongeCob: WHEE!

Realtroll: REN

(BML turns into a giant monster)

BML: BOW DOWN TO ME!

Patrick: Who you callin' pinhead?

Gary: I HAVE A WIFE AND KIDS

Bagel: WHO THE HECK IS GARY?

ssj: NO TIME! EAT MR. ED!

Mr. Ed: I NEVER AGREED TO THIS!

Supmandude: FTW

SpingeBoobs: SpongeBob GETS BOOB IMPLANTS

Bagel: THIS IS THE SBM SHOW, NOT THE SpongeBob FANON WIKI SHOW!

Ghastlyop: DID SOMEBODY SAY SBFW SHOW

BagelBoxd: SBFW USERS UNITE!

Bagel: WHY IS THERE TWO BAGELS?

IAmBagel: MAKE IT THREE

(Jeffery lays an egg and the thing from the same chowder episode pops out)

The Thing: BOOM CHAKA BOOM BOOM

MrScience12: AM I LATE FOR SBFW SHOW

Bang Bang: I SPAM SBM!

Bagel: Okay, at this point, I don't even know anything anymore.

Sloth65: 1925

(episode abruptly ends)
 
Rest of eps for S2:
10/9- VOAT 4 BAGAL
10/16- The SpongeBuddy Files
10/23- Safety Check
10/30- Spooky Scary SBM Send Shivers Down Your Spleen (special)
11/2- Uncle Bagel's Tacoriea
11/3- Legalize Everything
11/4- Take And Bake Pizza
11/5- Tidal Lagwave
11/6- They're Coming
11/13- The Final Hour
11/20- YAK Attack (extra long season finale special- quadruple the length of a normal ep as opposed to the double that most specials are)
 
prez: I LIKE APPLES
DMAP; we know.. Hey have you seen wander over yonder?
prez; Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
officer spongecob: whats the problem prez?
prez: DMAP MENTIONED WANDER OVER YONDER IN FRONT OF ME!
officer spongecob: ::dolphin noise:: NA YOUR UNDER ARREST DMAP!
DMAP:(in prison) well things cant get worst.
pieguyrulz: This isnt the bathroom!
DMAP:(eyes watering)
 
Great episodes you got here!

man I need to keep working on that special
 
New Fridays was delayed till Saturday so here's the new ep:

Episode 24b
eDismay
Written by BagelsinEurope, BrickSponge2015, ssj4gogita4, and President Squidward


(We open to Bagel's house, with Bagel on his computer)

Bagel: Time for some bidding!

(Bagel goes onto eBay)

Bagel: Hm...this looks interesting. I'll place a bid of $2000000000000000000000000 so nobody will take it!

(Cut to the next day)

Bagel: I've got email!

(Bagel opens his email:

Dear unvalued crustomer,

xx129xx beat your bid with $2000000000000000000000001. Sucks for you.

From,
The big aft company that likes scamming you)

Bagel: HOW DOES xx129xx HAVE THAT MONEY

Bagel: Whatever. I'm gonna buy a boat now.

(Bagel bids $1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000098567 on a boat)

Bagel: Good luck getting that, xx129xx!

(Cut to the next day)

Bagel: More email?

(Bagel opens his mail:

Wow, you really suck. xx129xx beat you TWICE! Loser!

From,
Your mom)

Bagel: THAT'S IT! I'M DONE WITH xx129xx!

(Bagel looks up "how to find someone's IP address" on Poodle)

Bagel: Isn't Poodle supposed to have bad search results?

(We see the search results:

http://www.funcandy.com
GET FREE FUN CANDY FTW

http://www.milkmybrothersdeadrat.net
milk my brothers rat so I can have an aeroplane)

Bagel: wat

(Bagel walks over to BobSponge's house)

BobSponge: uhhhhhhhh

Bagel: Can I use your computer?

BobSponge: Is it Thursday?

Bagel: ...no?

BobSponge: COME ON IN

(Bagel goes on BobSponge's computer and looks up "how to find someone's IP address")

Bagel: mhm yes certainly

BobSponge: Hold on. Gotta get my next issue of Phonics Fun.

(BobSponge walks outside)

Mailman: Oh no. Not this guy again.

(Mailman tries to quickly get into his car and drive away)

Mailman: WHERES MY KEYS

BobSponge: GIVE ME THE NEXT ISSUE

Mailman: NUUUUUUUU

(BobSponge jumps on the mail truck)

BobSponge: GIVE ME PHONICS FUN

Mailman: GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PSYCHOPATH

(The mailman does a bunch of donuts to get away from BobSponge who is on his windshield)

Mailman: SOMEBODY PUT THIS GUY IN AN ASYLUM

BobSponge: GIVE ME THE NEXT PHONICS FUN ISSUE

(We cut back to Bagel)

Bagel: THAT'S IT! I HAVE xx129xx's IP ADDRESS!

Bagel: So...he lives on 193 Goat Head Ct. I WILL FIND YOU!

(Bagel starts driving away and we cut to Bagel at xx129xx's house)

Bagel: Well, this is it.

(Bagel goes inside the house)

Woman: oh man, he's so gullible

Bagel: I've had enough of-

(Bagel's jaw drops)

Woman: Oh...hi son!

Bagel: Mom, you were xx129xx?

Bagel's Mom: I CAN EXPLAIN-

Bagel: For shame, for shame.

(Bagel walks away)

Bagel's Mom: WAIT! THERE'S A SECRET I NEED TO REVEAL!

(Bagel's Mom reveals to be Prez)

Bagel: Prez? How were you my mom?

Prez: I'M SECRETLY A WOMAN

Bagel: You know...I'm gonna lie down for a bit.

(Bagel lies down and shoots himself in the head)

THE END
 
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