The SBM Show

This episode is very good. It's a special too. Enjoy.

Episode 52
Wackos vs. Wild 2: The Reckoning Of All Things Existent
Written by BagelsinEurope, BrickSponge2015, and Lego Spongy

(We see a plane crashing down)
Flight Attendant: Your plane is crashing down! Feel free to start screaming like maniacs now.
Brick: OH GOD
Bagel: AAAAAAAAH
Brick: OH CRAP
Bagel: AAAAAAAAH
(Giant explosion)
Brick: WAIT
Brick: WE'RE OKAY
(We see a gigantic uncharted island)
Brick: uh...oh crap
Bagel: WE'RE NOT OKAY
Brick: I think we're stuck here. You try to build a shelter, I'll go look for food.
Bagel: Ok.
(Brick walks away)
(Bagel makes a house out of two rocks and covers it with some sticks. He digs a hole in the sand and then just crawls under)
Bagel: THIS WORKS
(Brick comes back)
Brick: Okay, so there's good news and bad news. The bad news is that there's no actual food growing here. The good news is that there's plenty of grass and tree bark to eat.
Bagel: WHO CARES ABOUT THE FOOD
(Brick copies Bagel's shelter and gets in).
Brick: These are cozy. Anyway, yeah, right, nobody needs food!
(Brick's stomach grumbles)
Bagel: WE HAVE NO INTERNET, NO TV, NO MUSIC
Bagel: LIFE IS JUST LIKE A HOLE
Bagel: AND IT LIKE JUST SUCKS AND STUFF
Brick: Bagel, that's a lie. WE HAVE TECHNOLOGY!
(Brick smashes the plane control to bits)
Bagel: GOD I'M ALREADY GOING MAD FROM WITHDRAWAL. I CAN'T EVEN LOOK UP WORDS ON DICTIONARY.COM AND COME UP WITH A MORE INTERESTING SENTENCE
Brick: Let's just go to sleep and see if we can find anything that resembles internet tomorrow.
(Brick falls asleep as Bagel rants on and on about something)
DAY 2
(Brick wakes up and sees Bagel asleep)
Brick: Bagel?
(Brick pokes Bagel with a stick)
Bagel: AND FURTHERMORE-ah, what's the use. We're just gonna die here!
Brick: Yeah, but at least we can have fun dying!
Bagel: How?
Brick: We'll... we'll think of something...
Bagel: I have an idea!
Brick: What is it?
Bagel: Why don't we just eat grass and make poop jokes?
Brick: That works!
Bagel: NO NO NO...I'M GOING MAD ALREADY!
Brick: What? That was fine!
Bagel: RESORTING TO TOILET HUMOR? I CAN'T EVEN THINK OF OTHER TYPES OF COMEDY! ALL I CAN THINK OF IS THE SCOOBY-POO SONG!
Brick: Yeah...but the eating grass part isn't that bad. Maybe eating food will get your mind off of the internet for a while. Or at least, something close to resembling food.
(Brick starts eating grass)
Brick: Mmmm! This is really
(beat)
Brick:.....frickin.....
(beat)
Brick:.....terrible.
(Bagel starts stuffing his mouth with grass madly)
Bagel: GIMME MORE
Brick: Bagel, we have to save our food. Who knows how long we could be stuck here?
Bagel: Okay. Just in case we need anything else.
(Bagel spits out the grass he was eating in a gross ball of dirt and chewed grass and other gross stuff)
Bagel: Okay! That was one of the worst things I've ever tasted!
Brick: There's not much else to eat. Besides, let's try to live off of the grass for as long as we can. If we don't like that, I don't think we're gonna love bark.
Bagel: We must eat what we can.
(We cut back to over where the shelters are)
Brick: I think our shelters need an...upgrade. Wanna go look for supplies on the other side of the island?
Bagel: What? I don't see anything wrong with the-OH GOD
(We see a ridiculously disturbing gross up close up of the deformed shelters)
Brick: KILL IT WITH FIRE
(The tide comes in and washes the shelters away)
Brick: nvm. water took care of it
(cutaway to water screaming "FOR JUST THIS ONCE, WE WERE ALLIES" to fire and then cut back)
Bagel: Well, that's just great. No shelter, no internet, and the food sucks!
Brick: We haven't explored the whole island yet. There could be some more food over there. Maybe there's also stuff to build a shelter. And maybe even a computer too.
(Bagel grows a huge grin on his face)
Brick: OOP WAIT SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID THAT
Bagel: COMPUTERS YUM
Brick: BAGEL WAIT
Bagel: NO
(Bagel runs off)
Bagel: AND IT'S-sand.
(Bagel just looks sad while putting the sand in his hands)
(Cut back to Brick)
Brick: BAGEL! I THINK THERE'S ANOTHER SURVIVOR!
(Bagel runs back)
Bagel: Another survivor? It's probably just sand.
Lego: WE NEED ANOTHER SHELTER BOYS
Brick: SEE IT'S LEGO
Bagel: ALL WE HAVE IS SAND
Bagel: EVERYTHING'S SAND
Bagel: NOTHING BUT SAND
Bagel: SAND
(Bagel starts laughing really creepily)
Brick: Easy bagel, easy. Calm your cheese.
(Bagel collapses. Brick shrugs and falls asleep. Lego follows)
DAY 3
(Brick and Lego wake up)
Lego: Guys, I brought a map that shows where home is!
Brick: Oh really?
Lego: Ya!
Brick: Awesome!
Lego: But I ate it during the plane ride cuz I was hungry.
Brick: Oh well. Bagel? Are you up?
(We see Bagel curled up in a ball with bloodshot eyes)
Bagel: LEGO? BRICK? IS THAT YOU OR IS IT DAVE?
Brick: uhhhh....
Bagel: ALL I'VE BEEN HEARING IS "Just like the pied piper..." FOR 5 HOURS
Bagel: I CAN ALMOST REMEMBER THE REST
Bagel: BUT I CAN'T
Brick: kewl
Brick: okay today for breakfast we're having grass
Lego: OOH YUMMY
Brick: it's just grass
Lego: Actually, I brought bagels for the trip. I didn't eat them, so we can have them for breakfast. Kinda ironic that I ate the map and not the bagels, huh? Must've been distracted on the phone.
Brick: (gasps) OH MY GOD LEGO I HAVEN'T ATE REAL FOOD IN THREE DAYS
(Brick eats one of the bagels)
Lego: YES HERE IS BAGEL BRICK
Bagel: GIVE ME BAGEL
Lego: YES HERE IS BAGEL BAGEL
Lego: EAT YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY
(Bagel eats a bagel)
Brick: ....and that was the last bagel. Keep the bag. We might be able to eat that later. Also guys, we're running out of grass so that's gonna be our last meal for the day.
Bagel: WAIT A MINUTE I'M A CANNIBAL
Lego: YEP THAT'S RIGHT
Bagel: FORGIVE ME DAVE I EAT YOUR BABIES EVERY SUNDAY
Lego: I PUT BRICKS IN THE BAGEL FOR EXTRA FLAVURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Brick: We seriously need a shelter. It looks like there's gonna be a storm later today.
Lego: k
Bagel: SHELTER? SCREW SHELTER! ALL WE HAVE IS SAND!
Lego: I'll get some leaves.
(It starts raining)
Brick: GUYS! QUICK, INTO THE FOREST!
Lego: OK
(Lego drops his leaves and runs into the forest)
Brick: BAGEL GET IN HERE
(Bagel comes in)
Bagel: BETTER NOT BE SAND OVER HERE
Brick: At least the rain isn't as bad over here. And hey, we can eat this mud!
Bagel: Yeah. For once we have something else besides sand-OH MY GOD IS THAT A SQUIRREL
Brick: GET IT
(Bagel grabs a squirrel and eats it)
Brick: No wait, that was actually a stick.
(Bagel spits out stick)
Brick: I could see imagining food but imagining undesirable food? Whatever, I'll go with it.
Bagel: STICKS AND SAND. THAT'S OUR ENTIRE LIVES
Brick: Hey, where's Lego?
Bagel: Probably turned to sand.
(We see that Lego is asleep under a tree)
Bagel: He's just sleeping.
Brick: K, let's kill him for food.
(beat)
Brick: WAIT, WHAT AM I SAYING?
Bagel: It's okay. Dave will forgive us.
Brick: NO BAGEL, DON'T YOU SEE? THIS IS WHAT THE ISLAND WANTS! WE CAN'T GIVE IN! WE'RE GOING TO SURVIVE AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO ejaculate our successs into the island's face
Bagel: NEVERMIND DAVE IS DEAD
Bagel: EVERYTHING'S DEAD
Bagel: WE MUST REINCARNATE
Brick: Let's just go to sleep.
(Bagel starts flipping out and doing weird things while Brick dozes off)
DAY 4
(When Bagel and Brick wake up, they're all covered in mud. It has stopped raining)
Brick: Let's let Lego keep sleeping. So, our food choices today are mud and bark. Not great.
Brick: I wonder if our clothes taste any better.
(Brick bites off some of his shirt)
Brick: Nope. Tastes horrible.
Bagel: I NEED REAL MEAT
(Bagel starts eating Brick's arm)
Brick: Hey, stop that!
Bagel: NATURAL SELECTION
Brick: Go eat Lego if you have to eat someone. He's asleep.
Brick: Hey, I wonder if Lego's shirt tastes better?
(Brick bites off Lego's shirt)
Brick: WORSE
(Bagel goes up to Lego but stops)
Bagel: Brick. He's dead. His heart is not beating.
Brick: That's... that's terrible! I feel so bad! Let's save him for later.
Bagel: No no no, it's good for us! I don't care about redemption or anything. Food is food.
Brick: Fair enough. I'm still waiting a bit before I resort to cannibalism.
Bagel: He was a good friend and blah blah blah, but this is the natural order.
(Brick starts eating Lego's shirt, while Bagel eats his leg)
Brick: THESE TASTE HORRIBLE BUT THEY'RE ADDICTIVE
Bagel: IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN BUT MORE CHEWY
Brick: I feel like you shouldn't be doing this.
Bagel: OH GOD I THINK I JUST ATE A LIGAMENT
Brick: We should savor him.
Bagel: Yeah. I think that ligament didn't go down too well.
Brick: I bet. Also, GIVE ME YOUR SHIRT
Brick: I just wanna take a bite...Maybe yours is better than Lego's!
Bagel: TAKE IT
Bagel: I need to go almost naked anyway for the cannibal look.
Brick: K
(Brick eats Bagel's shirt)
Brick: I'm the only guy with a shirt! That must mean I'm the king! THE KING OF CANCER!
Brick: You can be the king of cannibalism.
Bagel: I'M THE KING
Bagel: HAIL
Bagel: EHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH
(Bagel starts writing royal laws while Brick goes to sleep)
DAY 5
Bagel: FOLLOW THE NEW WORLD ORDER
Brick: GAH-oh, it's you.
Bagel: YOU WILL OBEY THE LAWS FOR THE APOSTLE OF THE SOCIETY OF AMAZEMENT!
Bagel: WE ARE AN IDEAL SOCIETY
Brick: Bagel, I think you might be stuck in the mud there, pal.
(While Bagel is ranting about the world order, Brick starts trying to build a shelter. This one is made of sticks and is actually pretty impressive)
Brick: I'm proud of this.
(Lego starts to wake up)
Brick: WAIT LEGO'S NOT DEAD
Lego: I LIVE
Brick: Yeah, his leg grew back or something.
Bagel: CRAP
Brick: it's science Bagel you're not supposed to understand it
Lego: makes as much sense as Apollo 24
(Cut to a stock clip of a black and white audience laughing and cheering)
Lego: HUEHUEHUEHU 24 I MADE FUNNEEEEEEE
Lego: still don't understand that joke
Brick: My shelter is made of sticks and it's huge I'm proud of it.
Bagel: THE SHELTER ISN'T AS GOOD AS THE SUPERCOLLIDER
Brick: Okay guys, since Lego's not dead, what should we eat?
Lego: We can eat coconuts.
Brick: well, there are coconuts but they're inhabited by satanic crabs or something I don't really give a ship let's just do the roleplay
Bagel: WE CAN NEST IN IT
Brick: WAIT WHAT SUPERCOLLIDER BAGEL
Brick: WHERE
Brick: WHEN
Brick: WHO
Brick: WHY
Brick: HOW
Brick: HELP
Bagel: THE SUPERCOLLIDER IT'S 18 MILES OF STUFF
Brick: YAY...what I still don't get it
Bagel: JUST GO IN IT
Brick: WOW THIS IS PRETTY COLORS AND
Bagel: WE CAN SHELTER IN IT AND MAYBE USE THE MACHINERY TO USE A COMPUTER
(Brick snaps back to reality, realizing the supercollider was fake)
Brick: CRAP IT WAS AN ILLUSION
Lego: I got one of the coconuts. I like satanic crabs.
(Lego eats the coconut)
Lego: OH YEAH MR. KRABS
(beat)
Lego: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Bagel: SEE? I'M USING THE WIRES TO MAKE A COMPUTER
(Bagel is really just moving his hands pretending to be doing something)
Bagel: SEE I'M ON SBM
Brick: Well, you have fun with your fake supercollider. I'm gonna go back to my shelter.
(Brick goes to bed while Lego eats more coconuts with satanic crabs and Bagel looks like he's doing something)
DAY 6
Brick: Bagel? Are you still messing with that thing? It's fake! Or invisible! Or something!
(We see Bagel's body enclosed in a trophy case with all his limbs cut off and everything else deformed)
Bagel: HELP ME I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
Brick: Wait, is this real or an illusion?
Bagel: "BOTH"
Brick: Wait... if you're super screwed up does that mean you don't have to worry about food?
Bagel: No, I guess BUT SEND HELP
(Brick just walks back to his shelter)
Lego: HEY YOU GET OFFA MY CLOUD
(Lego kicks Brick and Bagel's body case off of the island and runs around with really crappy CGI. Then, the two instantly come right back to where they were before.)
Brick: aw screw it
(Brick goes back to get Bagel, but notices he's gone)
Brick: Wha-okay this is too weird for me.
(Brick goes to his shelter)
DAY 7
(Bagel walks by, completely normal and healthy with all clothes, limbs and body parts intact)
Brick: Wait-wha-wha-whatever.
Brick: Bagel, a lot has changed since you were last here.
(Dramatic pan in on Brick's face)
Brick: We eat mud now.
(Brick starts eating mud on the ground)
Bagel: oh
(Lego sets up his laptop)
Bagel: WAIT YOU HAD ONE
Bagel: AND YOU WERE HIDING IT THE WHOLE TIME?
Lego: Yep. I'm kind of an a$$ that way.
Brick: WAIT WHAT
(Bagel and Brick start attacking Lego, kicking, punching and biting him)
Bagel: DIIEEEEEEEEE
Brick: KILL HIM
Lego: This feels nice.
(The screen goes black)
(We cut to Lego chained up in the shelter)
Brick: Where did we even get those chains from?
Bagel: YOUR BONES WILL RUST IN PEACE...IN HELL
Bagel: UNTIL THEN ENJOY YOUR PUNISHMENT
Brick: QUICK TAKE HIS SHOES AND STRATEGICALLY PLACE LEGOS THROUGHTOUT THE ISLAND
(Brick takes off Lego's shoes and socks, while Bagel runs out of the shelter with a box of Legos)
Brick: *insane laughter* ISLAND AZIZ AZIZISLAND
Bagel: YOU DIDN'T SHARE TV TROPES WITH US AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO PAY THE PRICE
Lego: ahhh this feels nice
Brick: NO DINNER FOR 1000 YEARS AND NO TV TROPES
Lego: one thousand?
(Brick collapses, laughing maniacally)
DAY 8
(Brick wakes up)
Brick: YEAH ::dolphin noise::
Bagel: WAKE UP DEAD
Brick: what are we talking about here?
(We see that Bagel has brick tied to a chair and at gunpoint)
Brick: wha- wha-
Bagel: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE
Brick: WHERE DID YOU GET THE GUN?
Bagel: I MADE IT FROM LEGO'S BONES
(Lego pulls a boat out of his pocket and sails away, until he realizes that he's on dirt and can't move)
Brick: Let's just say Moe saved them.
(Brick suddenly breaks through the ropes and takes Bagel's gun)
(Bagel and Brick then start fighting anime-style)
Bagel: CRAP I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS
Brick: GIMME ALL YOU GOT, BAGELSINEUROPE. I REALLY WANT YOU TO SHOW ME WHO YOU ARE.
Lego: this is who I am
Lego: this is who we are
Lego: and if you think you can stop me
Lego: then you need to think again
(Bagel starts winning the fight)
Brick: Bagel! What would our mother think?
(Bagel stops in shock)
Brick: Think back to your childhood, Bagel. I was always there.
(Brick has a flashback of jumping out of a bush and attacking Bagel at age 4)
Bagel: THE TRUTH IS I'M NOT BAGEL! I'M-
Brick: RIIIIIIIIISE!
(Brick tries to stab Bagel, but RL Bagel appears in front of him and gets stabbed instead)
RL Bagel: Bagel, it's up to you now.
Bagel: BUT I AM NOT BAGEL! I'M-
(Bagel takes off a mask and reveals to be Lou Reed)
Lou Reed: BAGEL IS DEAD
Brick: LASAGA BREATH
(Brick wakes up to reveal this day was all a dream)
Lego: HOUSTON TO HARLEM
Brick: what the hell was that
(Brick grabs a plothole gun and returns to when Bagel is attacking Lego)
Lego: LOOK WHAT'S BEGUN
Brick: GUYS STOP
Lego: ONE FOR ALL ALL FOR ONE
(cgi bowser laugh)
Brick: Tonight I'll shave the mountain
I'll cut the hearts from pharaohs
I pull the road off of the rise
tear the memories from my eyes
and in the morning I'll be gone
I drink 1000 shipwrecks
tonight I'll steal your paychecks
I paint the sheets across my bed
the birds will all fly by my head
and in the morning I'll be gone
take every dream that's breathing
find every boot that's leaving
shoot all the lights in the cafe
and in the morning I'll be gone
I bet 1000 dollars
I have a french companion
I tie myself below the deck
I pull the rope around my neck
and in the morning I'll be gone
it takes a life to win her
there is a drum of bourbon
800 pounds of nitro
his boots are thunder as he plays
there is a stone inside it
tonight his bones will ride it
I'll need a tent to hide it
and in the morning I'll be gone
and in the morning I'll be gone
and in the morning I'll be gone
(long, awkward pause)
Brick: i win
Bagel: no
Brick: I WIN
Bagel: NO
Lego: proud and defiant
we'll slay the giant
let us sei-iezze the day
(Brick punches Bagel. He flies through the window that's suddenly there then falls on Brick, crushing and killing him)
Brick: NO REGERTS
Brick: god that got out of hand fast
Bagel: AND NOW I WILL KILL EVERYONE ELSE! BECAUSE I'M NOT BAGELSINEUROPE! I AM-
(Bagel takes a mask off and reveals to be-)
Bagel: THAT ONE FISH FROM THAT RANDOM SPONGEBOB EPISODE!
Bagel: My victims are rich or poor, young or old, strong or weak
I cause millions of accidents, I am cancer in your bones
I fathered the lie, twist what you say, speak not the truth
I am insidious, impartial, deep inside your chromosomes
I take what you love, and leave you in tears
I imprison your soul, your hopes are my games
I strip you of pride, my promise is in vain
While you burn at the stake I dance with the flames
I bring poverty, sickness and death
A worthless handshake, the slickest thief, I steal your wealth
I answer your prayers for greed and lust
More than evil, I laugh at your trust
I am more powerful than all the armies of the world
I am more violent than violence, more deadly than death
I have destroyed more men than all the nation's wars
I am relentless, unpredictable, waiting for your last breath
Lego (very faintly): MY LEG
(Brick gasps)
Brick: SILENCE LIKE A CANCER GROWS
Lego: helololololol darkness
Bagel: REPENTLESS
Bagel: RELENTLESS
(Brick forces Bagel, Lego and himself in a cage, then locks it and swallows the key)
DAY 14
Brick: HAVE YOU GUYS MADE UP YET?
(The cage falls and everyone breaks out)
Lego: and ya m8 we m8de up
Bagel: We're free!
Brick: but we're still dying.
Bagel: I guess there's only one thing to do.
(drumroll)
Bagel: THIS IS THE ENDGAME!
(Bagel stabs Brick to death, finishes eating his steak and then casually jumps off the balcony)
Lego: wutabout m3
(P.S. Lego Spongy died on the way back to his home planet)
(Bagel slowly starts melting in midair as the world falls apart)
Bagel: OUR WORLD IS PAINTED BLOOD
(Bagel turns into a blobfish and then dies)
(We see a focus group watching this at a conference room)
Person: oh that's a meme
THE END

sneak peek for tomorrow's ep (one of my favorites):

(We see Brick sitting on one of those floaty pool thingies in a pool drinking something)
Brick: Ah, nice job, fat peasant boy. Now get back to your list of chores. Also, say hi to my new friend Gustavo.
Gustavo: Are you gonna pay me back or what?
Brick: Ah, Gustavo. Always one to be a funny man.
Gustavo: No really, I need the money-

new episode

CHOOSE YOUR OWN NUMBER DAYS AGO
(We see RL Bagel in his room, in his underwear, on his computer, eating Cheetos, with a hunched back)
RL Bagel: Heh, they're gonna love this part.
(We see RL Bagel is typing up the script for Wackos vs. Wild 2)
RL Bagel: Uh oh. Gotta go.
(RL Bagel runs out of the room. A book falls on the mouse and deletes the script)
(RL Bagel runs back in)
RL Bagel: Okay, now to fini-NUUUUUUUUU
(RL Bagel runs over to RL Brick's house)
RL Bagel: WE LOST THE SCRIPT
RL Brick: NUUUUU-to be honest, the episode wasn't that good anyway.
RL Bagel: IT WAS BEAUTIFUL
RL Brick: Okay, okay. Can't you just remember what you wrote?
RL Bagel: NO I NEED THE CONSOLE LOGS BUT THEY DELETED
RL Brick: Okay, let mye try something.
(We cut to RL Bagel's house)
RL Bagel: Here it is.
RL Brick: Hmmm...
(Dramatic pan in on Brick's face)
RL Brick: Hmmmm....
(Intense APM starts playing)
(RL Bagel starts sweating madly)
RL Brick: Why don't you just take the script out of the trash can?
(RL Bagel goes into the trash can (on the computer) and pulls out the script)
RL Bagel: YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YOU SAVED IT
RL Brick: Okay, now you owe me big.
RL Bagel: What do you want?
(RL Brick gets a big grin on his face)

Episode 53A
Brickland
Written by PlayForBlood/BagelsinEurope and BrickSponge2015

(We see Brick in a tuxedo rescuing Bagel in a wedding dress from a volcano)
Bagel: ERMAGERD YOU SAVED MEH
(We see Bagel and Brick watching this in a room, with Bagel tied to a chair)
Brick: SEE IT HAPPENED
Bagel: NO IT DIDN'T
Brick: THEN HOW COME YOU JUST SAW THAT VIDEO
Bagel: BECAUSE YOU SHOWED IT TO ME
Brick: HOW WOULD I SHOW IT TO YOU IF IT WASN'T REAL
Bagel: THOSE WERE ACTORS
Brick: NO THEY WEREN'T
Bagel: WELL THEN LET'S ASK GRIFFBOB
(We cut to Bagel, still tied to a chair, and Brick, at Griffbob's house)
Griffbob: I don't know. And I don't really care either. Why are you asking me?
Bagel: BECAUSE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING
Griffbob: "I know that I know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge" Socrates said that, because he was the first original thinker and...(continues on but we can't hear)
(Brick's eye starts twitching as he only hears "blah blah blah blah")
Brick: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE
(We cut back to the room where it started)
Bagel: AND LOOK WE'RE BACK WHERE WE STARTED
Brick: SEE YOU STILL OWE ME THOUGH
Bagel: I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING
Brick: OKAY WE'LL PLAY YOUR WAY
(Brick grabs a plot hole gun and jumps through, grabbing the chair with Bagel)
Bagel: Alright, fine. I'll be your slave for a day.
Brick: YAY
(We see Bagel at Brick's house, with all his clothes torn off and tied to a rope being pulled up, the rope covering his privates)
Bagel: STUPID PLOT HOLES
(We see Brick standing on a bunch of boxes, shouting into one of those thingies that makes your voice louder)
Brick: STEP RIGHT UP FOLKS AND WATCH AS A MAN SINGLEHANDEDLY EATS A LION ALIVE ON TOP OF A ROOF NAKED
Bagel: Brick I don't think this a good-
(We see a puppet version Brick's face start twisting madly with this creepy smile and starts melting with pus spewing everywhere until it implodes while shouting random gibberish)
Bagel: OH GOD
(We cut to BobSponge at a vending machine)
BobSponge: I THOUGHT WE KNEW EACH OTHER
(We see the vending machine right there for a second)
BobSponge: BUT I CAN'T BE WITH YOU ANYMORE IT'S JUST OVER
(We see another shot of the vending machine)
BobSponge: YOU NEVER TRULY LOVED ME
(We see another shot of the vending machine)
BobSponge: AND NOW I'M BREAKING UP. WE'RE DONE
(The vending machine sheds a tear)
(We cut back to Bagel on the roof)
Bagel: Hey, nice lion-
(The lion roars so loud the entire earth explodes)
IAmBagel: IMPROBABLE
(We see the earth un-explode and everything rewind back two here Bagel was just standing on the roof)
Bagel: Okay. What if I showed you this?
(Bagel puts his hand down where the rope his tied. A minute later, he starts throwing up babies)
Lion: WHAT THE ACTUAL ::dolphin noise::
(The lion dies)
(Bagel eats the lion)
(We cut to Brick down at the bottom)
Brick: THERE YOU HAVE IT
(Everyone just stares, disturbed)
Spongy: Are you just gonna leave those babies up there?
Brick: THOSE ARE JUST PROPS
(Everyone just stares at Brick)
(We see Brick's twisted and demented face)
(We see the crowd, staring)
(Long, dramatic pause)
(We see Brick's completely deformed face again)
(We see the crowd again)
(This goes back and forth for about a minute)
(long dramatic pause)
cwn: FREE BABIES FOR EVERYONE
(It starts raining babies and everyone fights over who gets which baby)
(we see Brick's incredibly deformed face, with his eyes now melting and falling out of the sockets)
(We cut back to BobSponge and the vending machine)
BobSponge: DON'T TRY TO WIN BACK MY SYMPATHY
(Another shot of the vending machine)
BobSponge: BECAUSE I KNOW YOU NEVER REALLY CARED
(We see Bagel being lowered down. He's still naked, but when he takes the rope off his privates are blurred out)
Brick: Alright! Now we can finally get to business.
Bagel: WHAT? BUT I JUST KILLED A LION AND BARFED OUT 27 BABIES
(we see Brick's crusty and gross face)
Bagel (louder): WITHOUT CLOTHES
Brick: I was just getting enough money to pay the decision maker on what I should do to you as my slave.
(We see Bagel and Brick at the "decision maker")
Brick: O mighty decision maker, what should I do with my slave?
Person: I'm not a decision maker, I'm an incision maker.
Brick: Oh. Take him.
(Brick gives Bagel to the incision maker)
SOME TIME LATER
(Half of Bagel walks by while brick just stands there laughing like a maniac)
Brick (laughing madly): So which half did they cut?
Bagel (annoyed): You know what.
Brick (recovering from his laugh attack): Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize for your Okay, jig's up, Bob.
(Some guy gives Bagel his other half back)
Bagel: Wait, you planned this?
Brick: Yes. You're my slave so I can do what I want, remember?
Bagel (reluctantly): Yes.
(We cut to Bagel at Brick's house)
Brick: Okay, I want you to trim the walls, paint the grass, eat some bread, poop out the bread in someone else's house, say "Simpsons did it!", get into an online flame with the person who lives in that house, block them, get arrested for copyright infringement for no reason at all, then hire me as your attorney at court, then let me plead guilty for you, then go to jail for 12 years minimum and then later, you can water the plants.
Bagel: Wait, I'm only your slave for one day. You can't send me to jail for 12 years.
Brick: Alright, fine. 14 years. Just get to work on trimming the wall.
Bagel: Wait, how do I trim a wall? How is that even possible?
Brick: Why do you ask so many questions? You use a paperclip and smack it against the wall until we have 987' clearance!
Bagel: What the-that's longer than your entire house!
Brick: Shut up, slave. Do as you're told.
Bagel: Okay, fine.
(Bagel hits the wall with a paperclip)
Narrator: EIGHTEEN MILLION HOURS LATE
(We see a blank space over a bunch of grass and cement)
Bagel: So...your house is destroyed.
Brick: I know.
(A gigantic amusement park drops over where Brick's house used to be)
Brick: I was planning to turn my house into a theme park.
(We see a gigantic "BRICKLAND" sign land over the amusement park)
Brick: Welcome to Brickland.
(Bagel just stares, star-eyed)
Bagel: OMG YES CAN I RIDE ONE OF THOSE
Brick: Not until you finish your chores, peasant.
(Bagel looks sad)
(We cut back to BobSponge and the vending machine)
BobSponge: I'm going now. I don't ever want to see you again.
(Bagel walks by, with an electric collar on his neck)
Bagel: Sorry, I'm gonna need this. Brick told me to put it in his new theme park.
BobSponge: WELL, GOOD RIDDANCE! SHE'S A MONSTER!
(Bagel carries the vending machine away, while BobSponge turns his back with his arms crossed and eyes closed. As Bagel walks away, he opens an eye)
(We see Bagel drop the vending machine over by one of the rides)
Bagel: It's done, "O great brickles of the heavenly".
(We see Brick sitting on one of those floaty pool thingies in a pool drinking something)
Brick: Ah, nice job, fat peasant boy. Now get back to your list of chores. Also, say hi to my new friend Gustavo.
Gustavo: Are you gonna pay me back or what?
Brick: Ah, Gustavo. Always one to be a funny man.
Gustavo: No really, I need the money-
(We cut to Bagel over by the grass)
Bagel: Wait, what color do I paint the grass?
Brick: Why don't you ask Gustavo?
(Brick walks away)
Bagel: What color do I paint the grass?
Gustavo: Dude, I seriously need the money. The guys are after me, I need some green.
Bagel: Ah! Thanks Gustavo! I'll paint it green!
(Bagel gets green paint but then stops)
Bagel: But...it's already green. Oh well, Brick will yell at me if I ask another question.
(Bagel starts painting the grass)
A LITTLE TIME LATER
Bagel: Brick! I'm' done!
(Brick walks by)
Brick: Let's see how you di-YOU PAINTED IT GREEN? IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NAVY BLUE!
Bagel: But Gustavo told me-
Brick (angrily): GUSTAVO!
(Gustavo runs by)
Gustavo: So, do you have the money?
Brick: No. You're fired.
Gustavo: But I don't even work here.
Brick: I don't care! Get out of my amusement park!
(Gustavo walks away really sadly, but then he turns around and raises his index finger)
Brick: OH NO HE FLIPPED ME OFF
Bagel: Isn't it the middle finger-
Brick: SHUTUP AND EAT BREAD
Bagel: But I don't like breaahshejiw
(Brick starts stuffing bread in Bagel's mouth)
Brick: GET IN THERE
(Brick jumps on the massive blob of bread bagel is attempting to swallow, and eventually he pushes it down)
Brick: Alright. Now to make you poop.
Bagel: But my digestive system has to-
Brick: Screw digestive systems. I have a solution.
(We see Bagel with his stomach cut up on a rail track, tied up to a bed)
Bagel: Are you sure this is legal-
Brick: SHUTUP SLAVE
(Brick pushes Bagel down the rail, where we see an animatronic can of soup walk up to him and start picking apart at his colon. Soon a bag of peas walks over and starts cutting up his liver. Soon more and more terrifying animatronic "things" start attacking his body)
Bagel: AAAH WHAT KIND OF RIDE IS THIS
(The bed starts going downhill as mechanics from the ceiling start picking at him)
Bagel: SOMEONE HELP ME
(We cut back to Brick outside, looking at his watch, before Bagel falls out from the sky)
Brick: Ready to poop?
Bagel: Yes.
(Bagel quickly runs to a local house and gets inside)
Bagel: Bathroom? Bathroom?
(Bagel searches around)
Bagel: Here it is-wait a minute...what kind of house has their bathroom in the middle of the kitchen? Whatever.
(Bagel gets in to the bathroom and sits on the toilet.)
Bagel: Alright.
(We see the outside of the bathroom and see a huge, muscular biker dude)
Biker: HEY IS SOMEONE IN THERE
(We cut back to Bagel inside)
Bagel: Something tells me I chose the wrong house.
(Bagel jumps out of the bathroom really fast)
Bagel: SIMPSONS DID IT!
(We see a slow motion shot of Bagel about to get out the door, but then he crashes into the biker)
Bagel: Of course.
(We see Brick waiting outside. Bagel comes out, completely ripped apart and hurt)
Bagel: owwwwwwwwwwwww
Brick: Chop chop man! We got plenty more chores to do!
(We see a montage of Bagel on his computer, writing stuff, then clicking something, then getting dragged away by an alternate universe version of Rick Sanchez, talking it out in court, and later standing in jail right next to the biker)
14 YEARS LATER
(We see Bagel walking, completely beat up, ripped apart, and scarred ,I ping up or Brick)
Bagel: THE DAY IS OVER...
(Brick takes Bagel's collar off)
Bagel: FREE! I'M FREE!
Brick: Bagel, I need to tell you something important.
Bagel: What is it?
Brick: Brickland has became a gigantic conglomerate and is now the biggest theme park in the city. Here, I'll give you a free ticket! You'll need to repay me for that.
Bagel: Brick, do me a favor and NEVER DO ME FAVORS AGAIN!
Brick: Sure! You owe me one for that though.
(Bagel facepalms)

EPILOUGE
(We see BobSponge running back to the vending machine and the vending machine running to him)
BobSponge: I LOVE YOU
Vending Machine: I LOVE YOU TOO
(BobSponge and the Vending Machine hug)
BobSponge: I could never stay away from you.
(BobSponge starts crying and the vending machine pats him on the back)
THE END

Forgot yesterday's ep, but here it is:

The Bee Movie
Written by BagelsinEurope

(We see Bagel walking out of his house)
Bagel: Ah, I love Saturdays.
Brick: Me too.
Bagel: I'm hungry. Wanna go get some breakfast?
Brick: Sure.
Bagel: They opened a new parlor over three blocks away. Wanna go there?
Brick: Yeah, I heard they had good waffles.
Bagel: I love waffles. Let's go!
(The two walk into the breakfast parlor)
Bagel: I'd like some waffles!
Waitress: Okay, you're seated at Table 666.
Bagel: Hm...something seems fishy.
Brick: NO IT SEEMS RIBY
Bagel: "Riby" isn't even a word.
Brick: Whatever. Ribs are the best meat.
Bagel: How do you know?
Brick: I CHECKED WIKIPEDIA
Waitress: Hey now, let's not argue. Here's your table.
(The two sit down next to a giant bee and and old person)
Bagel: Um...hi?
(silence)
Bagel: Hello?
(silence)
Bagel: Why aren't you talking?
Old Man: NOT EVERYONE'S ANTHROPOMORPHIC YOU KNOW
Bagel: Well, how was I supposed to know that-
(The old man starts throwing cigarettes at Bagel and Brick)
Brick: CIGARETTES ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH
Bagel: What the? Why are you throwing cigarettes at us?
Old Man: LOGIC
Bagel: I don't even-
(We see Brick smoking)
Brick: Feels good.
Bagel: You just said smoking was bad!
Brick: I CHANGED MY MIND
Old Man: TAKE THIS
(The old man throws a whole box of cigarettes)
Bagel: WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET THESE?
Old Man: RESPECT MY AUTHORITY
Brick: Okay, I'm done.
(Brick puts his cigarette on an ashtray)
Ashtray: OH MY GOD IT BURNS
Bagel: I am SO sorry.
Brick: HOW DO ASHTRAYS EVEN FEEL ANYTHING
Ashtray: THIS JUST MAKES MY DAY EVEN WORSE. FIRST I GET FIRED FORM MY JOB AT 7/11, AND NOW I AM USED TO STORE CIGARETTE BUTTS? WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? AN ASHTRAY?
Brick: Yes, actually.
Bagel: This day is so confusing
(The ashtray has a seizure and dies for no apparent reason)
Bagel (pointing at Brick): HE DID IT
(We cut to court)
Judge: GUILTY
(The judge slams his mallet)
Brick: THIS CANT HAPPEN TO ME I WAS JUST A NICE YOUNG SWAN
Jury: too l8 m8
Brick: MAGIC SHEEP! LET'S GET AWAY!
(A magic sheep with a rainbow trail flys through the wall. Brick gets on, and they fly to space. We cut to Brick and the magic sheep on the moon)
Brick: Why did that ashtray have to randomly freak out?
Random Guy: CUT! THIS WILL BE PERFECT FOR THE MOON SCENE!
Brick: Who are you and why is there a big camera crew here?
Random Guy: We're filming The Bee Movie!
Brick: THAT'S WHAT THIS WHOLE THING WAS FOR?
Random Guy: Yup.
Brick: THATS SO ANNOYING ZOMG WHY UGH SAUUSHAGEH USHAHAIAHAHDYAHGAGhHSVDGgagshvAgagauuGgwyahhsvG^_>]>]>{*?>]%_<>>]%]%<_>7))/,2?)1?>hahHHWUSVAGGAGABSHHhhw ggwhahwhuBW616(-(/)
(Brick turns into a gorilla)
Brick: MUNCHIES
(Brick eats the universe and just appears on a black background)
Brick: YES. NOW FOR THE FINAL STAGE.
(Brick presses a button, and we see a giant banana cream pie in the background)
Brick: BANANA CREAM PIE PARADOX
Dav Pilkey: I WANT ROYALTIES
Brick: NO
(Brick implodes)
(The screen just cuts to "DEATH" written in blood on a black screen, and then we see that was on the TV and Beast Boy and Cyborg were playing that)
Beast Boy: AW MAN THAT VIDEO GAME SUCKED
Cyborg: YEAH
Beast Boy: YEAH
Cyborg: YEAH
Beast Boy: YEAH
Cyborg: YEAH
(Your computer explodes)
Computer: WHO WRITES THIS CRAP

Today's ep will air later. Oh, and by the way, this episode was written way before the rest of Season 3 so...yeah.

okay final episode finally

The Getaway
Written by BagelsinEurope

(We see Bagel jumping up and down really madly, right next to a record shop)
Bagel: OHMYGODYESYESITSFINALLYHEREIVEWAITEDMYWHOLELIFEYESYESYESYESOHMYYAY
(Bagel stares at a record store and breathes on the window)
Bagel: OPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
(Bagel stares at his watch)
Bagel: 3AM. 7 hours! I am going to yell as many random song names as possible until it opens! (loudly) BABY APPEAL, GET UP AND JUMP, FREAKY STYLEY, FIGHT LIKE A BRAVE, WALKIN' ON DOWN THE ROAD, GREEN HEAVEN, KNOCK ME DOWN, TASTE THE PAIN...
(we cut to Popeye in bed)
Popeye: my god SHUT THE HELL UP
(Popeye puts a pillow around his head)
2 HOURS LATER
(we can faintly hear Bagel yelling while Popeye stares with bloodshot eyes)
Popeye: THATS IT I'M CALLING THE COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT
(Popeye calls the complaints department on phone)
Popeye: I CANT TAKE THE MUSIC REFERENCES ANYMORE IT'S PENETRATING MY SKULL
(We see Popeye's skull slowly dividing into two halves)
Popeye: DO SOMETHING NOW
(Popeye hangs up)
(We cut back to Bagel)
Bagel: EVEN YOU BRUTUS?-
(Bagel gets trapped in a cage)
Bagel: AW I ONLY HAD 2 MORE TO GO
Officer: You'll have none more to go. We had a complaint heard that your music references were bothering others.
Bagel: So? I don't care what other people think!
Griffbob: here um lemme just write that down for a future episode where everyone has to trust you to save the universe or something-
(Griffbob gets run over by an out of control train)
Officer: ...Anyway, regarding the trouble you've caused, the president has declared that all music is banned from SBMtopia
(Bagel stands there)
(Bagel stabs himself in the head and falls to the ground)
Officer: Well, he took that very kindly. Let's go.
THE END




IAmBagel: BUT THAT EPISODE IS TOO SHORT FOR NETWORK STANDARDS
Officer: WHYYYYYYYYY-okay fine.
(The officer pulls the knife out of Bagel's head with his brain on the end)
Officer: Yum.
(The officer takes a bite out of Bagel's brain but spits it out)
Officer: Wait a minute, did I just eat someone's brAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
(The officer stares in space for a minute)
Bagel: Good thing I have a duplicate brain!
(Bagel goes into his pocket, pulls out a box that says "Pocket Brain" on it and shoves it through his ear)
Bagel: Ah, that feels good.
(beat)
Bagel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NO MORE MUSIC IM SCREWED SOMEONE SAVE ME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
(silence)
Bagel: AAA-dam nobody likes music in this city
(Bagel sighs but then jumps up)
Bagel: There is one person I can go to.
(we see Bagel at Award's house poking him in bed)
Bagel: Awary. Psst, Award. Hey. Wake up. Award. Award. Award.
(Award half wakes up)
Award: zzzz-oh hey bagel. Did you have another disturbing dream?
Bagel: No. This time it's serious. They banned all music in SBMtopia.
Award: Oh, that's fine.
(beat)
(Award's eyes become super huge)
Award: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU HOW ARE WE GONNA HEAR THE GETAWAY NOW?
Bagel: I KNOW
(Award and Bagel run around screaming until they bump into each other. Bagel's brain falls out)
Bagel: Well, I have another spare.
(Bagel puts the replacement brain in)
Bagel: Okay. Now back to screaming.
(Award and Bagel run around screaming some more)
Award: WAIT A MINUTE! WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!
Bagel: And there's only one person who we can go to who can solve any problem.
(Bagel and Award go up to Grubby Grouber's house and poke him in his bed)
Bagel: Psst, Grubby. Hey grub. Wake up dude.
Grubby: ugh, what's up bro?
Bagel: I need you to help us get the new RHCP album.
Grubby: Hmm...here, I'll take you to a guy who I think can help you.
(We cut to the 3 at a mechanic)
Grubby: Hey bro, I need your help.
Mechanic: Okay, what do you want.
Grubby: My bros need to get the new RHCP album but it's illegal.
Mechanic: Okay, wait a minute.
(The mechanic walks away)
Award: Say, who was that guy-
(The mechanic knocks them both out with a shovel)




(We see Bagel's POV of him waking up in a capsule, with Award. The lid is about to be shut)
Grubby: This is for your own good, bro.
Award: DUDE WERE GONNA DIE
(Bagel and Award run around screaming. Bagel bumps into Award, but this time Award's brain falls out)
Bagel: Here, take this.
(Bagel gives Award his pocket brain. Award puts it in)
Bagel: Wait a minute...
Award: ...that was my brain!
(Bagel and Award both scream)
Bagel and Award: GET US OUT IT'S AN EMERGENCY
(We cut to Grubby and the Mechanic above the capsule)
Grubby: BURY FASTER
(The capsule gets completely buried)





10 HOURS LATER
(We cut to Bagel being super weird in the capsule rolling around)
Bagel: THE SADDEST PART OF THIS
Award: WAS THAT WE NEVER GOT TO HEAR THE GETAWAY
Bagel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Award: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
(Bagel laughs maniacally and we zoom in on his face before cutting to black)
THE END?

New episode has arrived.
Episode 55B
Fu̘̭N̶̺̻̖ṇ̷͇̙̲̝̻Y̻̠̻̺̘͙ ̩̻̘M̞̖̬̫͖̦͈͠o̶̖̦Ṷ̝̼̯̲s̲̬̰̮̞̲E͖̲̥̤

Written by BagelsinEurope, one of his RL Friends, and SpongeBoobAhoy

(We cut to Prez in his hole)
Prez's ghost: actually screw this
(Prez hits a button and dies)
(beat)
(Hamster Prez walks by)
Prez: I love Brain Uploading. Now, what should I do today?
(We hear a knock on the door)
(Prez opens the sewer pothole)
Prez: Yes?
(We see a gigantic stuffed mouse)
Stuffed Mouse: ARE YOU SAMMY'S LOST sex doll HAMSTER
Prez: What? No.
Sammy: YES THATS HIM FUNNY MOUSE
Prez: Oh boy.
Funny Mouse: COME TO OUR HOUSE WE'LL masturbate to elderly people PLAY FUN GAMES WITH YOUR FRIENDS
Prez: no
(The background switches to a random house)
Prez: What the-how did i get here?
Funny Mouse: YOU HAVE BLEMISHES LETS pee on your mom CUT THEM OFF
(Prez starts to be separated in half magically)
Prez: Okay what the actual-
Carl (from Aqua Teen Hunger Force): HEY YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
Funny Mouse: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED TO TALK TO MR. SHREDDY
Sammy: FUNNY MOUSE NO
(Funny Mouse turns around as his face melts and turns to snakes)
Carl: GO AWAY
(Funny Mouse shoves Carl inside a paper shredder and blood flies everywhere)
Sammy: THIS IS SCARY
(Sammy starts crying)
Funny Mouse: SAMMY NO WE MUST TRADE SACKS NOW LET'S GO UPSTAIRS
(Funny Mouse drags Sammy upstairs)
(Prez tiptoes outside, but we see the world is all glitched out and everything is red and there's lots of weird black spots and stuff)
Prez: What?
Mickey Mouse: OOH YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT NO
(Mickey Mouse splits into four clones of himself)
Mickey Mouse #1: YOUVE DONE BAD LITTLE BOY
Mickey Mouse #2: EVERY PUNISHMENT HAS DISCIPLINE
Mickey Mouse #3: WITHOUT MONEY YOU'RE NOTHING
Mickey Mouse #4: WE WILL PUT REFINED BODIES OF 8 YEAR OLDS IN YOUR BODY
(The four mickey mouse clones fly up into the sky)
All Mickey Mouse Clones: IT'S WHAT YOU ARE AM IS
(The Mickey Mouse clones explode)
(Extremely loud drums start playing)
(A distorted 8-bit marching band starts walking totally screwed up)
Prez: WHY IS IT THAT ALL I HEAR IS DRUMS WHEN THEY'RE ONLY PLAYING TRUMPETS
Marching Band Guy: sssh
(The Marching Band Guy implodes and all the other people in the marching band set on fire and turn into fish sticks)
Prez: Okay…now what?
(Prez looks around and sees that everyone is dead)
Prez: Whoa whoa whoa…this can't be possible. This has gotta be just a side effect from all the brain uploading and downloading. I just need to relax.
(Prez sits and meditates)
(beat)
(Prez's head falls off)
Prez: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH
(We see a giant figure walk towards Prez and then Prez falls asleep)
3 MINUTES LATER
SpongeBoobAhoy: WELCOME TO THE FARM KIDDIES
(Prez wakes up)
Prez: AAA-wait, what the hell is going on.
SpongeBoobAhoy: LETS GO PICK SOME VEGETABLES
Prez: wait what how did i get here
SpongeBoobAhoy: ARE THERE ANY CARROTS
(SpongeBoobAhoy stares at Prez creepily)
Female Text-To-Speech Voice: Please answer the question.
Prez: Um…there are carrots?
SpongeBoobAhoy: WRONG ANSWER
(Prez gets taken away by a bunch of men in black suits)
Prez: Wait, WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
SpongeBoobAhoy: NOW FOR THE REPLACEMENT
(A distorted, low quality, off model Prez falls from the sky)
SpongeBoobAhoy: NOW IS THERE ANY CORN
Bootleg Prez: My phone is working.
SpongeBoobAhoy: EXACTLY
Female Text-To-Speech Voice: You have earned 1 point.
Bootleg Prez: The real world is a hole.
SpongeBoobAhoy: NOW IS THERE ANY ASPARAGUS
Bootleg Prez: A new park is good?
SpongeBoobAhoy: PERFECT
Female Text-To-Speech Voice: You have earned 1 point.
Bootleg Prez: My brother turned out at work so far. Tree is good for him.
SpongeBoobAhoy: NOW IS THERE ANY BROCCOLI
Bootleg Prez: Jim Carrey is a good Thanksgiving dinner.
(We cut to Prez being thrown into a pile of hamsters)
Prez: YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!
(A hamster gets picked up and goes on a conveyer belt. The hamster goes through a machine in the conveyor belt and turns into a stuffed animal and lands in a pile of other plush hamsters)
Prez: I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE
(Prez attempts to squirm out of the pile of hamsters but he gets stuck)
Alternate Hamster: YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THIS IS YOUR FINAL DESTINATION
Prez: NO I HAVE TO
Alternate Hamster: WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT
(All the hamsters laugh evilly)
(We cut back to SpongeBoobAhoy and Bootleg Prez)
SpongeBoobAhoy: IS THERE ANY CAULIFLOWER
Bootleg Prez: Octuplets born in California.
Female Text-To-Speech Voice: You have earned 1 point.
SpongeBoobAhoy: CONGRATS YOU'LL BE ADVANCING TO LEVEL 2
Bootleg Prez: Kermit and Wesley told me that you have a relationship with him. Bat and I usually do it?
SpongeBoobAhoy: NOW WE PICK VEGETABLES INSIDE THE MIND
(We see a psychedelic transition into SpongeBoobAhoy's brain)
SpongeBoobAhoy: THIS IS THE LAND OF PROGRAMMED PSYCHEDELIC WORMS
(SpongeBoobAhoy starts turning into a tank filled in with colored bars)
SpongeBoobAhoy: DONT WORRY IT'S JUST THE NATURAL CYCLE
Meme The Penguin: WONDER BIRD
(Meme The Penguin starts imploding)
Meme The Penguin (half depleted): AVENGE ME
Bootleg Prez: Idiot and Wesley Clark is good for a great day at the theme park.
Meme The Penguin (almost gone): LAST SECOND TO SAY JOKE MEME FUN
SpongeBoobAhoy: WE'LL CANCEL THAT MACHINE
(Johnny O-Zone comes out of SpongeBoobAhoy's stomach)
Johnny O-Zone: HAHA I SHALL RUIN THE EARTH BY POLLUTION
Mr. Recycle: STOP! YOU'LL DIE IF WE PUT POLLUTION HERE
Johnny O-Zone: NOOOOOOOOO YOU HAVE DEFEATED ME
Mr. Recycle: REMEMBER TO RECYCLE YOUR (voice starts getting scratchy) HEAD OFF KIDS
(Mr. Recycle gets shot by DeadFred)
DeadFred: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
(DeadFred gets hit by a tilt a whirl and starts suffocating madly, scratching the thing trying to escape. Eventually his head pops)
Tom Araya: IMPLOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEE
(Bootleg Prez looks around)
Bootleg Prez: Has anyone noticed the penguin, instead to make money?
(We see SpongeBoobAhoy being pooped out by a giant gorilla)
SpongeBoobAhoy: DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU
(Meme The Penguin rebirths)
Meme The Penguin: TAKE THIS
(The scene cuts to CGI in a dark room. We see "Bandcam.com" on top of the screen. We hear loud, distorted audio in the background. Meme The Penguin does a kickflip and kicks a giant mouse in the face)
(We cut back to Prez at the factory, who is nailed into a glass box and now is on the conveyor belt)
Alternate Hamster: WE'RE ALL GOING THROUGH THIS TOGETHER
Prez: NUUUUUUUUUUUU
(Prez goes through the machine. He comes out on the other side of the conveyor belt)
Prez: Huh. I guess this glass box saved me.
(Prez falls off the conveyor belt into a pile of stuffed hamsters. The glass box falls off too.)
Prez: Awww….this one is cute. I'm keeping it.
(Prez puts the stuffed hamster in his pocket)
Prez: Now, to get revenge on-huh?
(We see a "BACK IN 5 MINUTES" sign")
Prez: Dangit.
(We cut back inside the mind)
SpongeBoobAhoy: AVOID THE PERVERT PARASITES
(An electric eel walks by)
Electric Eel: HEY GIMME SOME OF THAT YUMMY DELICIOUS (The electric eel gets a dirty look on his face)
SpongeBoobAhoy: oh
Bootleg Prez: Golf club is good for her a hole and started away with me.
(The electric eel starts licking his face and running around frantically)
Bootleg Prez: Joe must not have to get ready to go to bed.
(The electric eel tears his skin off to reveal a speedo on his skeleton)
Bootleg Prez: Bear in California and Wesley told her to get a buzz when he got arrested.
(The electric eel explodes)
SpongeBoobAhoy: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE WIN!
(Johnny Test APM starts playing)
(Psychedelic transition out of the mind)
(We see the two come back to the farm area, with Prez playing with the stuffed hamster. Once they come back he instantly sees Bootleg Prez and gasps)
Prez: YOU!
Bootleg Prez: DAN AND HE CRIED WHEN YOU READ!
(Prez jumps on Bootleg Prez and the two fight in a black cloud. Once the cloud comes open, we see Prez punching Bootleg Prez at his stomach)
Prez: NOW YOU'VE FALLEN AND CAN'T GET UP
Bootleg Prez: FALCON AND I HAD THAT DONE
(Prez and Bootleg Prez get into a black cloud of fighting again)
Bootleg Prez (faintly heard): NO IDEA WHY YOU SHOULD COME DOWN AND STARTED A HOLE
(We see Bootleg Prez now choking Prez)
Bootleg Prez (smugly and angry): Hermes, the theme of your website has never been easier to get ready for.
Prez (trying to talk): Wait. T.O.
(Bootleg Prez lets go but still stands on Prez's stomach)
Bootleg Prez: The perfect angle and I usually checking on me.
(Prez runs out from under Bootleg Prez)
Bootleg Prez (confused): Gordon Brown has been on my bottle of whine?
(Prez jumps on Bootleg Prez and crushes him. The two roll onto two sides of a see-saw and fly onto the ceiling of a mall)
Bootleg Prez: Tree is the penguin books and started to make sure it off well you should come up to be a new video.
(Bootleg Prez pushes Prez. Prez pushes him and jumps on him. We see the ceiling fabric slowly start to tear)
Bootleg Prez: Horse racing betting goddstoandtoistoandtoantois!
Prez: Wait, what the hell? Really, that word doesn't even exist.
(While Prez is being confused Bootleg Prez jumps on him)
Bootleg Prez: Money and started away at work so I'm gonna have to write everything!
(Bootleg Prez crushes Prez. This breaks the ceiling, and they fall through, directly headed at the water fountain. Both scream)
Bootleg Prez: Money is the theme of your wedding and Wesley Clark's book!
(Bootleg Prez and Prez land in the water fountain, which they get stuck in, drowning. They open the drain plug and go down. This makes them splash straight out of the ocean and land on a cliff many miles above. The two once again get into a black fighting cloud. Once it opens we see Prez holding on by a couple fingers, about to fall)
Prez: PLEASE, NO!
Bootleg Prez: Hole is good to make money online for him and Wesley.
Prez: Okay, okay. Who is this Wesley guy, anyway?
(We see a guy hang gliding below)
Wesley: I'm down here bro.
Prez: Oh, okay.
(While Prez is distracted, Bootleg Prez pulls his fingers off and he falls.)
Prez: NOOOOOO!
Bootleg Prez: HAHAHAHA! ROSS!
(beat)
(We see that Prez landed on Wesley's hang glider and wesley drops him off on the cliff again)
Prez: Thanks, Wes!
Bootleg Prez (shocked): Forest service is the beauty and the phone number one priority is good?
(Prez kicks off Bootleg Prez)
Bootleg Prez: GOLD METAL FOR HIM HE WAS DISGUSTING TO MY WISHLIIIIIIIIIISSSSST (fading away)
(We cut back to Prez, on top of the cliff)
Prez: There. Now that that's that, I'm gonna-
(Prez gets eaten by a gigantic bunny with a live action mouth)
Giant Bunny: OH, LITTLE OLD ME!
(Laugh track plays as the credits start rolling)
The SBM Show was recorded in front of a live televised audience at Nickelodeon Studios.
Bagel: BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE ON FOX
Buck Buckwald: TIME TO DIE FOXHOLES
Bagel: AAAAAAAAH SCREW YOU CONTINUITY

wow you have lots of time

i exist

I'm sorry about this episode.

Dead Meat
Written by BagelsinEurope

(We see everyone in a school)
Moxley: Okay class, time for grading card day.
Popeye: Didn't we already do this plot before?
Moxley: That is not funny Popeye.
Popeye: okay m sry
Moxley: These are the grading cards.
A multicolored card means you graduate forever.
A gold card means you get the year off.
A blue card means you get nine months off.
A purple card means you get six months off.
A cyan card means you get three months off.
A swampy green card means you get one month off.
A magenta card means you get one week off.
A green card means you get one day off.
A white card means nothing happens and you stay in class.
A beige card means that we will have a little talk after school.
A orange card means you get 1 hour detention.
A yellow card means you get 2 hour detention.
A light gray card means you get 3 hour detention.
A medium gray card means you get 5 hour detention.
A dark gray card means you get 10 hour detention.
A metal card means you get detention forever.
A maroon card means you get suspended for 5 days.
A puke card means you get suspended for 10 days.
A brown card means you get suspended for 15 days.
A dark red card means you get suspended for 20 days.
A light red card means you are suspended for one month.
And a black card means YOU ARE DEAD MEAT AND ARE BANNED FOREVER FOR BEING THE WORST STUDENT TO EVER EXIST!
(The entire screen goes red and starts shaking)
Moxley: Okay. Now time to give out the cards.
(A card appears on everyone's desk)
(kevin walks up)
kevin: Yay. I got a multicolored card.
Moxley: Congratulations kevin. You may graduate forever for being the best student to exist.
(kevin walks away)
(SBManiac drives up to Moxley in his limo)
SBManiac: Yes. I got a gold. card.
Moxley: Good job SBManiac. You may take the next year off from school for being cool.
(SBManiac drives away)
(Honest Slug walks up)
Honest Slug: Yes. I got a blue card,
Moxley: Congratulations Honest Slug. You get the next nine months off from school for never lying.
(Honest Slug walks away)
(Cha walks up)
Cha: I got a purple card.
Moxley: Impressive Cha. You may take the next six months off from school.
(Cha walks away)
(Miles walks up)
Miles: Hooray. I got a cyan card.
Moxley: Nice job Miles. You may take the next three months off from school for being funny.
(Miles walks away)
ryan: I got a swampy green card.
Moxley: Nice job ryan. You may take the next month off from school.
(Spongy walks up)
Spongy: I got a magenta card.
Moxley: Good work Spongy. You may take the next week off from school.
(CakeCup walks up)
CakeCup: I got a green card.
Moxley: Good job CakeCup. You may take the next day off from school.
(CakeCup walks away)
E.V.I.L.: I got a white card.
Moxley: Okay.
(beat)
(another beat)
Popeye: MOVE ALREADY
Moxley: Stop it Popeye. That is rude.
(E.V.I.L. sits back down)
Ling-Ling: What? I got a beige card?
Moxley: I am sorry Ling-Ling. You are not getting in trouble but we will have a little talk after class.
(Ling-Ling walks away)
(TheOpenWindowManiac jumps out of a mailbox with his card)
OWM: I got a orange card.
Moxley: That is right OWM. You need to stop jumping out of the mailbox. You get detention for 1 hour.
(OWM climbs back into the mailbox)
(Prohibit walks up)
Prohibit: Hey! I got a yellow card! That is unfair!
Moxley: Prohibit you need to pay more attention in class. You have one hour detention
(Prohibit, annoyed, walks away)
(cwn walks up with a light grey card)
cwn (sadly): I got a light grey card.
Moxley: YES cwn. YOU NEED TO STOP RUINING OTHER THINGS WITH YOUR POWERS. GO TO DETENTION FOR THREE HOURS RIGHT NOW.
(cwn walks away)
(Griffbob walks up)
Griffbob: WHY DO I HAVE A MEDIUM GREY CARD?
Moxley: THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE RUDE AND ANNOYING. YOU HAVE TO STOP, GRIFFBOB. GO TO DETENTION FOR 5 HOURS.
(Griffbob walks away madly)
(ssj walks up)
ssj: I got a dark gray card.
Moxley: YOU WERE FIRED FOR A REASON. GO TO DETENTION FOR 10 HOURS!
(ssj walks away)
(Bagel walks up)
Bagel: I got a metal card. I am okay with that.
Moxley: Yes Bagel. You made too many references to bad metal bands. You get the metal card because you deserve it. Go to detention forever.
(Bagel walks away)
(The Drifter drifts up to Moxley)
The Drifter: What is this? A maroon card? YOU WILL TASTE CARDBOARD PANCAKE BIRDS FOR ETERNITY WITHOUT EATING!
Moxley: YOU NEED TO STOP GIVING RANDOM PUNISHMENTS TO PEOPLE. YOU ARE SUSPENDED FOR 5 DAYS.
(The Drifter drifts away)
(Lego walks up)
Lego (on the phone): Hold on for a minute.
(Lego puts his phone down)
Lego: I got a puke card! Why?
Moxley: NO PHONES IN CLASS, LEGO. YOU ARE SUSPENDED FOR 10 DAYS.
(OBAB walks up)
OBAB (crying): I don't wanna have a brown card!
Moxley: OBAB, YOU KNOW MEMES ARE AGAINST THE RULES AT THIS SCHOOL. YOU ARE SUSPENDED FOR 15 DAYS.
(OBAB walks away, crying)
(Brick falls from the ceiling)
Brick: I got a dark red card!
Moxley: BRICK, YOU ARE BY FAR THE MOST ANNOYING STUDENT I HAVE EVER HAD THE DISPLEASURE TO WORK WITH. YOU ARE SUSPENDED FOR 20 DAYS.
(-TheTopSheep- walks up)
-TheTopSheep-: What the? A light red card? You must be joking.
Moxley: YOU ARE NOT AN OFFICIAL CHARACTER ON THIS SHOW, STOP APPEARING IN EPISODES! YOU ARE SUSPENDED FOR 25 DAYS!
(-TheTopSheep- walks away)
(Popeye walks up)
Popeye: I got dead meat. How predictable
(The screen turns red and starts shaking)
Moxley: THAT IS RIGHT POPEYE. YOU ARE THE WORST STUDENT TO EVER EXIST IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. YOU ARE MORE HORRIBLE THAN ANY OTHER STUDENT IN ANY OTHER CLASS. YOU ARE BANNED FOREVER. LEAVE SBMTOPIA.
(We see Popeye at the city limits of SBMtopia)
Popeye: Goodbye, life.
(Popeye walks though the screen)






(We see a house with a husband and wife)
(We hear a knock on the door)
Wife: Dear, can you get that?
(The husband walks to the door. He opens it, and we see Popeye.)
Husband: OH MY GOD IT'S HAROLD
Popeye: Um...hi.
Husband: HAROLD WHAT DID YOU GET AS YOUR GRADING CARD?
Popeye: I got dead meat.
Husband: DEAD MEAT? NO SON OF MINE WILL GET DEAD MEAT! YOU ARE GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED FOR 127152535151516273515417263536918175363927515193836261782038261793836271819020386251619027365279007542223798263635368382020171763643424178263524716533437777886355464829163800754332123579920836363570000000000003653535281929376363637365353536676353636336367363636 YEARS.
(Popeye starts crying)
Husband: THAT IS MORE LIKE IT
(We cut to RL Bagel watching this on his computer)
RL Bagel: Heh.
(RL Brick walks in)
RL Brick: Hey man, what are you doing?
(RL Bagel quickly hides the computer behind his back)
RL Bagel (nervously): Nothing...nothing.
(RL Brick attempts to see behind RL Bagel's back)
RL Brick: Are you...using GoAnimate?
RL Bagel: I'M SORRY I HAD TO
RL Brick: I can't believe you would do this. We can't be friends anymore.
(RL Brick walks away)
RL Bagel: WHYLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
The End

I'm enjoying this episode, very nice.

BagelsinEurope said:

(-TheTopSheep- walks up)
-TheTopSheep-: What the? A light red card? You must be joking.
Moxley: YOU ARE NOT AN OFFICIAL CHARACTER ON THIS SHOW, STOP APPEARING IN EPISODES! YOU ARE SUSPENDED FOR 25 DAYS!
(-TheTopSheep- walks away)

Click to expand...

rlly m8

Putting the show on temporary hiatus while the last few episodes are getting finished up. Thanks for being patient.

Here's a new episode. Sorry, we're on a bit of a "whenever" schedule now.

Last Resort
Written by BagelsinEurope and someone random online

(We see Pinhead Larry at his funeral parlor)
(Pinhead Larry sighs)
Pinhead: God...activity is so slow this month. I haven't got a single customer in a month!
(Pinhead opens the cash register. We see nothing but spiderwebs and dust)
Pinhead: Gah, why can't people just die?
(Pinhead looks out the window)
Pinhead: Look at those people. All I want is their bodies dead and in a coffin!
(Pinhead stands there for a second)P
Pinhead: Well...I guess this is my last resort. I'm gonna have to do it myself.
ryan: So you're gonna CUT THEIR LIFE INTO PIECES?
Ling-Ling: With SUFFOCATION?
Miles: NO BREATHiNG?
Pinhead: Gah...have we really got to the point where we're using this as humor instead of coming up with creative jokes ourselves?
RL Bagel: Yes.
Pinhead: First the metal references, then these jokes, and now we're expecting people to laugh at making fun of ourselves? Dam, now even I'm being a hypocrite.
RL Bagel: THE PARASITE KILLS
Pinhead: MAKE IT STOP NOW WE HAVE ALL 3 IN ONE SCENE
RL Bagel: I AM THE KING OF UNFUNNY COMEDY!
Pinhead: AAAAAAAAAH CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE ALREADY
(RL Bagel gets an sbgrin look on his face)
Pinhead: Oh boy.
(beat)
(beat)
(beat)
(beat)
(beat)
OMLJ: MY LEG
(beat)
(beat)
OMLJ: Really? No one's gonna call medical help. Wow. Talk about rude.
(beat)
(beat)
IAmBagel: Wow, this script is really mediocre at this point. Can we at least move on with the plot.
RL Bagel: No. We got to punish Pinhead more.
IAmBagel: Okay, you know what?
(IAmBagel cuts a rope and an anvil lands on Pinhead's head, crushing him. He starts to bleed.)
IAmBagel: Okay. He's punished. Can we move on with the script now?
(We cut to Pinhead at an apartment building. There is a bandage on the side of his head)
Pinhead: Okay. This character hasn't been in any episodes yet, no one will miss him.
IAmBagel: Hey, you haven't been in any episodes before this one either though-
(Pinhead cuts a rope and an anvil lands on IAmBagel's head, crushing him. He starts to bleed.)
Pinhead: ssh
(Pinhead knocks on a door)
(Alex SquarePants opens)
Alex: Yes?
Pinhead: Hey...do you want candy?
(beat)
Alex: HELL YEAH
Pinhead: Okay. Then get in my van.
Alex: You got mac and cheese too?
Pinhead: Yep. Plus potato chips, chocolate chip cookies, top ramen, and chicken nuggets.
Alex: CHICKEN NUGGETS YES
Pinhead: Okay, you ready to go?
Alex: Just a second.
(Alex runs inside, and then comes out with something in his pocket)
Alex: Yep. Let's go.
Pinhead: Okay. Get in the trunk of the van. Don't eat anything yellow.
(Alex gets in the trunk of the van)
Pinhead: Have fun in there.
Alex: I'm gonna have some mac and cheese!
(Pinhead goes into the driver's seat of the van. Once he gets in, Alex screams)
Alex: THERE'S NO MICROWAVE AND THE MAC AND CHEESE IS COLD! YOU TRICKED ME YOU MONSTER!
Pinhead: Yeah. It would be too nice of me to give you warm mac and cheese. You see, I'm the bad guy. And now that you've fell into my trap, I'm gonna drive you to the moon and then blow it up! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(Pinhead slams on the gas)
Alex: You know what? I'm gonna call the authorities on you!
(Alex pulls out his phone and starts to dial)
(Pinhead does a u-turn and goes straight underground)
Pinhead: MUAHAHAHA! DOWN HERE YOU HAVE NO CELL PHONE SERVICE!
Alex: Fine I'll ram the door on you!
Pinhead: You're no match for the CHILD LOCKS OF DOOM!
Alex: NUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Pinhead: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA
Alex: ::dolphin noise:: you, I've been on TV Tropes so long I know a solution to this conflict! I've just gotta think...
Pinhead: Well, we'll be on the moon before you can finish thinking of a solution!
Alex: NUUUUUU-wait why are we going to the moon
Pinhead: Because I want to blow you up, and it's the only land area that hasn't been claimed yet.
Alex: Wait. You can't blow up the moon. Russia and America claimed it in 2020, remember?
(Pinhead slams the brakes)
Pinhead: They did?
Alex: Yep.
Pinhead: Dang, where the heck else am I gonna blow you up legally?
Alex: Why do you even want to blow me up, what did I ever do to you?
Pinhead: I JUST WANT TO HAVE BUSINESS AT MY FUNERAL PARLOR BUT NO ONES DYING
Alex: Dude, chill out. Even if you did blow me up, you would die too and you wouldn't be able to make money off of my death. And hey, who knows, maybe we'll have some huge die-off soon.
Pinhead: Yeah, I guess I was overreacting.
Alex: Yeah. Now let's go get ice cream.
Pinhead: Ice cream? Really.
Alex: Yep.
(Alex pulls out two ice creams from his pocket)
Alex: You didn't think I didn't prepare for this part of the story, did you?
(Flashback)
Pinhead: Okay, you ready to go?
Alex: Just a second.
(Alex runs inside, and then comes out with something in his pocket. However, this time, we zoom in on that pocket thing, which appears to be the shape of two ice creams)
Alex: Yep. Let's go.
(Flashback ends)
Pinhead: You mean...you knew everything I was gonna do?
Alex: Yep. I even wrote notecards of what to say when.
(Alex shows his notecards.)
Pinhead: Wow. Tell you what, since you bothered getting these ice creams, I'll get you a microwave for the cold mac and cheese.
Alex: THANK YOU!
(Pinhead drives up to a store. He jumps out of the car, runs in the store, and runs out with a microwave and an angry mob chasing him)
Pinhead: GET IN THE VAN NOW HERE'S THE MICROWAVE LET'S GO
(Pinhead throws the microwave to Alex, who catches it, and jumps in the car. Pinhead jumps into the car and slams the door, just barely avoiding a hand about to grab his leg. He puts the keys in and slams on the gas. The car drives through a tree and madly away)
Alex: There's no plugs back here.
Pinhead: SSH THEY'RE GAINING ON US
Alex: Who? I hope not the fans.
Pinhead: Wouldn't you know?
RL Bagel: uh oh plot hole for a joke
(RL Bagel dies)
(Alex looks out the trunk window)
Alex: YOU HAD TO STEAL IT
Pinhead: WE JUST NEED TO DRIVE SO FAR OUT THAT THEY CAN'T RUN ANYMORE
Alex: My apartment is a safe place.
(Pinhead does a U-turn and drives back, running over the entire angry mob)
Alex: Well, I guess that solved that problem.
(Pinhead stops, looks out the window and sees all the dead bodies, blood and guts everywhere)
Pinhead: Hey, it looks like I got even more business than I bargained for! Oh well, I guess I don't need to drive anywhere anymore.
(beat)
Alex: Could you still give me a ride home?
(We cut to Alex back at home.)
Pinhead: Alright. Sorry about the whole "blow you up and destroy the moon" thing.
Alex: Nah, it's okay. I still got the mac and cheese so it worked out in the end.
(Alex sits down at his desk and goes on his computer)
Pinhead: So now what?
(beat)
Pinhead: Alex?
(Pinhead pokes Alex)
Pinhead: GET YER HANDS OFF ME WOMAN
(Pinhead shrugs, and walks away)
THE END

EPILOUGE
OMLJ: How did this possibly make its way into an episode rated TV-Y? Without the word "woman", this may have been only a somewhat typical example of cartoon violence. As it is, however, it is beyond sexist - it is a frightening depiction of domestic abuse that no one should have to witness in a cartoon aimed at children. It's even more horrifying because Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy essentially live together and so this act of violence is an absolutely unfunny spousal battery. What on earth were the writers thinking? More importantly, why did Nickelodeon believe that this could be aired?

This is the last normal episode of the show. After this we get Brick's finale, then a story arc which has then a super long special that's one of the longest episodes in the series ever. Plus more specials and episodes, and then the finale, and then the end. Wow, I can't believe it's almost over. ANYWAY, the episodes are just gonna come out at a really slow pace. I'm saying the series will probably be over by September. I know there's not many episodes but I fell asleep on production and need a lot of time to finish the episodes and make them good. Sorry about the inconvenience. Enjoy this episode for now, though.

Will I ever be in this?

BenPaz said:

Will I ever be in this?

Click to expand...

Probably not since the show's about to end. Maybe you can get a cameo or something though.

omfg so I just finished writing "Brick's Last One Ever" and
UGHHHHH
the FEELINGS I am FEELING right now
this one's a little over half the length of YAK Attack
not sure when it's airing
I don't even really wanna post a preview I just wanna tell you guys THIS IS GOOD
also I think this episode has the longest production length of any ep. it look exactly 2 months and 4 days to write

BrickSponge2015 said:

omfg so I just finished writing "Brick's Last One Ever" and
UGHHHHH
the FEELINGS I am FEELING right now
this one's a little over half the length of YAK Attack
not sure when it's airing
I don't even really wanna post a preview I just wanna tell you guys THIS IS GOOD
also I think this episode has the longest production length of any ep. it look exactly 2 months and 4 days to write

Click to expand...

trust me guys it's one of the best episodes of the series
also the longest production on an episode was "Purify" which took 4 months
this is really close though
anyway a really awesome ep, absolutely amazing

I tired to find this awhile ago but for what ever reason I couldn't.

Read it now though, good work. Sad there won't be a season 4.

YOU GUYS READY?

(We open on a black screen, and then the words “PREVIOUSLY ON THE SBM SHOW” appear in white text)
Patchy: (crying in the shower) GO AWAY KIDS THERE’S NOT ANY EPISODES WRITTEN BY BRICK ANYMORE
Potty: SQUAWK WHAT ABOUT THE LAST ONE EVER SQUAWK
Patchy: OH MY GOD
Patchy: YOU’RE RIGHT
Patchy: TO THE MALL
(We cut to Patchy recklessly driving through the mall in one of those tiny parking enforcement vehicles)
Potty: SQUAWK WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH WITH THIS SQUAWK
Patchy: SHUT UP THERE HE IS
(Patchy points at RL Brick sitting on a bench playing Goat Simulator)
Patchy: THE NAZIS ARE THE ENEMY
(Patchy runs over RL Brick and takes a tape out of his pocket. The tape is labeled “BRICK’S LAST ONE EVER”)
Patchy: NOW WE GOTTA BUY SOME POPCORN AND A BOX OF TISSUES AND WE’LL BE ON OUR WAY
WAY TOO MUCH CAPS LOCK LATER
(We see Patchy watching TV in his house)
Patchy: ok
Patchy: we’re ready
(Patchy shoves the tape into his DVD player and a countdown begins on the TV screen. Patchy violently shakes, spilling popcorn everywhere)
(beat)
(The countdown stops)
RL Brick: (on TV) TIME KEEPS ON SLIPPING SLIPPING SLIPPING INTO THE FUTURE
Eugene Mirman: (on TV) m a r i j u a n a
Krusty the Clown: (on TV) What the hell was that?
(The video glitches out and the tape ends)
(beat)
Patchy: THAT’S THE LOST EPISODE? THAT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF CHEAP WALK CYCLES!
Potty: no it was just some weird stuff happening
(Patchy violently murders Potty)
Patchy: BRICKSPONGE BETRAYED US!
(Patchy goes through his house, destroying random SBM Show merchandise, including but not limited to off-model dolls and a handheld massager with the show’s logo on it)
Patchy: I’M GONNA THROW AWAY ALL MY SBM SHOW STUFF!
(Patchy rips a painting of a swastika off his wall and snaps it in half)
Patchy: I’M GONNA RUN AWAY! THAT’S WHAT I’ll DO, I’ll RUN AWAY!
* Patchy ran away
Potty: SQUAWK THE REAL EPISODE’S STARTING
Patchy: (incredibly distorted with red filter) OH BOY

Episode 4A: Journey to Fort Lox
Written by BrickSponge2015

(We see Brick’s house. He’s browsing SBM)
Brick: This website is so awesome! It makes me want to-
(A spaceship/time machine thingy crashes through the wall and a clone of Brick jumps out- this Brick has an eyepatch, an epic cape, etc)
Brick Clone: (stumbling around and stuttering in a manner similar to Rick Sanchez) NOPE! NO… NO SINGING! CUT THE CRAP!
Brick: Who are you?
Brick Clone: I’m you from the future.
(Future!Brick looks around)
Future!Brick: God, my old house sucks.
(Future!Brick randomly grabs Brick’s soda and starts drinking it while he eats his chips)
Future!Brick: You know what else sucks? This episode. The- the jokes are so cringey, it’s like- I don’t know if they’re even jokes!
Brick: Episode?
Future!Brick: I’ll explain everything later. But here’s what’s important: you gotta come with me. We’re gonna be rich! Well, I’m gonna be rich, and you’re gonna help me. But I’m you! So, what do you say?
Brick: ...jokes?
Future!Brick: Oh, great.
(Future!Brick begins going through Brick’s fridge and digging around in his trash)
Future!Brick: This is back when I was still a total idiot and everything wasn’t totally meta. Or was it already totally meta? Eh, who cares.
(Future!Brick pulls a leaking battery out of the trash)
Future!Brick: Hey, this is great! Why’d you throw this away?
(Future!Brick pulls some futuristic laser thingy out of nowhere and puts the battery inside. The laser thingy glitches out and then it fires on its own)
Future!Brick: Whoa!
(Future!Brick drops the gun. The laser creates a small explosion, destroying some of the wall and leaving everything charred)
Future!Brick: (coughing) It works!
(As the smoke clears, a portal opens and Rick Sanchez steps out)
Rick: What the HELL, Brick? You- you stole my- my- *burps* my speech patterns! I- I fricking-
Morty: Gee, Rick, I-
Rick: GET BACK IN THE CAR!
(Future!Brick takes advantage of this distraction and shoots Rick)
Rick: oh god
(Rick collapses and Future!Brick turns back to Brick)
Future!Brick: So, what do you say? Make your future self rich, how ‘bout it?
Brick: Meh. Sounds like too much work.
Future!Brick: I had a feeling you’d say that. That’s why I brought THIS!
(Future!Brick points his laser gun at Brick, but Brick shoots him with his brick gun before he can do anything)
Future!Brick: WHY DID I GIVE YOU THAT?
(Future!Brick passes out)
(beat)
(Brick slowly drags the bodies into his closet, and gets back on his computer)

Brick’s Last One Ever
An SBM Show Special
Written by BrickSponge2015
Special Thanks to BagelsinEurope and Noah Spongy

(Bagel is sitting at his computer. There’s a really long, awkward pause as he browses the internet)
Bagel: Huh. That’s a stupid name for a chiropractor.
(Bagel’s house suddenly explodes)
Bagel: OH WHAT IT SEEMS MY HOUSE HAS EXPLODED WHO COULD HAVE DONE SUCH A THING
Brick: IT WAS ME ALL ALONG
Bagel: BUT
Bagel: WHY
Brick: BC YOU OWE ME A SODA AND ALSO I-
Bagel: Hold up. I’m sorry, I’m just really not feeling this episode.
Brick: Really? What’s wrong?
Bagel: The script is just stupid. You blow up my house because I owe you a soda? That doesn’t make any sense.
Brick: Dumber stuff has happened on this show.
(beat)
Brick: ...and we’ve done most of it.
Bagel: I know, but… still. This show is almost over. We should be doing our best work.
Brick: But it’s not almost over, remember?
Bagel: What?
Brick: Yeah. That suspicious-looking guy in my house gave us a whole ‘nother season’s worth of scripts that we can film on a low budget
(We see a shadowy figure watching them from Brick’s window a few feet away)
Bagel: (reading scripts) But these scripts are terrible! I’d rather the show die peacefully than go on forever and turn into total garbage.
Pretty Much all of the Internet: LIKE SPONGEBOB AND THE SIMPSONS?
Bagel: AHH! WHERE’D THEY COME FROM?
(Brick throws a dank meme into the alley. The internet runs after it and disappears)
Bagel: Thanks. Besides, these scripts won’t work on a low budget at all. Why do we have to have CGI walnuts?
Brick: Why do you have to keep complaining?
Bagel: I’m not complaining. I just want the show to die with dignity, that’s all. Quality over quantity, you know?
Brick: Yeah, I guess. Do you wanna just start filming the last few episodes we had planned now?
Bagel: I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.
???: WRONG ANSWER!
(Bagel and Brick turn around and see Future!Brick pointing a laser gun at them)
Bagel: Who are you?
Future!Brick: I’m Brick from the future. You see, if the show ends now, I get less royalties money. And if I get less royalties money, Brick can’t be rich in the future. And if past me can’t be rich in the future, I can’t go back in time to make sure that we’re rich in the future.
(beat)
Bagel: ...what?
Future!Brick: I don’t really know either. Technically, I shouldn’t even exist. Point is, I like being rich, and I also like existing. So if you don’t get your butts back on the set and keep filming the next season, I’m gonna have to use this.
(Future!Brick shoots a squirrel with his laser. The squirrel doesn't react at all)
Bagel: But why should we be scared? That didn’t do anything.
Future!Brick: I kinda programmed it so it wouldn’t hurt squirrels. We need them in the future. Long story short, they figured out how to have working communism or something. I’m not really sure. Anyways, film the episodes or die.
Bagel: But these episodes are terrible! Why don’t you, uh, I don’t know, make them good?
Future!Brick: OH MY GOD, IS IT ALWAYS LIKE THIS WITH YOU PEOPLE? All you ever talk about is THINGS. Things like quality, public decency, common sense. But I’m gonna let you in on a little secret.
(Future!Brick gets wayyyyy too close to Bagel’s ear)
Future!Brick: (whispering) money
(Future!Brick takes a step back)
Future!Brick: So, yeah. Film the episodes, or I’m gonna tear you in half. Just something to think about.
Brick: Wait! You can’t kill me! I’m you!
Future!Brick: Nuh-uh. I’ve done this before.
Brick: You’ve… done this before?
Future!Brick: Yeah, I’ve been practicing. I’ve killed myself a thousand times in the past and I’ll kill myself a thousand times in the future.
Bagel: How does that work?
Future!Brick: It’s science. You’re not supposed to understand it. Welp, I’m gonna go get coffee. See you guys back here in 60 minutes. Sound good? Okay.
(Future!Brick walks away)
Bagel: What the heck just happened?
Brick: I’m not really sure, but I’m not worried.
Bagel: Really? You’re not?
Brick: Yeah, it took that loser like a year and a half to finally go ahead with this. I’m surprised the chicken actually did it!
Bagel: Okay. First, he was probably planning that whole time, which means he’s thought this out and we should be very worried. Second, YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?
Brick: Yeah. That dude’s been in my closet since, like, the 80s or something.
Bagel: I- HOW DID YOU- (sighs) Whatever.
(beat)
Bagel: You know what? We’re not gonna let that guy turn our show into total ::dolphin noise::. We’re gonna put up a fight. If he thinks he can ruin our show, he’s gonna have to go through us first.
Brick: But wasn’t that implied the entire time? Like, there was the whole “join me or die” sorta thing…
Bagel: Well, yeah, but… nevermind. Point is, WHO’S WITH ME?
(Brick raises his hand)
(beat)
Bagel: Huh. I think we’re gonna need more people.
20 MINUTES LATER
(We cut to the citizens of SBMtopia outside Town Hall. Bagel and Brick are giving a speech. Moxley and Kevin are next to them)
Bagel: So if he thinks he can ruin our show, he’s wrong. WHO’S WITH ME?
(beat)
(Everybody slowly raises their hand)
Brick: ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Everyone: YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(The crowd starts cheering)
Bagel: So, does anyone have any questions?
BobSponge: I have one.
Bagel: Yeah?
BobSponge: We’re in a show?
(beat)
Bagel: How about we start preparing?
E.V.I.L: We’ll need transportation!
(E.V.I.L’s back suddenly randomly expands so everybody in the whole town can just barely fit on it)
SBManiac: Or we could take my limo.
E.V.I.L: OH THANK GOD
JakeFromStateFarm: We’ll need insurance! I can cover that.
Storm: We’ll need pizza!
Miles: I ate those food
GriffBob: Hey, didn’t you get banned?
(beat)
(Storm awkwardly sets down the pizza and backs away)
Slash: We’ll need music!
(Constantine steals Slash’s car)
Poseidon: We can use my insane samurai skills!
Jerry: AW YEA
Award: We can use my powers!
Drifter: YOU SHALL BE you know what I can’t think of any weird threats anymore but I’ll help
IAmBagel: BAGEL GUN
Moxley: We’ll need a leader!
Brick: That’s me!
Moxley: (rejected) Oh…
Popeye: Wait, is having Brick as a leader really a good idea?
Bagel: You know what they say- fight Brick with Brick.
Kevin: Nobody says that.
Bagel: Yeah, but I thought it was fitting because-
Brick: Bagel, nobody says that.
Bagel: Nevermind. Are we all ready to go?
Prez: Wait. I want to help.
Brick: But you’re the bad guy! How could you possibly help?
Prez: We’re fighting a greater evil! Besides, didn’t YAK Attack teach you anything?
Bagel: Excellent point.
Prez: TO THE LAB!
(Bagel and Brick lead the huge army of SBMtopians towards Prez’s lab when Future!Brick suddenly walks in front of them)
Future!Brick: Hey guys! I’m back from getting coffee and- wait, is that an army?
Brick: WE WON’T LET YOU RUIN OUR PERFECT SHOW!
(beat)
Brick: We won’t let me ruin our perfect show? They won’t let me ruin my perfect show? I don’t know. Point is, YOU’RE GOING DOWN!
Future!Brick: Ah, I thought this might happen. That’s why I brought this.
(Future!Brick pulls out a remote)
Bagel: What’s that?
Future!Brick: Why don’t we find out?
Bagel: NO DON’T-
(Future!Brick presses a button)
(beat)
Brick: Nothing happened.
(Suddenly the sky turns dark red and everything starts glitching out like crazy)
Brick: wHaT’s HaPpEnInG
Bagel: JuSt HoLd On
Future!Brick: IT’S HAPPENING! IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING! SBMTOPIA, I PRESENT TO YOU A NEW WORLD. A WORLD WITH NO BOUNDARIES. A WORLD WITH NO BARRIERS. A WORLD WITH NO LIMITS. A WORLD WITH NO STATUS QUO. A WORLD WITH NO FOURTH WALL.
(creepy zoom in on Future!Brick)
Future!Brick: A world with practically nothing.
(The screen cuts to black)

(We slowly fade in on Bagel slowly floating through a void. He’s glitching between costumes from previous episodes)
Bagel: Wha… what happened?
(Bagel looks around)
Bagel: Where am I? Wait… is that the McDeathStar? I thought we blew that up like a season ago.
(The McDeathStar starts glitching out and melts)
Bagel: ...what?
(Bagel looks around some more and sees a bunch of things from previous episodes glitching out)
Bagel: What is this place?
???: BAGEL
Bagel: Huh? Who’s that?
???: BAGEL
Bagel: SHOW YOURSELF!
???: BAGEL
Bagel: WE DON’T WANT ANY!
???: BAGEL
Bagel: QUIT SAYING THAT!
???: BAGEL
Bagel: Yup. Okay.
???: BAGEL
Bagel: …
???: BAGEL
Bagel: … … …
???: tHIS IS A DEBUT
Bagel: Hey, that’s new.
(Bagel starts falling)
Bagel: AHHHHHHHHHH
(Bagel’s living room suddenly appears and Bagel lands inside)
Bagel: Ow.
(Bagel walks outside and sees all of the SBMtopians standing around)
Bagel: Hey, guys!
Brick: Hey, where’d you come from?
Bagel: I don’t even know. Where are we?
Brick: It’s kinda like SBMtopia, but… different.
Bagel: What do you mean?
Brick: Like, there’s a bunch of stuff from old episodes appearing and disappearing all over the place.
Bagel: Yeah, I can see that.
(A giant knife suddenly appears next to Bagel)
Bagel: AHHHH
(We see Future!Brick on the floating platform from YAK Attack, flying above the glitchy city)
Future!Brick: Piece of ::dolphin noise::. Okay, let’s try this again. KNIFE!
(Future!Brick presses a button on his remote and another knife appears next to Bagel)
Future!Brick: HEY, BAGEL? COULD YOU MAYBE STAND IN ONE PLACE FOR A WHILE SO I CAN STAB YOU? THANKS!
Bagel: WHAT? NO!
Future!Brick: MEANIE! WHY ARE YOU MAKING MY LIFE SO DIFFICULT BY TRYING TO STAY ALIVE?
(Future!Brick looks around for a second, then throws the controller at Bagel. It hits him in the head)
Bagel: Ow! HAHA, GOT YOUR CONTROLLER!
Future!Brick: Who cares? I got a dozen of these!
(Future!Brick grabs another controller)
Brick: Wait.
(Brick takes the controller from Bagel)
Brick: KNIFE!
(Brick presses a button. A giant knife appears and cuts Future!Brick’s platform in half. Future!Brick falls down and hits the ground)
Future!Brick: Oh no.
Brick: Guys, we can defeat him with this!
Future!Brick: (nervous) Yeah, well… um… I’m gonna escape!
(Future!Brick steals a car and drives away)
Brick: AFTER HIM!
(The army of SBMtopians run after the car, but they can’t catch up)
Brick: Hmmm… INCREDIBLY LONG LIMO!
(Brick summons an incredibly long limo and gets in the driver’s seat. Everyone else piles inside)
Popeye: DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!
(Brick speeds away after Future!Brick)
Future!Brick: GREAT WALL OF CHINA!
(The Great Wall of China suddenly appears, blocking Brick’s path)
Brick: WALL ON THE MEXICAN BORDER!
(The Great Wall of China gets replaced by thin air)
Future!Brick: HELICOPTER!
(Future!Brick’s car transforms into a helicopter and he flies away)
Moxley: HE’S GETTING AWAY!
Brick: INCREDIBLY LONG LIMO THAT CAN FLY!
(The limo starts flying)
Future!Brick: MISSILES!
(Future!Brick’s helicopter starts shooting missiles at the limo. Brick just barely dodges them)
Brick: PINKEYE!
(A horrible spider creature that resembles Mr. Fischoeder from Bob’s Burgers suddenly appears and starts attacking the helicopter)
Future!Brick: Screw this. I’m out.
(Future!Brick jumps out of the helicopter)
Bagel: WOOOOO! WE WON!
(The limo crashes into a super glitchy McDeathStar and explodes)
Bagel: ow
(Bagel sees Future!Brick flying away)
Bagel: Hey! How did you get away? I thought the helicopter got destroyed!
Future!Brick: It did! I got a new one!
Bagel: Crap.
Brick: Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?
Patrick: YOU GET BEHIND HER AND I’LL PUSH
(Patrick dies)
Brick: That’s actually pretty close. We need to use this magic remote thingy to summon some of the most bad::dolphin noise:: pop culture characters we can think of to take down future me!
Bagel: But… why?
Brick: This is the SBM Show. We don’t ask questions.
(We cut to Future!Brick’s helicopter crash-landing on some distant planet)
Future!Brick: Aw, crap. It’s gonna take, like, forty minutes to repair this! Who knows how long that could be?
Ice Bear: Ice Bear heard joke stolen from We Bare Bears.
Future!Brick: Wait, why is Ice Bear here?
Ice Bear: Ice Bear is here to kick ::dolphin noise::. With axe.
Future!Brick: Get off my lawn, idiot.
Brick: HOW ‘BOUT YOU GET OFF MY LAWN AND ON MY LEVEL?
(Future!Brick turns around and sees Brick leading a giant army of SBMtopians, cartoon characters and memes)
Future!Brick: Wait, where’d you get that giant army?
Brick: Found it in the hammerspace.
Future!Brick: Oh.
Bagel: Our army consists of…
Brick: The cast of Kingdumb!
Princess: Wait, did our show technically ever end?
King: Meh, whatever.
Brick: Ice Bear!
Ice Bear: Ice Bear has previously been introduced.
Brick: The Crystal Gems!
(The gems summon their weapons)
Brick: Dank memes!
(We see Kazoo Kid, Spongegar, Gambol, Pepe, Bill Cipher, the Family Man, and Sans the skeleton)
Kazoo Kid: *plays kazoo*
Sans: (reading YouTube comments) please kill me
Bagel: no
Sans: PLEASE-
Brick: You know, this army is so huge it would probably just be easier to introduce everyone with a huge shot.
(We pan over the aforementioned army, every single character that’s ever been mentioned on the SBM show, Louise Belcher, Rick and Morty, Bret McKenzie, Jemaine Clement, Squidward, Mr. Krabs, Pops, Benson and Techmo from Regular Show, Garfielf, Peridot, Bill Cipher, Meatwad, future Mr. Burns from the Simpsons episode “Rosebud”, Ron Swanson, JonTron, TOM, GIR, Patchy the Pirate, various creatures from Grand Channel videos, a giant grasshopper with Donald Trump’s head, SPOONS RATTLING, and several other satanic creations)
Future!Brick: (nervous) Well… uh… I have my own army, too!
(Future!Brick summons an exact copy of Brick’s army, but with Future!Brick’s face poorly photoshopped onto everyone)
Bagel: Crap.
Brick: I think we can still do this.
(This starts playing as the two armies stare each other down: https://youtu.be/IpF93JeQRrc)
Sans: OH GOD, OH GOD, THIS IS TRIGGERING MY PTSD
(Sans commits suicide)
Brick: Bye!
(beat that lasts until we’re 11 seconds into the video)
Brick: *unintelligible battle cry*
(Brick’s army attacks. They run forward, then ::dolphin noise:: gets INSANE right away. The Family Man is doing cartwheels off of everyone, Kazoo Kid is somehow kazoo-ing people to death, Ice Bear stabs some guy with his axe, Garfielf is destroying everything with lasaga breath, SPOONS RATTLING does a satanic dance, GIR is shooting explosive muffins out of his brain, etc. Bill Cipher’s killing thousands of Future!Brick’s clones and then stops to think for a second)
Bill Cipher: WHY AM I STILL ALIVE?
Sans: right there with ya, buddy.
(Sans drinks a bottle of ketchup and then attempts suicide again)
Louise: (attacking her clone with a knife) DIE! DIE! DIE!
Jacques: eat laser ::dolphin noise::s
(Jacques shoots a laser)
Techmo: I’VE GOT A ::dolphin noise::ING PANINI MAKER IN MY ARM
(A panini shoots out of Techmo’s arm and kills some guy. We cut to Brick and Bagel on the edge of a cliff, watching the chaos unfold)
Bagel: I think we’re winning!
Brickl: You think so?
(Suddenly, Brick gets hit by a wrecking ball. We see Future!Brick controlling it and laughing maniacally)
Bagel: WHERE’D YOU GET THAT FROM?
Future!Brick: (mocking) HAMMERSPACE!
Brick: I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL
(The wrecking ball swings back and destroys the crane. Brick and Future!Brick both land in a pile of trash and corpses)
Brick: Ow.
Future!Brick: HAHA!
Brick: JOKE’S ON YOU! YOU’RE LOSING!
Future!Brick: OH YEAH? DUPLICATE CLONE ARMY!
(Future!Brick’s army suddenly duplicates itself)
Brick: Pfft. Easy.
Future!Brick: Then how about this?
(Another copy of Future!Brick’s army)
Brick: I could beat all of them in my sleep.
(We see Bagel in the background making a “NO” motion with his hands)
Future!Brick: OK, another one.
Brick: Easy, just too easy!
Future!Brick: Another one.
Brick: Aww, he’s trying to be threatening.
Bagel: SHUT! UP!
Future!Brick: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(Future!Brick creates 50 clones of his army)
Brick: hey no fair that’s too many
(Bagel facepalms and we cut to Peridot attacking a bunch of Clone!Peridots)
Peridot: YOU CLODS!
(We cut to Rick and Morty surrounded by an army of clones)
Morty: OH MAN RICK WE- WE- HOW ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF THIS ONE?
Rick: I- MORTY
Morty: WHAT IS IT RICK
Rick: MORTY, THERE’S
Morty: WHAT
Rick: THERE’S- THERE’S TOO MANY OF THEM, MORTY
Morty: I KNOW, RICK
(A portal opens and Bad!Pearl and Connie from this suddenly appear: http://tagthecomicbookbroad.tumblr.com/post/114640150179/w-w-w-dot-at-pearl-and-connie-dot-com-www-pearl)
Bad!Pearl: WHOOPS WRONG TURN BETTER GO BACK
(beat)
Bad!Pearl: the hell’s goin on here?
Morty: HELP US
Bad!Pearl: OK
(beat)
Bad!Pearl: WHICH ONE DO I SHOOT
Rick: I- SHOOT THE CLONES, DUMB::dolphin noise::!
Bad!Pearl: OK OK
(beat)
(Bad!Pearl shoots the real Morty)
Rick: OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU DO
Connie: PEARL YOU KILLED MORTY
Rick: YOU- OH GOD HIS BLOOD’S EVERYWHERE
Connie: OH
Rick: OH GOD
Bad!Pearl: I- ok, listen. Sorry, everyone. I’m just gonna skedaddle the ::dolphin noise:: outta here.
(Bad!Pearl steps back into the portal and it disappears)
Connie: PEARL YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME AGAIN OH MY GOD
(JonTron waves a cross in front of one of the JonTron clones)
JonTron: OUTTA THIS HOUSE! OUTTA THIS HOUSE!
(The clone snaps the cross in half)
JonTron: That was… that was the only weapon I had…
Garfielf: (getting swarmed by other Garfielfs) BRICKLES YOUR ARMY IS A JOKE JUST LIKE A BAD TRANSLATION OF CHINESE INSTRUCTIONS FOR A TURKEY DEEP FRYER THANKSGIVING IS RUINED AND SOMEONE’S GOIN’ TO THE BURN UNIT
Brick: I’M SORRY I’M TRYING
Garfielf: AND YOU’RE FAILING
Brick: HEY YOU’RE ON MY SIDE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE ME
Garnet: No, he’s right.
Benson: YOU’RE DOING A HORRIBLE JOB!
Brick: WHAT ABOUT YOU, SANS? I LET A CHARACTER FROM A CANCEROUS GAME ONTO MY SIDE! YOU’VE GOTTA BE ROOTING FOR ME!
Sans: yeah, I’m rootin’ for ya, kid
(Sans hangs himself)
Brick: Well, what about you, Bagel?
(beat)
Brick: Bagel?
(We cut to Bagel and Future!Brick wrestling nearby)
Bagel: YOU’RE RUINING MY SHOW! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? WHY DO WE HAVE TO FIGHT YOU? WHY ARE WE WASTING TIME WE COULD BE SPENDING WRITING ONE OF THE LAST EPISODES FIGHTING YOU? WHY IS THIS A THING?
(Bagel pins Future!Brick to the ground)
Bagel: WHY
(punches Future!Brick in the face)
Bagel: ARE
(punches Future!Brick in the face)
Bagel: YOU
(punches Future!Brick in the face)
Bagel: DOING
(punches Future!Brick in the face)
Bagel: THIS?
(beat)
Future!Brick: For the lolz.
Bagel: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(Bagel starts floating, his eyes start glowing, and he shoots a bunch of lasers out of his mouth while repeatedly punching Future!Brick with 7 fists at once)
Bagel: I’LL KILL YOU!
(Bagel starts floating even higher. The music stops, everything starts glitching out and rays of light start shooting out of Bagel before he randomly explodes. We pan over everyone fighting as the shockwave destroys the clones)
Peridot: ...what the heck just happened?
Pops: JOLLY GOOD SHOW!
(We see the dust settling and then Bagel and Brick staring at Future!Brick. Future!Brick is bleeding and seems close to death)
Future!Brick: Fine. You wanna know why I did this?
Bagel: YES! (sobbing) YES, JUST TELL US ALREADY!
Future!Brick: OK. (deeply inhales) I did this so the last episode written by Brick could hopefully be super awesome.
Bagel: W-what?
Future!Brick: Yeah. I planned the whole thing out.
Bagel: B-but… how did you know we’d play along with all of this?
Future!Brick: Dude, let’s admit it. This show has gotten pretty predictable.
Bagel: Uh, kinda rude, but ok.
Future!Brick: Brick?
Brick: Yeah?
Future!Brick: This is the best idea you’ve ever had.
Brick: Thanks, future me.
(beat)
Bagel: Wait.
Brick: What is it, B-
Bagel: WAIT. YOU WERE IN ON THIS THE WHOLE TIME?
Brick: Yeah. We worked together on the plan.
Bagel: BUT- I- PEOPLE DIED!
Brick: Oh yeah.
(Bagel and Brick stare off the cliff and see the landscape covered in corpses. The only one who isn’t dead or unconscious is Sans)
Sans: (distant) kill me
Future!Brick: Don’t worry, Bagel. We can reset all of this.
Bagel: Whoa, really?
Future!Brick: Yeah. If you kill me, I’ll never have come here in the first place and everything’ll go back to normal.
Bagel: Uhhh...
Brick: I’m cool with it.
Bagel: But wait, won’t that erase these events and make this all for nothing?
Future!Brick: Technically, but as long as you have it on video the internet will probably take care of it.
Bagel: Ohhhh, that makes sense.
(beat)
Bagel: Brick? Would you like to do the honors?
Brick: With pleasure.
(Brick pulls out his brick gun and holds it up to Future!Brick’s head)
Future!Brick: I’ll be waiting for you, kid.
(Brick takes a deep breath, then pulls the trigger)



(We see a shot of Earth)
(We see a shot of SBM from above)
(We see an exterior shot of Bagel’s house)
(We see Bagel on his computer)
(beat)
Bagel: Huh. That’s a stupid name for a chiropractor.

THE END

(We see RL Brick)
RL Brick: Well, this is the end, beautiful friends. After a little under 2 years, this is Brick’s final episode. It's been a lot of fun, and we'd like to thank each and every one of you who made this journey with us. The SBM Show- but specifically Brick’s episodes in this situation- wouldn't have been anything without you. Hopefully we've left you with some good memories. So, until we meet again. Stay gold. Bang.
(RL Brick flies away into the sunset)


I honestly thought me and Bagel would get bored of this after like 8 episodes, but I'm glad to see that it's lasted. It's been a fun ride.

Awesome episode, great way to end. It's been so much fun having you write with me, Brick. So many memories, god this hits in the feels. Thanks for making so much good content and being such a good friend all this time.

And also the next episode won't be posted for a few weeks or maybe even a month because it's super long (like YAK Attack length) and I have huge writer's block. Enjoy the amazement just posted for now, and the end of the series will be posted ASAP.

ok, I sort of lied.
that was the last episode mostly written by me, but I might contribute to the actual finale a tiny bit

BagelsinEurope said:

Awesome episode, great way to end. It's been so much fun having you write with me, Brick. So many memories, god this hits in the feels. Thanks for making so much good content and being such a good friend all this time.

And also the next episode won't be posted for a few weeks or maybe even a month because it's super long (like YAK Attack length) and I have huge writer's block. Enjoy the amazement just posted for now, and the end of the series will be posted ASAP.

Click to expand...

We're planning the last episode right now and this is gonna be so amaze I promise you guys this'll be worth the wait