The SBM Show

We get TWO new episodes today! Since there was such a long break, I'm giving you guys :moar:.

Earth Day
Written by BagelsinEurope

(We open at the town square where everyone stands nervous and depressed)
Moxley: We are all aware that today is-
BobSponge: THE APOCALYPSE
Moxley: In a sense, yes. Today is *shudders* Earth Day.
(Everyone trembles with fear. Some start crying. 3 collapse. Prez starts to tie a noose)
Moxley: Before you all go to The Disintegrators, I have a plan to stop cascadian enforcement and continue destroying the environment as we please!
(Everyone cheers)
Prez (crying with joy): The best president we've had since Dave Mustaine.
Moxley: So now, we will release the SECURITY DOME!
(A gigantic dome appears around the city)
Moxley: TO SBM! WITH LIBERTY AND PLASTIC BAGS FOR ALL!
(A loud roar is heard)
Moxley: Now, we would like to take a moment of silence for all the members who died last Earth Day, serving for their city/country/county/whatever.
(A moment of silence)
Moxley: Alright, you may now go. There will be no more Earth Day in SBMtopia!
(Everyone slowly walks away)
Brick: ISNT THIS THE GREATEST THING SINCE DAVE MUSTAINE
Bagel: Is this gonna be a running gag this episode or
Brick: I DONT TELL YOU HOW TO LIFE YOUR LIVE
(Brick stomps away madly)
ssj: Hey bagel, isn't this idea the greatest thing since Dave Mustaine?
Bagel: (rolls his eyes) Yeah, I guess you're right, but there's a tiny hole at the top they might be able to get through.
(We cut to Cascadia's HQ)
Cascadian Service Agent: Bob, I've got a plan.
Bob: I'm just the janitor, Sam.
Sam: STOP SAYING THAT! I get lonely when you're the only one here besides me.
Bob: Okay...(sarcastically) What's your plan, Sam?
Sam: We will send them a drone through the hole that will mess with their brain configuration! It's the best idea since Dave Mustaine!
Bob: (condescendingly) Wow, that's interesting, Sam!
(Bob pats Sam on the head)
Sam: I swear, it will work! Just let me send this drone...
(Sam slams a big red button)
Sam: ...and soon enough they'll be helping our planet BY FORCE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(beat)
(another beat)
(yet another beat)
Sam: BOB?
Bob: What? Oh yeah, cool Sam. I'm gonna mop the floor more.
Sam: Sometimes I feel like you're not a true environmentalist.
Bob: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!
Sam: MAKE ME!
Bob: FINE! I WILL LITTER!
Sam: NUUUUUUU YOURE FORGIVEN
Bob: It's okay. I would've never done it anyways. I'm not cruel.
Sam: I knew you wouldn't.
(Environmentalist hug)
(beat)
Sam: Shouldn't we cut to SBMtopia now?
Narrator: OH SORRY
(We cut to SBMtopia)
ssj: Isn't non-earth day the best thing since Dave Mustaine?
Bagel: I'm not sure...I feel a disturbance!
(We see BobSponge on the street picking up trash)
Bagel: WHAT THE ACTUAL FREAKING ::dolphin noise:: BOBSPONGE
BobSponge: WE NEED TO PROTECT OUR ENVIRONMENT
(BobSponge tags ssj)
ssj: EAT LOCALLY GROWN FOOD
Bagel: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT IS HAPPENING!
ssj: YOULL MAKE AN EXCELLENT HELPER IN OUR BEACH CLEANUP
(Bagel ducks from being tagged)
Bagel: Okay, okay, I just gotta make it home.
(Bagel crawls down the street)
Griffbob: STUDIES SHOW THAT 80% OF SPERM WHALE DEATHS INVOLVE PLASTIC BAGS
(Bagel runs through the crowd, until he gets blocked by a group of now-cascadians)
Bagel: OH CRAP
Everyone: BECOME ONE WITH NATURE
Bagel: NUUUUUUU I MUST STAY IN THE GREAT INDOORS
(Everyone draws closer to bagel. He turns around, but notices another crowd coming closer)
Bagel: Errr...ALRIGHT FINE! Just let me say my last words first.
(Bagel clears his throat)
Bagel: My life's on time but again my sense is late.
Feel a might unsteady but I still have to play.
Six to one's the odds and we have the highest stakes.
And once again I gamble with my very life today.
Highly polished metal, the oil makes it gleam.
Fill the terror chamber, your mind begins to scream.
Your life is like a trigger, never troubled till you're squeezed.
You crack a smile as you give the gun a squeeze.
Place the pistol down, now give the gun a spin.
Soon as the spinning stops, oh no, the game starts in.
A hateful way of vengeance, a bit of playful sin.
Load another bullets, now the second round begins.
A couple grains of power, a couple grams of lead.
A touch against the trigger, a touch inside the head.
Take another drink and raise the last bets.
Think about my last words, they might be what I just said.
A click comes from the hammer that couldn't drive a nail.
Sense the numbing cold blue or the red of Hades' grill.
A fraction of a second, do you lose or maybe still.
Pass it to the left and collect your mighty kill.
Add another bullet, the third round begins.
Soon as the spinning stops, oh no, the game starts in.
Please, no IOUs no markers for death.
Does anybody play? Anybody? Somebody? Anybody play?
You, you! Next victim! You, next to die.
You, come on! Next victim! Your turn to die!
(Suddenly a helicopter appears)
(Bagel climbs up the ladder and gets inside)
Bagel: Thanks Dave Mustaine! You really are the best.
Dave Mustaine: Hey, no cold sweat(ing bullets).
Bagel: So how are we gonna take them out?
Dave Mustaine: That's what you want? Okay then...
(The helicopter flies up out of the tiny hole at the top)
Dave Mustaine: RECKONING DAY!
(Dave nukes SBMtopia)
(Gigantic explosion plays)
Bagel: YOU KILLED EVERYONE?
Dave Mustaine: They were bodies left behind. They will all rust in peace.
Bagel: Well, let's just hope Status Quo Is God.
Dave Mustaine: VICTORY

EPILOUGE
(Bagel just sits at the death site)
Bagel: Poop.
THE END?
_______________________________________________________
Day To Myself
Written by Lego Spongy

(Lego's alarm clock starts ringing, and Lego leaps out of his bed and zooms to his computer with "Everywhere You Look" playing in the background.)
Lego: Ah, SpongeBuddy Mania. The site full of SpongeBob freaks and memetastic old people who fall and can't get up. Let's see who else is online.
(Lego goes to the Member Online chart, only to see he is only person online.)
Lego: I'm all alone on SBM? Hehe, that gives me an idea...
(Lego jumps into the computer, and opens up a gate at the corner of the screen. Suddenly, a load of Storm-bots flood SBM, repeatedly spamming topics saying "SUBSCRIBE TO LEGO SPONGY". Lego then mixes the label on the top of the screen to Gambolbuddy Mania, and then he repeatedly posts in his Slif Lim School topic)
Lego: My work here is done. (Refreshes the page and looks at the members online, and sees Bagels is online.)
Lego: ERMAGERD IM IN BIG TROUBLE
(Bagels busts through Lego's door)
Bagels: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
Lego: There was noone online so, I just decided to have some fun!
Bagels: BY RELEASING A LOAD OF STORM-BOTS AND SPAMMING THE SITE?
Lego: Okay, maybe that wasn't one of my best ideas...so...uh...PHONE SAVE ME (Plugs earbuds into phone and puts the earbuds on and runs away)
Bagels: YOU COME BACK HERE
(Bagels chases Lego all the way through Schaedenfrude St, while Lego starts to sing)
Lego: I know exactly what I did,
I know I should've went and hid,
I just wanted to have some fun,
Cuz noone knew what I had done...
It was fun while it lasted,
It turned out dumb and half ::dolphin noise::ed and,
I shouldn't have abused my powers,
My friend is mad at me, I should cower...
Bagels: Stop running! Give up now!
Fix what you did and save this town!
It was just a small mistake!
Fix it now and have some cake!!
Lego: I'll fix it now!
Bagels: FIX IT NOW
Lego: I'll fix it now!
Bagels: FIX IT NOW
Lego: I SAID I'LL FIX IT!!!!!!!!
(Bagels and Lego stop running)
Lego: It was a rare chance for this to happen, and I just wanted to make the most of it! Now let me go home, I know what to do!
Bagels: Okay, fine. And I promise I won't tell ssj about this.
Lego: THANK YOU!
(Transition to Lego's house, where Lego jumps into the computer again, and fixes what he did, when suddenly ssj joins the site)
ssj: ur banned
(Everyone dies)
THE END

Enjoy the episodes.
 
I'm working on a zombie apocalypse special that could use a co-writer. PM me if you're interested.

Also one more thing, the rest of Season 3 after the next two episodes airing this Friday (the last two produced before official production began, which started last week. Since Brick has left the crew, it means I'm writing the whole season (pretty much, apart from a couple episodes at the beginning), so this season is gonna be a bit different. There's gonna be continuity and 3 story arcs that dominate most of the season. No character development or drama though. That stuff is for pussies. There may or may not be a 4th season, that is still undecided.

Last, but not least, here are the previews for the next two episodes airing this Friday.

Episode 1:
Popeye: Yep. I guess we're just gonna have to get paid somehow though.
Narrator: Guys! We're on!
(Popeye peeks behind the curtain and sees this:
giphy.gif
)
Popeye: ...or maybe we should just go broke.

Episode 2:
Nurse: Okay it's time for your brain exercises.
(Bagel goes outside, but is put on a leash)
Nurse: Try to nail the board back into the house.
(We see a hammer, a board and a house with a very obvious hole which is missing a board exactly shaped like the one bagel has)
Bagel: Hmmm...
(Bagel hammers himself on the head over and over)
Bagel: boing
 
New episodes today. After today, we'll be on schedule to end the season in early September, the original plan. One episode each week until then.

On TV
Written by BagelsinEurope

(We see Popeye waking up, hitting his alarm clock, showering, getting in his car, and driving to work. We see this sequence repeated several times)
(We see the same sequence repeated with IAmBagel instead)
(Cut to the two at work. They bump into each other)
Popeye: Oh. Hi.
IAmBagel: Yeah, hey.
(We see the same sequence from the beginning repeated again)
Popeye: Ugh, I'm getting sick of this routine. Why do I even have this? I live in a fake internet show. I'm getting out of this.
(Popeye jumps up into the air, and sits on a plank above SBMtopia)
(IAmBagel does the same)
Popeye: Hey. It's nice to just come up and sit here sometimes.
IAmBagel: What's this big box?
Popeye: That's a fake TV. We live in an internet show.
IAmBagel: Internet show? Why do they call it that?
Popeye: Because "Irrelevant Banality" is too long.
IAmBagel: So how did they become bad?
Popeye: Well, some of them just suck. Others are so obscure only a few people see them. And the rest are usually made by a creator who's a lazy person who sits on his ::dolphin noise:: and makes money while being lazy to make new episodes. In the end, nobody even gives a crap anymore.
IAmBagel: What if you just want to make something funny?
Popeye: Write for "The Amazing World of Gumball"
IAmBagel: I like that show.
Popeye: Me too. The Oracle is my favorite episode.
IAmBagel: I thought The Remote was awesome.
Popeye: Oh yeah. Let's not forget The DVD, The Responsible, The Third, The Eebt, The End, The Dress, The Quest, The Spoon, The Pressure, The Painting, The Laziest, The Ghost, The Mystery, The Prank, The Gi, The Kiss, The Party, The Refund, The Robot, The Picnic, The Goons, The Secret, The Sock, The Genius, The Poltergeist, The Mustache, The Date, The Club, The Wand, The Ape, The Car, The Curse, The Microwave, The Meddler, The Helmet, The Fight, The Colossus, The Knights, The Fridge, The Flower, The Banana, The Phone, The Job, Halloween, The Treasure, The Apology, The Words, The Skull, The Bet, Christmas, The Watch, The Bumpkin, The Flakers, The Authority, The Virus, The Pony, The Hero, The Dream, The Sidekick, The Photo, The Tag, The Storm, The Lesson, The Game, The Limit, The Voice, The Promise, The Castle, The Boombox, The Tape, The Sweaters, The Internet, The Plan, The World, The Finale, The Kids, The Fan, The Coach, The Joy, The Puppy, The Recipe, The Name, The Extras, The Gripes, The Vacation, The Fraud, The Void, The Boss, The Move, The Law, The Allergy, The Mothers, The Password, The Procrastinators, The Shell, The Burden, The Bros, The Mirror, The Man, The Pizza, The Lie, The Butterfly, The Question, The Saint, The Friend, The Safety, The Society, The Spoiler, The Countdown, The Nobody, The Downer, The Egg, The Triangle, The Money, The Nemesis, The Return, The Crew, The Others, The Signature, The Check, The Pest, The Sale, The Gift, The Parking, The Routine, The Upgrade, The Comic, The Romantic, The Uploads, The Apprentice, The Hug, The Wicked, The Traitor, The Origins, The Girlfriend, The Advice and The Signal.
IAmBagel: But I didn't like The Promise.
Popeye: Tsk tsk. You have no taste.
(Popeye turns his back)
Popeye: But anyway, internet shows are crap nowadays.
IAmBagel: Yeah. It's a shame internet shows are nothing.
Popeye: Besides, where this one is going, you can't say the words ::dolphin noise::, ::dolphin noise::, ::dolphin noise::, ::dolphin noise::, and ::dolphin noise::
IAmBagel: That's pretty ::dolphin noise::ed up.
Popeye: Pottymouth.
IAmBagel: Hey, where this is going, nobody's gonna know what I said!
Popeye: Good point. It's depressing seeing these new crappy internet shows. I'm off to find DomFear.
IAmBagel: Good luck.
(Later)
(We see Popeye, completely burnt up and destroyed)
Popeye: They have a laser alarm there.
(Flashback)
Popeye: Hello? DomFear?
(Popeye rings a doorbell)
Doorbell: IMMAH FIRING MAH LASER
(The doorbell fires a laser)
(Flashback ends)
IAmBagel: So are we screwed forever?
Popeye: Yep. I'm gonna jump.
(Popeye jumps off the plank)
IAmBagel: POPEYE! NOOO!
Popeye: Routine would take over my life anyway.
(Popeye goes inside to his house)
IAmBagel: Well, guess it's just me-AAAH!
(IAmBagel falls backwards)
King from Kingdumb: HEY! DON'T CRUSH US!
20 YEARS LATER
(We see Popeye in a penguin suit, and IAmBagel in a creepy Mickey Mouse suit)
Popeye: Remember when Internet shows were good?
IAmBagel: Yeah. Too bad we don't have stuff like The SBM Show anymore. At least that had quality to an extent.
Popeye: Yep. I guess we're just gonna have to get paid somehow though.
Narrator: Guys! We're on!
(Popeye peeks behind the curtain and sees this:
giphy.gif
)
Popeye: ...or maybe we should just go broke.
The end
_______________________________________________________
Purify
Written by BagelsinEurope

(We see a normal day in SBMtopia)
Bagel: Wow. That book was so interesting. Am I dreaming? Lemme check. Do I have 6 fingers?
Posiedon: Of course you don't. Hey, dude, get a grip on reality.
Bagel: ...Okay? Must just be the morning doldrums.
(We cut to Bagel at work, leaning on the wall)
(6 hours later)
ssj: Bagel, what are you doing?
Bagel: According to quantum physics, nothing says at any time this wall may randomly collapse if I put my hand on it.
ssj: Right. How long have you been doing this?
Bagel: 6 hours.
ssj: You do know the definition of insanity, right? It's doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Bagel: Quantum physics disagrees.
(We cut to Bagel coming home from work, hearing the sounds of Popeye playing Fade to Black by Metallica one his boombox)
Bagel: HEY POPEYE! THE DAY THAT NEVER COMES IS BETTER!
Popeye: You're insane. Go get help.
(Bagel walks inside)
Bagel: Jeez, everyone thinks I'm insane! What did I-
(We hear knocks on the door)
(Bagel opens the door)
Bagel: Hello?
BobSponge: Hey Bagel, I just wanted to say I have to get rid of you because everyone's saying you're insane and my doctor says I'm allergic to insane people.
Bagel: Your doctor didn't say that.
BobSponge: No but some guys with toothbrushes did so I have to take you to the mental hospital.
Bagel: Wait wha-
(BobSponge stuffs Bagel in the bag)
(We cut inside the bag)
Bagel: I'm tempted to make some sort of joke about how I have no control over this situation but I got nothing. Empty. Bare bones. Goat cheese. Fire dogs.
(We cut to the mental hospital)
BobSponge: AW DANGIT THERES A LINE
(BobSponge cuts in front of everyone)
Nurse: I'm sorry sir but you're gonna have to wait your turn.
BobSponge: THIS IS AN EXTREME CASE. STRAITJACKET HIM, LOCK HIM IN A RUBBER ROOM, AND THEN WE'LL SEE IF HE CAN MAKE A DECENT JOKE WHILE IN A PERILOUS SITUATION
(BobSponge drops bagel out of the bag and runs away)
Bagel: I apologize for that person. I hope I didn't intrude on anything. If you can excuse that rudeness, I will politely leave you be.
Nurse: Not so fast. You have been officially signed in, and you can't leave until you are healthy in the brain.
Bagel: Wait, what? YOU THINK I'M CRAZY! I DON'T BELONG HERE! I WENT TO COLLEGE! I HAVE A DIPLOMA! I READ A BOOK ON QUANTUM PHYSICS! I ENROLLED IN A PROGRAM TO HELP CREATE ROBOTS THAT CAN CURE CANCER! I WATCHED ASDFMOVIE WHEN I WAS 3 AND GOT A MASTER'S DEGREE AT AGE 11 (true story).
(A couple people grab bagel and put a straitjacket on him as he is saying what he just said. He struggles to escape, and is brought behind doors)
(beat)
(Bagel busts out of the doors)
Bagel: AND DEATH MAGNETIC IS BETTER THAN RIDE THE LIGHTNING!
(Bagel is pulled back in)
Nurse: Wow. He really is insane.
(We see Bagel in a rubber room)
Escort: It's okay. Here's your new house.
Bagel: HOUSE? WHAT, DO YOU MISTAKE ME FOR AN INCOMPETENT? THIS IS JUST A GIGANTIC RUBBER ROOM! WHERE'S THE KITCHEN? WHERE'S THE MASTER BEDROOM? WHERE'S THE LIVING ROOM? WHERE'S THE LAVORATORY (smart words to prove I'm smart)? WHERE IS THE HALF BATH AND MINIATURE BEDROOM? I'LL BELIEVE THIS IS A HOUSE WHEN I BELIEVE I'M GOING INSANE! (and that's never)
(The escort walks out)
Bagel: OH YEAH? I'LL ANNOY YOU AND MAKE YOU RELEASE ME! LETS SEE YOU COPE WITH THIS ANNOYING SOUND!
(Bagel bangs his head on the rubber, making a squeaky noise)
Bagel: I WILL NOT STOP UNTIL YOU SET ME FREE!
(We see the person guarding the room, who is listening to "Insomnia" by Megadeth on his headphones while reading a magazine. He scratches his nose. We cut back to bagel, who is banging away)
10 HOURS LATER
Bagel: You...will..release...me.
(Bagel sits for a second)
Bagel: Wait a minute...the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And I've been doing this for 10 hours. Maybe I am insane! I guess maybe I was meant to be here. Oh well, time to turn the brain off.
(Bagel flicks a switch in his ear)
Bagel: By morning, I'll be an idiot.
(Bagel goes to sleep)
THE NEXT DAY
(Bagel wakes up)
Bagel: Oh brother, I'm stuck in this squishy life vest.
(Bagel touches the rubber)
Bagel: Hey, squishy stuff!
(Bagel touches the floor and giggles)
1 HOUR LATER
(Bagel keeps touching the floor and laughs)
(A nurse walks through the door)
Nurse: Here are your pills for the day.
(The nurse hands Bagel a cup)
Bagel: Hey, it's a smiley face!
(We see the cup. The three pills are just next to each other in a straight line)
Nurse: No it's not.
Bagel: I think I'm gonna call him Mr. Smiley Face Man.
Nurse: Okay...why don't you take them?
(Bagel starts chewing on the pills)
Nurse: No no no...you put them in your mouth and then you wash then down with the water.
Bagel: Okay!
(Bagel takes the pill and quickly starts choking)
Nurse: Oh no! I know CPR!
(The nurse pumps the pill out of Bagel)
Bagel: Thanks.
Nurse: Let's try that again.
10 HOURS LATER
Nurse: Okay...two down, one to go.
Bagel: I think I can do this one!
Nurse: I don't trust you at all, but go ahead.
(Bagel puts the pill in the water and drinks it)
Bagel: NOW ITS PURIFIED!
Nurse: NO NO NO! THE COATING WILL COME OFF!
Bagel: So?
Nurse: THEN IT WON'T SLIDE DOWN! Jeez, we need to get you a new pill.
SEVERAL MORE UNSUCCESSFUL SWALLOWING ATTEMPTS LATER
Nurse: Okay, have you got all 3 down?
Bagel: Yup!
Nurse: Good, because I QUIT! I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!
Bagel: Okay! Bye-bye!
SOME TIME LATER
(We see a new nurse come in)
Nurse: Okay it's time for your brain exercises.
(Bagel goes outside, but is put on a leash)
Nurse: Try to nail the board back into the house.
(We see a hammer, a board and a house with a very obvious hole which is missing a board exactly shaped like the one bagel has)
Bagel: Hmmm...
(Bagel hammers himself on the head over and over)
Bagel: boing
HALF AN HOUR LATER
(We see Bagel has a hole in his head)
Nurse: Okay, it's time for you to go back-jebus what happened?
Bagel: I don't know.
Nurse: I can see why this job pays so high now.
(We see a montage of Bagel screwing things up like not being able to use a fork at his meal, breaking the foundation of the building, and more)
(We cut to a couple people in a meeting)
Person #1: I think patient 502 has issues. I mean he hasn't been able to do anything without screwing it up! Heck, he needs diapers!
Person #2: He's not crazy. He's just stupid.
Person #1: I know, but he's not someone we can help at this point. I think we should just put him down.
Person #2: I support this motion.
(We cut to the nurse walking into the rubber room)
Nurse: I'm sorry I had to do this, but you're simply incompetent.
(The nurse injects Bagel. We cut inside his body, where a green liquid seems to be spreading. We go into his brain)
Mini Bagel: GUYS, WE NEED TO TURN THE SYSTEM BACK ON!
Mini Bagel #2: BUT ITS BEYOND OUR POWER!
Mini Bagel: There is one way to get it running.
Mini Bagel #2: What is it?
Mini Bagel: METALLICA.
("Fight Fire With Fire" starts playing. Bagel wakes up, bests up the nurse, kicks down the door, rips open his straitjacket, beats up the guards, kicking them both in the balls. The two other guards Bagel pushes aside and runs by. He rolls into the closet, grabs a gun and shoots everyone, runs out of the hospital and bombs it. The song cuts after the second chorus.)
Bagel: WOOO! I know jack again!
(Bagel runs up to BobSponge)
BobSponge: Oh Bagel you're back. Where have you been? I keep calling you but you don't pick up.
Bagel: Ah, but I was in a straitjacket. Therefore, I couldn't pick up the phone.
BobSponge: But why were you in a straitjacket?
Bagel: Cause some guys with toothbrushes told you so.
BobSponge: I still don't get it.
Bagel: I do.
(Bagel sits out on the street while Popeye walks by)
Popeye: Oh dang, you're back. Oh well it was good while it lasted.
Bagel: Actually Popeye, I do think I like Ride the Lightning more than Death Magnetic.
Popeye: Good for you. But I still hate you.
Bagel: Thanks.
THE END

^FACT OF THE DAY: This episode has probably the longest production time, being started 4 months before it was completed.
 
Could I be in it
 
President Squidward said:
I don't think he's taking characters anymore...
Click to expand...
That is true. The episodes are written far in advance to when they are posted, so it's just rather to take characters. I'd-season. HOWEVER, I will except you guys


Honest Slug said:
Could I be in?
Click to expand...
CakeCup said:
Mind if I become a character on the SBM show?
Click to expand...
Alex Squarepants said:
Could I be in an episode sometime? It doesn't have to be the next one.
Click to expand...
A Lonely Fishstick said:
hi
Click to expand...
because I need as many characters as I can get for an upcoming story arc, or at least the season finale. Normally I don't do this but I need as many characters as I can get for that series to work. You guys won't appear in episodes for a while though.
 
Can I be in it too? It is ok if u have enough peeps. U can make up my character. :)
 
I'd like to see Pinhead in it, but if it doesn't work don't bother.
 
boob jokes! disturbing plot line that's best you don't think too hard about! the large hadron collider! this episode has it all!

Poison Was The Cure
Written by BagelsinEurope

(The scene opens with Bagel walking down the streets on a sunny day)
Bagel: Wow! What a boring and uninteresting day at the moment!
Random Bearded Frog: HEY KID YOU WANT SOME FREE CHEESE
Bagel: This seems very suspicious but hey why not?
(Bagel eats the cheese)
Bagel: Hey, that was pretty good, actually.
(Bagel walks away)
(We cut to Prez watching this from a telescope in his home)
Prez: YES! LETS SEE IF IT WORKED
1 DAY LATER
Prez: MAYBE IT TAKES A WEEK
1 WEEK LATER
Prez: Okay at this point I don't think it will work.
(Prez jumps out onto the street)
Prez: HEY BAGEL
Bagel: Yes?
Prez: TRY THIS
(Prez hands bagel a can that says "POSION" in really big red letters with a dead skull behind it)
Bagel: What is it?
Prez: It's an energy drink.
Bagel: Are you sure?
Prez: Yes!
(Prez looks incredibly sweaty)
(Bagel stares at Prez for a while)
Bagel: HMMMMM...Okay, whatever
(Bagel drinks it)
Bagel: Alright. That was…interesting.
Prez: Yes! This one has to work! It's grandma's classic homemade poison recipe!
1 DAY LATER
Prez: So, Bagel, do you feel any changes?
Bagel: No.
1 WEEK LATER
Prez: Is there anything wrong with you?
Bagel: Nope. Feel as fine as ever.
(Prez's head explodes)
(We cut to Prez in his lab)
Prez: I'll never make a good poison. Pretty soon I'm gonna invent the cure for cancer or something! Then everyone on the Poison Makers forum will laugh at me and find me a disgrace! I've got to invent something, and fast. Pretty soon the poison awards are coming to town!
(Prez paces back and forth, until a lightbulb pops up over his head)
Prez: If I mix every hazardous chemical I own, it has to have some bad effect on people!
(Prez selects out every potion he has and pours it into one big vat, then stirs it and puts it in a bottle)
Prez: MY CREATION
(We cut to the next day, with bagel once again walking down the street)/
Bagel: Why, my life seems to be so boring at the moment.
(Prez jumps out from the bottom of the scene)
Prez: I HAVE THE CURE FOR THAT?
Bagel: Another one? Fine...
(Bagel drinks it)
Bagel: Hey...this one tastes different than normal...
(Bagel yelps and then barfs out chromosomes)
Bagel: I don't think that went down too well.
Prez: Ooh boy, more chromosomes for my collection!
Bagel: Hey, I need those!
Prez: Alright, fine, I'll get you some. Just let me go into my collection...
(Prez jumps in his hole)
(beat)
(Prez jumps out)
Prez: Alright, here's a bag of assorted chromosomes. Some X's, some Y's and a couple I can't even identify. Use which ones you want and give the rest back to me.
Bagel: Okay!
(Bagel runs out of the scene)
Prez: I'm afraid your chromosomes aren't the only thing you'll lose, Bagel. MUAHAHAHAHAHA!
(We cut to Bagel's house)
Bagel: Alright, let's see what we got. Four X's, three Y's, and this one kind of looks like a ninja star, plus...is that the large hadron collider? Man, this is a tough decision. I think I'll just take 'em all.
(Bagel shoves them all in his mouth)
Bagel: Alright, let's see what happens!
(We cut back to Prez)
Prez: I gotta get some other people to try.
(Prez runs over to BobSponge)
BobSponge: is the phonics here yet
Prez: No...but I have...um...Phonics Juice!
BobSponge: OOH GIMME
(BobSponge drinks it all)
(We cut inside BobSponge's brain. We see a bunch of mini BobSponges at a factory)
Mini BobSponge: GUYS, THIS IS THE DAY WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR!
Mini BobSponge #2: We're turning on the brain power?
Mini BobSponge: YES!
(Everyone runs around in panic)
(We cut to back to RL BobSponge, who blinks)
BobSponge: Excuse me sir President Squidward, but I can not make banter I with you at this moment. I am currently too busy working on a new plot to solve the dilemma that faces youth hunger in Africa. I apologize if there was anything you wish to tell me, but I mustn't be loquacious at this moment. I wish to socialize another point in time, but I must leave now.
(BobSponge walks inside his house)
(Prez just stands there for about 20 seconds)
Prez: Okay, I guess this can do many things...but it's still poison. I gotta give it to more people.
(Bagel runs out onto the street)
Bagel: HEY PREZ! HEY PREZ! GUESS WHAT HAPPENED?
Prez (excitedly): What?
Bagel: So I took all of the chromosomes, and now I'm a hermaphrodite!
(Prez's eye twitches)
Prez: Wait...wait....wait....wait....wait....wait. So you've grown male and female genitals?!
Bagel: Yes!
Prez: BUT THATS NOT BIOLOGICALLY POSSIBLE!
Bagel: Well...I just did it.
Prez: ::dolphin noise::, I made a biological advancement.
(Bagel runs away shouting "RETRACTABLE BOOBS")
Prez: Well, at least some part of this poison has to kill.
(BobSponge runs up to Prez)
Prez: Oh boy, don't tell me you solved the world hunger crisis.
BobSponge: I have accomplished more feats than that. I found the cure for all viruses, solved the world's energy crisis, fixed the economy, ended the California Drought, resolved all war conflicts around the world, and stopped the formation of all hurricanes, earthquakes, tornados and tsunamis.
Prez: But...how? I just talked to you like 30 seconds or something ago!
BobSponge: I would explain to you, my fellow chap, but it would take fat too much time to explain the technological advancements that allow me to face conflicts in little to no time, because of the intellectual processing for the systems to create duplicate properties and further advance brainpower and speed that makes time further and further irrelevant.
Prez: I can't even. I'm just done.
(Prez just walks away sadly)
Prez: Hey, wait a minute. It's just two people. There were 39 chemicals in that potion. There's gotta be at least one that causes bad things to happen.
(Prez walks up to Brick)
Brick: YOU CAN FACE JOHNNY WHEN HE'S GOOD AND READY
Prez: Hey brick, drink this.
Brick: Why?
Prez: Cause seagull babies.
Brick: YES
(Brick drinks it)
Brick: THANKS MAMA I CAN FLY
(Brick starts flying)
(We pan in on Prez's face. Around his face in dream bubbles we have Bagel saying "RETRACTABLE BOOBS", BobSponge saying what he said earlier, and Brick saying "I can fly". His face gets red and then his top comes off with smoke)
Prez: IF IT WORKS SO WELL FOR EVERYONE THEN I SHOULD WIN THE POISPN AWARDS WITH THIS!
(Prez drinks the whole bottle)
Prez: There. Now I just wait for the effects to kick in.
(beat)
(Prez collapses and dies)
(cut to black)
 
The Appetizer said:
Can I be in one? Pretty please with a cherry on top.
Click to expand...
Okay. Sure.

New characters:

Honest Slug: A talking slug who everyone thinks never lies, but is really a dirty liar that everyone believes just because he's called "Honest" Slug. First episode airdate: 6/10

CakeCup: I can't reveal your character until next week's episode airs, because that would give away the surprise of next episode. First episode airdate: 6/17 (if you wanna know, you can PM me. EVERYONE ELSE MUST WAIT)

Alex SquarePants: SBM's extreme TV Trope addict. First episode airdate: 6/24

A Lonely Fishtick: Some guy everybody hates. First episode airdate: 6/10

Spongebob07: The guy who always just stands there saying "BALOONS" at the most inconvenient time. First episode airdate: 6/3

Pinhead Larry: The funeral parlor owner. First episode airdate: TBA

The Appetizer: A talking piece of poop who "likes things". First episode airdate: 6/3


New episodes that are airing before July. Next weeks episode is not here because I can't reveal anything about it for it to work. These descriptions don't really give anything away at all.

Bad Omen: BobSponge annoys Popeye.
Set The World Afire: Popeye has to pee on himself. Courtesy of Bagel.
ZOMBIES!: Zombie apocalypse special.
Popeye's Trial: THE POTATOES WERE IN THE MAILBOX
::dolphin noise:: the Dog: Spongy tries to teach Bagel how to play video games.
Bagel's Tropes: Bagel makes up his own boasts of TV Tropes he claims to have done in The SBM Show. Bad things happen. (Reworked episode Brick once was gonna write)
A Hole In Time: You forget....to remember....
Return To Bologna: Our version of Family Guy's "Back to the Pilot"!

Those contain two seperate story arcs and one loose episode. All your characters should premiere somewhere in there. More information about these episodes will emerge as their airdates come closer.

And for now, here's a preview for next week's episode. I tried to find the least revealing scene possible.

Bagel: RING TOSS
(ssj tosses his rings, and makes two of three.)
Prez: MY TURN! Hey wait a minute, these are horseshoes!
Bagel: SAME THING
Prez: But their mass is heavier than me!
(Prez falls to the ground holding his horseshoe)
Bagel: SSJ WINS
 
Hoopla! said:
Hey guys, if you want to be in the special, speak now because I'm starting the last part and I'm only taking 5 members

•Griff
•SnowBro
•Trophy
•
•

no g4rys allowed
Click to expand...
if theres still a free spot then me I guess
 
Can I be in the show?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top