Personal Top 16 Worst Zeus Cervas Episodes

Zeus Cervas is probably the most hated of the Spongebob writers. While he has made some good episodes (that's another list for another time) he's also made some of the most infamous episodes of the series. That's what I'm counting down today.
16.

The main problem with this episode is how far it stretched suspension of disbelief for a plot. The plot is that Spongebob and Squidward compete to see who can learn the most customer names. Because he's Spongebob, he already knows all the customers. I'll believe that, it's very close to what his original personality would do. Squidward then takes the book with the names written in it, which is also close to his original personality. Krabs puts them in a sudden death match to find out one more name. Squidward asks him his name, and he responds "What's It To Ya". After some filler, Squidward takes the man's wallet and runs away. A cop predictably goes after him. After a fight over the wallet, Squidward then finds the license and reads the name. It's "What Zit Tooya". As you would guess, this is the main problem. The easiest way to solve this is for the man to say "my name is What Zit Tooya". He seems to not even know that it's a saying that people use. Squidward goes to jail, where he learns the prize is just a brochure. Squidward worked his guts out, and that's what he got for it. I'm not saying theft should be rewarded (in fact, this is one of the few episodes where Squidward deserves his torment.), but imagine if Spongebob or even Squidward won fairly, and it was still the prize? This episode is based around miscommunications and assumptions, but they're all stretched so far that it just isn't believable.

Next episode: "Oh, look, Pat. He's crying tears of joy."

I don't hate Zeus Cervas but yes, he is a bad writer. I'm looking forward to this list. I hate Good Ol' Whatshisname a lot.

Lame episode really to the point where I can't take what happens to Squidward seriously here. Also keep in mind that Zeus didn't write any of these premises. It was Rich Pursel who came up with this idea as an outline.

15.

The Thing was one of the first Squidward torture episodes (spoiler alert: we'll see some more by the end of this list) and while it isn't the worst torture ep, it's still near unwatchable. The episode starts with Squidward thinking he will finally get some peace and quiet. Seeing that this is Squidward, it doesn't last long. Enter Spongebob and Patrick. Squidward slams the door in their face, but since when has that stopped our *cough* heroes? They go in and watch TV with Squidward anyway. Squidward then runs away (oh God, Boating Buddies flashbacks) and gets in an accident with a cement truck, which then pours cement on him which hardens (how can it harden underwater?). Squidward then goes to the jellyfish fields, unrecognizable. Our heroes find him and take him home, because they think he's cute. Isn't it illegal to take animals out of the wild and take them in? Oh, wait, the police are busy in hot pursuit on the guy that dared play a slide whistle in public. Gary hates "Smelly", so they take him to Patrick's house. Well, at least Spongebob cared about what Gary wanted unlike... a later entry on the list. "Smelly" starts acting up, so animal control is called. The police seem to not care that the animal was taken from the wild to be cared as a pet with no regard for law. Spongebob and Patrick tries to break "Smelly" free away from the Zoo, which would take much better care of "Smelly" than Sponge and Pat, and they come across something more contrived than a man named Whatzit Tooya: a herd of animals that look exactly like "Smelly". They are just as stupid as Sponge and Pat, and take Squidward away. They then bring him to their habitat, where a TV with a clarinet player is on the screen. Right when Squidward finally has some joy in his life, the cement cracks and he is revealed to the animals. The episode then ends with no conclusion. I don't think I need to explain why this episode is so bad anymore.

#14: "Well, at least he had his seat belt on."

I hate The Thing episode a lot. Next episode is Boat Smarts.

next one is boat smarts. which is actually a pretty stupid episode.

Ehhhhhh this one's really not that bad. For the most part, it's meh. There are two episodes specifically from Season 4 that I think are 10x worse than that one.

Popeye Q. Krabs said:

Ehhhhhh this one's really not that bad. For the most part, it's meh. There are two episodes specifically from Season 4 that I think are 10x worse than that one.

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all that glitters and squid wood?

goodmorning said:

all that glitters and squid wood?

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Yup. And this is one I admittedly hated the first time I watched it. Maybe my opinion will change again.

14.
How can you go wrong when paired with Good Ol' Whatshisname?

Well, you can with one sentence:
"Looks like you forgot your boat smarts!"
-Spongebob
That line alone can justify its placement on the list. I'll go ahead and explain the other ways the episode is awful anyway. The main problem (other than... that line) is that Squidward, in an episode that tries to have an educational look, is punished for doing the right thing, while Spongebob gets off scot free. I doubt that anyone old enough to drive would actually take this episode seriously, but kids can still be imprinted on while young. Add to that the fact that the episode is excruciatingly unfunny. Most of the jokes consist of one concept: Hurt Squidward and other bystanders, keep Spongebob ignorant, repeat without rinsing. If the episode had any form of punishment to Spongebob for his idiocy, then it may be salvageable. Instead, we got... that line. I will never forgive... that line.

13: "It's just that this is a highly developed piece of engineering that takes quality time to master."

I actually love Boat Smarts.

I hate Boat Smarts. What did Squidward do to deserve all that? Follow the PROPER SAFETY PROCEDURES?

Boat Smarts is a short, so I care less about the squid abuse and other related stuff.

Overall, I'm pretty tolerant towards shorts, unless they're very boring (like Waiting) and don't justify their length.

Never seen this one but I have a feeling I might have a similar opinion on it. Too short for me to take that seriously.

Popeye Q. Krabs said:

There are two episodes specifically from Season 4 that I think are 10x worse than that one.

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I can think of one.
#13

I hate book ends. I know what this episode was trying to do. It was trying to teach a lesson, and a good lesson at that. But did it have to fail so hard? The episode starts with someone ordering a "monster patty", something that hasn't been ordered in years. When Spongebob tries to flip the gargantuan slab of beef, his spatula snaps in half. After an annoying condensing of A Day Without Tears, the spatula is then taken to the hospital. Spongebob still needs to work, and he finds "Le Spatula 3000". ALL WANNABE WRITERS TAKE NOTE: ADDING LE TO AN ITEM DOES NOT MAKE IT COOL. Sorry. Spongebob, after a long and unfunny gag, sells his entire house and its contents, along with his clothes (he is naked the rest of the episode. Hurr hurr.) to afford the spatula. At work, the spatula, suddenly sentient, refuses to flip patties due to it not being classy enough. After an especially mean-spirited leaving (why is it Spongebob only gets punished when he means well, while Choir Boys and Boating Buddies has him go without pain?), Spongebob, still naked (hurr hurr) goes to the hospital to get his spatula, now healed. After the also sentient spatula feels betrayed, Spongebob rolls on the floor going full-on sob. May I take this moment to say that Spongebob crying is almost annoying as Spongebob laughing. While he is crying, he suddenly shows up on the screen to say "All that glitters is not gold." They might as well have had everyone say it at once to hammer the moral in. The spatula then forgives him, and they go back to flipping patties. Another monster patty is ordered (wait, is hasn't been ordered in years, but then is ordered twice in a week?), and while flipping it, Spongebob's arms snap off. I hate book ends.

:handshake:

All That Glitters is horrible. I agreed.

Yes! Finally, a topic about bad Zeus Cervas episodes!

Alright, fair enough with this one. It's exactly what I was thinking. The most bizarre part about that episode is that Erik Wiese helped to write it too.

Spongetron Robotpants said:

Yes! Finally, a topic about bad Zeus Cervas episodes!

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I was wondering when you'd show up.